THE  LIBRARY 

OF 

THE  UNIVERSITY 
OF  CALIFORNIA 

LOS  ANGELES 


The  Works  of 

CHARLES     PAUL    DE  KOCK 

WITH  A  GENERAL  INTRODUCTION  BY 

JULES     CLARETIE 

MADAME  PANTALON 

TRANSLATED  INTO  ENGLISH  BY 

EDITH    MARY   NORRIS 


THE    FREDERICK   J.    QUINBY    COMPANY 

BOSTON  LONDON  PARIS 


Edition 

Limited  to  One  Thousand  Copies 
Number. -t- .. 


COPYRIGHT,  1904,  BY 
THE  FREDERICK  J.  QUINBY  COMPANY 

All  rights  reserved 


PRIMTBD  ON  OLD  STRATFORD  PAPBR  MADE  BT 
MlTTINEAGUE  PAPER  COMPANY 


^Plimpton  JJress 

Printers  and  Binders,  Norwood,  Mass. 
U.SJI. 


M25E 


CONTENTS 

CHAPTER   I 
Two  Friends.     Captain  de  Vabeaupont  and  His 

Cabin  Boy I 

CHAPTER   II 
The  Wedding  Dinner.     The  Ball 29 

CHAPTER  III 

Sixteen   Months  Later.     Madame   Pantalon   De- 
clares Herself 68 

CHAPTER    IV 

Chou-chou's  Escapades.     A  Serious  Resolution    .        90 

CHAPTER   V 
The  Independents  on  Their  Journey.     Choice  of 

a  Uniform ill 

CHAPTER   VI 
The  Rural  Guard 140 

CHAPTER  VII 
Great  Works.     The  Ladies  Establish  a  Journal  .      156 


•V 

V 


CONTENTS 

FAG* 

CHAPTER  VIII 

Madame  Vespuce's  Novel  and  How  She  Read  It 

Without  Interruption      .     „     .     .     .     .     .      187 

CHAPTER  IX 

A  Challenge.  An  Invalid.  A  Military  Promenade      209 

CHAPTER  X 

Lundi-Gras  as  Cook.      A  Case  to  Defend        .     .      227 

CHAPTER  XI 

A  Water  Party.   Fouillac  as  a  Speculator.  A  Wild 

Boar  Hunt 260 

CHAPTER  XII 

News  of  Fouillac.     Where  Woman  Always  Re- 
turns to  Her  True  Nature 290 


CHAPTER  1 

Two  FRIENDS.     CAPTAIN  DE  VABEAUPONT  AND 
His  CABIN  BOY 

ON  the  Place  de  la  Bourse,  nearly  opposite  the 
Vaudeville  theatre,  that  at  the  time  of  which  we 
write,  the  year  1867,  had  not  as  yet  been  removed 
to  its  new  home  in  the  Chaussee-d'Antin,  two 
young  men  met,  looked  at  each  other  in  surprise, 
stopped  suddenly,  and  heartily  shaking  hands  ex- 
claimed at  one  and  the  same  time, — 

"Why,  Adolphe!" 

"Frederic!" 

"  What  a  lucky  chance  ! " 

"So  it  is  ;  why,  for  six  months  I  haven't  caught 
sight  of  you  !  Where  have  you  been  hiding  ?  " 

"  My  dear  fellow,  I've  been  hidden  in  Russia, 
and  very  well  hidden  from  head  to  foot  in  furs, 
to  guard  me  from  the  intense  cold,  I  can  assure 
you." 

"  And  what  were  you  doing  in  Russia  ?  You 
are  not  an  actor,  you  are  not  a  painter,  ah,  I  had 
forgotten  that  you  were  a  doctor !  An  amateur  phy- 
sician, that  is  to  say,  for  I  believe  you  have  not  had 
much  practice  as  yet,  although  you  have  received 
your  degree." 

Vol.  XXI       i 


2  MADAME  PANTALON 

"  Yes,  I  have  received  my  degree ;  but  I  have 
come  into  some  property,  which  obviates  the  neces- 
sity of  my  following  medicine,  except  in  my  leisure 
moments.  As  for  that,  travel  is  very  useful  to  one 
who  wishes  to  seek  prescriptions  to  preserve  the 
health  of  his  friends  or  his  patients." 

"You  were  always  fond  of  going  about  and 
seeing  different  countries;  you  are  a  regular 
tourist." 

"  Somewhat  of  a  tourist,  but  that  is  beginning 
to  pass.  I  am  getting  close  on  to  thirty,  I  think 
I  shall  attain  that  age  next  month,  and  the  desire 
for  travel  lessens  as  one  grows  stouter." 

"  By  Jove  !  I  ought  to  know  how  old  you  are, 
since  we  were  born  in  the  same  year  and  month, 
and  even  on  the  same  day,  I  think.  Yes,  my  dear 
Frederic  Duvassel,  we  shall  be  thirty  on  the  twenty- 
first  of  next  month." 

"  Really  !     You  are  sure  it  isn't  twenty-nine  ?" 

"  No,  it  really  is  thirty." 

"You  dear  old  Adolphe  Pantalon!  you  look  as 
young  as  possible,  with  your  light  hair,  blue  eyes, 
and  roseleaf  skin;  and  you'll  continue  to  look  so 
for  some  time  to  come." 

"  I  am  sure  I  hope  so !  You  with  your  dark 
hair  and  eyes,  pale  skin  and  romantic  features, 
heaven  knows  how  many  successful  love  affairs  you 
have  had." 

"They  were  not  all  successful;  some  of  them 
turned  out  very  badly  indeed,  I  assure  you ! " 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK         3 

"It  was  probably  some  intrigue  of  that  nature 
that  took  you  to  Russia  ?  " 

"  Not  at  all,  I  went  there  to  settle  an  estate  and 
collect  some  outstanding  debts.  That  business 
being  settled,  I  should  have  liked  to  explore  the 
country,  which  is  very  interesting,  very  picturesque; 
but  I  have  a  brother  here,  younger  than  myself 
by  ten  years — " 

"  Oh,  yes,  little  Gustave  !  " 

"  My  dear  fellow !  little  Gustave  is  over  twenty 
years  of  age ;  he's  a  very  handsome  lad,  not  very 
tall,  but  well-built;  he  has  a  charming  disposition, 
as  gentle  as  a  lamb,  and  is  as  timid  as  a  young 
lady  —  that  is  to  say,  as  a  young  lady  who  is  timid. 
But  he  is  still  rather  childish,  rather  simple,  even, 
and  that  is  why  he  needs  a  guide,  a  mentor;  so,  to 
give  him  self-confidence,  in  which  he  is  rather  lack- 
ing, I  am  going  to  have  him  travel.  In  four  days 
we  leave  for  England,  thence  we  shall  go  to  Italy; 
in  fact,  I  want  Gustave  to  learn  something  of  peo- 
ple, society,  manners,  by  visiting  other  countries. 
Will  it  profit  him?  It  pleases  me  to  think  it  will; 
at  any  rate,  it  can  do  him  no  harm.  Why,  what 
are  you  thinking  of  now,  Adolphe?  you  don't  seem 
to  be  listening  to  me,  and,  strange  as  it  may  seem, 
I  like  people  to  listen  when  I  am  talking  to  them. 
There  are  some  people  who  care  nothing  about 
that,  and  who,  provided  they  can  talk,  do  not  no- 
tice whether  their  audience  pays  any  attention  to 
them  or  not ;  you  may  answer  them  at  cross  pur- 


4  MADAME  PANTALON 

poses,  but  they  still  go  on.  They  are  like  those 
others  who,  at  a  social  gathering,  sit  down  to  the 
piano  and  keep  on  singing  when  everybody  is  en- 
gaged in  private  conversation  —  those  people  sing 
and  talk  for  themselves." 

"  I  am  listening,  my  dear  fellow !  yes,  yes,  I 
heard  all  you  said;  but  I  have  a  good  many  things 
on  my  mind." 

"  Well,  you  have  rather  a  strange  expression ; 
but  I  am  reassured,  since  you  look  cheerful  rather 
than  sad." 

"Ah,  I  am  going  to  give  you  some  very  astonish- 
ing news;  however,  it  is  nothing  but  what's  quite 
natural." 

"  The  deuce  !  you  rouse  my  curiosity.  Let's 
hear  your  news." 

"  I  am  going  to  be  married,  my  dear  fellow." 

"  You  are  going  to  be  married  ?  is  it  possible  ? 
already ! " 

"  Already,  you  say,  why,  at  thirty  years  of  age, 
there's  no  already  about  it." 

"You  are  going  to  marry,  and  why  should  you 
do  that  ?  You  are  a  lawyer,  you  have  a  fortune, 
and  you  were  so  happy." 

"Yes,  but  I  marry  in  the  hope  of  being  further 
so  —  and  then  a  good  many  people  have  said  to 
me,  '  Pantalon,  why  don't  you  marry?  you  ought 
to  marry,  it  gives  a  young  man  an  assured  position 
in  society.' ' 

"  Some  people  are  always  meddling  with  what 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK  5 

does  not  concern  them.  I'll  wager  the  ones  who 
said  that  to  you  were  married." 

"  Why  do  you  think  that  ?  " 

"  Oh,  because  —  well,  never  mind  !  If  it  is  all 
settled,  I  hope  you've  done  well.  And  whom  are 
you  going  to  marry  ?  " 

"  Mademoiselle  Cesarine  Ducrochet." 

"  By  Jove,  where  did  you  pick  her  up  ?  " 

"In  society,  in  very  good  company  indeed.  You 
don't  suppose  I  am  marrying  blindly.  Mademoi- 
selle Cesarine  is  the  daughter  of  an  honorable  mer- 
chant ;  she  early  lost  both  parents  and  was  brought 
up  by  a  maternal  uncle,  M.  de  Vabeaupont,  a  re- 
tired sea  captain,  who  is  very  rich,  has  never  been 
married,  and  who  worships  his  niece,  to  whom  he 
will  leave  all  his  fortune,  and  to  whom  he  will  give 
a  hundred  thousand  francs  on  her  marriage." 

"  That's  something.  And  how  old  is  the  young 
lady  ? " 

"Twenty-five." 

"  Twenty-five !  a  hundred  thousand  francs  dowry, 
heiress  to  a  very  rich  uncle  —  she  must  be  very 
ugly,  or  deformed." 

"  Not  at  all.  She  is  tall,  well-built,  and  has 
very  fine  features.  What  made  you  think  she  was 
ugly?" 

"  Because  I  don't  understand  how,  with  such  a 
fine  dowry  and  so  many  advantages,  she  is  not 
married  before  twenty-five." 

"  You  will   understand  it  perfectly  when  you 


6  MADAME  PANTALON 

learn  that  Mademoiselle  Cesarine  was  brought  up 
at  her  uncle's  chateau,  where,  since  she  was  ten 
years  old,  she  has  done  as  she  pleased.  M.  de 
Vabeaupont,  who  is  very  old,  and  laid  up  with 
gout  a  great  part  of  the  year,  has  never  opposed 
his  niece  in  anything,  even  allowing  her  to  choose 
her  own  masters  when  she  desired  any  ;  being  thus 
left  to  herself,  you  can  comprehend  that  Cesarine 
has  become  rather  —  how  shall  I  express  it?  — 
rather  mannish.  She  rides  on  horseback,  uses 
weapons  and  takes  gymnastic  exercises  just  like  a 
man  —  perhaps  does  these  things  better  than  some 
men." 

"  Devil  take  it !     Devil  take  it !  " 

"  What  makes  you  say  that  ?  " 

"  Tell  me  the  rest." 

"Then  she  got  the  idea  of  studying  law,  the 
code,  of  learning  Latin — she  speaks  Latin,  my  dear 
fellow  !  " 

"  That  will  make  your  domestic  life  felicitous : 
When  you  wish  to  kiss  your  wife,  she  will  say  to 
you, l  Non  possumus.' ' 

"  As  you  may  well  imagine,  that  was  only  a  pass- 
ing fancy  —  she  will  soon  forget  all  that.  In  fact, 
used  as  she  had  become  to  following  her  own  will 
alone,  Cesarine  did  not  care  to  marry  and  exchange 
her  liberty  for  a  bond  which  would  give  her  a 
master." 

"She  was  right." 

"  She  refused  all  the  matches  which  were  offered 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK          7 

her,  and  they  were  not  a  few.  But  her  uncle  ended 
by  getting  vexed  about  it,  and  he  told  her  that  he 
should  like  to  see  his  grandnephews  and  grand- 
nieces  about  him.  For  the  first  time  he  would  not 
give  way  to  her,  he  would  be  obeyed,  and  he  took 
his  niece  into  society,  saying  to  her,  *  Take  whom 
you  wish  for  your  husband,  but  take  some  one.' 
Then  it  was  that  I  met  her." 

"  And  you,  of  course,  made  a  conquest  of  the 
fair  Cesarine  ?  " 

"  It  seems  so  ;  and,  by  Jove,  I  didn't  take  much 
pains  to  do  it,  for  you  know  I'm  not  very  skilful 
with  women — some  one  told  me  that  she  thought 
I  looked  like  a  good  fellow." 

"So  you  do,  in  fact." 

"Also  that  that  pleased  her  better  than  the  more 
pretentious  manners  of  bigger  swells  than  I." 

"  As  for  you,  you  fell  in  love  with  this  damsel 
straightway,  I  suppose  ?  " 

"In  love !  oh,  by  Jove !  no.  I  liked  her, 
thought  her  very  good-looking.  She's  dark,  very 
dark,  in  fact,  hair,  eyes,  skin,  even,  which  has  a  rich 
warm  tinge ;  her  mouth  is  stern  and  I  think  she 
has  a  little  mustache,  but  not  enough  to  be  un- 
becoming. In  fact,  she  is  a  fine-looking  person, 
but  one  dare  not  joke  with  her  for  fear  his  pleas- 
antries may  be  ill-received." 

"  Well,  that  will  be  some  sort  of  a  guaranty  that 
your  wife  will  be  faithful." 

"  My  wife  faithful  ?  "   resumed  Adolphe,  with 


8  MADAME  PANTALON 

an  air  of  indifference,  "  Oh,  I  shall  never  be  uneasy 
as  to  that ;  in  the  first  place,  I  am  not  of  a  jealous 
disposition.  I  have  presented  my  sister  Elvina 
to  Cesarine,  who  liked  her  very  much  and  has 
undertaken  to  finish  her  education." 

"  Why,  of  course,  you  have  a  sister!  How  old 
is  she  now  ?  " 

"  She  is  almost  seventeen,  and  is  very  pleasing ; 
after  my  mother's  death  I  sent  her  to  boarding- 
school  ;  but  when  I  am  married  to  Cesarine,  my 
sister  will  live  with  us,  that  is  settled." 

"  When  is  this  famous  marriage  to  take  place? " 

"  Tomorrow,  my  dear  fellow,  at  the  latest." 

"  So  soon  as  that  ?  " 

"  And  you  will  come  to  my  wedding  ?  I  shall 
count  on  you." 

"  You  invite  me  because  you  happened  to  meet 
me  —  thanks  awfully." 

"  As  a  proof  to  the  contrary,  look  at  this  list  of 
persons  I  was  going  to  invite  today — you  head  it." 

"  That's  so ;  well,  then,  I  will  come  to  your 
wedding.  After  all  I  am  glad  it  takes  place  to- 
morrow, as  I  leave  in  four  days.  But  how  about 
my  brother  Gustave  ?  " 

"  You  will  bring  him  with  you,  of  course  ;  one 
can  never  have  too  many  dancers  at  a  wedding. 
Will  you  come  to  the  dinner?  " 

"  Oh,  no,  a  wedding  feast  is  a  family  affair,  and, 
when  one  knows  neither  the  bride's  nor  the  bride- 
groom's people  it's  rather  a  bore." 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK          9 

"  Well,  I  won't  press  you,  for  I  am  of  your 
opinion,  it  is  not  entertaining  to  a  stranger,  and 
then  Uncle  Vabeaupont,  the  old  sailor,  is  not 
always  amiable ;  he  swears  like  a  trooper,  and  his 
talk  is  seasoned  with  I  don't  know  how  many  nau- 
tical terms  ;  when  he  has  the  gout  he  is  worse  than 
ever.  At  four  o'clock  in  the  morning  we  shall 
have  a  special  little  supper." 

"  At  four  o'clock  !  that's  very  late.  When  are 
you  going  to  withdraw  with  your  wife." 

"My  dear  fellow  ;  it  is  my  wife  who  has  settled 
it  all ;  I  only  follow  her  instructions." 

"What!  already?  Come,  that's  doing  very  well; 
now  I  know  that  she  regulated  everything  I  see 
that  all  will  go  on  as  it  should." 

"  Now  I  must  leave  you,  I'm  pressed  for  time, 
as  you  may  imagine  ;  I  am  so  afraid  of  forgetting 
something,  and  on  the  occasion  of  one's  marriage 
one  is  sure  to  forget  something.  My  affianced  has 
charged  me  with  so  many  commissions.  Bouquets, 
orange-flowers  —  let  me  see,  what  did  she  say 
about  them  ?  " 

"  That  she  did  not  want  any  ?  " 

"  The  idea  !  she  wants  a  great  many,  on  the  con- 
trary, and  that  is  easily  understood  ;  when  a  woman 
waits  to  be  married  until  she  is  twenty-five  she's 
entitled  to  an  extra  large  bouquet." 

"  Then  if  a  young  lady  marries  at  sixty  she  is 
entitled  to  a  whole  orange  tree  in  a  box.  But,  one 
moment !  what  is  the  address  of  the  restaurant 


io  MADAME  PANTALON 

where  you  are  to  hold  the  wedding  festivities  ?  if 
you  want  me  to  come  I  must  know  that." 

"  How  stupid  I  am ;  it  will  be  just  like  me  to 
forget  I  am  married  tomorrow.  My  dear  fellow, 
my  wedding  festival  takes  place  at  Bonvalet's, 
Boulevard  du  Temple  ;  they  have  some  fine  rooms, 
where  people  may  dine  and  dance  very  comfort- 
ably." 

"  At  Bonvalet's,  very  well ;  at  eleven  o'clock 
my  brother  and  I  will  be  there." 

"  That  is  too  late ;  Cesarine  has  settled  that 
otherwise.  The  dinner  is  to  be  at  five  o'clock 
precisely  —  that's  the  uncle's  dinner  time.  At 
seven  o'clock  every  one  will  change  their  dress, 
and  the  ball  will  begin  at  nine  o'clock,  because 
uncle  wants  to  see  the  dancing  and  he  goes  to  bed 
at  midnight  —  do  you  understand  ?  " 

"  Very  well,  but  as  I  don't  care  to  dance  before 
the  uncle,  I  shall  come  as  late  as  I  can.  Good-by, 
till  tomorrow." 

Before  going  to  this  wedding,  reader,  let  us  be- 
come further  acquainted  with  the  person  who  is  to 
become  Madame  Pantalon,  and  with  her  uncle, 
the  former  captain  of  a  frigate,  Hercule  de  Vabeau- 
pont. 

We  have  little  to  add  to  the  portrait  of  the  bride 
which  has  been  drawn  for  us  by  her  future  hus- 
band. Mademoiselle  Cesarine  was  a  beautiful 
woman,  tall,  but  well-proportioned,  rather  strong, 
rather  fat  for  her  age,  a  Juno  rather  than  a  Venus. 


CHARLES  PAUL   DE  KOCK        n 

Her  features  were  regular,  her  nose  aquiline  and 
very  slightly  curved  after  the  fashion  of  a  bird's 
beak  ;  her  eyes  were  lively,  bold  and  capable  of 
a  calm,  unflinching  gaze.  Her  hair  and  eyebrows 
were  quite  black,  she  was  a  very  dark  woman.  In 
her  manner  and  walk  there  was  something  mascu- 
line ;  however,  when  she  chose  to  smile  and  make 
herself  agreeable  one  thought  her  quite  feminine. 
Mademoiselle  Cesarine  Ducrochet  had  an  imperi- 
ous disposition,  everybody  must  do  as  she  wished. 
At  bottom  she  was  not  bad,  but  she  would  not 
yield,  even  when  she  was  in  the  wrong  —  in  the 
first  place,  she  never  thought  she  was  in  the  wrong. 

Her  uncle  had  so  often  repeated  to  her  that  she 
had  more  mind  than  anyone  else,  that  she  believed 
herself  a  genius,  and  she  was  not  sensible  ;  but  in 
answering  a  malicious  speech  or  uttering  an  imper- 
tinence she  was  never  at  a  loss.  This  kind  of  wit 
is  very  common  among  women,  the  most  stupid 
of  them  are  sometimes  sparkling. 

Hercule  de  Vabeaupont  was  sixty-five  years  of 
age.  He  was  a  big  man,  thin,  with  strongly 
marked  features,  a  piercing  eye,  and  a  voice  which 
resembled  thunder.  But  age  and  numerous  wounds 
had  quite  changed  him. 

The  captain  was  round-shouldered  and  could 
hardly  walk,  his  gray  hair  still  covered  a  part  of 
his  forehead,  and  his  mustache  was  quite  white, 
but  his  voice  had  hardly  lost  its  vigor,  and  when 
his  anger  was  roused  it  still  had  the  threatening 


12  MADAME  PANTALON 

reverberations  which  had  made  his  seamen  obey 
his  commands. 

The  sole  passions  of  M.  Vabeaupont's  life  were 
glory  and  the  pleasures  of  the  table  ;  he  had  been 
a  mighty  fighter,  had  given  chase  to  pirates  and 
had  brought  many  a  corsair  low. 

He  had  only  left  the  sea,  the  theatre  of  his  ex- 
ploits, when  vanquished  by  age  and  the  gout,  which 
now  gave  him  no  truce,  and  had  then  retired  to  a 
very  fine  property,  a  kind  of  small  chateau,  which  he 
possessed  at  Bretigny,  a  little  village  in  Picardy,  in 
the  neighborhood  of  Noyon. 

But  the  old  captain  did  not  retire  to  his  domain 
unaccompanied,  he  took  with  him  his  cabin  boy,  who 
was  also  his  protege  and  whom  he  loved  as  much 
as  he  was  capable  of  loving  anybody,  and  to  whom 
he  was  thus  attached  because  he  had  almost  brought 
him  up,  and  people  usually  become  attached  to 
those  to  whom  they  do  good ;  it  would  only  be 
right  that  this  attachment  should  be  reciprocated 
by  the  person  benefited  ;  however,  there  are  nearly 
as  many  ungrateful  persons  as  there  are  benefactors. 

Here  it  was  not  so  ;  a  little  boy,  who  might  have 
been  seven  or  eight  years  old,  had  been  found  on 
a  pirate  ship  which  the  captain  had  captured.  Who 
was  he  ?  whence  did  he  come  ?  whom  were  his 
parents  ?  This  was  what  they  could  not  find  out, 
and  it  made  them  a  little  uneasy.  The  child  was 
pleasing  and  they  carried  it  to  the  captain,  who 
was  then  quite  a  young  man,  but  who,  with  all  his 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK         13 

bravery,  had  a  weakness  for  children  ;  on  seeing 
this  one,  he  exclaimed, — 

"  And  who  is  this  midget  ?  " 

"  No  one  knows,  captain,  we  found  him  in  the 
chief  pirate's  room.  Probably  his  father  was  killed 
during  the  combat." 

"  Well,  we'll  keep  him,  we'll  make  a  man  of 
him.  Can  he  talk  ?  " 

"A  jargon  that  no  one  understands." 

"  Come  here,  little  one,  what  is  your  name  ? " 

The  child  did  not  answer ;  but  he  began  to 
laugh,  and  snatching  from  a  sailor's  hand  a  goblet 
containing  a  little  rum,  he  put  it  to  his  lips  and 
swallowed  the  contents  without  making  a  grimace. 

This  action  delighted  the  captain ;  he  took  the 
little  boy  in  his  arms  and  jumped  him  on  his  knee. 

"  Devil  take  it !  you'll  be  a  fine  fellow,"  said 
he,  "  the  rum  didn't  even  make  you  wink.  Come, 
I  shall  keep  you,  you  shall  be  my  cabin  boy.  I 
attach  you  especially  to  my  person.  What  is 
today  ?  " 

"  Captain,  it's  carnival  time  and  this  is  Lundi- 
Gras  !  " 

"  Really  ?  well,  there's  a  name  all  ready  made. 
Little  fellow,  you  shall  be  called  { Lundi-Gras.' 
Do  you  hear,  you  others  ?  Now  take  Lundi-Gras 
away,  clean  him,  rig  him  out  as  a  cabin  boy  and 
teach  him  his  new  duties.  I  have  an  idea  we  shall 
make  something  of  him." 

This  was  how  the  captain,  who  was  still  young, 


14  MADAME  PANTALON 

received  M.  Lundi-Gras,  who  since  that  time  had 
never  left  his  captain,  whom  he  obeyed  as  the 
most  faithful  dog  obeys  his  master.  But  the  little 
cabin  boy,  whose  face  at  first  had  been  round  and 
saucy,  soon  became  a  great,  blowsy  fellow,  whose 
very  frequent  use  of  rum  gave  him  a  careless  and 
even  rather  brutal  expression. 

Lundi-Gras  became  very  fat,  but  did  not  grow 
tall,  and  remained  a  dwarfish  man,  which  did  not 
prevent  his  doing  his  work  well  and  always  being 
there  to  execute  his  captain's  orders.  The  latter, 
who  was  very  tall,  when  he  talked  to  his  cabin  boy 
leaned  upon  him  as  though  he  were  a  cane.  The 
captain  placed  his  hand  on  Lundi's  shoulder,  and 
if  he  walked  made  the  man  walk  before  him,  as  if 
he  held  a  bamboo,  and  the  cabin  boy,  being  used 
to  this  manoeuvre,  lent  himself  to  it  with  equa- 
nimity. 

Lundi-Gras  was  twenty  years  younger  than  the 
captain,  so  when  the  latter  was  obliged  to  say  good- 
by  to  his  frigate  at  the  age  of  sixty,  his  cabin  boy  was 
only  forty.  But,  thanks  to  the  rum,  which  he  fre- 
quently abused,  and  to  the  sun,  which  had  tanned 
his  skin,  M.  Lundi-Gras  looked  almost  as  old  as 
his  captain. 

His  corpulence  added  to  his  unpleasant  appear- 
ance. As  he  was  very  fat  indeed,  his  cheeks  hung 
in  folds,  like  awnings  drawn  up  at  the  window  ;  his 
nose,  shaped  like  a  chestnut,  was  almost  hidden  in 
the  folds  of  his  cheeks,  and  his  big,  stupid  eyes 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK        15 

made  him  look  like  one  of  those  grotesque  masks 
which  architects  sometimes  put  on  the  fa9ade  of  a 
theatre. 

M.  de  Vabeaupont,  who  had  not  wished  to  be 
separated  from  his  cabin  boy,  had  taken  Lundi- 
Gras  to  his  little  chateau,  saying  to  him, — 

"  You  shall  never  leave  me  again,  you  shall  lead 
the  life  of  a  pasha  here.  You  shall  have  nothing 
to  do  but  eat,  sleep,  drink,  and  be  always  at  my 
orders,  ready  to  obey  me  at  the  first  word  ;  does 
that  suit  you  ?  " 

"  It  suits  me  well,  captain." 

"  And  as  one  has  to  do  something  to  pass  the 
time  when  one  can  no  longer  fight,  you  shall  play 
a  game  with  me  when  it  suits  me." 

"Yes,  captain." 

"  What  games  do  you  know  ? " 

"  Dominos,  captain." 

"  That  is  something  ;  but  it  is  not  sufficient. 
Can't  you  play  cards  ? " 

"I  can  play  beggar-my-neighbor." 

"That  isn't  a  game.     Can't  you  play  piquet?  " 

"  No,  captain." 

"  I'll  teach  you  !  Every  man  should  know  how 
to  play  piquet." 

"  I  know  how  to  play  drogue J  and  pied  de  boeuf.2 '' 

"  That's  good  !  I'll  teach  you  to  play  piquet. 

1  Drogue.   A  game  of  cards  in  vogue  among  soldiers  j  the  loser  has  to  place 
and  keep  a  forked  stick  on  his  nose. 
*  A  child's  game. 


16  MADAME  PANTALON 

You  shall  try  not  to  get  tipsy  so  often.    And  when 
my  gout  allows  me  we  will  go  a-hunting." 

"Yes,  captain." 

Everything  was  done  as  M.  de  Vabeaupont  had 
planned. 

They  installed  themselves  at  the  chateau  in 
Bretigny,  a  vast  dwelling  which  had  more  than 
twenty  rooms,  without  the  servants'  offices.  These 
rooms  were  not  all  in  good  repair,  but  it  was  easy 
to  restore  them.  The  manor  was  something  like 
those  ancient  castles  which  are  found  in  such  pro- 
fusion in  English  romances.  It  was  flanked  by 
two  towers,  to  which  had  been  given  the  high- 
sounding  names  of  the  north  tower  and  the  south 
tower.  On  each  of  these  towers  there  was  still  a 
culverine  which  must  have  dated  from  the  time  of 
King  John,  and  which  had  not  been  used  since 
then. 

But  the  garden  was  very  large,  there  was  a  piece 
of  water,  a  grotto,  a  little  lake ;  then  a  wood,  which 
covered  about  three  acres  and  might  have  passed 
for  a  park,  adjoined  the  garden. 

The  village  of  Bretigny  was  not  large,  but  the 
inhabitants  were  well-to-do,  and  poverty  was  un- 
known. 

The  peasants  were  strong  and  hearty,  the  wom- 
en pleasing,  the  children  fat ;  and  they  all  had  a 
cheerful  expression  which  did  one  good  to  see. 
Only  there  they  used  cider  as  the  ordinary  drink 
of  the  country  ;  wine  was  an  extra.  The  bigwigs 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK         17 

of  the  place  alone  had  cellars ;  but  that  mattered 
little  to  the  inhabitants  of  the  chateau,  where  the 
cellars  were  always  amply  replenished;  for,  like 
all  gouty  people,  the  captain  was  exceedingly  fond 
of  good  wine. 

Unfortunately,  his  gout  had  not  diminished,  per- 
haps because  of  the  great  care  M.  de  Vabeaupont 
took  to  stock  his  cellar. 

He  had  not  been  able  to  go  hunting,  and  was 
obliged  to  content  himself  with  playing  a  game  of 
dominos  with  his  cabin  boy,  to  whom  he  en- 
deavored to  impart  the  principles  of  the  game  of 
piquet,  but  who  could  not  comprehend  it  and  could 
not  get  it  into  his  head  that  quinte  and  quatorze 
made  ninety-four. 

The  captain  showed  much  obstinacy,  however, 
and  every  evening  after  dinner  he  had  a  bowl  of 
punch  made  and  placed  on  the  card  table  at  which 
he  seated  himself,  saying  to  Lundi-Gras, — 

"  Come,  sit  down  there,  opposite  me,  take  the 
cards  and  try  to  pay  attention ;  I  have  got  it  into 
my  head  that  you  shall  learn  piquet." 

"  I  ask  nothing  better,  captain." 

"Then  remember  what  I  have  told  you.  Let's 
see,  have  you  discarded  ?  " 

"  No,  captain,  I  was  waiting  for  you  to  order 
me." 

"There  is  no  need  for  me  to  order  you,  you 
ought  to  do  it.  Take  your  five  cards." 

"  There  you  are,  captain." 

Vol.  XXI 


1 8  MADAME  PANTALON 

"  Now,  how  many  cards  have  you  in  your  hand  ? " 

"  I  have  twelve,  captain." 

"  Well,  of  all  the  stupid  animals  ;  I  meant  how 
many  cards  of  your  suit  —  of  your  color,  have 
you  ?  " 

"Of  my  color  —  wait;  I  have  seven  black  and 
five  red." 

"  Why,  bless  my  portholes  !  Can't  you  distin- 
guish between  diamonds  and  hearts,  clubs  and 
spades  ?  " 

"  I  meant  to  tell  you,  captain,  but  these  ladies 
are  dressed  in  the  same  colors  and  that  mixed  me 
up." 

"  But  a  heart  doesn't  in  the  least  resemble  a 
diamond." 

"  Oh,  excuse  me,  it  was  because  I  had  a  friend 
who  used  to  make  flaming  hearts  for  his  sweetheart 
and  those  of  the  other  men,  and  he  always  made 
his  hearts  like  diamonds,  he  said  that  was  the  proper 
way." 

"Go  to  the  devil  with  your  hearts  and  diamonds! 
Let's  see,  how  many  dames  have  you  ?  " 

"  I  haven't  any,  captain,  I  have  always  made  it 
my  duty  to  take  pattern  by  you,  so  I  remained  a 
bachelor." 

"  Confound  it;  I  was  speaking  of  the  game,  how 
many  queens  have  you  ?  if  you  like  that  better." 

"  Oh,  the  queens  on  the  cards  ?  I  have  four  of 
them." 

"  Well,  that  scores  you  fourteen  more." 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK         19 

"  Fourteen — the  four  ?  Never,  captain ;  it's  just 
as  if  you  had  four  bottles  of  champagne  in  the  cel- 
lar, and  you  told  me  to  bring  up  fourteen,  it  would 
be  impossible." 

"  What  an  ass !  decidedly  I  shall  never  make 
anything  of  you." 

The  lesson  ended  thus. 

But  the  time  was  commencing  to  seem  long  when 
five  months  after  their  settling  at  Bretigny  came 
a  little  niece,  aged  ten,  who,  suddenly  bereft  of  her 
parents,  had  come  to  claim  the  protection  of  the 
captain,  her  uncle. 

This  protection  was  willingly  accorded,  and  the 
old  seaman  was  delighted  with  his  niece  when  he 
found  she  had  all  the  tastes,  all  the  likings  of  a 
boy. 

The  little  girl  immediately  evinced  a  haughty, 
independent  disposition,  and  a  will  which  nothing 
could  daunt.  When  her  uncle  begged  her  to  do 
something  which  did  not  please  her,  she  was  not 
afraid  to  answer  him, — 

"  No,  I  shan't  do  that." 

"  And  why  not,  may  I  ask,  mademoiselle  ?  " 

"  Because  I  don't  want  to." 

"  But,  triple  portholes  !  if  I  order  you  to  do  it  ? " 

"  A  thousand  portholes,  if  you  like  ;  I  shan't  do 
it  any  the  more  for  that." 

Then  the  captain  would  shout  with  laughter,  and 
give  his  niece  a  little  tap  on  the  cheek,  as  he  ex- 
claimed,— 


20  MADAME  PANTALON 

"  You  ought  not  to  wear  petticoats  ;  you  are 
worthy  to  be  a  sailor,  you  have  enough  determi- 
nation ;  that's  right,  I  like  it.  Do  as  you  please, 
learn  all  that  you  wish  to  know,  have  what  mas- 
ters suit  you,  I  give  you  free  scope.  Only,  learn 
piquet,  so  you  may  sometimes  play  with  me,  since 
that  idiot  Lundi-Gras  can't  get  it  into  his  head." 

Mademoiselle  Cesarine  had  learned  to  ride  on 
horseback,  to  handle  weapons,  to  draw  a  bow,  to 
skate,  to  swim,  to  jump  over  ditches;  and  at  twelve 
years  of  age  she  could  beat  her  uncle  at  piquet, 
draughts,  backgammon  and  chess. 

The  captain  was  foolishly  fond  of  his  niece  ;  he 
wanted  her,  at  this  early  age,  to  be  the  head  of  his 
house.  It  was  she  who  gave  the  orders  to  the  ser- 
vants ;  and  Lundi-Gras,  who  obeyed  her  as  im- 
plicitly as  he  did  his  master,  sometimes  made  a 
mistake  and  called  her  "  captain." 

But,  despite  her  love  of  gymnastics  and  horse- 
back exercise,  little  Cesarine  at  the  age  of  fifteen 
found  Bretigny  too  dull  in  the  winter,  and  wished 
to  go  and  spend  a  few  months  in  Paris.  The  cap- 
tain would  have  preferred  to  remain  constantly  at 
his  estate,  but  he  understood  that  he  could  not 
continue  to  keep  a  young  girl,  who  would  soon  be 
of  marriageable  age,  so  far  from  society. 

He  hired  a  very  handsome  apartment  in  Paris, 
where  they  installed  themselves  for  the  winter,  and 
the  captain  being  wealthy,  he  received  a  great  many 
calls  and  invitations  in  that  city. 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK        21 

Cesarine  was  fifteen  and  looked  as  if  she  were 
eighteen.  People  complimented  M.  de  Vabeau- 
pont  on  his  niece,  and  the  latter,  proud  of  the 
admiration  she  attracted  and  the  attentions  that 
were  showered  upon  her,  took  a  taste  for  society 
and  wanted  her  uncle  to  give  dinners  and  evening 
parties.  This  was  not  very  amusing  to  the  captain  ; 
but  his  niece  wished  it,  and  so  it  had  to  be. 

However,  Cesarine's  success  was  not  long  lived  ; 
people  soon  saw  that  this  damsel  had  not  a  plastic 
disposition.  At  parties,  if  they  played  some  little 
games  she  would  insist  on  those  of  her  own  choice 
and  would  not  take  part  in  any  others ;  she  was 
rather  unamiable,  and  her  answers  were  at  times 
very  impertinent. 

She  detested  dancing,  because  she  did  not  know 
how  to  dance  ;  she  did  not  like  music,  because  she 
was  unable  to  perform  on  any  musical  instrument. 
When  at  a  party  a  young  lady  sat  down  to  the 
piano,  she  soon  showed  signs  of  impatience ;  she 
tapped  her  foot  on  the  floor,  and  sometimes  said, 
loud  enough  to  be  heard,  "  Is  she  never  going  to 
finish,  I've  had  enough  of  it,"  and  other  reflections 
which  made  some  laugh  and  made  others  angry. 
For  in  society  every  one  is  allowed  to  be  mischie- 
vous, but  they  must  keep  within  bounds.  A  witty 
criticism  is  always  successful,  but  malice  without 
wit  is  ever  ill-received. 

When  Cesarine  had  been  bored  at  two  or  three 
parties,  she  said  to  her  uncle, — 


22  MADAME  PANTALON 

"  Let  us  go  back  to  Bretigny." 

This  suited  the  uncle  exactly,  and  they  left  Paris. 

But  these  little  checks  to  her  self-esteem  had 
taught  Cesarine  that  to  live  in  society  it  was  not 
enough  that  a  young  lady  should  know  how  to  use 
arms  and  sit  a  horse. 

At  all  these  entertainments  there  was  dancing, 
so  she  determined  to  learn  to  dance,  and  ended 
by  liking  it.  Then,  all  young  ladies  who  were  well 
brought  up  knew  something  of  music ;  she  bought 
a  piano  and  took  lessons  ;  but  having  no  talent  for 
that  instrument,  she  only  got  so  far  as  to  play 
"  Marlborough  "  with  one  hand,  and  renounced 
the  piano  for  the  hunting  horn,  which  she  soon 
played  so  efFectively  as  to  drive  all  the  game  out 
of  the  country. 

Then  another  idea  came  to  the  young  lady.  She 
had  sometimes  heard  men  talking  on  serious  sub- 
jects or  discussing  points  of  law.  She  took  a  fancy 
to  become  learned  in  such  matters,  to  study  Latin, 
Greek,  the  code,  in  order  that  she  could  speak  on 
any  subject  like  a  lawyer. 

For  two  years  she  assiduously  read  the  "  Gazette 
des  Tribunaux  " ;  but  it  did  not  make  her  more 
pleasing  in  society. 

When  Cesarine  was  eighteen  suitors  began  to 
present  themselves,  for  they  knew  the  damsel  would 
have  a  hundred  thousand  francs  dowry,  and  that, 
as  M.  de  Vabeaupont's  sole  heiress,  she  would 
eventually  be  very  rich. 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK        23 

But  Cesarine  showed  not  the  slightest  inclina- 
tion for  marriage,  she  was  not  at  all  in  a  hurry  to 
lose  her  liberty,  and  she  was  sustained  in  this  feel- 
ing by  two  of  her  intimate  friends,  Mesdemoiselles 
Paolina  and  Olympiade,  with  whom  she  had  be- 
come acquainted  in  society,  an  introduction  that 
was  followed  by  immediate  intimacy,  because  there 
was  great  similarity  in  their  way  of  seeing  things. 

Mademoiselle  Paolina  had  a  fine  mind.  At  ten 
years  of  age  she  had  guessed  a  charade  in  a  journal; 
and  since  that  time  her  greatest  pleasure  had  been 
to  study;  she  wrote  verses  and  little  fables,  but 
she  was  expecting  to  write  a  tragedy  ;  indeed,  this 
was  her  only  object  and  thought,  but  she  wanted 
a  virgin  subject  and  had  not  found  one  as  yet. 

As  young  men  had  often  gone  so  far  as  to  laugh 
when  they  heard  her  verses  read,  she  took  a  violent 
hatred  for  men,  who  could  not  understand  her 
poetry,  and  she  frequently  said  to  Cesarine, — 

"  Don't  marry,  my  dear ;  believe  me,  you  had 
better  not  marry.  You  have  a  fortune,  you  are 
free,  your  uncle  lets  you  be  your  own  mistress,  do 
as  you  please ;  why  should  you  give  all  that  up  ? 
For  a  woman  becomes  a  slave  when  she  marries. 
How  foolish  to  become  a  man's  slave  !  you  would 
quickly  repent  it." 

Mademoiselle  Olympiade,  a  tall  girl  with  as 
much  figure  as  a  lath,  to  whom  no  one  had  ever 
paid  court,  also  affected  a  great  disdain  for  men, 
and  was  always  making  such  speeches  as  this, — 


24  MADAME  PANTALON 

"  Good  heavens!  how  ugly  men  are.  How  can 
anyone  love  such  beings  as  those.  Three-fourths 
of  them  have  ugly  feet  and  walk  horribly,  they 
dress  in  such  a  stupid  fashion,  and  their  cropped 
hair  and  hats  like  stove  pipes  or  salad  bowls !  can 
they  want  to  be  the  masters,  forsooth  !  They  look 
as  if  they  were  protecting  us,  but  I  don't  want  their 
protection.  Don't  you  ever  marry,  dear  Cesarine  ; 
mock  at  these  gentlemen,  laugh  at  their  sighing. 
But  don't  believe  what  they  say,  for  they  all  lie." 

Cesarine,  whose  heart  was  insensitive,  was  quite 
of  the  same  opinion  as  her  two  friends,  and  refused 
all  those  who  aspired  to  her  hand.  The  old  sailor 
had  thought  this  very  droll  at  first ;  but  when  his 
niece  had  attained  the  age  of  twenty-three,  he  re- 
flected that  if  that  continued  he  should  never  live 
to  see  his  niece's  children,  which  would  deprive  him 
of  an  interest  that  would  amuse  and  occupy  his  old 
age,  and  so  he  said  one  day  to  Cesarine, — 

"  My  dear,  you  have  refused  a  good  many 
matches;  but  now  it  is  time  to  make  an  end  of  it; 
you  must  think  of  marrying." 

"  Why,  uncle,  what  necessity  is  there  of  that?" 

"  I  repeat  that  I  wish  it.  Take  your  time  to 
choose.  I  don't  ask  you  to  marry  tomorrow  ;  but 
now  you  must  study  those  who  present  themselves, 
and  when  you  have  found  a  young  man  to  your 
taste,  come  and  tell  me  at  once,  that  we  may  end 
the  matter." 

Cesarine  thus  gained  time.     However,  what  de- 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK         25 

termined  her  to  make  her  choice  was  the  fact  that 
her  two  intimate  friends,  who  had  abused  men  so 
much,  had  married. 

The  poetic  Paolina  had  married  M.  Etoile,  a 
plain  businessman;  the  cantankerous  Olympiade 
had  become  the  wife  of  M.  Bouchetrou,  a  merchant 
tailor,  and  when  Cesarine  had  evinced  her  aston- 
ishment that  they  had  consented  to  take  husbands 
Paolina  had  answered, — 

"  M.  Etoile  wept  when  he  listened  to  my 
verses." 

And  Olympiade  had  lowered  her  eyes  and  mur- 
mured,— 

"  M.  Bouchetrou  promised  to  let  me  dress  ac- 
cording to  my  fancy." 

Just  at  this  time  Adolphe  Pantalon  presented 
himself.  He  was  not  an  Apollo,  but  he  was  a  nice 
enough  fellow.  What  pleased  Cesarine  most  about 
him  was  that  he  looked  like  a  thoroughly  good 
fellow, easy-tempered,  accommodating,  and  she  no- 
ticed that  the  young  man  did  not  pay  any  forced 
compliments,  but  simply  told  her  he  should  be 
very  much  flattered  if  she  could  like  him  well 
enough  to  marry  him.  It  was  in  the  winter,  and 
they  were  consequently  in  Paris,  when  Cesarine  said 
to  the  captain, — 

"  Uncle,  I  think  I  have  at  last  found  a  man  who 
will  suit  me  and  whom  I  consent  to  marry." 

The  old  mariner  started  with  joy  in  his  easy 
chair  as  he  exclaimed, — 


26  MADAME  PANTALON 

"  By  Jove !  that's  fortunate,  and  where  is  this 
jolly  fellow  who's  going  to  be  my  nephew?" 

"  Why,  at  home,  I  think.  He  is  an  advocate, 
he  has  eight  thousand  francs  income,  and  he  is 
thirty  years  old." 

"That's  all  very  well,  so  far  as  it  goes.  Eight 
thousand  francs  income  is  little,  and  you  might 
aspire  to  a  richer  match ;  but  if  he  has  talent  he 
will  augment  his  fortune.  What  do  you  call  this 
jolly  fellow  ? " 

"  Adolphe  Pantalon.  Here  is  his  card,  which 
he  begged  me  to  give  you." 

"  Pantalon  !  what  a  queer  name.  You  will  be 
Madame  Pantalon.  With  such  a  name  as  that, 
if  you  don't  wear  the  breeches,  it  will  be  too  bad. 
But  I  am  quite  sure  you  will  wear  them.  Then, 
it  is  decided,  this  young  man  pleases  you  ? " 

"Why,  yes;  I'm  not  in  love  with  him,  of 
course." 

"Oh,  it  is  not  necessary  to  be  in  love  with  your 
husband." 

"  There's  one  thing  I  am  afraid  of." 

"What  is  that?" 

"  I  don't  think  that  this  young  man  has  much 
mind." 

"  You  can't  complain  of  that !  to  marry  a  man 
who  has  too  much  mind  is  like  playing  cards  with 
a  more  skilful  player  than  yourself;  you'd  be  sure 
to  lose  every  game.  Marry  this  Pantalon,  if  you 
think  well  of  him.  And  as  I  wish  to  make  his 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK         27 

acquaintance  I  shall  immediately  send  him  an  invi- 
tation to  dinner  for  tomorrow.  I'll  have  Lundi- 
Gras  carry  it." 

The  captain  called  his  cabin  boy,  and  said  to 
him  in  confidence, — 

"  Carry  this  letter  to  M.  Pantalon,  give  it  only 
into  his  own  hand,  and  say  you  will  wait  for  an 
answer.  While  the  young  man  is  reading  my  note, 
you  will  scan  him  closely  from  head  to  feet,  you 
understand  ?  He  wants  to  marry  my  niece,  and 
I  wish  first  to  know  if  he  is  physically  worthy ;  if 
he  is  a  well-built  fellow,  and  carries  himself  well  — 
is  hearty,  strong,  you  know  what  I  mean." 

"Yes,  captain,  I'll  pass  him  in  review." 

Lundi-Gras  went  to  carry  out  his  commission. 
Adolphe  was  in  his  study.  The  advocate's  ser- 
vant had  at  first  said  to  the  retired  cabin  boy, 
"  Give  me  your  letter,  I'll  take  it  to  my  master  and 
bring  back  the  answer  to  you." 

But  Lundi-Gras  had  answered, "  No,  it  can't  be 
done  like  that;  I  must  give  the  letter  to  your 
master  myself,  because,  while  he  is  reading  it,  I 
must  inspect  him  and  make  sure  how  he  is  built, 
that  he  isn't  knock-kneed,  that  his  shoulders  are 
broad,  that  he  is  a  strong,  hearty  fellow ;  do  you 
understand  ? " 

"  No,  I  don't ;  most  people  who  come  to  a 
lawyer's  care  little  whether  he's  ill  or  well  built. 
I'll  go  and  tell  my  master." 

"  I'll  keep  the  letter,  I'll  give  it  only  to  him." 


28  MADAME  PANTALON 

The  servant  went  and  told  the  young  advocate, — 

" There's  a  man  with  a  letter,  monsieur,  but  he 
wants  to  inspect  you  while  you  read  it." 

"  Well,  have  him  come  in." 

"  Perhaps  it's  a  robber  who  wants  to  examine 
monsieur's  study." 

"  Robbers  don't  come  to  lawyers'  houses,  the 
latter  are  their  defenders.  Let  the  man  come  in." 

Lundi-Gras  was  introduced  at  length ;  he  gave  up 
the  letter  and  examined  Pantalon  closely  while  the 
latter  was  mastering  its  contents.  Then  he  went 
off  very  much  pleased  at  what  he  had  seen.  He 
now  returned  to  M.  de  Vabeaupont,  having  been 
absent  for  an  hour. 

"  Captain,"  said  he,  "the  gentleman,  the  panta- 
loon, accepts  the  invitation  with  much  pleasure,  he 
thanks  you,  sends  his  compliments,  and  gave  me 
this  little  gold  piece  to  get  something  to  drink." 

"That's  very  well.  But  what  else — you  know 
what  I  begged  you  to  do,  what  did  you  notice 
about  the  young  man's  person?" 

"  I  was  highly  satisfied  with  him,  captain  !  he 
had  a  velvet  waistcoat  and  varnished  boots;  as  for 
the  rest,  he's  all  right,  he's  solid,  his  legs  are  not 
bowed,  in  fact  he's  a  proper  man  and  would  have 
made  a  good  sailor." 


CHAPTER  II 

THE  WEDDING  DINNER.     THE  BALL 

CAPTAIN  DE  VABEAUPONT  evidently  found  that 
Adolphe  Pantalon  was  worthy  to  espouse  his 
niece,  for  three  weeks  after  the  invitation  carried 
by  Lundi-Gras  they  celebrated  the  marriage  of 
Cesarine  with  the  young  advocate.  The  wedding 
festivities  were  held  at  Bonvalet's,  formerly  the 
Cafe  Turc,  and  a  great  many  people  were  invited. 
In  the  first  place  the  bride,  being  free  to  do  as 
she  pleased,  had  bidden  all  her  intimate  friends  as 
also  several  dames  and  damsels  for  whom  she 
had  a  degree  of  liking  merely  because  they  were 
always  of  the  same  opinion  as  herself. 

As  a  matter  of  course,  Madame  £toile  and  her 
husband  were  of  the  party.  The  poetic  Paolina's 
husband  was  a  man  of  forty  with  a  cold  expression, 
a  man  who  spoke  little  and  thought  of  nothing  but 
money-making.  Paolina  believed  that  he  had 
wept  on  hearing  one  of  her  elegies,  but  the  young 
ladies  asserted,  indeed,  insisted  upon  it,  that  the 
gentleman  had  had  a  dreadful  cold  in  his  head, 
and  was  obliged  to  continually  make  use  of  his 
handkerchief. 

The  reedy  Olympiade  was  there  with  her  spouse, 


30  MADAME  PANTALON 

—  Joseph  Bouchetrou,  a  little  man,  still  young, 
but  pitted  with  smallpox,  like  a  colander ;  which 
did  not  prevent  his  constantly  smiling  and  show- 
ing himself  very  eager  to  be  agreeable  in  society, 
always  ready  to  do  anything  people  wished,  and  to 
render  the  ladies  a  thousand  little  services  ;  he  was 
the  first  to  push  a  cushion  under  their  feet,  or  to 
help  them  off  with  their  cloaks. 

"  But  why  did  you  marry  such  a  pock-marked 
man  as  that  ? "  said  Cesarine  to  her  friend. 

"  That  was  really  the  cause  of  my  preference, 
my  dearest;  pock-marked  men  have  become  so 
rare  since  the  invention  of  vaccine,  that  those  who 
are  so  have  a  very  distinguished  look,  which  pre- 
vents their  being  confounded  with  common  faces. 
If  this  keeps  on  I  am  sure,  in  a  few  years,  pock- 
marked men  will  be  of  priceless  value." 

M.  Bouchetrou's  claim  to  distinction  did  not 
rest  alone  on  the  merits  of  his  pitted  visage,  for  his 
wife,  desiring  that  he  should  dress  according  to  her 
taste,  made  him  wear  constantly  a  silly  little  cloak 
similar  to  that  worn  by  jesters,  and  in  addition  to 
this,  the  little  man  wore  his  hair  dressed  "  a  la  Buri- 
dan."  When  this  gentleman  went  out,  it  was  no 
unusual  thing  to  see  the  street  boys  following  after 
him,  as  they  would  after  a  mask. 

Later  came  Monsieur  and  Madame  Vespuce. 
Zenobie,  M.  Vespuce's  wife,  was  a  little  woman  of 
twenty-eight,  who  had  been  pretty,  but  whose 
beauty  had  already  fled  owing  to  illness  and  im- 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK        31 

prudences,  such  as  passing  the  nights  in  dancing, 
and  in  going  continually  to  balls  and  parties ;  she 
turned  a  deaf  ear  to  her  husband  when  he  advised 
her  to  be  more  careful,  and  to  spare  her  health. 
Tired  of  giving  advice  that  was  not  listened  to, 
M.  Vespuce  did  not  discover  America,  but  he  had 
discovered  a  little  shirtmaker  who  asked  nothing 
better  than  to  listen  to  him  ;  so  M.  Vespuce  al- 
lowed his  wife  to  go  to  balls,  parties,  and  fetes, 
while  he  ran,  incognito,  after  his  shirtmaker,  who 
had  no  desire  for  dancing. 

Thus  does  love  of  pleasure  often  lose  a  woman 
her  husband's  love.  You  say  that  she  could  easily 
lose  it  without  that  —  perhaps,  no  one  knows. 

Madame  Vespuce,  who  was  also  beginning  to 
weary  of  love  affairs,  had  for  some  time  past  thrown 
herself  into  romanticism  ;  she  read  all  Anne  Rad- 
cliffe's  old  works ;  she  affected  to  believe  in  spirits, 
in  ghosts  and  in  spiritualism  ;  she  wanted  to  be 
bewitched. 

Following  the  Vespuce  household  came  Mon- 
sieur and  Madame  Grassouillet.  Amandine  Gras- 
souillet  was  a  young  woman  of  twenty-four,  pretty 
and  well-made.  Her  smile  was  gracious,  her  eyes 
lively  or  languorous  according  to  circumstances ; 
this  lady  knew  that  in  order  to  please  one  must 
not  always  be  the  same,  and  as  she  was  very  desir- 
ous of  pleasing,  she  was  quite  coquettish.  This  did 
not  always  suit  her  husband,  who  was  jealous,  and 
sometimes  made  scenes  with  his  wife ;  but  the  latter 


32  MADAME  PANTALON 

seemed  to  pay  no  attention  to  him,  and  still  con- 
tinued to  ogle  and  flirt.  This  frequently  caused 
M.  Grassouillet  to  wear  an  ill-tempered  expression, 
and  as  in  addition  to  that  he  was  very  ugly,  all  the 
men  thought  themselves  justified  in  paying  court 
to  his  wife,  never  for  a  moment  supposing  she 
could  feel  any  love  for  so  disagreeable  a  husband. 

Later  came  Armide  Dutonneau,  a  beautiful 
woman  who  had  passed  her  thirtieth  year,  but  who 
had  sworn  to  herself  that  she  never  would  be  more 
than  thirty-three.  She  was  a  rather  masculine 
beauty,  rather  common,  and  her  complexion  was 
getting  pimply  and  her  nose  a  trifle  red. 

Armide's  husband  was  a  jolly  fellow,  worthy  of 
serving  as  her  squire.  He  was  almost  six  feet  in 
height,  plump,  but  not  fat ;  his  face  was  agreeable 
and  expressed  the  good-humor  which  made  the 
bulk  of  his  disposition  ;  this  gentleman  was  always 
laughing,  even  when  his  wife  scolded,  for  they  were 
exactly  opposite  to  the  Grassouillets ;  it  was  ma- 
dame  who  was  jealous  and  monsieur  who  flirted. 

Armide  thought  it  very  dreadful  that  Chou- 
chou,  that  was  her  husband's  pet  name,  should  be 
amiable  and  gallant  with  other  women  besides  her- 
self. She  wanted  to  hang  on  her  Chou-chou's  arm 
continually.  But  for  some  time  past  the  latter  had 
been  fluttering  about,  and  always  finding  some  rea- 
sons for  not  being  at  liberty  when  madame  wanted 
him  to  take  her  out  walking.  Then  Armide  said, 
very  decidedly,  that  men  were  no  great  things. 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK        33 

M.  Dutonneau  kept  on  laughing  when  his  wife 
made  him  a  jealous  scene ;  often,  too,  he  took 
that  opportunity  to  seize  his  hat  and  go  to  walk 
about  the  squares,  those  new  places  embellished 
with  trees  and  a  verdure  that  one  is  quite  surprised 
to  find  in  the  midst  of  Paris,  and  which  are  very 
restful  after  the  dirty  streets  and  the  confusion  of 
the  traffic;  handsome  Dutonneau  had  a  passion 
for  these  squares,  there  he  always  went  to  walk, 
and  there  he  ogled  the  pretty,  saucy  little  faces  — 
for  it  must  be  confessed  that  he  did  so.  Chou- 
chou  gave  the  preference  to  these  oases  because  he 
was  certain  of  always  meeting  there  some  more  or 
less  pleasing  little  women  ;  the  young  nurses  in 
particular  come  there  in  great  numbers  to  walk 
their  little  charges ;  and  Chou-chou,  who  was  not 
proud,  did  not  object  to  cast  a  glance  at  a  pleasing 
young  person  in  a  white  apron  and  a  simple  linen 
cap,  and  murmured  to  himself, — 

In  love,  as  in  nature, 
Distinctions  are  unknown. 

To  all  the  ladies  mentioned  above,  I  must  add 
a  widow,  Madame  Flambart,  who  at  forty  years  of 
age  had  buried  three  husbands.  This  was  a  tall 
woman,  who  would  have  been  very  good-looking 
but  that  her  features  strongly  indicated  a  lack  of 
gentleness  and  affability  ;  her  dark  eyes  were  fine, 
but  her  glance  was  hard  and  mocking  ;  her  voice 
was  strong,  almost  a  baritone,  and  when  she  laughed 

Vol.  XXI 


34  MADAME  PANTALON 

one  heard  not  accents  of  frank  gayety,  but  some- 
thing like  a  fit  of  hollow  coughing. 

You  are  surprised,  perhaps,  that  Cesarine  counted 
among  her  friends  a  person  whose  age  was  so  far 
above  her  own ;  but  the  Widow  Flambart,  who 
had  most  elegant  gowns,  had  greatly  admired  Cesa- 
rine's  dress  and  her  rather  proud  carriage  ;  she 
had  paid  the  younger  woman  compliments  on  the 
good  taste  she  displayed  in  her  dress,  and  also  on 
her  deportment ;  then  she  had  several  times  gone 
into  ecstasies  on  hearing  the  captain's  niece  quote 
from  some  Latin  author.  Where  is  the  woman 
who  cannot  be  won  by  flattery  ?  Everybody  knows 
La  Fontaine's  fables  by  heart ;  but  nobody  can 
improve  upon  them. 

To  all  the  individuals  I  have  mentioned,  add 
some  of  the  captain's  old  friends  with  their  wives 
and  children,  big  and  little  ;  these  were  of  the 
bride's  company.  The  bridegroom  had  far  fewer 
people  there. 

Adolphe  Pantalon  had,  in  fact,  no  relations  be- 
side his  sister,  except  a  very  deaf  old  aunt,  some 
cousins  and  their  wives,  a  dozen  persons  in  all ; 
but  as  there  were  three  times  as  many  on  the  bride's 
side,  it  made  a  very  large  table. 

We  must  not  forget  one  from  whom  the  captain 
would  never  consent  to  be  separated.  Lundi-Gras 
was  at  the  dinner,  not  at  table,  it  is  true ;  but 
placed  behind  M.  de  Vabeaupont's  chair,  where  he 
was  to  remain  to  wait  upon  him.  In  vain  had  the 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK        35 

master  of  the  establishment  assured  the  captain 
that  he  would  have  a  sufficient  number  of  waiters 
to  serve  every  one  at  the  table  promptly.  The 
old  seaman  would  not  discuss  it,  he  merely  said, — 

"  I  want  my  cabin  boy  behind  me ;  if  I  can't 
have  him,  I'll  have  the  wedding  somewhere  else." 

And  very  naturally  they  had  answered,  "  Now 
we  know  it  will  be  agreeable  to  you,  captain,  you 
shall  have  your  cabin  boy  behind  you." 

At  five  o'clock  precisely  every  one  was  at  the 
table,  and  Lundi-Gras  stood  behind  the  captain's 
chair,  where  he  obstructed  the  waiters,  because  his 
exceedingly  rotund  person  took  up  so  much  room  ; 
and  every  moment  he  was  pushed  and  jostled  by 
the  waiters,  who  were  annoyed  at  seeing  this  little 
wrinkled  man  in  sailor's  clothing ;  who  looked  so 
stupidly  at  them,  but  did  not  budge  from  the  place 
assigned  him  and  who  smiled  when  the  waiters  con- 
trived to  poke  him  with  their  elbows. 

"  Go  your  own  gait,"  said  he,  "  poke  me  as 
much  as  you  please  ;  I  am  solid  and  I  won't  stir 
from  my  post." 

M.  de  Vabeaupont  had  the  bride  on  his  right, 
and  on  his  left  Adolphe's  sister  Elvina,  who  was 
going  on  for  seventeen  and  had  just  left  boarding- 
school.  She  was  a  charming  child,  with  a  pretty, 
amiable,  cheerful  face ;  her  great  blue  eyes  indi- 
cated a  leaning  toward  roguishness,  but  as  yet  she 
was  so  timid  and  awkward  in  company  that  she 
hardly  dared  to  pronounce  a  word  and  answered 


36  MADAME  PANTALON 

the  captain  in  monosyllables  only,  when  he  tried 
to  make  her  talk,  as  he  did  continually. 

"  Come,  my  second  niece,  for  you  are  my  sec- 
ond niece  now,  you  must  talk  a  little  —  unbridle 
your  tongue.  Are  you  glad  your  brother  is  mar- 
ried ? " 

"  Oh,  yes,  monsieur." 

"  You  mustn't  call  me  monsieur,  you  must  call 
me  uncle." 

"  With  pleasure,  uncle." 

"Very  good !  you  must  pledge  me — drink  some 
madeira  with  me." 

"  Oh,  no,  monsieur." 

"  By  Jove  !  call  me  uncle." 

"Ah,  true  —  excuse  me,  uncle." 

"  Lundi-Gras,  pour  some  madeira  for  my  new 
niece." 

"  But  I  don't  wish  for  any,  uncle." 

"Just  a  little  —  to  touch  glasses  with  me." 

Lundi-Gras  looked  at  the  captain  with  a  stupe- 
fied expression,  and  muttered, — 

"  I  have  no  madeira,  captain." 

"  Ask  for  some,  idiot !  people  have  everything 
they  wish  here ;  they  have  but  to  call  for  it." 

Lundi-Gras  addressed  one  of  the  waiters  who 
passed  near  him, — 

"  Comrade,  I  should  like  some  madeira." 

"  Comrade!  do  you  take  me  for  your  comrade  ? 
you  silly  old  gudgeon !  Go  down  into  the  kitchen ; 
don't  you  see  you  are  in  the  way  here  ? " 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK        37 

"I  asked  you  for  some  madeira  for  my  captain." 

But  the  waiter  went  off  without  answering  him. 
Lundi-Gras  addressed  another,  who,  more  polite 
than  the  first,  said  to  him, — 

"  Go  to  the  office,  they  will  give  it  to  you  —  ask 
for  the  cellarman." 

"Where  is  the  cellar?" 

"  Go  and  ask  that  gentleman  in  black,  down 
there." 

The  former  cabin  boy  decided  to  leave  his  place 
and  run  after  the  person  pointed  out  to  him,  who 
had  just  left  the  room.  However,  the  captain, 
impatient  at  not  being  served,  called  out,  without 
turning  round, — 

"  Well,  Lundi-Gras,  where's  the  madeira  ?  " 

Nobody  answered,  and  the  old  seaman  turned 
round. 

"  Where's  my  cabin  boy  ?  Waiter  !  waiter  ! 
where  is  my  cabin  boy  ?  " 

"  Cabin  boy?  what  is  that  ?  " 

"  Oh,  there  you  are !  Lundi-Gras,  where  is 
Lundi-Gras  ?  answer  me." 

The  waiter  to  whom  the  captain  spoke  opened 
his  eyes  wide,  reflected  a  moment,  then, — 

"Jingo,  monsieur!"  he  said,  "Lundi-Gras 
usually  comes  after  Shrove  Sunday  —  at  least,  un- 
less they've  changed  all  that." 

"  Thousand  portholes !  I  believe  the  rascal's 
making  game  of  me." 

The  captain,  who  was  furious,  had  already  half 


38  MADAME  PANTALON 

risen,  and  Cesarine  had  to  interfere  to  quiet  her 
uncle  and  make  him  understand  that  the  waiter 
had  no  intention  of  making  fun  of  him.  Lundi- 
Gras  at  length  reappeared  with  a  bottle  of  madeira. 

"  Why  did  you  leave  your  post  ?"  asked  his 
master. 

"  To  get  some  madeira." 

"You  should  have  made  them  bring  some  here." 

"  I  did  ask  them  to,  and  finely  they  listened  to 
me ;  they  called  me  an  old  gudgeon." 

"  Flog  them,  and  take  the  bottle  out  of  their 
hands." 

"That's  enough,  captain,  at  the  first  oppor- 
tunity, I'll  jump  on  them." 

But  Elvina  refused  to  drink  any  madeira,  and 
the  captain  turned  to  the  bridegroom, — 

"  Pantalon,"  said  he,  "  why  won't  your  sister 
drink  madeira  ? " 

"  She's  not  used  to  drinking  wine  neat,  she  is 
afraid  it  will  make  her  ill ;  that  it  may  stupefy  her, 
in  fact." 

"  Come,  I  see  her  education  is  incomplete,  hap- 
pily, your  wife  will  have  charge  of  it,  the  little  sister 
will  be  in  good  hands." 

The  greater  part  of  the  ladies  present  did  not 
share  little  Elvina's  fears,  and  were  quite  willing 
to  accept  madeira. 

The  Widow  Flambart  returned  to  the  subject. 

"  A  woman  shouldn't  be  afraid  to  touch  glasses 
with  men,"  said  she.  "  They  call  us  the  weaker 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK        39 

sex,  but  it  is  because  we  have  been  willing  they 
should  do  so;  we  have  quite  as  much  capability  as 
these  gentlemen ;  only,  we  are  wrong  in  that  we 
do  not  make  use  of  it." 

"  Bravo  !  "  said  the  captain.  "  Pour  me  some 
bordeaux  on  the  strength  of  that,  cabin  boy." 

Lundi-Gras,  who  still  held  his  bottle  of  madeira, 
placed  it  on  the  ground  as  he  spied  a  waiter  who 
was  passing  with  two  bottles  which  he  was  about 
to  serve  to  the  guests,  jumped  on  the  man,  and 
snatched  one  of  the  bottles  from  his  hand,  the 
waiter  holding,  as  he  did,  a  bottle  in  his  other 
hand  could  not  defend  the  one  taken  from  him, 
and  contented  himself  with  saying, — 

"You  shall  pay  me  for  that,  old  sailorman." 

Lundi-Gras  came  back  quite  proud,  and  poured 
out  some  wine  for  the  captain,  who,  after  sipping 
it,  said, — 

"  You  are  an  ass !  this  never  came  from  Bor- 
deaux, it's  chambertin." 

"  Really,  captain !  then  another  time  I  shall  taste 
it.  Must  I  look  for  some  bordeaux  ? " 

"  No,  this  chambertin  is  good,  I  shall  stick  to 
this." 

The  guests  found  the  wines  good,  and  did  them 
honor;  the  weaker  sex  even,  led  by  the  example 
of  the  Widow  Flambart,  became  delightfully  merry ; 
the  men  allowed  themselves  some  of  those  jokes 
which  fools  think  should  be  made  to  the  newly 
married  couple  at  a  wedding  feast. 


4o  MADAME  PANTALON 

They  talked  from  one  end  of  the  table  to  the 
other,  everybody  speaking  at  once;  the  captain,  in 
the  excess  of  his  satisfaction,  thumped  his  fist  on 
the  table  and  shouted, — 

"  Good  enough  !  a  general  hubbub ;  now,  they're 
beginning  to  chatter.  The  husband  is  the  only 
one  who  seems  to  be  silent.  Come,  Pantalon,  you 
are  saying  nothing.  You  must  not  let  love  deprive 
you  of  speech.  One  must  forget  love  while  at 
table.  Sing  us  a  little  song.  Here's  the  dessert 
now,  and  it's  the  right  time  for  a  song !  " 

"  Why,  uncle,"  said  Cesarine,  "  nobody  sings 
at  weddings  now.  Fie,  it  is  bad  form  ;  we  leave 
that  to  working  people." 

"  My  dear  niece,  that  proves  that  working  peo- 
ple amuse  themselves  better  than  we  do,  and  I 
think  theirs  is  good  form  and  ours  bad;  so  I'm 
for  a  song.  Well,  Pantalon,  what  do  you  say  ?  " 

"  Captain,  I  am  sorry  to  refuse  you,  but  I  have 
never  been  able  to  sing." 

"  Pardon,  captain,"  said  Madame  fitoile,  half 
rising  to  obtain  more  attention,  "  but  if  you  will 
allow  me,  I  have  written  some  verses  on  the  occa- 
sion of  my  friend  Cesarine's  marriage,  and  I  am 
quite  ready  to  recite  them  to  you." 

"  Very  well,  fair  lady ;  recite  your  verses  ;  that 
won't  prevent  our  singing  afterwards.  Cabin  boy, 
pour  me  some  chambertin." 

Lundi-Gras,  when  his  master  was  not  noticing 
him,  had  turned  and  drunk  directly  out  of  the 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK        41 

bottle  of  madeira.  But  this  time  the  captain  had 
turned  his  head  and  caught  his  cabin  boy,  who  had 
the  neck  of  the  bottle  in  his  mouth.  He  pinched 
him  hard. 

"  What  are  you  doing  there,  rascal  ?  " 

"  Excuse  me,  captain,  I  was  just  tasting  to  know 
if  that  was  the  wine  you  wanted,"  answered  Lundi- 
Gras. 

"  And  you  were  drinking  directly  out  of  the 
bottle." 

"  Captain,  I  guessed  it  was  the  madeira,  which 
you  won't  want  again." 

"We  shall  have  a  famous  score  to  settle  between 
us,  Master  Lundi-Gras  !  " 

"  Just  as  it  pleases  you,  captain,"  answered  that 
worthy. 

"  In  the  meantime,  pour  me  out  some  chamber- 
tin,"  said  the  captain. 

The  unlucky  Lundi-Gras  immediately  proceeded 
in  search  of  the  other  bottle,  which  he  had  carefully 
hidden  in  a  snug  corner.  He  uncorked  it  and 
began  to  pour  some  into  the  glass  which  the  cap- 
tain was  holding  out  to  him ;  but  the  waiter  from 
whom  he  had  so  rudely  snatched  the  bottle  of 
chambertin  had  been  watching  for  some  moments 
for  a  chance  to  revenge  himself  on  the  former 
cabin  boy.  When  he  saw  Lundi-Gras  in  the  act 
of  pouring  for  his  master,  he  went  softly  up  behind 
the  old  tar,  gave  him  a  vigorous  kick  in  the  rear 
and  immediately  disappeared. 


42  MADAME  PANTALON 

The  kick  had  been  so  well  applied  that  Lundi- 
Gras  was  thrown  forward  and  in  this  sudden  move- 
ment he  had  struck  with  his  bottle,  and  broken, 
the  glass  which  the  captain  was  holding  to  him. 
The  wine  spread  over  the  table  and  Elvina  and  the 
old  seaman  were  splashed  by  it.  The  latter  was 
furious,  he  seized  his  plate  and  broke  it  over  his 
cabin  boy's  head,  shouting,  — 

"  Get  out  of  here !  Get  out  of  here,  you  pirate ! 
don't  come  near  me  again,  or  I'll  scuttle  you." 

Lundi-Gras  took  it  all  quietly,  and  departed 
rubbing  his  head  and  his  back,  and  saying, — 

"  When  you  want  anything,  you  can  call  me." 

They  managed,  not  without  trouble,  to  quiet  the 
captain,  and  Madame  Etoile,  who  was  waiting  im- 
patiently to  read  her  verses,  rose  again,  saying, — 

"  Quiet  being  restored  and  the  storm  past, 
Poetry  can  dare  to  show  herself;  I  will  begin :  To 
you,  beautiful  bride  !  — 

You  are  standing  on  the  border 

'Twixt  love  and  wedded  bliss  ; 
And  for  your  household's  order 

It  may  not  come  amiss  : 
To  let  no  other  share  your  sway  ; 
Be  just  and  firm  in  all  you  say  ; 
And  should  your  husband  rave  and  swear, 
Or  act,  perchance,  the  sullen  bear, — 
Believe  me,  that,  to  brave  the  storm, 
You'd  better  act  in  manly  form  !  " 

Madame  fitoile  stopped  and  sat  down  again  to 
take  breath.  Applause  followed,  particularly  from 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK        43 

the  ladies ;  but  Chou-chou  Dutonneau  ventured 
to  say, — 

"  I  don't  much  like  that  about  husbands  turn- 
ing to  bears." 

"  Why  not,  monsieur  ?  Why  it  is  very  true  to 
nature,"  said  pretty  Madame  Grassouillet,  laugh- 
ing, "one  very  often  sees  a  husband  who  has  turned 
to  a  bear !  " 

"  Amandine,  it  seems  to  me  that  your  remark 
is  very  untimely,"  said  M.  Grassouillet  in  a  low 
tone ;  "as  for  me,  I  am  of  M.  Dutonneau's  opinion, 
I  think  it  rather  ungracious  of  this  lady  to  say  in 
her  verses  that  we  turn  to  bears ;  it  seems  to  me 
she  might  have  found  numerous  comparisons  which 
would  be  more  just  and  less  brutal." 

"  Really,  my  dear,  you  are  right ;  she  might  have 
said  turn  to  a  canary." 

"  I  like  your  canary  no  better." 

"  But  what  would  you  like  then  ?  would  you 
liked  to  be  compared  to  an  owl  ? " 

"  That  will  do,  madame,  please ;  but  I  know 
a  bird  to  which  she  might  have  compared  us." 

"  If  you  know  it,  tell  us  then,  at  once." 

"  No,  it  is  one  of  the  things  one  keeps  to  one's 
self." 

The  captain,  who  had  not  been  highly  enter- 
tained by  Madame  fitoile's  verses,  exclaimed, — 

"Now, we  are  going  to  sing  a  cheerful  tol-de-rol- 
lol,  a  comic  song." 

"  Pardon  me,  captain,  but  I  have  not  finished," 


44  MADAME  PANTALON 

said  Paolina  hastily  ;  "  you  have  heard  only  the 
opening  lines  of  my  verses  ;  now  I  shall  treat  of 
marriage  in  all  its  aspects,  and  in  Alexandrine 
metre." 

The  poetical  Paolina  rose  again,  and  on  this 
occasion  accompanied  her  declamation  with  ges- 
tures. 

Who  thus  imagined  first,  upon  the  earth, 
T" enchain  for  aye  the  sex  that's  made  to  please  ? 
Go  back,  I  say,  to  Noah,  back  to  Cain  ; 
Back  further  still, 

"  No,  no !  go  back  no  further,"  cried  the  cap- 
tain striking  the  table.  "  Pardon,  my  dear  lady,  if 
I  interrupt  you,  but  I  must  confess  to  you  that 
when  I  hear  verses  recited  it  puts  me  to  sleep 
immediately ;  we  old  sea  dogs  know  nothing  of 
poetry.  Will  you  not,  therefore,  keep  your  verse 
until  supper-time,  when  I  shall  not  be  present, 
and  let  us  now  sing  a  cheerful  refrain  ?  Since  these 
gentlemen  won't  sing,  I  am  going  to  begin  myself 
and  I  will  give  you, — 

It  was  in  the  town  of  Bordeaux." 

"  We,  ladies,  will  leave  these  gentlemen  to  their 
singing,"  said  Cesarine  rising.  "  It  is  time,  it  seems 
to  me,  that  we  go  and  change  our  toilets  for  the 
ball." 

"  Yes,  yes,  it  is  more  than  time,"  answered 
Madame  Dutonneau  rising  also,  "  for  I  am  very 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK        45 

suspicious  as  to  the  character  of  these  gentlemen's 
songs." 

Madame  Etoile  said  nothing,  but  she  darted  a 
disdainful  glance  at  the  men,  while  the  Widow 
Flambart  cried, — 

"  These  gentlemen  are  delighted  to  see  us  go, 
they  will  be  free  to  smoke,  and  now  women  are 
abandoned  for  cigars." 

"  How  horrid  !  "  exclaimed  Madame  Vespuce. 

"  Fortunately  we  all  have  our  own  little  way  of 
revenging  ourselves,"  murmured  Madame  Gras- 
souillet. 

And  the  ladies  disappeared  just  as  M.  de  Va- 
beaupont  began  his  song. 

The  ladies  once  gone,  it  was  who  should  sing 
after  the  captain,  for  all  these  gentlemen  knew  some 
songs,  but  they  were  a  little  too  broad  to  be  sung 
before  ladies. 

They  remained  at  table  a  long  time,  and  it  was 
nearly  nine  o'clock  when  they  decided  to  leave  it 
and  repair  to  a  drawing-room  where  card  tables 
were  set  out. 

When  the  captain  got  up,  he  was  by  no  means 
tipsy,  because  he  habitually  drank  deep,  but  his 
legs  were  rather  shaky  ;  he  called  Lundi-Gras,  who 
on  this  occasion  did  not  respond. 

"Where  the  devil  is  my  cabin  boy?"  cried  the 
captain.  "  What  have  they  done  with  him  ?  I 
must  have  him,  I  want  him.  Nephew  Pantalon, 
go,  if  you  please,  and  inquire  about  my  cabin  boy." 


46  MADAME  PANTALON 

The  bridegroom  hastened  to  obey  his  wife's  uncle. 

He  returned  in  a  short  time  and  said  to  the  cap- 
tain,— 

"  My  dear  uncle,  Lundi-Gras  is  not  in  a  fit  state 
to  present  himself  before  you.  He  is  so  tipsy  he 
cannot  stand,  and  is  asleep  in  a  private  room  where 
he  has  eaten  and  drunk  for  four.  I  assure  you 
they  have  taken  good  care  of  him." 

"  Then  lead  me  to  this  room.  I'll  go  and  talk 
to  the  rascal !  " 

"  Why,  captain,  as  he's  asleep  — " 

"  Be  easy,  I  know  how  to  awaken  him."  And 
the  captain  took  Adolphe's  arm  and  leaned  on  him, 
saying, — 

"You  are  solid,  but  you  are  too  tall;  I'm  so 
used  to  supporting  myself  on  that  ruffian  of  a 
Lundi-Gras,  who  serves  as  my  cane ;  well,  I  walk 
badly  when  I  have  not  my  cabin  boy  under  my 
hand." 

They  reached  the  room  in  which  Lundi-Gras 
was  snoring,  stretched  out  on  a  sofa.  The  captain 
looked  at  his  cabin  boy,  gave  him  a  punch  in  the 
side,  and  seeing  that  that  did  not  waken  him,  said 
to  the  bridegroom, — 

"  Ask  one  of  the  waiters  to  bring  a  bucket  of 
water." 

"  A  bucket,  captain,  is  not  a  glass  enough  ?  " 

"  A  glass  !  for  a  man  who  has  passed  his  life  on 
the  sea !  Tell  them  to  bring  you  a  bucket  quite 
full." 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK        47 

Adolphe  obeyed.  The  bucket  of  water  was 
brought  by  the  waiter  from  whom  Lundi-Gras  had 
snatched  the  bottle  of  chambertin,  and  when  the 
captain  said, — 

"  Throw  all  that  water  in  my  cabin  boy's  face," 
the  waiter  very  skilfully  executed  the  order,  so  that 
not  a  drop  was  wasted  so  far  as  Lundi-Gras  was 
concerned.  The  expedient  was  successful ;  the 
cabin  boy  opened  his  eyes,  saw  his  master  before 
him,  and  sputtered, — 

"  Here  I  am  !  What  wine  do  you  want,  cap- 
tain ?  " 

"  Look  you  !  the  rascal  thinks  of  nothing  but 
drinking.  Come,  be  quick  and  get  sober,  that  you 
may  serve  as  my  cane." 

The  captain  then  went  off  with  Adolphe,  to 
whom  he  said, — 

"  I  must  pardon  this  boozer,  because  he  wished 
to  celebrate  our  wedding  too,  and  because  I  can't 
do  without  him." 

At  half-past  nine  all  the  ladies  reappeared  in 
ball  dress,  which  did  not  make  the  ugly  ones  pretty, 
but  which  lent  distinction  and  elegance  to  the  ball. 
Cesarine  looked  very  beautiful.  She  wore  her 
bridal  costume  as  a  queen  wearing  her  crown. 
If  virginal  timidity  did  not  heighten  her  personal 
charms,  her  noble  bearing  forced  everyone  to  ad- 
mire her. 

At  eleven  o'clock  came  the  persons  who  had 
been  invited  to  the  ball  only.  The  gathering  then 


48  MADAME  PANTALON 

became  very  numerous,  and  the  scene  very  ani- 
mated, and  the  gentlemen  had  a  choice  of  pretty 
partners. 

The  captain  walked  about  the  ballroom  leaning 
on  his  cabin  boy,  who  was  sobered  by  this  time, 
and  thought  he  ought  to  smile  at  everybody  who 
looked  at  him.  The  captain  was  in  the  best  of 
humors;  he  often  spoke  to  the  ladies,  advised  them 
to  dance  all  they  could,  and  to  make  good  use  of 
their  night. 

Then  Lundi-Gras  murmured  in  the  captain's 
ear, — 

"  If  you  like,  I  am  quite  willing  to  dance  my- 
self." 

M.deVabeaupont  contented  himself  with  shrug- 
ging his  shoulders  and  leaning  harder  on  his  living 
walking-stick. 

"  Hold  your  tongue,  you  big  bamboo,"  he 
growled.  "  Wait,  Lundi-Gras,  you  see  all  these 
little  women  here  dancing  so  genteelly,  they  take 
tiny  steps,  they  droop  their  heads  modestly,  they 
are  very  prettily  shod ;  the  men,  I  must  confess, 
are  not  bad  either,  if  many  of  them  did  not  look 
as  if  they  were  walking  and  not  taking  the  trouble 
to  dance.  But  all  that  is  nothing  to  the  dances 
I  have  seen  in  Africa.  Oh,  those  were  lively,  I  can 
tell  you ;  you  should  have  seen  the  women  leap 
and  gambol  and  twist  themselves,  their  hair  float- 
ing on  their  shoulders,  and  uttering  shrill  cries  all 
the  time.  The  men  were  still  worse;  they  contorted 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK        49 

themselves  frightfully,  often  they  took  the  women 
by  the  waist  and  threw  them  haphazard  over  their 
shoulders ;  they  fell  on  their  backs  or  their  faces, 
no  matter  which,  and  no  one  paid  any  attention  to 
those  who  could  not  get  up  again;  it  was  magnifi- 
cent." 

"  And  what  sort  of  people  were  these  dancers  ? " 

"  Thousand  portholes  !  why,  they  were  negroes 
and  negresses ! " 

"  Oh,  yes,  you  told  me  as  much.  If  they  danced 
like  that  here  it  would  be  quite  risky." 

"  Indeed  you  are  quite  right,  Lundi-Gras,  it 
would  soon  spoil  these  ladies'  pretty  ball  dresses." 

The  bride  opened  the  ball  with  her  husband  ; 
after  which  she  said  to  him, — 

"  We  will  not  dance  together  again  to-night." 

"  What !  not  even  once  ?  " 

"  Impossible,  I  have  too  many  invitations.  And 
how  about  yourself,  monsieur  ?  " 

"Oh, call  me  Adolphe;  don't  call  me  monsieur." 

"  We  have  plenty  of  time  to  call  each  other  pet 
names.  But  you,  my  dear  —  " 

"  That's  preferable  ;  I  like  my  dear  much  better 
than  monsieur." 

"  Are  you  going  to  interrupt  me  like  this  when- 
ever I  wish  to  say  something  to  you  ? " 

"  No,  I  won't  do  it  again,  dearest." 

"  Here,  take  these  tablets,  I  have  written  on 
them  the  names  of  all  the  ladies  whom  you  must 
ask  to  dance." 


Vol.  XXI 


5° 


MADAME  PANTALON 


"  Good  heavens  !  what  a  quantity  of  names  ;  do 
you  want  me  to  dance  with  all  those  ? " 

"  Well,  didn't  you  expect  to  dance  ?  The  bride- 
groom, that  would  be  pretty  —  " 

"  I  don't  go  so  far  as  that,  but  I  don't  see  the 
necessity  of  wearing  myself  all  out." 

"  Ha,  ha!  you  make  me  laugh  !  go  and  give  your 
invitations ! " 

The  husband  was  not  delighted  with  the  duty 
assigned  him  by  his  wife  ;  he  decided,  however,  to 
satisfy  her,  and  Cesarine  said  to  Madame  Flam- 
bart, — 

"  I've  just  given  my  husband  his  instructions  for 
the  ball.  I  want  him  to  invite  the  persons  I  have 
designated  to  him." 

"  You  have  done  well,  dearest ;  you  must  put 
your  husband  on  the  right  footing  and  accustom 
him  to  obey  your  will." 

At  eleven  o'clock  Frederic  Duvassel  made  his 
entrance  into  the  ballroom  with  his  young  brother 
Gustave. 

The  bridegroom  was  delighted  at  his  friend's 
appearance ;  he  hastened  to  present  him  to  his  wife, 
during  a  pause  in  the  dance.  Frederic  paid  the 
usual  compliments  to  the  bride,  and  presented  his 
brother  as  an  indefatigable  dancer;  as  for  him- 
self, he  confessed,  he  never  danced.  Young  Gus- 
tave was  a  very  handsome  fellow,  who  still  looked 
like  a  schoolboy.  He  was  exceedingly  bashful,  and 
blushed  when  a  lady  looked  at  him,  and  lowered 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK        51 

his  eyes  very  quickly  under  Cesarine's  glances,  but 
they  rested  with  pleasure  on  little  Elvina,  whose 
modest  demeanor  inspired  him  with  sympathy. 

The  introduction  completed,  Cesarine  turned 
towards  Madame  Dutonneau  and  said  to  her, — 

"  How  stupid  of  my  husband  to  invite  anyone 
who  doesn't  dance  to  a  ball !  What  are  we  going 
to  do  with  M.  Duvassel  ?  He  has  a  mocking  air 
which  does  not  please  me  at  all." 

"  His  brother  is  very  nice." 

"  A  schoolboy  who  looks  like  a  canary.  Now 
there's  M.  Fouillac,  the  son  of  one  of  my  uncle's 
old  friends,  he's  an  agreeable  man,  if  you  like;  he 
doesn't  leave  the  ballroom  for  the  cardroom  as  so 
many  gentlemen  do." 

"  But  he's  a  rather  middle-aged  dancer,"  said 
Madame  Vespuce,  "that  man  must  be  getting  well 
on  to  his  fiftieth  year." 

"  Oh,  you  are  mistaken,  my  dear ;  I  am  sure 
M.  Fouillac  isn't  more  than  forty-five." 

"  He  looks  more." 

"  Chou-chou  still  looks  so  young,  no  one  would 
suppose  he  was  forty-five,  the  wretch ! "  said 
Madame  Dutonneau,  "He's  altogether  too  hand- 
some, and  he's  too  well  aware  of  that  fact." 

"  You  think  your  husband  too  handsome  ? " 

"  Yes,  madame,  because  he  has  too  many  flirta- 
tions, conquests;  he's  ruining  his  health  and  he 
neglects  his  wife  —  and  that  is  not  right  at  my  age." 

M.  Fouillac,  with  whom  we  have  not  as  yet 


52  MADAME  PANTALON 

made  acquaintance,  was  a  well-mannered  man,  be- 
tween forty  and  fifty  years  of  age.  He  had  been 
good-looking  enough,  as  to  his  face,  though  he  had 
rather  the  expression  of  a  sheep  ;  but  now  he  had 
become  quite  bloated,  which  made  his  small  eyes 
look  like  those  of  a  mouse. 

He  was  a  man  who  always  had  a  smile  upon  his 
lips  and  compliments  at  his  tongue's  end ;  with 
these,  a  man  is  rarely  unsuccessful  in  making  a  good 
impression,  especially  among  the  ladies,  yet  at 
thirty  this  gentleman  had  succeeded  in  nothing  but 
in  dissipating  the  property  left  him  by  his  father. 

Since  that  time  how  had  he  lived  ?  That  was 
what  a  great  many  persons  asked,  for  he  had  no 
profession,  and  after  essaying  all  kinds  of  things, 
he  passed  his  time  in  doing  nothing.  There  are 
a  great  many  people  in  the  world  who  are  in  the 
same  case  as  M.  Fouillac ;  always  well-dressed, 
well-mannered,  wearing  the  freshest  of  gloves  and 
the  most  irreproachable  boots,  they  are  seen  at  the 
first  representation  of  all  the  plays  at  the  smaller 
theatres,  at  concerts,  fetes,  balls,  where  they  are 
careful  to  make  themselves  remarked  by  talking 
very  loud. 

Their  lives  are  problematical.  They  live  by 
deceiving  others,  say  some;  they  must  owe  money 
to  everybody,  say  others.  Certain  it  is  that  they 
are  spongers  and  parasites  who  study  how  they 
may  flatter  each  one's  tastes, ;  they  are  invariably 
of  one's  opinion,  and  if  one  were  to  say  that  one 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK        53 

were  going  to  the  moon,  they  would  not  fail  to 
say  that  it  was  really  an  excellent  idea. 

At  the  time  of  which  we  are  writing  M.  Fouillac 
asserted  that  he  did  business  at  the  Bourse ;  he 
frequented  it  very  assiduously,  it  is  true ;  but  it 
was  believed  that  he  only  gambled  with  other  peo- 
ple's money.  M.  Fouillac,  who  had  lost  his  for- 
tune by  gambling,  had  not,  however,  lost  the  hope 
of  one  day  being  more  fortunate  ;  and  if  he  did  not 
take  his  place  at  the  lansquenet  or  baccarat  tables 
in  his  friends'  drawing-rooms,  it  was  because  he  had 
not  a  sou  in  his  pocket,  and  also  because  it  hurt 
his  pride  that  he  could  not  play  for  high  stakes  as 
he  formerly  used.  As  for  that,  one  can  understand 
that  a  man  who  had  covered  the  table  with  bank 
notes  did  not  care  to  take  part  in  a  game  where 
they  only  hoped  to  win  a  few  louis.  That,  how- 
ever, was  why  M.  Fouillac  now  contented  himself 
in  looking  on  at  the  game  and  not  taking  part  in 
it. 

"  Poor  fellow  !  "  said  the  captain,  "  he  is  wiser 
now ;  his  reverses  have  taught  him  his  lesson." 

This  is  how  we  often  misjudge  people;  we  do 
not  suspect  that  this  indifference  masks  a  passion, 
and  that  hidden  passions  are  the  most  dangerous. 
Beware  of  the  bomb  when  it  is  ready  to  explode. 

At  dinner  M.  Fouillac  ate  and  drank  prodig- 
iously, but  that  did  not  prevent  his  studying  the 
tastes,  the  tempers,  of  the  greater  part  of  the  bride's 
good  friends.  Nor  in  the  evening  did  he  fail  to 


54  MADAME  PANTALON 

praise  Madame  fetoile's  verses,  compliment  Ma- 
dame Vespuce  on  her  ball  gown  and  queenly  bear- 
ing, Olympiade  de  Bouchetrou  on  the  air  of 
distinction  which  the  pock-marks  imparted  to  her 
husband,  and,  finally,  Cesarine  on  her  habit  of 
making  herself  obeyed,  and  on  the  control  she 
seemed  to  have  over  her  new  husband. 

There  remained  only  Madame  Flambart,  whom 
he  dared  not  compliment  on  the  fact  that  she  was 
the  widow  of  three  husbands ;  but  before  whom 
he  stopped  every  time  he  passed,  and  bowed  as 
though  he  wanted  to  take  her  in  his  arms. 

Adolphe  presented  his  friend  Frederic  to  the 
captain,  who  said  to  the  newcomer, — 

"Why  are  you  so  late  in  joining  us,  monsieur?" 
"  Why,  captain,  it  is  not  yet  very  late." 
"  Do  you  think  not  ?  it's  half  past  eleven,  I  am 
going  to  bed  soon  myself.     You  are  an  old  friend 
of  Pantalon's,  are  you  not  ? " 

"  Yes,  monsieur,  we  were  chums  at  college." 
"  You  see  I  have  given  him  to  wife  one  who  is 
well-equipped — a  vessel  which  knows  how  to  tack, 
confound  it !     You  have  seen  my  niece  ? " 

"  Yes,  captain,  I  have  had  the  honor  of  meet- 
ing her.  She  is  a  very  beautiful  woman." 

"  I  quite  agree  with  you.  I  hope  Pantalon  will 
not  keep  all  his  canvas  furled  beside  her.  As  for 
the  rest,  I  am  perfectly  easy,  if  he  doesn't  walk 
straight,  Cesarine  will  know  how  to  set  the  pace  for 
him.  My  niece  is  as  good  as  a  man  any  day,  she 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK         55 

has  all  the  capacity  of  one.  I  mean  by  that  the 
capacity  of  a  man  of  merit,  of  mind  ;  as  for  weak- 
minded  idiots,  she  would  tread  them  under  foot 
like  kittens." 

Frederic  tried  to  maintain  his  gravity  as  he 
looked  at  the  bridegroom,  who  did  not  appear 
altogether  delighted  at  the  portrait  which  was  drawn 
of  his  wife.  But  Madame  Flambart  came  up, 
exclaiming, — 

"  Monsieur  Adolphe,  your  wife  saw  you  talking, 
and  was  afraid  you  might  forget  that  you  were  to 
dance  this  dance  with  Madame  Gercain,  and  they 
are  about  to  take  their  places.  Come,  Madame 
Gercain  is  over  there,  on  the  left." 

"  Oh,  I  see  her ;  she's  ugly  enough  to  be  recog- 
nized; she's  a  little  humpbacked  too,  I  think.  It's 
anything  but  pleasurable  to  dance  with  that  lady." 

"  It  is  your  wife's  will ;  come  along." 

The  bridegroom  decided  to  obey,  making  a  gri- 
mace. Madame  Flambart  looked  at  the  captain 
and  remarked, — 

"  He  submits  ;  oh,  Cesarine  will  make  him  toe 
the  mark;  from  the  first,  I  said  to  her, f  My  dear- 
est, from  the  very  first  day  of  your  marriage  you 
must  put  your  husband  on  the  right  footing  — 
immediately  —  on  the  right  footing.' ' 

"  Who  in  the  world  is  that  lady  ?  "  asked  Fred- 
eric of  the  captain,  when  the  widow  had  departed. 

"That,  monsieur,  is  a  woman  who  has  buried 
three  husbands ! " 


56  MADAME  PANTALON 

"  Confound  it !  if  she  lost  them  by  means  of 
putting  them  on  the  right  footing,  I  venture  to  hope 
your  niece  will  not  follow  her  counsels." 

The  old  mariner  laughed. 

"  Be  quite  easy  as  to  that,"  he  said,  "  my  niece 
follows  her  own  ideas,  she  follows  nobody's  coun- 
sels. Come,  Lundi-Gras,  we  are  sailing  before  the 
wind,  cabin  boy,  it's  time  to  tack  for  the  shore." 

"  What,  captain,  are  you  going  already  ?  Why, 
there's  a  supper  yet,  they  told  me  so  at  the  office." 

"  I  know  that  devilish  well,  seeing  I  ordered  it, 
but  it  is  for  the  young  people  who  are  going  to 
dance  all  night,  while  we  others,  old  lugger,  will  go  to 
bed.  It  would  seem  strange  to  me,  besides,  if  you 
hadn't  had  enough  to  eat  and  drink,  without  want- 
ing anything  more." 

"  I  assure  you,  captain,  I  should  have  supped 
with  great  pleasure." 

"  Hold  your  tongue,  old  snob  !  Come,  forward, 
march !  " 

M.  de  Vabeaupont  and  his  cabin  boy  had  left. 
The  ball  was  then  at  its  height,  the  dance  was  very 
lively,  for  the  captain  had  done  things  well ;  punch 
was  handed  round  between  the  dances ;  the  gen- 
tlemen did  not  despise  it,  and  Madame  Flambart 
imitated  them,  saying  to  the  ladies, — 

"  Mesdames,  believe  me,  you  had  better  drink 
some  of  this  punch,  it  is  infinitely  preferable  to  ices 
and  syrups,  and  it  will  prevent  your  giving  your- 
selves inflammation  of  the  lungs." 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK        57 

"  But  we  shall  make  ourselves  tipsy,"  suggested 
Madame  Vespuce. 

"  Not  a  bit  of  it,  it  is  only  a  question  of  accus- 
toming one's  self  to  it." 

Among  all  these  cheerful,  jolly,  animated  faces, 
the  bridegroom's  was  the  only  one  which  looked 
at  all  serious.  His  friend  Frederic  observing  this, 
rallied  him. 

"  What  is  the  matter  with  you,  my  dear  Adolphe  ? 
for  a  bridegroom,  I  think  you  look  rather  more 
thoughtful  than  is  usual." 

"  By  Jove  !  my  dear  fellow,  I  can't  stand  any 
more  of  this ;  this  incessant  dancing  is  overpower- 
ing. I've  never  been  fond  of  dancing ;  a  quadrille 
now  and  then  is  all  very  well,  but  a  whole  evening 
of  it  without  any  rest  is  far  from  pleasurable." 

"  And  what  obliges  you  to  do  it,  if  you  don't 
wish  to  ? " 

"  Why,  my  wife ;  Cesarine  has  given  me  tablets 
on  which  she  has  written  the  names  of  the  persons 
with  whom  I  must  dance —  you  saw  that  just  now; 
when  I  appear  to  be  thinking  of  resting  a  little,  she 
sends  Madame  Flambart  to  me,  to  recall  me  to 
my  duties." 

"  Adolphe,  will  you  allow  me  to  advise  you  ?  " 

"  Speak,  I  am  all  attention." 

"  I  was  very  much  concerned  for  you  when  I 
heard  M.  de  Vabeaupont  describing  his  niece.  If 
he  was  saying  what  was  true,  you  have  not  married 
a  woman,  but  a  cuirassier." 


58  MADAME  PANTALON 

"  What  an  idea  !  " 

"It  pleases  me  to  think,"  resumed  Frederic, 
"  that  the  uncle,  dear  fellow !  has  overdrawn  the 
portrait ;  still,  your  wife  has  already  shown  herself 
rather  exacting.  The  Dame  Flambart,  widow  of 
three  husbands,  keeps  saying  that  your  wife  must 
put  you  on  the  right  footing.  The  best  footing 
for  a  household  is  gentleness,  a  mutual  complai- 
sance which  does  not  say, £  I  wish  to  be  the  master  '; 
but  which  does  not  allow  one  to  weaken  when  one 
is  in  the  right.  If  you  begin  by  doing  your  wife's 
will,  she  will  end  in  looking  upon  you  as  a  cipher 
and  doing  everything  without  consulting  you." 

"  Don't  be  uneasy,  I  have  too  much  strength 
of  mind  for  that ;  if  they  go  too  far,  I  shall  let 
them  see." 

"  That's  all  very  well,  but  it  would  be  much  bet- 
ter not  to  let  them  go  too  far." 

"  Oh,  here's  the  introduction  to  the  next  dance, 
it  is  a  waltz  this  time,  and  I  don't  like  waltzing." 

«  Well,  don't  waltz,  then." 

"  This  is  Madame  Boulard's  dance  —  an  enor- 
mous woman,  a  regular  bale,  I  can  never  support 
her." 

"  Don't  waltz,  say  it  makes  you  dizzy." 

"  But  Cesarine  knows  well  that  I  waltz,  I  have 
waltzed  with  her.  Ah,  good  !  here  is  the  aide-de- 
camp sent  to  warn  me." 

"  Oh,  yes,  the  widow  of  three  husbands  is  ad- 
vancing towards  us  ;  be  on  your  guard." 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK        59 

Madame  Flambart,  in  fact,  came  up  to  them, 
and  addressed  the  husband, — 

"  Well,  don't  you  hear,  they've  begun  the  waltz  ; 
it  is  Madame  Boulard  whom  you  are  to  invite. 
Cesarine  sent  me  to  tell  you.  Come  quickly,  you've 
lost  some  bars  already  —  but  come  along." 

Frederic  nudged  his  friend  and  whispered  to 
him,  "  Don't  go."  Adolphe  hesitated,  then  he 
said, — 

'"  I  am  very  tired  and  Madame  Boulard  is  a  very 
bad  waltzer." 

"  You  will  make  her  go  all  right,  with  a  good 
partner  a  woman  can  always  waltz." 

"  No,  when  a  woman  has  no  ear,  her  partner  can 
never  make  her  keep  time." 

"Why,  come  along,  M.  Pantalon,  since  it  is 
your  wife's  wish  that  you  should." 

"  No  ;  I  shall  not  waltz  this  time." 

"  Why,  what  an  idea  !  well,  I  must  say  you  are 
neither  amiable  nor  gallant.  Your  wife  will  be 
furious." 

"  Oh,  I  think  not.  I  should  not  like  to  think 
she  would  pout  over  a  little  thing  like  that." 

The  widow  departed,  very  much  disappointed, 
and  went  to  inform  Cesarine  of  her  husband's 
resolution.  The  newly  married  woman  could  not 
understand  how  any  one  could  refuse  to  do  any- 
thing she  wished,  and  she  said  to  M.  Fouillac,  who 
was  beside  her, — 

"  Monsieur  Fouillac,  will  you  go  and  find  my 


60  MADAME  PANTALON 

husband?  he  can't  have  understood  Madame Flam- 
bart ;  he  owes  this  waltz  to  Madame  Boulard,  who 
is  awaiting  him,  and  has  refused  others  on  his 
account,  it  would  be  outrageous  of  him  to  make 
her  miss  the  waltz  —  go  and  tell  him  that." 

"  I'll  fly  to  do  your  bidding,  fair  lady  ;  and  if 
needs  be,  if  your  husband  refuses  to  waltz  with  this 
lady,  I'll  take  his  place  myself,  though  I  am  rather 
a  poor  partner." 

"  You  are  a  charming  man  !  you  always  do  as 
one  wishes." 

"  I  have  no  other  occupation,  madame." 

M.  Fouillac  turned  swaggeringly  towards  the 
bridegroom,  and  Cesarine  remarked  to  Madame 
Flambart, — 

"  I  have  quite  an  idea  that  it  is  this  M.  Du- 
vassel,  this  friend  of  Adolphe's  whom  I  have  never 
seen  before,  who  is  giving  him  bad  counsel ;  for 
never,  up  to  the  present,  has  Adolphe  refused  to 
do  anything  I  asked  him." 

"  Yes,"  said  the  widow,  "he  was  talking  in  quite 
a  low  tone  to  your  husband,  and  he  looked  de- 
lighted when  M.  Pantalon  refused  to  waltz  with 
Madame  Boulard." 

"  Oh  !  well,  we  shall  see  ;  my  husband  must  not 
imagine  that  he  can  take  advice  from  any  one  but 
me.  No,  no,  I  shall  not  for  a  moment  suffer  that. 
This  M.  Duvassel,  this  would-be  doctor,  must 
take  care  how  he  behaves." 

Meanwhile  M.  Fouillac  had   gone  up  to  the 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK        61 

husband,  who  was  still  chatting  with  his  friend 
Frederic,  he  smiled  graciously  and  said  to  him, — 

"  Monsieur  bridegroom,  I  come  to  you  as  an 
ambassador,  your  charming  wife  has  delegated  her 
powers  to  me  and  commissions  me  to  beg  you  to 
waltz  with  Madame  Boulard,  whom  I  do  not  know, 
but  who  has  been  designated  to  me  from  a  distance 
—  a  little,  yellow,  enormously  stout  and  very  short 
woman  with  roses  in  her  hair.  I  can  see  her  from 
here." 

"  M.  Fouillac,  I  am  very  sorry  you  have  taken 
so  much  trouble,  but  I  have  already  told  Madame 
Flambart  that  I  wish  to  rest  a  little ;  I  am  tired." 

"So  you  don't  wish  to  waltz  with  Madame 
Boulard?" 

"  No,  not  this  time." 

"  Well,  then,  if  you  will  allow  me  I  will  do  so 
in  your  stead  ;  I'll  waltz  with  this  lady  who  is 
awaiting  you,  and  I'll  tell  her  you  have  the  cramp." 

"  Tell  her  anything  you  like ;  you  are  extremely 
obliging  and  I  thank  you  for  your  good  offices." 

"  I  am  delighted  to  be  able  to  serve  you ;  only 
I  am  not  a  very  good  waltzer.  Does  this  lady 
dance  well  ?  " 

"  Angelically,"  answered  Frederic, biting  his  lips. 

"  Then  she  will  guide  me ;  that  will  do  very 
well,  but  she  must  guide  me." 

And  M.  Fouillac  went  off  to  invite  the  fat 
dumpy  woman  to  dance  ;  she  accepted  the  invita- 
tion with  alacrity. 


62  MADAME  PANTALON 

"  Who  is  this  very  obliging  gentleman  ?  "  in- 
quired Frederic  of  Adolphe. 

"  An  acquaintance  of  the  captain's  —  the  son  of 
one  of  his  old  comrades.  You  told  him  that  lady 
waltzed  angelically  and  it  is  quite  the  contrary." 

"It  was  necessary  to  encourage  him,  since  it 
was  imperative  that  he  should  waltz  with  Madame 
Boulard." 

"  My  dear  fellow,  how  will  he  get  out  of  it  with- 
out some  mishap  ?  I  shudder  to  think  of  it." 

"  And  it's  a  perfect  festival  for  me — to  see  them 
waltz.  By  the  way,  here's  your  wife  passing,  well, 
really,  she  waltzes  perfectly." 

"  Cesarine  can  do  anything  she  wishes.  Your 
brother  is  waltzing  with  my  sister." 

"  Your  sister  is  very  pleasing ;  she  looks  as 
though  she  were  very  modest  and  gentle." 

"Yes,  she  has  an  amiable  disposition,  she's 
rather  timid,  but  she  will  live  with  us  and  Cesarine 
will  form  her." 

"  Oh,  my  dear  fellow,  try  not  to  have  her  formed 
too  much,  a  timid  woman  is  so  pleasing !  " 

"  Really,  Frederic,  you  have  a  bad  opinion  of 
my  wife  —  " 

"  No,  my  dear  fellow,  no ;  only,  I  am  doubtful 
of  women  who  speak  Latin.  Oh,  these  learned 
women  !  remember  Moliere." 

"It  is  not  so  in  our  time." 

"  I  am  notof  your  opinion;  the  ridiculous  changes 
its  form,  but  it  reappears  at  all  epochs ;  it  is  like 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK        63 

the  passions,  inherent  in  the  human  species.  Look 
you,  are  there  not  always  ambitious,  egotistical, 
jealous,  envious,  avaricious  people  ?  canting  hypo- 
crites, seducers,  usurers  and  boasters  ?  and  in  fact 
wicked  people  who  often  do  evil  for  the  mere 
pleasure  of  doing  it,  and  without  gaining  anything 
thereby  ?  The  latter  are  the  more  numerous,  which 
proves  that  we  do  not  come  into  the  world  with  all 
the  virtues.  But  look  out !  here  are  our  waltzers." 

M.  Fouillac,  who  was  just  above  middle  height, 
found  that  his  partner's  roses  were  almost  under 
his  chin ;  he  had  his  arms  around  Madame  Bou- 
lard,  and  tried,  as  he  turned,  to  raise  the  massive 
dame,  who  shook  continually  out  of  time  and 
yielded  her  unresisting  weight  to  her  partner's 
arms  in  a  manner  which  threatened  to  utterly  ex- 
haust that  gentleman.  In  fact  the  perspiration  was 
pouring  from  M.  Fouillac  in  great  drops,  his  face 
had  become  scarlet;  he  was  obliged  to  hold  his 
partner  firmly  and  he  also  had  to  avoid  the  shocks 
of  the  other  waltzers,  against  whom  Madame  Bou- 
lard  was  always  ready  to  bump. 

This  painful  work  could  not  last  forever.  Fouil- 
lac's  vanity  would  not  allow  him  to  desist ;  but  he 
began  to  be  dizzy,  and  was  no  longer  able  to  avoid 
the  other  couples  who  were  waltzing ;  pushed  by 
some,  jostled  by  others,  he  had  the  misfortune  to 
find  himself  in  handsome  Dutonneau's  way.  That 
fine  fellow,  who  was  waltzing  with  a  woman  of  his 
own  calibre,  hurled  himself  against  the  weighty 


64  MADAME  PANTALON 

Madame  Boulard  and  her  partner  with  an  impact 
that  they  could  not  resist ;  they  both  fell,  the  gentle- 
man on  his  back,  and  the  lady  on  top  of  him. 

Fortunately,  they  were  not  at  the  Opera  ball, 
where  all  the  waltzers  would  have  continued  to 
turn  at  the  risk  of  passing  over  their  bodies ;  at 
a  private  ball,  when  a  similar  event  happens,  the 
bandmaster  makes  a  sign  to  his  musicians,  who 
cease  to  play  immediately.  So  all  the  waltzers 
stopped,  and  hastened  to  pick  up  the  fallen  couple  ; 
Fouillac  could  not  stir,  because  Madame  Boulard's 
weight  was  upon  him,  and  her  chignon  and  roses, 
which  had  become  detached  from  her  head,  were  all 
over  his  face.  Finally  some  of  them  picked  up  the 
dame,  all  the  ladies  hastened  to  reassure  her,  tell- 
ing her  that  she  had  fallen  gracefully,  not  even 
showing  her  ankles. 

This  assurance  was  but  small  consolation  to 
Madame  Boulard  for  the  mortification  of  losing 
her  hair ;  she  looked  at  her  chignon  and  her  roses 
strewn  on  the  floor,  where  Fouillac  had  dashed 
them  angrily  from  his  mouth.  As  for  him,  his 
face  was  scratched,  for  the  pins  which  held  Madame 
Boulard's  chignon  and  roses  had  not  spared  her 
partner. 

Cesarine  had  hardly  been  informed  of  the  acci- 
dent when  she  went  in  search  of  her  husband,  and 
said  to  him  very  acidly, — 

"  Well,  monsieur,  do  you  know  what  has  hap- 
pened? It  is  your  fault  that  Madame  Boulard  fell, 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK        65 

that  her  chignon  came  off,  that  she  has  lost  a  part 
of  her  hair  and  her  roses,  and  that  poor  M.  Fouil- 
lac  has  his  face  all  scratched  up." 

"And  how  am  I  the  cause  of  that,  my  dear? 
Am  I  to  blame  because  Madame  Boulard  wears 
false  hair  ?  and  because  M.  Fouillac  fell  with  his 
partner  ? " 

"  Yes,  monsieur,  you  are  to  blame ;  for  if  you 
had  waltzed  with  Madame  Boulard,  according  to 
your  engagement,  all  that  would  not  have  hap- 
pened." 

"  My  engagement  ?  You  are  delightful,  my  dear- 
est. Why,  I  did  not  put  those  ladies'  names  on 
your  tablets;  and  really  you  put  too  many." 

"  Very  well,  monsieur,  that's  enough.  I  shall 
remember  how  disobliging  you  were." 

"  But  Cesarine,  it  seems  to  me  —  " 

The  bride  took  herself  off  without  waiting  to 
listen  further ;  throwing,  as  she  went,  a  proud 
defiant  glance  at  Duvassel,  who,  however,  made 
her  a  very  gracious  obeisance. 

"  You  made  me  put  my  foot  in  it  finely,"  said 
the  bridegroom  to  his  friend.  "  Here  is  my  wife 
vexed  with  me.  I've  made  Madame  Boulard's 
hair  come  off  and  lost  her  chignon." 

"  Why  doesn't  this  M.  Fouillac  know  how  to 
take  better  care  of  his  partner  ?  Come,  think  no 
more  of  it ;  your  wife  will  forget  all  about  this  in 
dancing,  and  among  all  these  ladies  I  assure  you  I 
have  seen  a  good  many  who  were  laughing  at  the 

Vol.  XXI 


66  MADAME  PANTALON 

accident  to  the  chignon.  But  here  is  my  brother ; 
he,  at  any  rate,  is  not  in  a  bad  humor." 

Young  Gustave  had,  in  fact,  a  radiant  expression. 
He  hurried  to  say  to  the  bridegroom, — 

"  Oh,  monsieur,  how  amiable,  how  charming 
your  sister  is ;  how  willing  she  was  to  talk  to  me. 
She  doesn't  look  proud  and  affected,  like  the  other 
young  ladies.  Monsieur,  when  I  return  from  trav- 
elling with  my  brother,  you  will  permit  me  to  come 
and  see  you,  will  you  not  ?  " 

"  Yes,  of  course." 

"  Why,  Adolphe,  here  is  my  brother  in  love 
with  your  sister.  He  bursts  into  a  flame  as  easily 
as  a  torch  when  a  match  is  applied  to  it,  the  rascal ! " 

"  Oh,  well,  later  on,  if  he  still  loves  Elvina  — 
there's  no  knowing — " 

"  Oh,  yes,  keep  her  for  me,  I  beg  of  you  ;  don't 
marry  her  to  any  one  else  —  keep  her  for  me." 

"  Be  quite  easy  as  to  that,  young  man  !  filvina 
is  still  too  young  to  dream  of  marrying." 

"  Frederic,  you  won't  insist  upon  my  travelling 
for  long,  I  hope  ? " 

"  Leave  me  in  peace, you  young  hot-head  !  I'll 
wager  you  will  fall  in  love  in  every  town  in  which 
we  stop." 

"No,  no,  monsieur,  I  shall  never  love  anybody 
but  your  sister.  Oh,  they  are  playing  a  polka  now, 
I'm  going  to  dance  it  with  her,  I'm  desperately 
fond  of  the  polka  —  keep  her  for  me,  monsieur." 

"  Get  away  with  you  to  your  polka." 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK        67 

The  ball  was  prolonged  until  four  o'clock,  when 
they  sat  down  to  supper ;  the  ladies  were  glad  to 
rest  after  the  fatigue  of  so  much  dancing,  and  the 
gentlemen  renewed  their  strength  for  the  cotillon. 

Adolphe  endeavored  to  approach  his  wife ;  but 
the  latter  avoided  him  and  did  not  answer  him 
when  he  spoke  to  her. 

"  They  are  beginning  well,"  said  Frederic  to 
himself,  glancing  slyly  at  the  bridegroom.  "  Ah, 
my  poor  Adolphe,  you  have  married  a  very  fine 
woman ;  but,  frankly,  I  do  not  envy  you  your 
happiness." 


CHAPTER  III 

SIXTEEN  MONTHS  LATER.    MADAME  PANTALON 
DECLARES  HERSELF 

SIXTEEN  months  had  elapsed  since  the  wedding 
festivities  at  which  we  were  present.  During  this 
time  Frederic  Duvassel  and  his  brother  had  been 
travelling  in  England,  Italy  and  Germany.  When 
they  came  back  to  Paris,  young  Gustave  was  less 
childish,  less  heedless  than  before  his  departure ; 
but,  if  he  had  had  some  gallant  adventures  in  for- 
eign countries,  he  had  not  forgotten  pretty  Elvina, 
with  whom  he  had  fallen  so  much  in  love  at  Pan- 
talon's  wedding;  and  on  reaching  Paris  he  said  to 
his  brother, — 

"  You  are  going  to  see  your  friend  Adolphe,  are 
you  not  ?  Then  you  can  ask  his  permission  to  take 
me  with  you  —  " 

"  Yes,  yes,  in  a  moment ;  let  me  have  time  to 
get  my  boots  off,  won't  you  ?  " 

"  You  will  inquire  after  his  charming  sister's 
health,  won't  you  ?  She  must  be  grown  ?  " 

"  Perhaps  ;  do  you  want  to  have  her  bigger  ? " 

"  No,  brother,  I  ask  for  nothing  but  to  find  her 
as  she  was  when  I  left  her  sixteen  months  ago." 

"  I  hope,  for  your  sake,  that  she  has  not  changed ; 

68 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK        69 

but  in  sixteen  months  so  many  things  may  hap- 
pen." 

"You  frighten  me  ;  what  if  she  should  no  longer 
love  me  ! " 

"  What  ?  no  longer  love  you  ?  Can  it  be  that 
that  young  timid  girl  told  you  at  your  first  meet- 
ing that  she  loved  you." 

"  Oh,  no  —  but,  you  see,  without  saying  any- 
thing, one  understands  so  quickly  sometimes.  Oh, 
if  I  was  mistaken  I  shall  be  so  unhappy  !  " 

"  Don't  talk  so  foolishly,  you  are  not  yet  twenty- 
two  ;  at  that  age  love  renders  only  idiots  unhappy, 
and  you  are  not  one." 

"  When  shall  you  go  to  see  M.  Pantalon  ?  " 

"  Oh,  don't  pester  me  !   I  will  go  in  a  few  days." 

"  Tomorrow,  old  fellow ;  tomorrow,  I  beseech 
you." 

"  By  Jove  !  you  are  in  a  hurry." 

"  You  have  told  me  yourself,  Frederic,  when 
anything  will  render  us  happy,  we  should  not  put 
it  off  to  the  next  day!  " 

"  That  is  correct !  Desaugiers,  whose  songs  were 
highly  esteemed,  said, — 

Today  belongs  to  us 

And  tomorrow  belongs  to  nobody. 

Come,  calm  yourself,  terrible  lover!  but  don't 
allow  yourself  to  fall  into  sweet  delusions.  A  sage 
—  no,  a  philosopher,  which  is  almost  the  same 
thing,  said,  *  On  coming  back  from  a  long  journey, 


yo  MADAME  PANTALON 

expect  to  find  your  house  burned,  your  wife  un- 
faithful, and  your  children  dead  ! ' 

"  But  I  have  neither  house,  children,  wife,  nor 
mistress." 

"  Then,  all  right!  you  can  brave  destiny.  Those 
who  possess  nothing  have  one  consolation,  they 
can  sleep  tranquilly.  But  there  is  still  love  to  set 
a  hammer  tapping  in  the  heads  of  those  who  are 
foolish  enough  to  make  a  passion  of  it." 

"You  have  never  been  in  love,  have  you, 
brother?" 

"  Yes,  I  have  —  but  calmly,  agreeably.  For  me 
love  has  always  been  a  pleasure,  never  a  grief." 

"  That's  because  you  have  never  really  been  in 
love." 

"  Come,  I  won't  tease  you  any  more,  my  dear 
Gustave ;  tomorrow  I  will  go  and  see  the  Pan- 
talons." 

"You  are  very  kind,  and  you  shall  speak  for 
me ;  you  shall  say  that  I  am  now  very  wise,  very 
steady,  in  fact  that  I  am  quite  good  enough  to 
marry." 

"  I  am  not  too  sure  I  ought  to  say  that,  for  I 
don't  believe  a  word  of  it.  But  if,  in  this  world, 
people  never  said  anything  but  what  they  believed, 
they  would  have  no  long  conversations.  It  was 
a  famous  diplomat  who  said,  '  Speech  was  given 
to  man  that  he  might  disguise  his  thought,'  and, 
unfortunately,  the  great  diplomat  was  right." 

The  next  day  Frederic  was  crossing  the  Place 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK        71 

de  la  Bourse  to  repair  to  his  old  college  friend's, 
when  in  the  same  place  where,  sixteen  months 
previously,  he  had  met  Adolphe  Pantalon,  he  sud- 
denly confronted  that  individual  himself. 

"  Why,  it  is  he  !  "  cried  Frederic. 

"  It's  you,"  echoed  Adolphe. 

"  We  seem  to  be  destined  to  meet  always  at  the 
same  place." 

"  That's  true ;  there  are  chances  in  life  that  seem 
like  special  providences.  We  met  each  other  here 
sixteen  months  ago." 

"  You  were  going  to  be  married,  and  I  was  re- 
turning from  a  journey,  precisely  as  I  am  to-day ; 
I  arrived  in  Paris  with  Gustave  yesterday  evening 
and  I  was  going  to  your  place  as  I  was  sixteen 
months  ago  ;  only,  I  presume,  you  are  not  going 
to  be  married  again  ?  " 

"  Oh,  no,  once  is  quite  enough  ? " 

"  You  don't  say  so,  my  poor  Adolphe  !  But 
come,  let's  look  at  you.  I'm  obliged  to  tell  you 
that  you  don't  look  so  fresh  and  cheerful  as  you 
used  —  and  you  are  thin." 

"  That's  a  mere  nothing ;  being  fat  does  not 
make  one  happy." 

"  No,  it  doesn't  make  happiness,  but  it  often 
indicates  it.  You  look  so  serious,  sad  even,  and 
you  were  formerly  so  jolly,  so  full  of  fun." 

"  My  dear  fellow !  marriage  has  changed  that !  " 

"  You  are  not  happy  in  your  household  then  ? 
Come,  my  dear  Adolphe,  take  my  arm,  and  as  we 


72  MADAME  PANTALON 

go  along  tell  me  all  your  troubles.  You  know  well 
that  I  am  your  best,  perhaps  your  only  close  friend, 
for  they  are  quite  as  rare  as  faithful  mistresses ;  and 
I  shall  be  only  too  happy  to  alleviate  your  sorrows, 
if  you  have  any." 

"  Oh,  yes,  I  have  them.  Well,  Frederic,  you 
were  quite  right ;  I  did  not  marry  a  woman,  but  a 
cuirassier.'* 

"  Really?  why,  I  only  said  that  to  you  for  a 
joke."  ( 

"It  is  far  from  a  joke;  Cesarine  always  wants 
to  command ;  at  a  word,  the  slightest  observation 
sometimes,  she  gets  angry,  flies  into  a  passion,  and 
when  she  is  angry  breaks  everything  that  comes  to 
her  hand." 

"  That  is  because  she  is  nervous." 

"She's  too  nervous — altogether  too  nervous. 
During  the  first  months  of  our  marriage  she  was 
in  delicate  health,  and  I  submitted  without  mur- 
muring ;  I  said  to  myself, c  It  is  her  condition  which 
renders  her  thus,  the  effects  will  pass  with  the 
cause  ! '  My  wife  presented  me  with  a  beautiful  lit- 
tle girl ;  that  was  good.  She  put  her  out  to  nurse 
in  Bretigny,  near  her  uncle's  chateau  ;  nothing  bet- 
ter !  She  goes  to  see  her  baby  when  the  desire 
takes  her  ;  I  find  no  fault  with  that ;  besides,  she 
goes  at  the  same  time  to  see  her  uncle,  who  no 
longer  comes  to  Paris,  because  he  is  now  tied  to 
his  estate  by  the  gout.  Well,  will  you  believe  it, 
my  friend  ?  since  her  child  was  born  my  wife  has 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK         73 

become  more  unamiable  than  ever.  In  the  first 
place  she  has  acquired  the  habit  of  criticising  all  I 
do  and  of  wanting  to  meddle  with  my  work,  even 
with  cases  I  have  to  defend.  When  any  one  comes 
to  consult  me  in  regard  to  a  new  case,  which  they 
wish  to  confide  to  me,  if  I  am  absent  my  wife  sees 
the  client ;  she  makes  him  explain  the  business, 
and  it  has  happened  several  times  that  she  has  sent 
away  the  person,  saying,  'Your  case  is  bad,  my  hus- 
band will  not  plead  for  you,  I  don't  wish  him  to 
undertake  your  business,  he  would  lose  the  case  — 
take  away  your  papers,  you  are  in  the  wrong.' ' 

"  Why,  this  is  very  amusing.  Madame  is  a 
jurisconsult." 

"  Why,  no,  my  dear  fellow,  it  is  not  amusing  at 
all ;  her  standpoint  is  this :  that,  generally  speak- 
ing, men  do  not  know  how  to  plead,  that  they  have 
not  enough  finesse  to  seize  on  the  weak  part  of  an 
adversary's  case,  and  that  only  women  should  be 
lawyers." 

"  Well,  certainly  their  speeches  would  never  be 
too  short." 

"  Unfortunately  I  lost  the  last  two  causes  that 
I  pleaded,  and,  as  you  may  imagine,  my  wife  has 
not  been  sparing  of  her  sarcasm.  I  f  she  had  pleaded, 
she  asserts  that  my  client  would  have  won  his  case. 
That's  the  whole  story.  Lately  I  have  been  out 
hunting  with  my  friends,  and  if  I  come  home  with 
an  empty  bag,  that  isn't  my  fault,  but  by  Jove ! 
Cesarine's  taunts  are  hard  to  bear." 


74  MADAME  PANTALON 

"My  poor  Adolphe !  After  sixteen  months'  mar- 
riage —  that  is  too  soon." 

"  So  it  is  in  everything ;  madame  asserts  that  she 
can  understand  it  better  than  I.  In  fact,  my  dear 
fellow,  after  sixteen  months  of  marriage,  things 
have  come  to  such  a  pass  that  we  each  have  our 
own  apartment." 

"  Married  people  of  your  age,  that  is  deplorable !" 

"  Cesarine  has  been  and  is  encouraged  in  these 
ideas  by  her  intimate  friends  :  Mesdames  Vespuce, 
Dutonneau,  Bouchetrou,  Etoile,  Grassouillet,  the 
Widow  Flambart,  and  a  good  many  others  besides. 
If  you  did  but  know  how  these  ladies  treat  men. 
If  we  followed  their  ideas,  we  should  submit  to  be 
their  slaves,  to  execute  their  orders ;  they  would 
hold  the  purse  and  give  us  money  only  when  they 
were  satisfied  as  to  our  conduct." 

"  It's  enough  to  kill  one  with  laughter." 

"  No,  I  assure  you  it  is  not  at  all  a  laughing 
matter,  to  be  married  to  one  of  these  viragoes. 
Then  there's  that  fellow  Fouillac ;  he  flatters  these 
ladies'  ideas  and  they  deign  to  admit  him  to  their 
conventions  —  they  think  him  worthy  of  their 
confidence." 

"  Because  he  fell  when  waltzing  with  Madame 
Boulard  ? " 

"  Because  he  still  bears  on  his  face  the  marks  of 
the  pins  which  should  have  held  his  partner's  chig- 
non on ;  these  are  noble  scars,  which  render  him 
charming  in  the  eyes  of  the  ladies." 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK        75 

"  And  you  admit  this  gentleman  to  your  house  ? " 

"  Good  God!  I  have  to.  Cesarine  would  make 
a  fine  rumpus  if  I  were  to  put  him  out.  For  the 
rest,  this  gentleman,  whom  I  believe  to  be  a  Gas- 
con in  character  as  well  as  by  birth,  is  looking  for 
nothing  better  than  being  asked  to  dinner  where 
he  can  pay  his  shot  in  anecdotes,  in  which  the  fair 
sex  always  take  the  better  part." 

"  And  your  sister,  your  pretty  little  sister,  you 
have  not  spoken  of  her,  is  she  still  with  you  ? " 

"  Yes,  but  I  believe  it  would  have  been  better 
for  Elvina  had  she  stayed  at  her  boarding  school." 

"Why  so  ?" 

"  Why,  because  in  living  with  Cesarine,  in  con- 
tinually hearing  men  spoken  ill  of,  in  witnessing 
how  my  wife  speaks  to  me,  my  sister  is  growing 
less  docile,  answers  with  more  assurance,  makes 
observations  on  what  she  is  asked  to  do  —  in  fact, 
because  she  is  no  longer  that  timid,  gentle  little 
girl  that  you  saw  at  my  wedding." 

"  The  devil !  and  my  brother  is  still  in  love  with 
her  —  thinks  only  of  her,  speaks  only  of  her!" 

"  Really ! " 

"  So  much  sc  that  we  had  barely  arrived  yester- 
day before  he  wanted  me  to  come  post  haste  to 
you  —  he  was  so  eager  to  be  presented." 

"  Bring  him,  my  dear  fellow,  bring  him  ;  these 
ladies  have  not  gone  so  far  yet  as  to  refuse  to  re- 
ceive a  pleasing  young  fellow." 

"And  can  I  pass  under  that  heading?" 


76  MADAME  PANTALON 

"  Be  easy  ;  I  receive  these  ladies'  friends ;  there 
will  be  the  devil  to  payif  they  don't  welcome  mine." 

"  That's  poor  reasoning.  But  what  you  tell  me 
about  your  sister  makes  me  uneasy  on  poor  Gus- 
tave's  account.  We  must  not  let  that  young  girl 
become  a  cuirassier,  or  even  a  little  fifer." 

"  Oh,  there  is  still  one  resource  !  Elvina  has  a 
naturally  happy  disposition,  and  sometimes  when 
my  wife  has  said  something  that  causes  me  pain, 
if  my  sister  perceives  it,  she  comes  quickly  to  kiss 
me,  and  says  in  a  low  voice,  £  Don't  be  vexed, 
Adolphe,  Cesarine  only  said  that  so  as  not  to  yield.' " 

"  All  the  same  I  think  it  is  time  my  brother 
showed  himself,  if  he  does  not  want  your  sister  to 
turn  into  a  masculine  woman.  May  he  present 
himself  at  your  house  to-morrow  ?  " 

"  Of  course,  that  is  our  reception  day,  but  there's 
no  ceremony,  no  dressing  for  the  occasion  —  I 
speak  of  the  men,  for  the  ladies  always  make  fine 
toilets,  but  that  is  their  domain." 

"  Yes,  and  since  it  is  to  please  us  men  that  they 
like  to  adorn  themselves,  we  can  hardly  think  ill 
of  them  for  it." 

"Oh,  my  dear  Frederic,  it  is  not  always  to  please 
the  men  that  women  wish  to  have  fine  toilets,  it  is 
in  the  hope  of  eclipsing  and  making  their  best 
friends  envious." 

"  Deuce  take  it,  Adolphe ;  you  are  mighty 
severe  on  the  ladies  now." 

"  What  can  you  expect  ?  they  have  soured  my 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK        77 

temper.  You  will  come  tomorrow  evening  with 
your  brother  —  that's  settled,  is  it  not?" 

"Yes,  but  don't  tell  your  wife  that  I  am  coming 
beforehand ;  I  have  an  idea  that  she  will  not  be 
very  pleased  to  see  me." 

"  And  you  are  not  wrong,  my  poor  Frederic," 
resumed  Adolphe,  "to  think  that  Cesarine  doesn't 
look  favorably  on  you." 

"  What  is  the  reason  of  this  antipathy  ?  " 

"  Why,  my  dear  fellow,  she  suspects  you  of  hav- 
ing advised  me  not  to  waltz  with  Madame  Boulard, 
and,  by  a  peculiar  course  of  reasoning,  of  being  the 
cause  of  that  lady's  losing  her  chignon,  and  of  the 
scratches  on  M.  Fouillac's  cheek." 

"  Devil  take  it !  I  shall  have  enough  to  do  to 
hold  my  own,  then.  But  at  any  rate  I  am  a  physi- 
cian, and  perhaps  if  I  can  cure  some  of  these  ladies 
of  the  headache  that  may  obtain  me  their  pardon. 
Does  your  wife  have  headaches  ?  " 

"  I  believe  not." 

"  That's  a  pity ;  but  she  may,  later  on." 

There  was  a  numerous  gathering  at  the  house 
of  the  lawyer  Pantalon.  Cesarine's  intimate  friends 
rarely  failed  to  put  in  an  appearance  at  these  even- 
ing parties,  where  they  related  to  each  other  the 
offences  which  their  husbands  had  committed  ; 
sometimes  it  was  not  offences,  but  the  incurable 
foolishness  of  these  gentlemen,  of  which  they  com- 
plained. 

The  result  of  these  mutual  confidences,  these 


78  MADAME  PANTALON 

conferences,  was  ever  the  same  ;  Cesarine  would 
say,— 

"  We  must  change  all  this  !  the  laws  are  badly 
made,  the  places  ill-occupied,  the  professions  car- 
ried on  very  indifferently.  The  parts  are,  in  fact, 
distributed  in  a  very  absurd  manner.  Men  have 
taken  to  themselves  all  the  honorable  employ- 
ments, everything  that  wins  a  recompense,  renown, 
or  favor  —  all  is  for  them.  We  are  cast  into  the 
shade,  as  though  we  were  competent  only  to  care 
for  children,  or  busy  ourselves  with  finery.  It  is 
a  shame  !  these  gentlemen  have  done  us  a  great 
injury !  We  are  all  quite  as  capable  as  are  they  of 
filling  clerkships  in  the  government  and  municipal 
offices,  or  in  a  business  or  bank,  for  I  can  reckon 
like  Bareme  himself. 

"  When  I  said  as  capable,  I  made  a  mistake ; 
I  should  have  said,  more  capable.  We  have  a  hun- 
dred times  more  finesse  in  our  little  fingers  than 
they  have  in  their  whole  bodies.  Can  we  not,  if  we 
wish,  be  advocates,  doctors,  judges,  poets,  authors, 
novelists  ?  In  these  last  professions  women  have 
already  shown  what  they  can  do. 

"  Do  they  doubt  our  courage,  our  adroitness  ? 
Why,  see  how  the  bold  riders  at  1' Hippodrome 
govern  their  horses  and  guide  a  chariot  on  its 
career,  and  tell  me  if  all  your  horsemen  in  the 
Bois-de-Boulogne  are  capable  of  doing  as  they  do  ? 

"  If  it  is  a  question  of  going  to  war,  fighting  the 
enemy,  do  they  think  that  we  do  not  know  how 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK        79 

to  handle  a  sabre,  a  sword,  or  fire  a  pistol  ?  I  re- 
peat, women  were  made  to  be  successful  at  every- 
thing. Need  I  quote  those  women  whose  names 
will  ever  be  illustrious.  I  don't  speak  of  Joan  of 
Arc,  because  she  was  a  glorious  being  set  apart ; 
but  the  great  Catherine  of  Russia,  Elizabeth  of 
England,  Margaret  of  Anjou,  Marie-Therese,  and 
many  others,  have  they  not  proved  that  women 
ought  to  command,  since  they  can  wear  a  crown 
so  nobly  ?  " 

While  Cesarine  stopped  to  take  breath,  the 
Widow  Flambart  exclaimed, — 

"  Yes,  man's  reign  has  lasted  long  enough  ;  the 
masculine  must  give  way  to  the  feminine.  I  have 
had  three  husbands,  and  I  know  how  to  guide  these 
gentlemen.  My  husbands  are  dead,  they  died  on 
my  hands,  but  that  was  not  my  fault ;  if  they  had 
lived  they  would  have  been  model  husbands." 

While  the  ladies  were  talking  thus  among  them- 
selves, the  men  were  conversing  on  business,  the 
stage,  politics,  or  playing  whist  with  some  dowagers 
who  had  not  yet  broken  off  all  intercourse  with  the 
masculine  sex,  and  were  quite  willing  to  take  part 
in  that  game. 

But  M.  Fouillac  was  always  to  be  found  hover- 
ing near  the  camp  of  the  reformers ;  he  approved 
their  plans,  applauded  their  speeches,  and  often 
said, — 

"  I  am  of  your  opinion,  mesdames,  men  are  good 
for  nothing  but  money-making." 


8o  MADAME  PANTALON 

"  To  spend  it  later  on  with  gay  women,"  replied 
Madame  Dutonneau,  "  and  to  walk  about  the 
squares  with  them  !  " 

When  Frederic  and  his  brother  made  their  en- 
trance into  the  drawing-room,  things  were  going 
on  as  we  have  described.  When  the  servant  an- 
nounced, "  Messieurs  Duvassel !  "  Cesarine  raised 
her  head,  the  name  had  struck  her,  although  it  was 
a  long  time  since  she  had  heard  those  who  bore  it 
spoken  of.  But  her  glance  being  directed  towards 
the  persons  who  were  coming  in,  she  immediately 
recognized  Frederic,  and  said  to  her  friends, — 

"This  is  the  gentleman  who,  at  my  wedding 
ball,  advised  my  husband  not  to  waltz  with  Ma- 
dame Boulard." 

The  ladies  all  made  a  movement  of  repulsion, 
as  though  they  saw  Beelzebub  appear ;  and  fat 
Madame  Boulard  immediately  put  her  hand  up  to 
her  chignon,  to  make  sure  that  it  had  not  again 
dropped  off. 

"  What  is  this  gentleman's  occupation  ?  "  in- 
quired Paolina. 

"  He  is  a  doctor,  or  at  least,  gives  himself  out  for 
such.  He's  addicted  to  travelling,  this  doctor." 

"  Then  when  does  he  attend  his  patients  ?  " 

"  He  doesn't  attend  them." 

"  Which  is  perhaps  fortunate  for  them.  A  doc- 
tor who  is  always  travelling,  what  a  curious  anom- 
aly :  you  are  attacked  by  a  grave  malady  ;  you 
send  immediately  for  your  physician,  you  send 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK         81 

word  for  him  to  come  and  see  you  as  quickly  as 
possible,  and  they  answer,  f  The  doctor  is  now  at 
Constantinople ;  but  be  easy,  directly  he  returns, 
I  will  send  him  to  you.' ' 

"That  is  a  doctor  'in  partibus.'  ' 

Frederic  hastened  to  pay  his  respects  to  the  mis- 
tress of  the  house.  Cesarine's  welcome  was  polite 
but  cold. 

"You  will  hardly  recognize  me,  madame,  for  I 
have  as  yet  had  the  pleasure  of  meeting  you  but 
once." 

"  Pardon  me,  monsieur,  I  remember  you  per- 
fectly ;  you  were  at  my  wedding  ball." 

"Yes,  madame." 

"  And  you  had  a  conversation  with  my  husband, 
which  was  very  interesting,  no  doubt,  for  he  would 
not  interrupt  it  to  dance  with  a  lady  who  was  ex- 
pecting him." 

"  Adolphe  is  one  of  my  best  friends,  madame, 
I  had  just  returned  from  a  journey  at  that  time, 
and,  after  being  separated  for  a  long  time,  two  col- 
lege friends  have  always  a  great  deal  to  say.  Be- 
sides, I  think  I  remember  that  Adolphe  was  im- 
parting his  happiness  to  me —  he  was  showing  me 
his  wife." 

Cesarine  could  not  forbear  a  smile.  She  said  to 
her  friends, — 

"  He  is  not  devoid  of  wit." 

"  He  is  all  the  more  dangerous,  then,"  said 
Madame  fetoile. 


Vol.  XXI 


82  MADAME  PANTALON 

"In  regard  to  that  quality,"  said  Olympiade, 
"  my  husband  is  not  at  all  dangerous." 

"  Dutonneau  could  be  as  witty  as  possible  if  he 
pleased,"  sighed  the  magnificent  Armide,  "  but  he 
doesn't  make  use  of  his  wit  with  me ;  he  keeps  it 
to  entertain  his  mistresses." 

"  All  witty  men  are  wicked,"  added  Paolina. 

"  I  am  not  of  your  opinion,  my  dear,"  rejoined 
Cesarine.  "  Long  live  wit !  £  emollit  mores  !  ' 

"Oh,  if  you  speak  Latin  you  are  always  right, 
of  course  ;  we  do  not  understand  it." 

After  greeting  Cesarine,  Gustave  looked  around 
for  Elvina  ;  but  he  could  hardly  recognize  her,  for 
the  timid  little  girl  had  disappeared,  and  was  re- 
placed by  a  tall,  slender  young  lady,  whose  manner 
was  not  so  shy,  nor  were  her  beautiful  eyes  lowered 
as  soon  as  any  one  spoke  to  her. 

However,  her  eyes  had  still  the  charm  that  had 
attracted  Gustave,  he  recognized  them,  and  has- 
tened to  go  and  sit  near  her.  Gustave  could  not 
forbear  saying  to  her, — 

"  By  Jove !  mademoiselle,  I  must  ask  you  to 
pardon  me  for  not  recognizing  you  at  first  —  but 
you  are  so  changed." 

"  So  you  find  me  changed  since  my  brother's 
wedding  ?  But,  remember,  monsieur,  that  was  six- 
teen months  ago,  and  people  may  change  a  good 
deal  in  that  time,  especially  at  seventeen.  Now 
I  am  nearly  eighteen  and  a  half,  I  am  no  longer  a 
child,  I  am  learning  to  ride  a  horse." 


CHARLES  PAUL   DE  KOCK        83 

"  Oh,  you  are  learning  ?  — " 

"  Yes,  my  sister  takes  me  to  the  riding  school." 

"  But  you  were  always  charming,  mademoiselle  ; 
if  you  are  changed,  it  is  for  the  better." 

"  I  have  grown  a  good  deal." 

"  Your  height  is  perfection,  and  if  eyes  could 
grow,  I  should  think  that  yours  had  done  so." 

"  But  you  also  have  changed,  monsieur." 

"  Do  you  think  so,  mademoiselle  ?  " 

"  Yes,  you  are  brown  —  and  then  — " 

"  Well,  and  then  ? " 

"  You  have  a  little  mustache ;  it  seems  to  me, 
you  did  not  have  one  sixteen  months  ago." 

"  That  is  true,  mademoiselle." 

"  Mustaches  look  very  nice,  you  did  well  to  let 
yours  grow." 

Gustave  thought  this  remark  very  singular  from 
a  young  girl ;  but,  nevertheless,  he  continued, — 

"  Mademoiselle,  if  my  person  is  changed,  my 
heart  is  not.  I  have  sweet  memories  of  that  wed- 
ding, that  ball,  where  I  had  the  pleasure  of  dan- 
cing with  you,  they  have  never  left  me,  but  have 
remained  in  my  heart  with  the  image  of —  you  can 
imagine  whom,  can  you  not,  mademoiselle  ?  " 

Young  Elvina  blushed,  she  had  not  yet  learned 
to  laugh  at  a  declaration  of  love;  besides,  Gus- 
tave's  eyes  were  so  eloquent,  his  voice  was  so  ten- 
der, he  seemed  to  feel  what  he  said  so  deeply,  that 
the  heart  of  the  young  girl  beat  faster,  she  was 
quite  moved  and  stammered, — 


84  MADAME  PANTALON 

"  Why,  no,  monsieur,  I  can't  imagine  whom  — 
why  do  you  want  me  to  guess  ? " 

"  That  image  was  yours,  mademoiselle  !  " 

"  Mine!  why,  the  idea !  you  thought  of  me  for 
sixteen  months  ?  " 

*'  When  once  one  loves  any  one,  mademoiselle, 
does  he  not  think  of  her  always  ?  " 

"Why,  I  don't  know  anything  about  it,  mon- 
sieur; you  are  telling  me  things  I  never  heard 
before." 

"  I  am  telling  you  what  I  feel  —  you  believe 
me,  don't  you,  mademoiselle  ? " 

"  Oh,  no,  monsieur;  in  the  first  place,  my  sister 
Cesarine  has  warned  me  that  I  must  never  believe 
what  the  men  tell  me  ;  she  assures  me  that  you  are 
all  untruthful." 

"  Your  sister  wrongs  us  greatly  ;  she  must  have 
been  joking  to  tell  you  that." 

"  No,  she  spoke  quite  seriously." 

"  Does  she  not  wish  you  to  have  a  husband  some 
day,  mademoiselle?" 

"A  husband  —  yes,  perhaps  ;  but  on  condition 
that  he  shall  be  my  slave !  " 

"Well,  then,  charming  Elvina,  it  would  make 
me  very  happy  to  be  yours  —  let  me  hope  you  will 
choose  me  for  your  slave  !  " 

"  Oh,  monsieur,  I  said  slave  ;  but  I  really  think 
that  my  sister-in-law  wanted  to  frighten  me  by 
drawing  a  picture  of  marriage  that  would  give  me 
no  desire  to  dream  of  it.  She  herself  is  not  happy. 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK        85 

Why,  I  don't  know.  It  seems  to  me  my  brother 
is  not  unkind,  and  I  am  certain  he  loves  his  wife. 
Love,  therefore,  does  not  suffice  to  make  a  house- 
hold happy." 

"  It  does  not  suffice  when  it  exists  only  on  one 
side  5  but  when  two  hearts  understand  each  other 
well,  when  a  married  couple  have  perfect  confidence 
in  each  other,  when  their  glances  are  always  meet- 
ing to  melt  into  a  smile,  and  their  hands  to  clasp 
tenderly  —  do  you  not  think,  mademoiselle,  that 
in  such  a  union  is  the  truest,  sweetest  felicity?" 

Adolphe's  sister  hesitated,  to  think  what  she 
should  answer  —  but  Cesarine,  who  thought  she 
had  talked  too  long  with  Frederic's  brother,  called 
her  and  told  her  to  go  to  the  piano,  because  some 
of  the  ladies  wanted  to  hear  her  sing. 

"  Oh,  yes,"  cried  the  Widow  Flambart,  "sing  us 
*  la  Femme  au  barbe  ' !  " 

All  the  men  began  to  laugh,  and  Elvina 
answered, — 

"  I  do  not  know  that  song,  madame." 

"  So  much  the  worse  !  I  shall  learn  it,  and  one 
of  these  evenings  I'll  sing  it  for  you." 

While  the  music  was  going  on,  Adolphe  took 
his  friend  into  a  corner  and  said  to  him, — 

"  Well,  and  how  did  my  wife  receive  you  ?  " 

"  Well  enough,  although  she  hasn't  forgotten 
that  I  prevented  you  from  waltzing  with  Madame 
Boulard." 

"  Ah,  she  has  an  astonishing  memory  !  " 


86  MADAME  PANTALON 

"  And  then  it  quite  seemed  to  me  that  all  these 
ladies  who  surround  your  wife  made  grimaces  at 

n 

me. 

"  They  do  that  to  nearly  all  the  men.  M.  Fouil- 
lac  is  the  only  one  entirely  in  their  good  graces, 
because  he  endorses  all  the  evil  they  say  of  the 
men." 

"  Why,  he's  a  traitor,  is  this  gentleman." 

"  What  he  says  to  these  ladies  is  sometimes  so 
ridiculous  that  I  am  tempted  to  think  he  is  laugh- 
ing at  them,  or  that  he  wishes  to  be  Madame 
Flambart's  fourth  husband." 

"Have  all  the  ladies  who  come  to  your  house 
sworn  to  hate  the  men  ?  It  is  that,  to  speak  frankly, 
which  deprives  your  reunions  of  a  great  part  of  their 
charm." 

"Oh,  no,  thanks  to  heaven !  the  foolish  ideas  that 
disturb  my  wife's  mind,  and  those  of  her  intimate 
friends,  are  not  shared  by  all  the  ladies  who  frequent 
my  house.  Wait !  you  see  that  pretty  fair  woman, 
over  there  to  the  left,  who  is  smiling  at  what  that 
tall  young  man  standing  near  her  is  saying,  she  does 
not  belong  to  the  camp  of  the  Independents." 

"  And  who  are  the  Independents  ?  " 

"  Those  ladies  who  rebel  against  being  called  the 
helpmates  of  man,  who  wish  to  change  everything 
in  the  social  sphere,  and  who  wish  to  fill  the  em- 
ployments which  up  to  the  present  have  been  occu- 
pied by  our  sex.  My  wife  glories  in  being  one  of 
the  warmest  of  the  Independents." 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK         87 

"  By  Jove  !  where  shall  we  be  next?  If  all  the 
women  wish  to  wear  the  breeches,  we  shall  be 
obliged  to  put  on  the  petticoats,  I  suppose." 

"  They  would  be  delighted  at  that.  This  desire 
to  command  is  the  old  story  of  the  fairy  Urgele." 

"  Poor  women  !  they  don't  understand  that  their 
sway  is  far  more  absolute  with  flowing  skirt  and 
tiny  waist,  than  it  is  when  they  assume  the  tone 
and  manners  of  men.  In  copying  the  masculine 
sex  they  lose  all  their  advantages.  But  here  is  my 
brother;  he  has  been  talking  with  your  sister,  and, 
it  seems  to  me,  he  doesn't  look  half  so  happy  as 
when  he  came  here." 

Gustave  came  up  to  the  two  friends,  he  smiled 
at  Adolphe,  but  his  smile  was  not  frank,  it  was 
easily  seen  that  some  contrary  thought  lurked  in 
his  mind. 

"  Well,  future  brother-in-law  !  "  said  Adolphe, 
laughing ;  "  you've  been  talking  with  my  sister ; 
absence  has  not  lessened  your  admiration  for  her." 

"  Oh,  no,  monsieur ;  Mademoiselle  Elvina  is 
still  charming  —  still  amiable  —  only — " 

"Ah,  there  is  an  'only,'  I  was  sure  of  it!"  cried 
Frederic;  "I  recognized  it  before  you  drew  near." 

"  Why,  my  dear  brother,  do  let  me  finish ;  I 
wanted  to  say  that  Mademoiselle  Elvina  is  not  so 
timid,  so  —  what  shall  I  call  it — so  ingenuous  as 
she  used  to  be.  They  have  given  her  singular  ideas 
about  men ;  they've  told  her  she  must  never  believe 
them,  that  they  lie  incessantly — " 


88  MADAME  PANTALON 

"Confound  it!  my  wife  must  have  told  her 
that ! " 

"  Later  on,  when  I  was  declaring  how  very  happy 
it  would  make  me  to  be  her  husband  —  she  an- 
swered that  a  husband  should  be  nothing  but  a 
slave." 

"  Enough,  enough,  Gustave:  they  have  spoiled 
your  young  girl,  who  was  so  sweet,  so  altogether 
pleasing,  sixteen  months  ago.  That  doesn't  suit 
me  at  all  —  a  husband  should  be  nothing  more 
than  a  slave  ;  those  are  charming  ideas  to  put  into 
the  head  of  a  young  woman,  I  shall  not  allow  you 
to  marry  a  girl  imbued  with  those  views." 

"It  was  but  a  joke,  Frederic ;  I  am  quite  sure 
Mademoiselle  Elvina  only  said  that  to  make  me 
laugh." 

"  No,  no,  it  was  not  to  make  you  laugh  —  this 
young  girl  has  acquired  all  her  sister-in-law's  ideas, 
and  in  marrying  she  wants  to  see  them  realized ; 
ask  Adolphe  if  he  has  reason  to  laugh  with  his 
wife." 

"  No,  indeed,"  answered  Adolphe,  heaving  a 
deep  sigh.  "  We  no  longer  laugh,  nor  is  our 
household  a  cheerful  one ;  I  hope  you  will  never 
have  one  like  it." 

"  M.  Pantalon,  your  sister  is  still  young  —  she 
repeats  what  she  hears ;  but  it  will  be  easy  to  lead 
her  to  think  more  reasonably." 

"  She  must  change  devilishly  before  I  shall  let 
you  marry  her !  We  have  Adolphe's  household 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK         89 

before  our  eyes  and  it  ought  to  serve  as  an  exam- 
ple to  us.  After  sixteen  months  of  a  marriage, 
where  the  parties  have  everything  to  make  them 
happy,  here  is  a  couple  who  live  like  cat  and  dog. 
Some  cats,  indeed,  live  very  peaceably  with  dogs; 
while  here  is  a  husband  who  is  treated  like  a  Turk, 
to  whom  they  spare  no  unkind  remarks,  all  because 
he  was  too  good,  too  obliging,  too  foolish,  for  that 
is  the  right  word  —  in  the  early  days  of  his  mar- 
riage. And  you  wish  to  marry  a  young  girl  in 
whom  they  have  inculcated  the  same  ideas.  No, 
my  dear  brother,  that  can  never  be.  The  damsel 
will  desert  the  camp  of  these  ladies  or  you  will 
never  marry  her." 

Gustave  breathed  not  a  word,  but  he  took  a 
position  near  the  piano,  whence  he  could  look  at 
Elvina.  As  to  Frederic,  he  repaired  to  the  card 
room,  not  caring  to  encounter  the  looks  of  the 
independents. 

After  passing  a  couple  of  hours  at  Adolphe 
Pantalon's  the  two  brothers  withdrew ;  Gustave 
quite  saddened  by  the  change  which  had  been 
wrought  in  Elvina's  manners  and  speech,  and 
Frederic  deeply  grieved  at  seeing  his  friend  so 
unhappy  in  his  household. 


CHAPTER  IV 

CHOU-CHOU'S  ESCAPADES.     A  SERIOUS  RESOLU- 
TION 

DURING  the  next  few  weeks  Frederic  continued 
to  frequent  the  gatherings  which  took  place  every 
Thursday  at  his  friend  Pantalon's.  Cesarine  re- 
ceived the  two  brothers  very  coldly;  but  Frederic, 
who  was  determined  to  continue  to  see  his  old  col- 
lege friend  and  observe  the  interior  of  his  house- 
hold, affected  not  to  notice  the  frigidity  with  which 
Madame  Pantalon  greeted  him,  and  was  doubly 
amiable  and  polite  to  that  lady,  which  made 
Cesarine  fume  secretly,  for  she  wished  to  deprive 
her  husband's  friend  of  all  desire  of  continuing 
his  visits. 

Gustave  still  tried  to  talk  with  Elvina,  but  he 
rarely  found  an  opportunity ;  Madame  Pantalon 
was  not  pleased  to  have  the  young  man  court  her 
sister-in-law,  and  took  great  pains  to  prevent  the 
latter  from  talking  for  long  at  a  time  with  Gustave. 
As  soon  as  she  saw  Frederic's  brother  seat  him- 
self beside  Elvina,  she  found  a  pretext  to  inter- 
rupt their  conversation.  She  called  the  young  girl 
and  sent  her  to  the  piano,  or  told  her  that  one  of 
her  friends  wanted  her  for  something. 

90 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK        91 

Elvina  seemed  sometimes  to  regret  leaving  the 
young  man  so  quickly  ;  for  he  looked  so  tenderly 
at  her,  and  was  constantly  telling  her  that  he  adored 
her  ;  but  she  obeyed  her  sister,  who  had  obtained 
so  great  a  dominion  over  her  mind ;  when  by  any 
chance  she  had  stayed  over  long  beside  Gustave, 
Cesarine  never  failed  to  say  to  her, — 

"  My  darling,  it  is  very  unconventional  to  talk 
as  you  do  with  young  Duvassel ;  you  are  foolish 
enough  to  place  faith  in  the  silly  nonsense  he  tells 
you.  That  does  you  no  honor.  All  these  ladies 
are  laughing  at  you,  and  he  will  do  the  same.  In 
the  first  place,  he  is  in  a  very  bad  school ;  his 
brother,  the  so-called  physician,  gives  him  very  bad 
counsel.  It  was  he  who  at  my  wedding  ball  ad- 
vised my  husband  not  to  waltz  with  that  poor 
Madame  Boulard  ;  and  you  know  the  result  of 
that.  These  men  who  meddle  and  interfere  in  their 
friends'  households  are  plagues  who  should  be 
banished  from  society." 

Cesarine's  temper  became  so  haughty,  so  can- 
tankerous, towards  her  husband  that  the  latter  was 
beginning  to  feel  that  he  could  no  longer  stand  his 
wife's  imperious  manners. 

He  spoke  to  her  in  an  authoritative  manner, 
and  then  there  were  scenes,  quarrels ;  bitter  words 
were  addressed  by  madame  to  her  husband,  which 
could  not  but  embitter  the  latter  and  drive  away 
all  hope  of  reconciliation  between  the  married 
couple. 


92  MADAME  PANTALON 

An  incident  which  happened  aggravated  the  sit- 
uation. Adolphe  lost  an  important  case  which  he 
had  flattered  himself  he  should  win.  Instead  of 
consoling  her  husband  for  an  event  which,  after 
all,  must  be  common  enough  in  the  profession  of 
an  advocate,  and  need  not  militate  against  his  suc- 
cess, Cesarine  hastened  in  search  of  Adolphe  and 
said  to  him  in  a  mocking  tone, — 

"  Well,  monsieur,  you  have  lost  your  case  — 
the  one  you  were  so  sure  of  winning  !  " 

"  Yes,  madame,  I  should  have  won  it,  for  my 
side  was  the  righteous  one.  My  client  was  an 
honest  man,  while  his  adversary  is  a  thief.  But, 
unfortunately,  dishonest  men  are  accustomed  to 
have  lawsuits,  they  are  acquainted  with  all  the  re- 
sources of  chicanery.  They  bestir  themselves  in 
looking  for  and  finding  a  means  of  obscuring  a  way 
that  should  be  quite  plain.  An  honest  man,  on 
the  contrary,  sure  of  his  own  right,  rests  tranquil 
as  to  the  result,  takes  no  steps,  and  awaits  the 
issue,  which  he  does  not  for  a  moment  suppose  can 
be  unfavorable  to  him  —  but  l  errare  humanum 
est '  —  it  was  the  thief  who  won  ! " 

"  The  thief  won  because  his  adversary's  advo- 
cate did  not  know  how  to  defend  his  client's  case. 
As  for  that,  you  are  so  well  used  now  to  losing 
the  cases  that  are  confided  to  you,  that  you  should 
not  be  surprised  at  having  lost  this  one." 

"  Not  only  am  I  surprised  at  it,  madame,  but 
I  am  deeply  grieved." 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK         93 

"  What  nonsense,  since  to  lose  them  is  the  best 
you  can  do." 

"  Madame,  when  I  am  called,  professionally,  to 
defend  a  robber,  to  palliate  guilt,  I  do  not  blame 
myself  nor  grieve  in  the  slightest  if  I  lose  my  case; 
on  the  contrary,  I  sometimes  congratulate  myself." 

"  That  is  a  nice  thing  for  an  advocate  to  do  — 
to  congratulate  himself  when  he  has  lost  his  case. 
Oh,  that's  a  very  good  joke,  that  is.  Lundi-Gras 
could  not  reason  better." 

"  I  do  not  know  how  Lundi-Gras  reasons, 
madame ;  but  as  for  you,  you  know  nothing  — 
except  how  to  say  disagreeable  things." 

"  I  have  not  said  enough  of  them  yet,  monsieur ; 
you  must  understand  that  I  am  ashamed  of  being 
the  wife  of  such  an  unsuccessful  lawyer.  Let  me 
plead  in  your  place,  and  you  will  see  how  much 
better  I  should  do." 

"  No,  madame,  I  certainly  shall  not  let  you  plead 
in  my  place,  and  if  you  are  ashamed  of  being  my 
wife,  be  so  no  longer.  Let  us  separate." 

"You  think,  perhaps,  you  will  plunge  me  into 
despair  by  talking  about  a  separation  ;  but  I  have 
been  thinking  of  it  for  a  long  time.  Yes,  monsieur, 
yes,  we  will  separate,  and  I  shall  keep  my  daugh- 
ter, because  a  girl  should  be  brought  up  by  her 
mother.  If  she  were  a  boy  I  would  willingly  leave 
him  with  you ;  but  my  daughter  I  shall  keep." 

Adolphe  did  not  answer ;  he  had  experienced  a 
deep  pang  of  grief  on  hearing  his  daughter  men- 


94  MADAME  PANTALON 

tioned ;  and  he  said  to  himself  that,  for  his  child's 
sake,  he  should,  perhaps,  have  had  more  patience  ; 
is  there  a  sadder  position  than  that  of  a  child  who 
cannot  receive  the  kisses  of  both  father  and  mother  ? 
He  left  Cesarine  without  saying  another  word. 

Some  time  passed,  the  couple  did  not  speak. 
Cesarine  made  a  pretence  of  avoiding  her  hus- 
band's presence ;  and  when  young  Elvina  asked 
her  why  she  was  estranged  from  Adolphe,  she  only 
answered, — 

"  My  dear,  I  probably  have  reasons  for  acting 
thus  toward  your  brother.  I  have  plans  which  I 
am  presently  going  to  act  upon,  to  put  into  exe- 
cution. I  am  thinking  of  the  emancipation  of 
woman." 

"  The  emancipation  ?  " 

"Yes,  that  woman  may  recover  her  civil  and 
political  rights." 

"  I  don't  understand  what  you  mean." 

"  There  is  no  need  that  you  should  understand. 
Allow  yourself  to  be  guided  by  me,  and  you  will 
find  everything  as  it  should  be." 

Nothing  further  was  said,  but  this  apparent  calm 
was  but  the  precursor  of  the  tempest.  The  storm 
was  secretly  brewing  in  the  households  of  these 
ladies  who  wanted  to  be  Independents.  It  was  to 
Cesarine  that  they  came  to  tell  their  tales  of  woe, 
and  she  listened  with  joy  to  these  confidences 
because  she  saw  the  realization  of  her  plans  ap- 
proaching. 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK        95 

So,  during  the  daytime,  these  ladies  came  to 
Cesarine  to  complain  of  their  husbands. 

Madame  fetoile  came  with  compressed  lips  and 
spite  in  her  eyes ;  she  came  into  Madame  Panta- 
lon's,  exclaiming, — 

"  It  is  unbelievable  ;  really,  it  is  incredible." 

"  What  is  it  now,  my  dear  ?  "  asked  Cesarine, 
making  Madame  Etoile  sit  down  on  a  sofa.  "  You 
seem  very  much  irritated." 

"  You  shall  see  if  I  have  not  reason  to  be  so  ; 
I  knew  very  well  that  my  husband  was  not  an 
eagle — in  the  first  place  one  rarely  finds  an  eagle 
among  these  gentlemen." 

"  A  «  rara  avis  ' !  " 

"  Ah,  my  dear,  I  am  a  poet,  but  I  never  studied 
Latin  ;  I  look  upon  that  dead  language  as  an  am- 
plification of  vocabulary  very  useless  for  literary 
women." 

"  Come,  go  on  with  what  you  were  about  to  say." 

"  I  was  saying  that  my  husband  is  by  no  means 
an  eagle ;  but  I  did  not  believe  him  to  be  a  buz- 
zard. Well,  he  is  —  a  buzzard  of  the  very  worst 
kind,  too.  You  know,  I  have  just  finished  a  poem 
on  the  differences  that  exist  between  a  man  and  a 
hare ;  and,  as  you  may  imagine,  all  the  advan- 
tages are  on  the  side  of  the  hare.  It  is  pleasing, 
it  has  an  aroma,  I  was  careful  about  that,  I  put  my 
whole  heart  into  it.  I  dare  believe  that  it  was  per- 
fectly successful ;  as  for  that,  you  can  judge  of  it, 
for  I  will  read  it  to  you  one  of  these  evenings." 


96  MADAME  PANTALON 

«  Well,  go  on." 

"  I  was  good  enough  to  wish  to  give  M.  fetoile 
the  first  sight  of  this  piece ;  I  read  him  my  poem, 
but  I  had  only  got  through  half  of  it  when  this 
Welshman  —  this  Hottentot  —  rose  and  said  to 
me,  *  What  stupid  stuff  are  you  reading  to  me  ? 
Thanks  !  I've  had  enough  of  it ! '  and  he  went 
out." 

"  That  was  not  polite  ! " 

"  You  mean  that  it  was  the  height  of  imperti- 
nence. I  cannot  live  with  a  man  who  doesn't 
understand  poetry.  I  have  warned  M.  Etoile  that 
I  shall  leave  him." 

"  You  have  quite  resolved  on  it  ?  " 

"  Altogether." 

"  Very  well,  we  will  all  go  together,  we  will  estab- 
lish the  tribe  of  Independents." 

"Bravo!  bravissima!  the  Independents.  That 
name  is  delightful,  it  savors  of  romance,  of  the 
melodrama.  They  will  write  a  play  on  us.  I  be- 
lieve there  was  formerly  a  drama  entitled :  *  Robert, 
the  Brigand  Chief,'  which  had  an  immense  success  ; 
but  that  was  in  the  time  of  the  First  Republic  ;  we 
can  none  of  us  have  seen  that.  I  am  quite  sur- 
prised that  the  piece  has  not  been  resuscitated  in  our 
day.  I  have  the  letter  press,  which  is  very  rare." 

"  Tell  me,  if  you  please,  dear  lady,  what  con- 
nection you  find  between  us  and  '  Robert  the  Brig- 
and Chief?'" 

"  Why,  Robert  did  not  believe  in  being  the  chief 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK         97 

of  the  brigands,  he  called  his  men  the  'Independ- 
ents.' They  were  redressers  of  wrongs,  a  kind  of 
free-justices." 

"  Why  don't  you  say  at  once  illuminants  ?  " 

"  Illuminants,  now  there  is  a  pretty  name  ;  what 
if,  instead  of  Independents,  we  call  ourselves  illu- 
minants ?  What  do  you  think  of  it?  That  would 
please  me  more  than  I  can  say.  I  am  an  illumi- 
nant." 

"No,  that  would  border  on  the  jocular,  the  gen- 
tlemen would  be  capable  of  calling  after  us,  ( The 
Lanterns  !  the  Lanterns  ! '  Believe  me,  we  had 
better  content  ourselves  with  the  name  '  Inde- 
pendents.' ' 

After  Madame  fetoile  came  Madame  Bouche- 
trou,  who  was  furious  because  her  husband  would 
not  don  his  little  jester's  mantle,  and  asserted  that 
he  should  wear  only  clothes  of  the  latest  fashion. 

"  He's  becoming  quite  foppish,  is  he  not  ?"  said 
Cesarine. 

"  Outrageously  so.  You  know  how  pock- 
marked he  is." 

"  Oh,  yes." 

"  Well,  would  you  believe  it  ?  he  wants  to  get 
vaccinated  now." 

"  Good  heavens  !  what  for?" 

"  Somebody  has  told  him  that  if  he  had  the 
smallpox  a  second  time,  it  would  cause  the  first 
pock-marks  to  disappear." 

"  And  he  believed  that  ?  " 


Vol.  XXI 


98  MADAME  PANTALON 

"  Yes,mesdames,and  he's  going  to  be  vaccinated, 
and  to  dress  like  a  gay  young  spark.  I  said  to 
him,  '  Bouchetrou,  if  you  do  so  I'll  leave  you'; 
and  do  you  know  what  he  answered  ?  — t  That's  of 
no  consequence  to  me  ! ' ' 

"Why,  on  the  part  of  a  man  pock-marked  as  he 
is,  that  was  shameful." 

The  enormously  large  Madame  Dutonneau  was 
not  long  in  arriving  to  mingle  her  wails  with  those 
of  her  friends.  She  came  in  out  of  breath,  suffo- 
cating, and  sank  into  a  chair  which  creaked  under 
herweight;  it  was  some  time  before  she  could  speak. 
Cesarine  brought  her  a  glass  of  water,  which  she 
drank  at  a  gulp.  At  length  she  was  able  to  express 
herself. 

"  Madame,  my  husband  is  a  monster  !  a  scoun- 
drel !  an  infamous  wretch  !  " 

"  That  is  nothing  new  !  you've  told  us  so  before, 
dearest." 

"  Yes,  but  what  I  have  not  told  you  is  that  now 
I  have  discovered  his  intrigues,  he's  a  regular  Sar- 
danapalus  —  he  has  a  mistress !  he  has  two  mis- 
tresses !  he  has  three  mistresses  !" 

"  So  many  as  that  ?  That's  going  it  pretty 
strong ! " 

"You  may  judge  from  that,  if  I  ought  not  to  feel 
disconsolate.  Lately,  finding  that  Chou-chou's 
absences  were  becoming  longer  and  more  frequent, 
I  pretended  to  be  indisposed ;  he  went  out,  and  I 
followed  him.  He  had  told  me  he  was  going  to 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK        99 

play  a  game  of  dominos  at  the  Cafe  de  la  Rotonde. 
I  will  make  a  clean  breast  of  it.  He  reached  the 
Boulevard  Sebastopol —  that  was  not  the  way  to 
the  Palais-Royal.  I  said  to  myself,  '  He's  not 
going  to  look  for  the  double-six  down  there,  I'll 
wager  that  he  is  going  to  some  one  of  the  squares.' 
Sure  enough,  he  stopped  at  the  Square  des  Arts- 
et-Metiers,  it's  the  meeting  place  of  all  the  maid- 
servants in  the  neighborhood.  I  said  to  myself, 
f  Will  Chou-chou  do  anything  so  derogatory  as  to 
flirt  with  a  dishcloth,  he  who  is  always  redolent  of 
perfume.' ' 

"  But  no,  it  was  a  grisette  who  came,  for  there 
are  some  of  them  still  —  these  cursed  grisettes  ! 
Although  it  is  asserted  that  the  race  has  disappeared 
with  that  of  pug  dogs.  It  is  not  true;  there  are 
no  more  pug  dogs,  but  there  are,  ?.nd  there  always 
will  be,  embroideresses,  burnishers,  flower-makers, 
illuminators,  shirtmakers,  vestmakers,  churners, 
shoebinders,  staymaker's  apprentices,  underwear- 
makers  and  milliners.  Surely  you  would  not  put  all 
these  damsels  in  the  category  of  fast  women  ?  and 
how  would  you  name  them,  if  they  are  not  grisettes  ? " 

"Why,  work-women." 

"  Yes,  those  who  stay  closely  at  their  work ;  but 
those  who  want  to  amuse  themselves,  go  to  the 
theatre,  to  the  restaurants  and  dance  at  the  Clos- 
erie  des  Lilas  — " 

*  Come,  drop  the  grisettes,  and  come  back  to 
your  husband." 


ioo  MADAME  PANTALON 

<c  I  amcomingto  him — the  monster !  Thegrisette 
came  straight  to  Chou-chou,"  continued  Madame 
Dutonneau,  "  she  was  a  tow-headed  blonde  with 
one  ot  those  meaningless  faces,  fresh-colored,  per- 
haps, but  not  so  much  as  me  ;  in  short,  the  beauty 
of  youth.  Would  you  believe  that  this  jade  went 
right  up  to  my  husband,  deliberately  took  his  arm, 
smiled  at  him,  and  welcomed  him  by  making  a 
saucy  grimace  ?  You  may  imagine  what  I  felt  at 
that  moment." 

"  You  pounced  on  your  husband  and  tore  the 
girl  from  his  arm." 

"  That  was  what  I  was  going  to  do,  when  I  was 
prevented  by  something  I  had  not  foreseen." 

"  Your  foot  caught  ?  you  slipped  ?  " 

"In  the  first  place,  I  never  slip,  but  I  could  not 
pounce  on  Chou-chou  because  I  was  separated  from 
him  by  a  basin  filled  with  water.  You  know  those 
basins  they  have  in  that  square.  I  was  about  to  go 
round  this  obstacle  when  I  saw  another  grisette,  a 
dark  one  this  time,  with  a  bright  sparkling  face 
and  a  bold  expression,  she  went  up  to  the  group 
I  was  watching,  they  smiled  at  her  and  shook  hands 
with  her,  and  she  took  my  husband's  other  arm." 

"  That  made  one  on  each  arm." 

"  I  was  suffocating,  I  knew  not  what  I  was  doing. 
In  my  anger  I  no  longer  saw  the  basin  of  water 
that  separated  me  from  Chou-chou  and  I  think  I 
was  about  to  cross  it  as  if  it  were  a  grass-plot.  But 
a  new  surprise  awaited  me,  a  third  grisette  went 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK       101 

towards  the  infamous  trio  ;  the  last  one  was  a  pale 
woman  with  chestnut  hair  verging  towards  red  and 
with  half-open  eyes  like  an  expiring  carp.  She 
smiled  at  that  scoundrel  of  a  Chou-chou  —  " 

"  She  could  not  take  his  arm,  since  they  were 
both  engaged." 

"  That  was  just  what  I  said  to  myself,  and  I  was 
curious  to  see  what  she  was  going  to  do.  But  it 
seemed  that  these  impudent  minxes  were  ac- 
quainted, for  the  newcomer  immediately  took  the 
fair  one's  arm,  and  they  went  off,  all  four  of  them 
in  a  rov." 

"  What  did  you  do  then  ?  " 

"  I  followed  the  quartette ;  I  said  to  myself, 
'  Let's  see  what  my  Joconde  is  going  to  do  with 
his  conquests.' ' 

"He  was  taking  them  to  the  theatre  ?  " 

"  Not  a  bit  of  it ;  that  would  have  been  too 
tame.  He  took  them  to  a  restaurant,  yes,  I  saw 
them,  all  four,  go  into  a  restaurant  in  the  Rue 
Saint-Martin  and  stop  in  a  room  on  the  ground- 
floor.  It  is  scandalous  !  " 

"Pardon  me,  Madame  Dutonneau," said  Cesar- 
ine,  "  I  don't  say  this  to  excuse  your  husband,  but 
it  seems  to  me  that  a  party  of  pleasure  with  three 
ladies  is  less  criminal  than  a  meeting  with  one 
alone." 

"Less  criminal — when  he  takes  three  grisettes 
to  a  restaurant.  Why,  just  think  of  all  they  would 
eat,  the  hussies !  These  women  devour  everything 


102  MADAME  PANTALON 

before  them,  and  they  must  have  omelettes  soufflees 
and  champagne.  That's  where  our  money  goes. 
As  for  me,  he  thinks  I'm  a  gourmand  if  I  only  ask 
for  eel  a  la  Tartare.  You  can  imagine  that  I  did  not 
wish  to  compromise  myself  with  these  damsels,  I 
should  have  been  called  all  sorts  of  names ;  so 
I  went  back  home,  and  there  awaited  the  return 
of  the  culprit.  I  told  him  what  I  had  seen,  and 
I  finished  by  avowing  that  I  had  decided  to  separate 
from  him,  that  I  could  live  no  longer  with  a  man 
who  passed  all  his  time  in  the  squares,  and  who 
could  be  met  with  three  women  on  his  arms  — 
three  women  whom  he  was  taking  to  dinner  in  a 
restaurant." 

"Very  good!" 

"And  the  rascal  answered,  *  Don't  be  alarmed, 
I  shan't  run  after  you.' ' 

After  Madame  Dutonneau  came  Madame  Ves- 
puce,  Madame  Grassouillet  and  many  others  who 
shared  Cesarine's  ideas,  and  who  wished  to  free 
themselves  from  all  obedience  to  the  will  of  their 
husbands  and  to  occupy  the  same  positions  in  the 
world  as  those  now  held  by  men. 

Madame  Boulard  took  part  in  the  conferences 
of  the  Independents ;  since  she  had  lost  her  chig- 
non in  waltzing,  she  asserted  that  all  the  men  ought 
to  have  their  heads  shaved  and  wear  only  a  little 
pigtail  like  the  Chinese. 

And  lastly  the  Widow  Flambart  was  no  less 
ardent  in  demanding  a  reform  in  the  customs  of 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK       103 

society ;  where,  she  asserted,  women  ought  to  gov- 
ern, keep  the  cash-box  and  make  the  laws. 

When  Madame  Pantalon  was  sure  of  having 
a  great  number  of  allies,  she  thus  addressed  them, — 

"  Have  you  quite  decided  to  second  my  efforts  ; 
to  work  for  the  emancipation  of  woman,  to  place 
her,  in  fact,  on  the  same  level  as  man  —  until  such 
time  as  we  can  place  her  above  that  level  ? " 

All  the  ladies  answered,  with  a  unanimity  which 
is  exceedingly  rare, — 

"  Yes,  yes,  we  have  quite  decided  to  cast  in  our 
lots  with  you." 

"  Do  you  recognize  me  as  the  head  of  this  en- 
terprise ? " 

"  Most  assuredly." 

"  You  will  obey  me  as  such  ?  " 

"  That  is  a  matter  of  course." 

"  You  swear  it  ?  " 

"  Is  it  really  necessary  to  swear  ?  " 

"  Well,  scarcely,  for  I  have  noticed  that  in  soci- 
ety an  oath  binds  one  to  nothing." 

"  Then  we  won't  swear." 

"  That  is  the  surer  way,  you  will  be  bound  only 
by  your  will,  which  ought  to  be  much  stronger  than 
any  oath." 

"  It  is  an  initiatory  reform,"  cried  Madame  Flam- 
bart,  "and  we  declare  that  henceforth  no  one  shall 
swear,  either  in  business  or  elsewhere." 

"  That  being  settled,  mesdames ;  listen  atten- 
tively to  me." 


io4  MADAME  PANTALON 

"  We  are  all  ears." 

"  Make  your  preparations  as  though  you  were 
going  on  a  long  journey,  bring  all  your  gowns,  all 
your  jewelry,  bring  money,  if  you  have  it,  those 
who  have  none  must  do  without  it ;  I  shall  take 
you  to  a  place  where  you  will  have  no  need  to 
spend  any." 

"  And  where,  pray,  is  this  fortunate  spot  ?  " 

"  Why,  in  Bretigny,  to  be  sure ;  at  my  uncle's, 
the  captain's  chateau." 

"  And  he  will  be  quite  willing  to  receive  us,  to 
entertain  us  all  ?  " 

"  He  will  be  delighted  to  do  so.  I  wrote  to  him, 
to  inform  him  of  my  intentions,  my  plans  ;  this  is 
what  M.  de  Vabeaupont  answers.  You  are  listen- 
ing, are  you  not  ?  " 

"  Certainly,  we  are." 

"  I  see  Madame  Vespuce  over  there,  talking 
with  Madame  Grassouillet.  When  I  am  speaking 
I  do  not  wish  any  one  to  talk." 

"  Good  heavens  !  my  dear  lady,"  said  Madame 
Vespuce,  "  I  was  only  asking  Madame  Grassouil- 
Jet  if  she  knew  where  Bretigny  is  situated." 

"  And  I  answered  Madame  Vespuce  that  I  knew 
no  more  than  she." 

"  Mesdames,  you  should  have  asked  me  that 
question  —  I  should  have  told  you  that  Bretigny 
is  in  Picardy,  a  few  leagues  from  Noyon." 

"  And  is  Noyon  far  from  Paris  ?  " 

"  Somewhere  about  twenty-six  leagues.    It  is  an 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK       105 

old,  historic  town,  and  was  for  some  time  the  capi- 
tal of  Charlemagne's  empire ;   that  monarch  was 
crowned  there  in  887.    The  Normans  took  it,  and 
pillaged  it.     It  has  been  burned  six  times,  and  it 
was   there  that   Francis  I  concluded  a  treaty  of 
peace  with  Charles  XV  in  1516.    Later  on  — •" 
"  Enough  of  history  !  " 
"  Yes,  we  want  to  hear  the  captain's  letter." 
"  Then  don't  interrupt  me  again,  and  I   will 
read  it." 

MY  DEAR  NIECE. —  You  tell  me  you  have  formed  great  plans, 
that  you  wish  your  sex  to  take  all  the  places  which  the  men  have 
thought  fit  to  limit  to  themselves,  and  you  ask  that  you  may 
come,  with  your  friends  who  wish  to  second  your  enterprise,  to 
establish  yourselves  with  me  at  Bretigny. 

By  all  the  powers,  my  dear,  you  could  not  offer  me  a  greater 
pleasure.  I'm  as  doleful  as  an  old  dismasted  ship,  here  in  my 
chateau,  where  I  am  nailed  by  the  gout,  and  no  one  with  whom 
to  associate  but  Lundi-Gras,  who  can't  learn  piquet  and  who 
cheats  me  at  dominos. 

Come,  with  your  friends  ;  if  there  were  a  battalion  of  you, 
I  should  be  able  to  lodge  and  entertain  and  feed  you  well.  I 
have  weapons  and  powder  also  ;  you  can  hunt,  run  about  the 
mountains  and  woods,  and  forage  the  country  ;  the  more  you 
play  the  devil,  the  better  I  shall  like  it  ;  for  it  will  remind  me  of 
my  own  young  days.  Come,  Cesarine,  fire  from  starboard  and 
larboard  !  Come  as  soon  as  possible  with  your  recruits.  I  shall 
expect  you. 

"  Well,  ladies,  what  do  you  say  to  this  letter  ?  " 

"  It  is  as  warm  as  one  could  wish." 

"  It  has  some  vim." 

"It  proves  that  you  will  be  well  received." 


io6  MADAME  PANTALON 

"  Then,  it  is  settled  that  we  go  to  Bretigny  ?  " 

"  When  shall  we  start  ?  " 

"  I  cannot  give  you  the  exact  date,  but  it  will 
be  an  early  one.  I  am  only  waiting  an  occasion 
for  telling  M.  Pantalon  that  there  is  an  incompati- 
bility of  temper  between  us  and  that  we  can  no 
longer  live  together.  I  already  feel  assured  that 
he  will  not  put  the  slightest  obstacle  in  the  way  of 
our  separation.  So  I  warn  you  to  hold  yourselves 
in  readiness ;  it  is  all  I  ask  of  you." 

"  And  what  about  your  young  sister-in-law  ?  " 

"  Elvina  ?  She  goes  with  us,  as  a  matter  of 
course.  She  shares  our  ideas ;  but  I  have  said 
nothing  to  her  as  yet  of  our  approaching  depart- 
ure for  Bretigny,  because  at  her  age  one  does  not 
always  know  how  to  keep  a  secret." 

"  And  can  we  receive  M.  Fouillac  at  Bretigny?" 

"  I  think  we  may  receive  him  there.  M.  Fouil- 
lac is  quite  devoted  to  us ;  he  is  the  first  to  encour- 
age us  in  our  plans  for  the  emancipation  of  our  sex." 

"Yes,  and  then  he  may  be  useful  to  us  when 
we  need  something  from  Paris." 

"  That  is  so  ;  we'll  make  him  our  messenger." 

The  ladies  then  separated. 

Elvina  was  well  aware  that  conferences  were 
taking  place  in  her  sister-in-law's  room,  and  that 
she  was  not  invited  to  take  part  in  them  ;  but 
she  dared  not  ask  Cesarine  what  she  was  plotting 
with  her  intimate  friends. 

The  young  girl's  heart  was  agitated  by  various 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK       107 

emotions;  and  although  she  repeated  to  herself  that 
she  should  not  think  of  Gustave,  that  she  must  not 
believe  a  word  he  said,  that  men  sought  only  to 
betray  women  into  caring  for  them  and  then 
laughed  at  those  who  had  listened  to  them,  Gus- 
tave's  sweet  words  and  loving  glances  often  recurred 
to  her  thoughts,  and  then  she  would  say  to  herself, — 

"  It  is  a  pity,  though,  that  one  must  not  listen 
to  what  it  gives  one  so  much  pleasure  to  hear." 

The  occasion  expected  so  impatiently  by  Ma- 
dame Pantalon  was  not  long  in  presenting  itself. 

A  young  stockbroker's  clerk,  in  whom  Adolphe 
had  great  confidence,  and  whom  he  consulted  when 
he  wanted  to  make  purchases  at  the  Bourse,  had 
informed  him  of  an  advantageous  investment  that 
was  open  to  anyone  having  funds  at  his  disposal 
and  Adolphe  had  put  thirty  thousand  francs  in  his 
hands.  But  the  young  man  to  whom  he  had  con- 
fided his  funds  made  off  one  fine  morning,  carry- 
ing with  him  the  sums  with  which  he  had  been 
entrusted. 

Cesarine  read  this  news  in  the  paper  and  hur- 
ried in  search  of  her  husband.  He  was  fully  aware 
of  the  loss  he  had  sustained,  but  had  not  thought 
it  necessary  to  speak  of  it  to  his  wife.  Madame 
Pantalon  approached  her  husband  with  the  mock- 
ing air  that  had  become  habitual  to  her ;  she  held 
in  her  hand  the  paper  in  which  she  had  just  read 
of  the  vexatious  event. 

"  Monsieur,  have  you  heard  lately  from  that 


io8  MADAME  PANTALON 

\ 

honest  M.  Durimart,  in  whom  you  placed  so  much 

confidence  ?  " 

"  Why  do  you  ask  me  that,  madame  ?  " 
"  Because,  if  you  have  not,  I  can  give  you  some 
news  of  him,  which  I  find  in  this  paper.  This 
gentleman  whom  you  thought  so  honest,  and  to 
whom  you  have  entrusted  thirty  thousand  francs, 
—  that  was  the  amount,  I  believe,  that  you  gave 
him  ?  " 

"  Yes,  madame,  that  was  the  sum." 
"  Well,  the  gallant  man  has  fled.    He  has  gone 
off  with  his  dupes'  money." 
"  I  know  it." 

u  Oh, you  knew  it,  and  you  said  nothing  to  me  ? " 
"  What  was  the  use  of  saying  anything  ?  " 
"  What  was  the  use,  do  you  say  ?  you  mean  by 
that,  that  you  might  ruin  yourself,  lose  all  your 
fortune,  and  I  should  not  know  what  was  going 
on  ?    That  is  too  much  !   It  is  quite  time  that  this 
should  be  ended.    I  can  stay  no  longer  with  a  man 
who  neither  knows  how  to  win  a  case  nor  invest 
his  money.     We  must  separate,  monsieur." 

"  As  for  that,  madame,  nothing  would  suit  me 
better ;  not  that  I  recognize  your  right  to  address 
a  single  reproach  to  me  in  regard  to  this  last  affair, 
for  the  loss  I  have  sustained  has  nothing  to  do 
with  you  ;  the  money  I  lost  was  not  yours,  it  was 
mine.  I  have  not  touched  your  dowry  since  we 
were  married  —  I  neither  wished  nor  needed  to. 
Today  you  may  take  your  money  back,  it  is  still 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK       109 

intact  at  your  lawyer's,  and  I  am  delighted  to  be 
able  to  restore  it  to  you.  What  I  possess  myself 
will  be  amply  sufficient  for  me  if  I  live  alone.  You 
want  to  keep  your  daughter — so  be  it,  she  will  per- 
haps be  better  under  her  mother's  care;  but  I  hope 
that  you  will  allow  her  sometimes  to  come  and  kiss 
her  father. 

"  Let  us  separate,  then,  madame,  but  without 
noise,  without  taking  legal  steps,  without  scandal, 
as  well-bred  people  ought  to  do.  You  wish  that 
a  woman  should  have  all  the  privileges  of  a  man ; 
you  do  not  understand  how  she  could  be  submis- 
sive, kind,  and  gentle  to  her  husband ;  and  I  mar- 
ried in  the  hope  of  having  a  pleasant  domestic  life, 
a  peaceable  household,  and  a  companion  who  would 
make  me  happy,  who  would  even  love  me  a  little. 
We  were  both  mistaken.  Let  us  separate  as 
speedily  as  may  be.  I  wish  you  all  happiness, 
madame,  and  I  assure  you  I  shall  not  trouble  you." 

So  saying  Adolphe  departed,  leaving  his  wife 
rather  dumfounded  at  the  quiet  and  resolute  tone 
with  which  he  had  welcomed  their  separation.  But 
soon  the  thought  of  the  new  kind  of  life  she  was 
going  to  lead  inflamed  her  imagination  and  she  ran 
to  tell  Elvina. 

"Make  your  preparations,  pack  your  belongings, 
for  we  are  going  away  in  two  days." 

"  Are  we  going  to  travel  with  my  brother  ?  " 

"Not  at  all,  there  is  no  question  of  your  brother 
—  we  have  separated,  I  have  left  him." 


no  MADAME  PANTALON 

"  Good  heavens  !     Why  was  that  ?  " 

"  Why,  because  we  could  no  longer  live  to- 
gether ;  you  must  have  seen  that." 

"  But,  then  —  to  leave  my  brother  !  " 

"  Oh,  if  you  would  rather  stay  with  him  than 
come  with  me,  you  have  the  right  to  do  so.  But, 
my  little  innocent,  remember  that  with  me  and  all 
the  ladies  who  will  accompany  me,  you  will  lead  a 
new  life ;  for  we  are  going  to  be  free,  be  our  own 
mistresses,  do  nothing  but  follow  our  own  wishes." 

"  Really  !     Where  are  we  going,  then  ?  " 

"  To  Bretigny,  to  my  uncle's  chateau,  the  cap- 
tain, you  know,  who  is  delighted  to  receive  us." 

"  And  are  we  going  there  for  a  long  stay  ? " 

"  Forever." 

"  That  is  indeed  long !  and  what  shall  we  do 
with  ourselves  there  ?  " 

"Don't  be  uneasy,  we  are  not  likely  to  be  bored; 
I'll  teach  you  to  ride  a  horse,  drill,  and  use  the 
sword,  the  sabre,  and  the  pistol.  We  shall  hunt, 
fish,  jump  hedges,  and  even  flog  the  peasants  if 
they  are  impudent.  In  fact,  we  are  going  to  live 
the  same  happy  vagabond  life  that  the  men  do — 
it  will  be  delightful." 


CHAPTER   V 

THE  INDEPENDENTS  ON  THEIR  JOURNEY. 
CHOICE  OF  A  UNIFORM 

HAVING  thus  characteristically  and  promptly 
answered  his  niece's  letter,  Captain  de  Vabeaupont, 
who  was  seated  in  his  big  armchair,  with  one  of  his 
legs  raised  upon  a  stool,  took  up  a  speaking-trumpet 
which  was  placed  on  a  table  beside  him,  and  which 
served  him  in  place  of  a  bell.  The  speaking- 
trumpet  was  the  one  he  had  used  to  give  his  orders 
to  his  sailors,  and  it  was  so  resonant  that  when  the 
old  seaman  put  it  to  his  mouth  his  voice  could  be 
heard  from  one  end  of  the  chateau  to  the  other. 

The  former  cabin  boy  did  not  come  running, 
because  his  legs  were  beginning  to  lose  their  agility ; 
but  he  came,  as  speedily  as  was  possible  to  him,  at 
the  sound  of  the  speaking-trumpet  and  placed  him- 
self in  front  of  his  master. 

"  Lundi-Gras,"  said  the  latter  to  him,  "  Sum- 
mon the  household,  pipe  all  hands  up  ! " 

"  All  hands,  captain  ?  " 

"  Yes,  I  have  some  orders  to  give." 

"  Must  I  bring  the  dogs  up,  too  ?  " 

"You  idiot!" 

"  They  belong  to  the  household,  don't  they  ? " 


112 

"  It  is  my  people  that  I  want.  Come,  sheer  off, 
old  hulk !  " 

The  captain's  household  was  composed  at  that 
time  —  aside  from  Lundi-Gras  —  of  a  rather  aged 
gardener,  his  daughter  Nanon,  a  stupid,  idle, 
greedy  young  peasant  of  sixteen,  and  Martine,  a  fat, 
motherly  body  of  thirty-six,  who  was  an  excellent 
cook,  and  for  that  reason  was  highly  esteemed  by 
M.  de  Vabeaupont. 

"Captain,  here  they  are,"  cried  Lundi-Gras, 
leading  in  the  whole  household  staff,  "  give  your 
orders  to  them." 

"  My  friends,"  said  the  old  sailor,  "  I  called  you 
here  to  tell  you  that  I  expect  a  large  party  of  visit- 
ors whom  my  niece  will  bring  with  her." 

"I'm  glad  of  that,"  said  the  cook,  "  I  can  now 
get  up  great  feasts  —  I  shall  be  able  to  show  you 
what  I  can  do." 

"Yes,  Martine,  yes;  you  must  distinguish  your- 
self, invent  some  new  dishes,  delicacies  in  particu- 
lar; for  they  are  ladies  who  are  coming  —  ladies 
only." 

"  Pshaw  !  not  even  one  little  man  ?  " 

"  Not  the  smallest  sort  of  a  man.  Nanon,  you 
will  have  to  make  the  bedrooms  ready  —  a  good 
many  bedrooms." 

"  Will  not  these  ladies  bring  their  servants  ?  " 

"  My  niece  will  bring  her  lady's  maid,  of  course, 
but  I  see  no  necessity  for  the  others  to  bring  theirs. 
Flanquet,  you  must  make  your  garden  shipshape, 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK       113 

and  get  some  good  vegetables  and  fruits  ready  for 
us  to  use." 

"  Fruits  !  vegetables  !  why,  captain,  it  is  only 
May  now.  We  can't  push  these  things,  we  have 
to  wait  for  them." 

"Well,  look  out  for  it  all  —  and  your  flowers 
too  —  women  are  so  fond  of  flowers  !  " 

"  Oh,  yes,  but  they  are  always  picking  them — 
they  devastate  the  flower-beds." 

"  Let  them  pick  them,  let  them  devastate  all 
they  please ;  I  order  you  to  do  so,  and  not  to  com- 
plain. You,  Nanon,  will  see  that  the  poultry-yard 
is  well  stocked,  and  that  there  are  plenty  of  eggs 
in  the  henhouse." 

"When  the  hens  won't  lay,  I  can't  make  them.'* 

"  No,  but  when  they  do  lay  eggs,  you  need  not 
go  and  take  them  and  suck  them  while  they  are 
still  quite  warm." 

"Oh,  captain,  it  was  M.  Lundi-Gras  told  you 
that,  but  it  isn't  true." 

"  Lundi-Gras  told  me  nothing ;  but  if  I  can't 
walk,  I  can  see  what  goes  on  very  well  from  my 
windows." 

"  What's  that  Nanon  saying  ?  —  that  I  spoke 
to  you  about  the  eggs  ?  " 

"  That'll  do !  Thunderation  !  you  needn't  stick 
in  your  oar.  You  have  all  heard  my  orders  ;  let 
every  one  obey  them." 

The  staff  departed  in  a  sufficiently  bad  humor, 
except  the  cook,  who  loved  her  art  and  was 

Vol.  XXI 


n4  MADAME  PANTALON 

rejoiced  to  have  an  opportunity  of  displaying  her 
culinary  talent.  But  Mademoiselle  Nanon,  who 
was  as  idle  as  she  was  greedy,  said,  shaking  her 
head  angrily, — 

"  Get  bedrooms  ready  for  a  pack  of  women,  in- 
deed —  thank  you  !  I  should  have  a  nice  time  of 
it !  And  then  women  are  never  contented,  one  can 
never  make  a  bed  to  suit  them.  There's  always 
something  to  do  over  again.  I  shan't  make  them 
at  all,  that  will  be  the  easiest  way  out  of  it." 

"  And  my  garden.  They'll  make  a  nice  garden 
of  it  for  me,"  grumbled  Father  Flanquet.  "They'll 
pick  all  the  flowers,  they're  quite  capable  of  not 
leaving  a  single  one  on  its  stalk,  they  will  eat  the 
cherries  before  they  are  ripe,  they'll  step  on  my 
borders,  they'll  crush  my  asparagus  and  my  early 
peas.  A  party  of  women  in  a  beautiful  garden  like 
mine  !  I'd  rather  see  a  lot  of  young  colts  there." 

Four  days  later  the  Northern  railway  brought 
to  Noyon  the  first  convoy  of  the  Independents ; 
it  comprised  Cesarine,  Elvina,  Mesdames  Etoile, 
Bouchetrou,  Vespuce,  Widow  Flambart,  and 
Mademoiselle  Aglae,  Madame  Pantalon's  maid, 
a  little  brunette,  with  a  lively  eye  and  a  turned-up 
nose,  who  had  never  sworn  hatred  to  the  men,  but 
who  had  been  quite  willing  to  follow  her  mistress 
to  Bretigny,  as  she  was  very  curious  to  learn  what 
they  were  going  to  do  in  this  chateau ;  which  was 
quite  unknown  to  her,  as  she  had  only  been  in 
Cesarine's  service  for  some  six  months. 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK       115 

Numerous  trunks  accompanied  the  travellers, 
for  ladies  never  go  anywhere  without  carrying  with 
them  the  essentials  of  the  toilet,  and  the  former 
had  such  a  quantity  of  gowns,  bonnets,  caps,  frip- 
peries and  footgear  that  sixteen  trunks  and  fifteen 
bandboxes  hardly  sufficed  to  contain  them. 

But  there  was  still  two  leagues  distance  to  be 
covered  between  Noyon  and  the  captain's  chateau 
at  Bretigny.  These  ladies  got  down  at  the  station, 
and  stood  in  the  midst  of  their  formidable  array  of 
baggage.  Cesarine  spoke  to  one  of  the  railway 
officials. 

"  Monsieur,  we  are  going  to  Bretigny." 

"That's  two  leagues  from  here,  madame." 

"  I  know  it,  I  have  often  made  the  journey  ;  but 
then  I  came  in  a  chaise  that  I  had  hired.  This 
time  we  came  by  rail  —  much  faster,  of  course  ;  but 
now  how  are  we  going  to  get  to  Bretigny  ? " 

"  Follow  the  road  that  I'll  point  out  to  you,  you 
can't  make  any  mistake,  and  you  can  get  there,  with- 
out hurrying  yourselves,  in  two  hours  and  a  half." 

"  What !  go  without  hurrying  ourselves  ?  Do 
you  suppose,  monsieur,  that  we  are  going  to  travel 
two  leagues  on  foot  ? " 

"  Why,  I  see  no  other  way." 

"  How  horrid  !  walk  two  leagues  !  "  exclaimed 
Paolina,  "  and  I  am  nothing  of  a  walker." 

"We  shall  ruin  our  feet  on  the  pebbles,"  said 
pretty  Madame  Vespuce;  "  my  dainty  shoes  would 
soon  be  torn  to  pieces." 


u6  MADAME  PANTALON 

"  I  can  cover  two  leagues  on  foot  easily  enough," 
said  Madame  Flambart,  "  I  walk  like  a  trooper." 

"  But  I  can't  do  it,  madame,"  said  Olympiade. 
"  It  isn't  that  I  dislike  walking,  but  I  have  a  corn 
that  is  aching  horribly  at  this  moment." 

"Let  us  see,  ladies,  and  don't  be  uneasy,"  said 
Cesarine,  "  we  surely  shall  not  have  to  go  on  foot. 
If  they  could  only  procure  us  four  horses,  we  would 
take  three  ladies  on  the  crupper  and  put  our  steeds 
at  the  gallop.  I  could  make  two  leagues  on  horse- 
back in  less  than  half  an  hour." 

"  But  as  we  should  none  of  us  like  to  ride  on 
the  crupper,  there  is  no  question  of  procuring 
horses ;  we  must  have  a  carriage.  Our  baggage, 
besides,  could  you  take  that  on  the  crupper  ? " 

"  That  is  so,  we  must  have  a  carriage  or  two  if 
possible.  Porter,  where  can  we  get  carriages  ?  " 

"  Madame,  there  is  no  coach  plying  between 
Noyon  and  Bretigny." 

"  But  isn't  it  possible  that  some  of  the  country 
people  about  here  may  have  a  carryall,  a  wagon- 
ette or  even  a  laundry  cart ;  with  money  one  can 
always  get  what  one  wants.  We  can't  stay  here 
looking  at  our  trunks.  Come,  Aglae,  you  go  one 
way,  Madame  Flambart  the  other,  and  I'll  go  and 
ask  everywhere,  you  others  take  care  of  the  lug- 
gage. Oh,  if  we  only  had  some  velocipedes  to 
make  the  journey." 

"Velocipedes  !  how  horrid  !  The  idea  of  women 
riding  on  those  things !  they  are  made  only  for  men." 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK       117 

"  And  I  tell  you  that  if  I  had  one  I  should  not 
hesitate  long  before  placing  myself  astride  it." 

The  three  went  offand  the  others  remained  with 
the  trunks  and  bandboxes,  looking  at  them  with 
a  piteous  expression. 

Three-quarters  of  an  hour  had  passed  when  the 
Widow  Flambart  arrived,  out  of  breath,  with  her 
hair  in  disorder,  and  disappointed ;  she  had  been 
able  to  find  no  vehicles  except  some  wheelbarrows, 
and  she  thought  the  ladies  would  hardly  like  to 
make  use  of  such  means  of  locomotion  for  two 
leagues. 

"  And,  besides,  who  would  wheel  us  ?  "  de- 
manded Paolina. 

"  There  are  some  peasants  who  offered  to  wheel 
us  to  Bretigny  for  a  hundred  sous.  But  what 
would  the  captain  think  if  he  should  see  us  all 
arrive  in  wheelbarrows  ?  We  should  make  a  comi- 
cal entrance." 

At  length  Cesarine  came  back,  exclaiming, — 

"  Victory  !  I  have  a  laundry  man's  big,  covered 
van  ;  it  will  hold  us  all,  and  we  shall  be  very  com- 
fortable ;  he  assured  me  that  it  was  well  hung." 

"  And  our  trunks  ?  " 

"  Oh,  I  don't  think  it  will  hold  all  those." 

But  Aglae  arrived  with  a  little  cart  drawn  by  a 
donkey,  which  was  driven  by  a  little  boy  often. 

Then  there  were  no  more  fears,  they  would  have 
the  trunks  put  in  the  cart,  and  the  ladies  would 
take  the  bandboxes  with  them. 


n8  MADAME  PANTALON 

The  laundry  man  came  with  his  van,  and  our 
travellers  hastened  to  take  their  places  in  it. 

The  laundry  man  had  put  into  his  cart  two  seats 
which  he  used  when  he  took  his  family  to  a  fete  in 
the  neighborhood.  These  seats  were  attached  by 
means  of  leathern  straps  ;  then  in  the  front  of  the 
vehicle  was  a  smaller  seat  for  the  driver. 

"  Deuce  take  it !  there  are  only  two  seats,"  said 
Cesarine,  when  she  got  into  the  van. 

"  I  could  not  put  in  any  more.  How  many  of 
you  are  there  ?  " 

"  Seven." 

"  Well,  three  on  each  seat,  one  beside  me,  and 
there  you  are !  " 

"  Three  on  each  seat ;  they  will  hardly  hold  us." 

"  You  must  squeeze  a  little,  and  it  will  be  all 
right." 

"Come,  mesdames,  let  us  try  it;  fortunately, 
none  of  you  are  very  big  except  Madame  Flambart. 
Mesdames  Vespuce,  Etoile,  Bouchetrou,  place 
yourselves  on  the  front  seat.  That's  it." 

"  Oh,  it  is  a  very  tight  fit." 

"  One  can't  even  use  one's  handkerchief." 

"  You  need  not  use  them.  Madame  Flambart, 
Elvina  and  I  will  sit  on  the  second  seat,  and  Aglae 
with  the  laundry  man.  There  we  are." 

Everybody  got  into  the  van,  but  when  the 
Widow  Flambart,  who  was  very  large,  tried  to  seat 
herself  beside  Cesarine,  who  was  not  thin,  she  could 
not  do  it.  Elvina  in  vain  got  as  close  as  she  could 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK      119 

to  the  bars  of  the  van,  Madame  Flambart  found 
it  impossible  to  seat  herself.  She  suddenly  ex- 
claimed,— 

"  How  silly  we  are  !  Aglae,  who  is  very  thin, 
shall  sit  in  my  place  and  I  will  sit  beside  the 
laundry  man." 

The  exchange  was  made.  Everybody  was  seated, 
the  laundry  man  cracked  his  whip,  they  were  off! 
The  donkey  cart  and  the  little  boy  followed. 

The  laundry  man's  horse  went  at  a  jog  trot  which 
he  never  broke ;  the  ladies  found  that  the  van 
shook  them  horribly. 

"  You  would  be  shaken  worse  if  you  weren't  so 
well  packed  in,"  said  the  laundry  man. 

"  That's  right,"  admitted  Cesarine,  "everything 
has  its  good  side,  and  I  see  that  Madame  Flam- 
bart, who  is  less  squeezed,  sometimes  bounds  so 
that  I  am  afraid  she  will  fly  out  of  the  van." 

The  widow,  in  fact,  was  almost  jolted  out  of  her 
seat,  and  invariably  came  down  on  the  laundry 
man's  knee.  The  latter  was  a  wrinkled  old  fellow, 
who  did  not  look  at  all  amiable. 

"  Hi,  there,  madame  !  "  he  grumbled,  "  what 
do  you  come  down  on  my  knees  like  that  for  ? " 

"  Do  you  suppose,  laundry  man,  that  I  do  it 
on  purpose  ?  I  think  you  are  very  impertinent ! 
It  is  the  jolting  of  your  horrible  van  which  sends 
me  out  of  my  seat  like  that.  I  would  much  rather 
come  down  on  your  knees  than  fly  out  of  the 
wagon." 


120  MADAME  PANTALON 

"  You  must  try  to  hold  faster,  because,  look 
you,  when  you  come  down  on  my  knees  like  that 
I  can't  guide  Bibi." 

"  Bibi  moves  rather  slowly,"  said  Cesarine, 
"  can't  you  whip  him  a  little  ?  " 

"  That  wouldn't  do  any  good  at  all ;  Bibi  has 
his  own  gait,  d'ye  see  ;  the  beasts  are  like  our- 
selves, they  get  into  a  way  of  doing  things  and 
they  can't  change  it." 

Presently  there  came  such  a  violent  jolt  that  the 
Widow  Flambart  leaped  out  of  her  seat,  and  in  com- 
ing down  almost  crushed  the  laundry  man.  The 
latter  voiced  some  strongly  objurgatory  remarks ; 
Bibi  came  to  a  halt  of  himself,  and  Madame 
Flambart  got  down  from  the  van,  saying, — 

"  I  can't  stand  it  any  longer.  Oh,  I  have  an 
idea,  I'm  going  to  get  into  the  little  cart  that  is 
following  us ;  I  shall  sit  on  my  trunk,  and  I  shall 
be  a  hundred  times  more  comfortable  there." 

"  But,  Madame  Flambart,  that  cart  is  already 
well  loaded ;  the  donkey  seems  hardly  able  to 
draw  it  now,  and  if  you  get  on  he  won't  be  able 
to  walk." 

"  Pshaw  !  I'm  not  so  heavy  as  all  that,  and 
donkeys  are,  generally  speaking,  very  strong. 
When  they  object  to  going  on  it  is  only  because 
they  are  obstinate.  But  I  shall  take  the  whip  from 
the  little  boy,  and  I  wager  I  shall  leave  you  be- 
hind." 

Madame  Flambart  ran  to  the  cart.      Presently 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK      121 

they  heard  her  disputing  with  the  little  boy,  who 
did  not  wish  to  entrust  her  with  his  whip. 

She  seized  it,  however,  got  into  the  humble 
vehicle,  climbed  over  the  trunks,  seated  herself  at 
the  front,  took  the  reins,  and  began  to  whip  the 
donkey,  which,  to  the  surprise  of  the  travellers  in 
the  van,  set  off  at  a  gallop  and  very  soon  passed 
Bibi. 

"  See  how  I  can  drive,"  said  the  widow,  glan- 
cing mockingly  at  the  laundry  man,  "  here  is  a  don- 
key that  goes  better  than  your  horse." 

"  Good  enough  !  good  enough  !  we'll  soon  see 
how  long  he  can  keep  it  up  that  way,"  answered  the 
laundry  man  shaking  his  head.  "  You'll  wear  him 
out,  you'll  exhaust  the  poor  animal.  But  he  won't 
go  as  far  as  Bretigny  at  that  gait,  I'm  willing  to 
bet  you  anything." 

Ten  minutes  passed,  the  cart  was  about  a  hun- 
dred feet  in  advance  of  the  van,  when  suddenly 
they  saw  it  stop  and  heard  a  blood-curdling  shriek. 

To  their  horror,  the  party  in  the  laundry  wagon 
saw  that  the  donkey  had  fallen  and  that  Madame 
Flambart  had  been  shot  out  of  the  cart,  which  for- 
tunately was  not  high,  so  that  she  escaped  with  a 
mere  bump  on  the  forehead. 

"  Bang  !  "  exclaimed  the  laundry  man,  "I  knew 
that  was  how  it  would  end." 

Bibi  stopped  and  Cesarine  got  out  of  the  van 
to  go  to  Madame  Flambart's  assistance ;  but  the 
latter  had  already  picked  herself  up. 


122  MADAME  PANTALON 

As  for  the  donkey,  that  was  a  very  different 
matter  ;  he  positively  refused  to  get  upon  his  feet ; 
Cesarine,  the  laundry  man,  the  widow  and  the  child, 
tried  to  lift  him,  but  he  resisted  all  their  efforts. 
However,  they  were  not  more  than  two  gunshots 
from  Bretigny ;  Cesarine  ordered  the  little  boy  to 
remain  near  the  cart,  telling  him  she  would  soon 
send  some  one  to  his  assistance.  She  got  into  the 
laundry  van,  Madame  Flambart  did  the  same,  and 
in  the  space  of  five  minutes  or  so  they  arrived  in 
front  of  the  captain's  dwelling. 

It  was  a  curious  spectacle  which  the  travellers 
presented  as  they  jumped  out  of  the  vehicle  that 
had  come  into  the  courtyard  of  the  little  chateau. 
M.  de  Vabeaupont,  who  had  dragged  himself  as 
far  as  his  balcony,  could  not  get  over  his  surprise 
and  exclaimed, — 

"  Why,  what  the  devil  sort  of  an  equipage  have 
you  got  hold  of?" 

"  Dear  uncle,  we  had  to  take  what  we  could 
find,"  said  Cesarine.  "  Later  on  we  will  tell  you 
the  story  of  our  adventures.  Will  you,  first  of  all, 
send  Lundi-Gras  and  your  gardener  to  help  to  pick 
up  a  donkey  which  was  drawing  our  baggage  ;  the 
laundry  man  will  show  them  the  way  to  it." 

At  a  sign  from  his  master,  Lundi-Gras  hastened 
after  the  laundry  man,  who  left  his  van  in  the 
courtyard.  Madame  Pantalon  hurried  the  gar- 
dener, ordering  him  to  go  with  Lundi-Gras.  Then, 
addressing  her  companions, — 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK       123 

"  Follow  me,"  she  said,  "  and  I  will  present  you 
to  my  uncle." 

They  followed  Cesarine,  who  went  up  to  the 
first  story  where  the  old  seaman  almost  invariably 
stayed.  His  gout  had  forced  him  to  return  to  his 
lounging  chair;  but  he  bowed  graciously  to  the 
ladies,  saying  to  his  niece, — 

"  You  have  brought  very  few  people,  Cesarine  ; 
I  was  expecting  a  battalion,  and  I  see  only  the 
patrol-corps." 

"  Yes,  uncle,  we  are  only  the  advance  guard,  the 
others  will  come  later  on.  Here  are  some  ladies 
with  whom  you  are  acquainted,  Paolina,  Madame 
Flambart,  Olympiade,  are  old  friends,  Madame 
Vespuce  you  also  know,  do  you  not  ? " 

"  Yes,  madame  was  at  the  wedding." 

"  And  this  tall  young  lady  is  my  sister-in-law, 
Elvina." 

"  Why,  how  she  is  grown !  She  was  a  little 
shallop  and  now  she  is  a  man-o'-war.  And  that 
dark  girl  who  keeps  in  the  background,  who's  she  ? " 

"  That  is  Aglae,  my  maid.  Now,  dear  uncle,  that 
every  one  has  been  duly  presented,  if  you  will 
allow  us,  we  should  like  to  go  to  our  rooms  to 
rest ;  for  the  van  which  carried  us  from  Noyon 
jolted  us  terribly,  did  it  not,  mesdames  ?  " 

"  Yes,  I'm  sure  I  must  be  black  and  blue." 

"  I  feel  as  if  all  my  bones  were  broken." 

"  I  am  bruised  all  over." 

"  I  can't  hold  myself  up." 


i24  MADAME  PANTALON 

"  Go  and  rest,  my  dears,  and  remember  one 
thing :  you  are  at  home  here  ;  every  one  can  do 
as  she  likes,  go  out,  stay  in,  run  about  freely  ;  only, 
you  must  be  prompt  at  meal  times.  I  breakfast 
at  eleven,  dine  at  six,  and  I  never  vary  a  minute, 
and  if  every  one  is  not  there,  so  much  the  worse 
for  them  ;  I  wait  for  no  one,  and  the  meal  is  served 
at  the  appointed  time." 

The  ladies  hastened  to  profit  by  the  permis- 
sion accorded  them.  Nanon  conducted  the  new- 
comers. 

"  We  have  bedrooms  on  the  first  and  second 
floors  and  in  the  attic  ;  you  are  to  choose  for  your- 
selves." 

"  Put  these  ladies  on  the  first  floor,  it  is  their 
due,  for  they  came  first.  I  have  my  apartments  on 
the  groundfloor,  Elvina  will  have  a  room  beside 
mine." 

"  And  me,  madame  ?  " 

"  You  will  have  a  room  in  the  attic,  Aglae." 

"But  our  trunks?  our  gowns?  our  belongings?" 
cried  Madame  Vespuce,  "it  will  be  impossible  for 
me  to  rest  for  a  moment  until  I  am  sure  that  my 
things  are  safe." 

"Nor  I,  either,"  remarked  Olympiade,  "be- 
sides, I  have  some  cosmetics  and  scents  and  essences 
in  one  of  my  boxes,  which  are  indispensable  to  my 
toilet." 

"As  for  me,"  said  Madame  Etoile,  "I  never 
use  any  kind  of  cosmetic  nor  any  rice  or  other  pow- 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK       125 

der ;  nature  suffices  me.  But  I  have  some  very 
precious  manuscripts  in  my  trunk,  some  unfinished 
verses,  the  commencement  of  a  historical  drama. 
If  I  were  to  lose  all  those,  I  should  never  be  able 
to  console  myself." 

"Come,  reassure  yourselves,  ladies,"  said  Cesar- 
ine,  "  here  is  Lundi-Gras,  the  donkey,  the  cart, 
with  all  our  trunks,  coming  into  the  courtyard. 
Your  names  are  on  your  boxes,  and  they'll  carry 
them  to  your  apartments  for  you." 

"  Bravo  !  long  live  Madame  Pantalon." 

And  the  ladies  went  to  take  possession  of  their 
rooms,  while  Lundi-Gras,  assisted  by  Father 
Flanquet,  took  the  boxes  out  of  the  cart,  saying  to 
himself  as  he  did  so, — 

"  All  these  for  their  clothes.  I  hope  these  ladies 
have  got  enough  finery.  I  should  not  be  aston- 
ished, if  they've  often  been  told  that  they  have 
pretty  little  irregular  faces,  too." 

Cesarine  and  her  friends  had  arrived  at  Bretigny 
at  five  o'clock  in  the  afternoon,  too  greatly  fatigued 
by  the  jolting  they  had  received  in  the  van  to  think 
of  anything  but  resting.  Having  satisfied  them- 
selves as  to  the  condition  of  their  wearing  apparel, 
they  threw  themselves  on  their  beds  and  slept  until 
eleven  o'clock  in  the  evening.  Then  they  awakened 
and  rose,  for  they  were  very  hungry  and  each  one 
rang  and  asked  for  a  light. 

It  was  Lundi-Gras  who  came,  followed  by  Nanon, 
who  was  yawning  and  stretching  her  arms.  She 


126  MADAME  PANTALON 

was  in  a  very  bad  humor  because  they  had  for- 
bidden her  to  go  to  bed. 

But  the  captain  had  justly  thought  that  on 
awakening  the  travellers  would  be  hungry,  and  had 
ordered  that  their  supper  should  be  quite  ready  for 
them  and  the  table  laid  in  the  dining-room. 

Lundi-Gras  hastened  to  conduct  the  ladies,  who 
joyfully  exclaimed  at  the  sight  of  the  well-spread 
table,  and  they  hastened  to  seat  themselves  and 
drink  to  the  health  of  their  host  who  had  done 
things  so  well. 

"  Why  does  not  the  captain  sup  with  us  ?  "  de- 
manded the  Widow  Flambart. 

"Because  he's  in  bed  and  asleep,  madame,"  an- 
swered Lundi-Gras.  "  My  captain  always  goes  to 
bed  at  ten  o'clock,  and  never  takes  supper." 

"  We  are  keeping  you  up  very  late  tonight,  my 
poor  Lundi-Gras,"  said  Cesarine. 

"  Oh,  no,  captain,  that  is  all  right,  when  one  has 
to  take  his  watch  at  sea,  he  gets  his  four  hours'  sleep 
when  he  can,  and  where.  I  have  slept  in  the  rig- 
ging and  I'm  not  overfond  of  bed.  But  here's 
Nanon,  jingo  !  I  had  some  trouble  to  keep  that 
girl  awake." 

"  Mercy,  I'm  used  to  going  to  bed  and  getting 
my  sleep.  It  makes  me  ill  if  I  don't  sleep." 

"  Fie,  for  shame,  my  girl,"  said  Paolina,  "  don't 
you  know  that  too  much  sleep  brutalizes  a  person." 

"  Oh,  I  care  nothing  about  that.'* 

"  She  needs  to  be  waked  up,  does  this  little  girl." 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK        127 

"  We'll  make  a  drummer  of  her,"  said  Cesarine. 
"There's  a  drum  here  still,  isn't  there,  Lundi- 
Gras?" 

"  Yes,  captain,  a  drum  and  two  horses;  the  one 
you  used  to  like  to  ride  formerly;  and  a  little  pony 
which  goes  like  the  wind  ! " 

"  That's  perfect !  Elvina,  tomorrow  you  shall 
try  the  little  pony.  Lundi-Gras,  you  know  how 
to  beat  the  drum?" 

"  I  flatter  myself  I  do." 

"You  shall  teach  Nanon  to  do  so;  when  we  have 
some  proclamation  to  make  in  the  village,  she  shall 
do  it ;  she  has  a  shrill  voice,  and  that  is  what  is 
necessary." 

"  What  ?  are  you  going  to  make  a  drummer  of 
me,  madame  ?  Why,  the  idea !  " 

"Hold  your  tongue,  child,  and  learn  to  obey 
without  answering.  We  are  about  to  establish 
subordination  here,  are  we  not,  ladies?" 

"  Yes,  yes,  subordination  is  the  thing." 

"  Everybody  must  obey." 

"And  everybody  must  be  free." 

"  Permit  me,  mesdames,  we  shall  have  to  regu- 
late that.  As  for  that,  we  will  make  it  an  act  of 
the  society." 

"  A  charter  !  " 

"  There  is  no  question  of  a  charter ;  how  stupid 
you  are,  Olympiade." 

"  Why,  Cesarine,  I  don't  like  such  words  as 
that,  and  so  I  warn  you." 


128  MADAME  PANTALON 

"  Good  heavens  !  I  said  it  jokingly,  but,  by  the 
way,  how  came  you  to  mention  a  charter  ?  We 
want  to  form  a  tribe  —  the  tribe  of  Independents." 

"  We  are  the  nucleus  of  it,"  said  Paolina. 

"  I  concede  your  nucleus.  As  a  matter  of  fact, 
our  aim  and  object  is  to  acquire  the  rank  in  society 
that  the  men  have  usurped,  am  I  not  right  ?  " 

"  Yes,  yes  !  " 

"  We  will  resume  everything,"  said  Madame 
Flambart,  "we  are  capable  of  every  thing." 

"  Everything !  that's  going  rather  far,  isn't  it, 
mesdames  ? " 

"  No,  no  !  "  cried  the  widow,  "  I  will  engage  to 
do  everything  that  a  man  can  do.  Tomorrow  we 
must  have  it  drummed  about  the  country  that 
people  can  find  at  Captain  de  Vabeaupont's  chateau 
women  who  can  do  anything  that  is  asked  of 
them." 

"  That's  rather  a  doubtful  proclamation  ;  if  that 
is  drummed  about,  what  will  they  think  of  us  ?  " 

"  I  meant  to  say,  who  are  capable  of  doing 
everything  that  men  can  do." 

"  My  dearest,  before  drumming  anything  we  must 
have  a  constitution  drawn  up,  article  by  article." 

"  Yes,  that's  what  we  need." 

"  Good  heavens,  what  a  headache  I  have  got," 
said  Madame  Vespuce. 

"  And  we  must  swear  to  conform  to  it." 

"You  forget,  Madame  Pantalon,  that  it  has  been 
settled  that  we  are  to  have  no  swearing." 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK      129 

"  Ah,  that's  true.  For  the  matter  of  that,  before 
deliberating  on  anything  we  must  all  be  together." 

"  There  are  so  few  of  us  here." 

"  Well,  let's  go  to  bed." 

"  Yes,  we'll  go  to  bed." 

The  next  day  two  big  char-a-bancs  brought  to 
M.  de  Vabeaupont's  Madame  Dutonneau,  Ma- 
dame Grassouillet,  Madame  Boulard  and  six  other 
young  women  who  also  wished  to  be  enrolled 
among  the  Independents,  and  who  had  taken  their 
flight  with  or  without  the  consent  of  their  hus- 
bands. There  were  also  among  them  some  un- 
married ladies  of  middle-age  and  some  of  those 
ladies  who  were  married  only  in  name. 

Madame  Boulard  had  a  chignon  on  which  a  baby 
might  have  played  horse  ;  it  gave  rise  to  numerous 
whisperings  among  the  first  comers,  who  said  among 
themselves, — 

"  She  does  things  generously." 

"  She  wanted  to  prove  that  she  places  much 
value  on  that  adornment." 

"  But  how  could  she  bring  herself  to  leave  her 
husband,  who  adores  her." 

"  Because  since  her  accident  at  the  ball  he  does 
not  adore  her.  It  seems  that  up  to  then  he  had  not 
perceived  that  his  wife  wore  false  hair." 

"  That's  amazing  ! " 

"  When  he  learned  it,  he  forbade  her  to  wear 
it.  Then  arose  quarrels,  disputes,  and,  finally,  a 
rupture." 

Vol.  XXI 


130  MADAME  PANTALON 

"And  now  Madame  Boulard  indemnifies  her- 
self—  she  is  all  chignon." 

M.  Fouillac  accompanied  the  last  comers.  He 
paid  his  respects  to  Cesarine,  and  said  affably, — 

"  For  a  long  time  past  your  uncle  the  captain 
has  invited  me  to  come  to  his  chateau.  I  did  not 
hasten  to  avail  myself  of  this  invitation,  because 
I  knew  I  should  not  find  any  of  the  fair  sex  here, 
that  sex  which  makes  the  charm  of  our  existence,  and 
to  whom  I  have  consecrated  mine.  But  now  it  is 
different,  the  ladies  are  in  full  sway,  and,  that  being 
so,  I  ventured  to  accompany  them  here  also." 

"  You  did  very  well  to  come.  We  know  you 
for  our  friend,  M.  Fouillac;  we  shall  count  on  you 
when  we  have  any  commissions  for  Paris." 

"  I  shall  be  entirely  at  your  orders." 

"  There  are  two  good  horses  here ;  you  can  take 
one  to  go  as  far  as  the  railroad.  You  can  mount 
a  horse  ?  " 

"  Oh,  yes  —  as  far  as  mounting  goes  —  I  know 
how  to  mount  one,  but  I  don't  know  how  to  keep 
on  him  ;  I  am  too  light,  I  fall  immediately." 

"  We  can  have  the  horse  put  in  the  cabriolet." 

"  Don't  be  uneasy  about  me,  I  shall  manage  to 
get  there." 

Cesarine  presented  the  newcomers  to  her  uncle  ; 
then,  while  they  were  establishing  themselves  on 
all  the  floors  of  the  chateau,  she  said  to  Elvina, — 

"  Now,  I  am  going  to  kiss  my  little  girl,  my 
Georgette.  Will  you  come  with  me  ?  " 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK       131 

"  Oh,  yes,  sister,  with  pleasure  ;  are  we  going 
on  foot  ? " 

"  No,  indeed  ;  it  is  quite  at  the  other  end  of  the 
village;  we'll  take  the  two  horses,  and  then,  by 
means  of  a  gallop,  we  shall  be  at  the  nurse's  in  ten 
minutes.  Hello,  Lundi-Gras  !  " 

"  Here  I  am,  captain." 

"  Saddle  the  two  horses  for  my  sister  and  I." 

"  At  once,  captain." 

"  Why  does  Lundi-Gras  call  you  captain  ?  " 

"  Because  when  I  was  quite  little  I  had  the  habit 
of  ordering  him  about,  and  he  always  obeyed  me 
as  he  obeyed  my  uncle." 

Cesarine  and  Elvina  rode  off  on  their  horses. 
Madame  Pantalon  had  a  perfect  seat,  she  rode  as 
well  as  a  man,  she  was  afraid  of  nothing,  and  leaped 
over  hedges  and  ditches  with  admirable  skill.  The 
young  girl  lacked  her  sister's  self-possession,  her 
boldness,  she  sat  well  and  managed  her  horse  grace- 
fully, but  she  leaped  neither  hedges  nor  ditches, 
although  her  sister-in-law  shouted  to  her, — 

"  Come  along !  do  as  I  do  !  jump  over  all  ob- 
stacles— jump  !  jump,  hang  it !  " 

But  Elvina  did  not  listen  to  Cesarine,  and  she 
did  well ;  for  in  leaping  over  a  rather  high  hedge, 
the  beautiful  equestrian  had  not  seen  a  little  peas- 
ant boy  who  was  seated  behind  it,  spreading  some 
curd  cheese  on  his  bread. 

Fortunately,  the  horse  did  not  come  down  on 
him,  the  feet  of  the  animal  barely  grazing  him  as 


132  MADAME  PANTALON 

it  covered  the  ground ;  but  the  urchin  was  so 
frightened  that  he  gave  vent  to  the  most  fearful 
howls,  asserting  that  he  was  crushed. 

Cesarine  dismounted.  Some  peasants  came  run- 
ning. The  little  boy  cried  and  showed  his  white 
cheese  covered  with  dirt. 

"  Where  are  you  hurt  ?  "  some  one  asked  him. 

"  I  don't  know  ;  but  look  here —  she  has  spoiled 
all  my  cheese." 

"  Did  the  horse  really  touch  you  ?  " 

"  I  don't  know,  my  cheese  is  full  of  earth.  It 
was  my  lunch." 

"  You  aren't  hurt,  then  ? " 

"  It's  my  cheese  ;  but  I  just  missed  having  the 
horse  on  my  back." 

Cesarine  gave  a  hundred  sous  to  the  little  fel- 
low to  buy  some  more  cheese,  and  all  the  villagers 
exclaimed, — 

"  Isn't  he  lucky,  this  small  boy,  to  find  himself 
there  almost  under  the  horse,  and  to  get  a  hundred 
sous  for  it  ?  " 

Madame  Pantalon  remounted  her  horse,  she  was 
willing  to  go  a  little  slower  now,  for  Elvina  said  to 
her, — 

"  My  dear  sister,  how  unlucky  you  would  have 
been  if  that  boy  had  been  a  little  more  to  the  left. 
I  assure  you  that  I  shall  never  jump  over  the 
hedges." 

"  You  are  right ;  I  shall  content  myself  with 
ditches  in  future.  But  then,  who  the  devil  could 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK       133 

have  imagined  that  there  was  a  little  boy  behind 
that  hedge  ? " 

"In  the  country  you  know  well  that  one  should 
always  look  out.  Half  the  accidents  that  occur  in 
hunting  are  the  result  of  imprudence.  Oh,  if  I 
were  to  hunt  —  " 

"You  would  go  and  visit  all  the  burrows  before 
shooting  into  them.  I  don't  believe  you  would 
carry  home  much  game." 

"  I  would  much  rather  go  home  empty-handed 
than  have  to  reproach  myself  with  killing  some 

M 

one. 

They  arrived  at  the  nurse's.  Little  Georgette, 
who  was  a  twelve-month  old,  was  well ;  she  was 
a  very  pleasing  child. 

"  She  looks  like  my  brother,"  said  Elvina. 

"  I'm  sure  I  hope  not,"  said  Cesarine. 

"  But  my  brother  is  very  good-looking." 

"  That  is  possible ;  but  I  do  not  care  that  my 
daughter  should  resemble  him." 

"  Because  you  are  angry  with  him  now  ;  but  that 
will  not  last  forever." 

"My  dearest,  when  I  left  my  husband  it  was 
that  I  might  never  hear  of  him  again.  Not  a  word 
more  on  the  subject,  Elvina  ;  let  us  go  back  to  the 
chateau." 

They  were  awaiting  Cesarine  impatiently,  for  all 
the  Independents  were  now  gathered  together,  and 
having  '•ecognized  Madame  Pantalon  as  their  chief, 
they  vished  that  she  should  regulate  their  time  at 


134  MADAME  PANTALON 

the  chateau.  But  the  dinner  was  served,  and  the 
captain  had  already  shouted  through  his  speaking 
trumpet, — 

"  Dinner  !  It  is  six  o'clock  and  all  business  will 
be  put  off  until  the  evening." 

After  dinner,  during  which  Madame  Flambart 
took  a  thought  too  much  wine,  just  to  show  that 
she  knew  how  to  do  the  same  as  a  man,  Madame 
Pantalon  rose,  and  said, — 

"  Mesdames,  I  ask  for  a  moment's  silence,  for 
I  wish  to  treat  of  a  very  interesting  subject." 

Silence  was  not  a  very  easy  thing  to  obtain  in  a 
gathering  composed  of  fifteen  women  and  two  men; 
for  the  captain  and  Fouillac  were  admitted  to  the 
conference.  However,  they  tried  to  obey,  and 
only  the  faintest  whisperings  could  be  heard. 

"  Mesdames,  or,  rather,  brave  Independents.  I 
like  that  much  better ;  besides,  that  is  the  name 
we  have  adopted." 

"Hear!  hear!" 

"Very  good!" 

"  I  should  have  preferred  that  we  had  been  called 
'progressives,'"  said  Paolina,  "for  we  are  march- 
ing towards  progress." 

"That  would  be  pretentious.  'Independents' 
is  franker." 

"  I  should  have  proposed  that  we  should  be 
known  as  emancipated  women,"  suggested  Madame 
Grassouillet." 

"Not   half  bad,"   said   the  captain,   laughing, 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK       135 

"  emancipated  women !  that  title  would  suit  you 
very  well." 

"  No,  uncle,  emancipated  is  a  good  word  for 
young  girls  ;  but  we  are  women.  It  is  not  neces- 
sary that  people  should  take  us  for  schoolgirls." 

"As  for  me,"  said  Madame  Flambart  in  a  dole- 
ful voice,  "  I  should  have  liked,  because  of  the 
character  we  are  about  to  reassume,  and  to  im- 
pose on  these  gentlemen —  besides,  it  would  recall 
antiquity  — " 

"Well,  what  is  it  you  would  have  liked  ? " 

"  I  should  have  liked  —  besides,  it  would  have 
done  honor  to  our  sentiments — " 

"  Do,  please,  finish." 

"  I  should  have  liked  that  we  should  have  been 
called  Romans." 

"  My  dearest,"  said  Cesarine,  "  as  the  peasants 
are  not  very  well-informed,  when  any  one  spoke  of 
the  Romans  they  would  think  that  it  was  a  ques- 
tion of  salad.1  Besides,  the  name  of  Independents 
has  already  been  adopted  by  us ;  if  you  revert  in- 
cessantly to  what  we  have  settled  and  done  with, 
we  shall  arrive  at  nothing." 

"  Madame  Pantalon  is  right." 

"We  are  the  Independents." 

"  Then  the  incident  is  —  closed.  I  don't  quite 
like  that  word —  but  it  states  the  case." 

"  It  is  parliamentary." 

"  I  concede  the  word  closed.     I  come  to  that 

1  Remain  —  Roman  ;  remain  —  cos  lettuce. 


136  MADAME  PANTALON 

which  I  wanted  to  propose  to  you ;  don't  you 
think  that  if  we  wish  to  engage  in  some  exercises, 
to  go  out  together,  show  ourselves  in  a  body  in  the 
country,  that  we  should  do  well  to  have  a  uniform?" 

"  Oh,  yes,  yes." 

"  Most  certainly,  we  must  have  a  uniform." 

"  That  will  be  delightful !  " 

"And  when  we  go  out  together  —  " 

"  People  will  take  you  for  the  National  Guard 
of  the  country,"  said  Fouillac. 

"  Uncle,  is  there  a  National  Guard  in  the 
village?" 

"  No,  niece." 

"  Then  are  there  any  gendarmes  ?  " 

"  No,  niece." 

"  Police  officers  ?  " 

"  Not  one." 

"  Who  guards  the  inhabitants,  then  ?" 

"They  guard  themselves." 

"And  if  there  are  robbers,  who  arrests  them?" 

"  The  rural  guard." 

"All  alone!" 

"  He  is  aided  by  the  mayor,  the  assistant  mayor, 
the  municipal  council,  those  are  the  authorities. 
But  thieves  do  not  trouble  villages  much,  and  if 
they  were  to  present  themselves  here,  by  the  beard 
of  the  prophet,  they  would  get  a  queer  reception. 
All  the  same,  I  don't  think  the  peasants  would  be 
at  all  displeased  to  have  a  National  Guard  of  pretty 
women." 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK        137 

"  Well,  if  it  doesn't  do  them  any  good  it  can't 
do  them  any  harm." 

"  Let  us  get  back  to  the  uniform,  Cesarine  !  " 

"  Yes,  we  were  speaking  of  the  uniform." 

"  Independents,  here  is  what  I  propose.  Our 
uniform  must  not  be  too  showy,  but  it  must  be 
neat  and  becoming." 

"  Yes,  it  is  essential  that  it  should  be  becoming." 

"  And  in  good  taste." 

"  And  that  it  should  fit  us  well." 

"  Oh,  that  will  depend  on  our  dressmakers." 

"  Let  us  hear  what  you  propose." 

"  A  blue  and  white  striped  skirt,  a  loose  jacket, 
what  the  men  call  a  tub  coat,  of  light  cloth,  blue, 
bordered  with  red  and  with  red  facings,  a  single 
row  of  white  metal  buttons  so  that  it  may  be  but- 
toned all  down  the  front;  a  little  black  tie;  a  leath- 
ern belt ;  little  white  gaiters  over  the  boots ;  and, 
lastly,  a  square  crowned  cap  with  a  vizor,  a  silver 
aigrette,  and  a  tassel  which  droops  over  one  side. 
Well,  what  do  you  say  to  that  ? " 

The  ladies  looked  at  each  other,  not  one  of  them 
appeared  satisfied. 

"  I  don't  like  the  blue  and  white  striped  skirt," 
said  Madame  Dutonneau ;  "  the  white  makes  one 
look  stouter." 

"Why  not  have  an  orange  skirt?  "  said  Paolina; 
"  orange  is  so  pretty." 

"Orange  is  not  becoming  to  me;  I  should  like 
white,  unbroken  by  any  color,  best." 


138  MADAME  PANTALON 

"  I  detest  gaiters ;  the  foot  looks  ill-dressed  in 
them." 

"  Why  should  not  the  jacket  be  green  ?  That 
isn't  so  common  as  blue." 

"  A  single  row  of  buttons,  that  is  not  enough ; 
I  should  like  four  rows." 

"  You  would  look  like  a  toreador." 

"  A  cap  is  not  becoming  to  me,"  said  Madame 
Vespuce. 

"  What  would  you  have  instead  then  ?  " 

"  I  should  like  a  policeman's  helmet  better." 

"I  should  like  a  busby," said  Madame  Flambart. 

"  With  a  feather,  perhaps  ?  " 

"  No,  but  with  an  aigrette." 

Cesarine  had  in  vain  asked  for  silence ;  having 
no  bell  she  then  seized  her  uncle's  speaking  trum- 
pet, and  made  such  a  noise  in  speaking  through  it 
that  the  ladies  were  obliged  to  be  silent. 

"Independents,"  said  Cesarine,  "you  have  ac- 
knowledged me  as  your  leader ;  I  propose  to  you 
a  uniform  which  will  be  very  suitable,  and  which, 
besides,  you  will  only  wear  at  large  gatherings ;  if 
instead  of  adopting  it,  you  each  propose  a  costume 
according  to  your  own  taste,  it  will  be  a  very  bad 
augury  for  our  installation,  and  we  shall  never  put 
ourselves  on  a  stable  footing." 

"  Cesarine  is  right," said  Madame  Flambart,"  we 
must  submit  to  her  decisions.  As  for  me,  I  shall 
have  a  uniform  made  such  as  she  has  proposed." 

"  And  I  also." 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK       139 

"I  also,  with  the  exception  of  some  slight  modi- 
fications of  little  importance." 

"That  will  do  for  me,  save  some  little  trifles  in 
the  fashion — " 

"  That  is  understood." 

"  We  adopt  it." 

"  Now,  ladies,  write  this  evening  to  your  dress- 
makers in  Paris ;  give  them  your  orders,  and 
M.  Fouillac  will  have  the  kindness  to  start  to- 
morrow morning  for  Paris  with  your  letters." 

"Yes,  very  willingly.  Not  only  will  I  carry 
your  letters,  but  I  will  see  your  dressmakers ;  I 
will  urge  them  to  set  about  your  orders  at  once, 
and,  if  you  wish  to  charge  me  with  that  duty,  I 
will  bring  your  uniforms  back  myself." 

"  Oh,  you  are  charming !  And  our  caps  ?  " 

"  And  your  caps." 

"  We  will  explain  in  our  letters  how  we  want 
them  to  be  made." 

"That  is  understood;  you  shall  have  everything 
done  as  you  wish.  I'll  play  the  devil  with  the 
dressmakers,  the  milliners,  the  hatters,  for  you  to 
have  everything  this  week." 

The  ladies  returned  to  their  rooms  to  write  to 
their  dressmakers,  and  the  next  morning  Fouillac 
took  the  epistles  and  left  for  Paris. 


CHAPTER  VI 

THE  RURAL  GUARD 

WHILE  awaiting  the  return  from  Paris  of  their 
comrade  and  messenger,  M.  Fouillac,  Madame 
Pantalon,  who  did  not  wish  to  remain  inactive, 
proposed  to  have  it  drummed  about  the  village  that 
any  one  in  need  of  services  in  the  way  of  handi- 
crafts, arts,  or  professions,  for  which  they  were 
accustomed  to  apply  to  men,  might  address  the 
Independents  at  the  chateau,  and  that  those  ladies 
would  undertake,  gratuitously,  to  do  those  things 
for  which  they  had  always  been  accustomed  to 
hire  men. 

This  motion  was  adopted  by  the  majority,  though 
there  were  some  exceptions.  Madame  Vespuce 
exclaiming, — 

"  But  it  seems  to  me  that  you  are  going  a  little 
too  fast ;  for  some  one  is  certain  to  want  you  for 
something  that  you  do  not  know  how  to  do." 

"  My  dear  friend  !  "  answered  Cesarine,  "when 
one  founds  a  society,  an  institution,  goes  into  an 
enterprise,  one  must  never  appear  to  be  doubtful 
of  anything  ;  one  promises  a  good  deal  and  does 
the  best  one  can.  Besides,  can  we  not  always,  among 
ourselves,  find  one  who  can  do  that  of  which  the 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK       141 

others  are  ignorant?  As  for  me,  I  am  perfectly 
acquainted  with  the  code  ;  I  know  law,  for  I  have 
studied  Cujus  and  Barthole,  I  should  not  be  at  a 
loss  if  asked  to  plead  in  court.  Paolina  is  well 
versed  in  literature ;  Madame  Flambart  has  stud- 
ied chemistry;  Olympiade,  medicine;  Madame 
Dutonneauis  as  strong  as  Hercules,  she  could  carry 
three  children  on  her  head,  and  a  table  into  the 
bargain." 

"  And  a  table  into  the  bargain  ?  Oh,  I  should 
like  to  see  that." 

"  Well,  ladies,  one  of  these  evenings  I  will  afford 
you  this  spectacle;  we  will  have  a  gymnastic  seance, 
and  I  will  floor  you  all." 

"  Floor  us  ;  what  do  you  mean  by  that  ? " 

"  I  used  a  term  employed  by  boxers ;  when  a 
boxer  is  successful,  he  says  that  he  has  t  floored  ' 
his  opponent." 

"  Pardon  me,  I  do  not  understand  such  lan- 
guage." 

"  I  know  how  to  play  billiards,"  said  Madame 
Grassouillet. 

"  I  am  a  musician." 

"  My  father  is  an  architect,  I  know  all  about 
building  a  house." 

"What  did  I  tell  you,  mesdames  ?  You  see, 
we  are  qualified  to  undertake  anything.  Hello ! 
Lundi-Gras,  where  is  that  old  cabin  boy  ?  Aglae, 
go  and  get  Lundi-Gras  and  Nanon !  " 

The  young  lady's  maid  found  Lundi-Gras  in 


142  MADAME  PANTALON 

the  cellar  and  Nanon  in  the  larder ;  the  gardener's 
daughter  always  had  her  mouth  full  of  something 
or  other  that  she  was  eating.  Lundi  was  not 
always  drinking ;  but  his  constantly  inflamed  face 
indicated  that  it  was  not  his  fault  if  he  was  not. 

The  old  cabin  boy  and  the  little  servant  pre- 
sented themselves  before  Cesarine.  Lundi-Gras 
made  a  military  salute,  and  Nanon  swallowed  at 
one  gulp  the  larger  part  of  a  hard-boiled  egg,  which 
had  given  her  the  appearance  of  having  her  face 
swelled  by  toothache. 

"  Have  you  executed  my  orders?  "  said  Cesar- 
ine to  the  sailor.  "  Have  you  taught  this  little 
one  to  beat  the  drum  ?  " 

"  The  drum,  captain  ?    What  drum  ?  " 

"Why  the  drum  we  spoke  about  the  other 
day,  imbecile  !  " 

"  Oh,  yes,  captain,  I've  given  her  some  lessons  ; 
she  doesn't  do  it  so  very  badly —  and  yet  not  well." 

"  No  matter.  Nanon,  you  will  take  the  drum 
and  go  and  make  a  proclamation  in  the  square  at 
the  village." 

"  Me,  madame  ?  " 

"  Yes,  you  ;  first  of  all,  you  will  beat  a  roll  on 
your  drum  ;  do  you  know  how  to  beat  a  roll  ?  " 

."  Mercy  !  I  don't  even  know  what  it  is.  And 
what  is  it  I  am  to  proclaim  ?  " 

"  You  know  how  to  read  ?  " 

"  Oh,  yes,  madame  —  I've  read  c  Barbe  Bleue  ' 
and  '  Petit-Poucet '  right  through." 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK       143 

"  Well,  then,  read  what  is  written  on  this  paper 
—  try  to  learn  it  by  heart,  it  is  not  long,  you  are 
to  shout  what  is  written  there ;  so,  if  you  cannot 
retain  it  in  your  memory,  you  will  read  it  after  you 
have  rolled  your  drum." 

"  Yes,  madame.  Oh,  but  now  I  remember  ! 
I  can't  do  it,  madame." 

"  What  do  you  mean  ?  What  is  it  you  can't  do  ? " 

"It  is  only  the  rural  guard  who  has  the  right  to 
play  the  drum  or  to  announce  anything  in  the 
village.  If  I  beat  the  drum,  Farineux  will  arrest 
me." 

"  Do  as  I  order  you,  and  if  the  rural  guard  says 
anything  to  you,  send  him  about  his  business. 
Is  not  my  uncle  lord  of  the  manor  ?  He  must 
have  the  right  to  nominate  the  rural  guard.  Well, 
we  will  put  the  one  who  is  in  office  out,  and  I'll 
give  you  his  place." 

"  Me,  madame  ?  you  will  make  me  rural  guard?" 

"  Yes,  Nanon." 

"  But  I  am  not  a  man  !  " 

"  Why,  that  is  exactly  the  reason  I  appoint  you. 
We  women  are  going  to  occupy  the  men's  places." 

"  That's  a  different  thing,  madame  !  Then  I'll 
go  and  beat  the  drum  and  make  the  proclamation. 
I'll  roll  it,  I  promise  you.  It's  Farineux  that's 
going  to  be  put  out !  " 

Nanon  was  delighted  at  being  rural  guard.  She 
read  and  reread  the  paper  that  had  been  given  her, 
and  when  she  was  sure  she  knew  it  by  heart,  she 


I44  MADAME  PANTALON 

made  herself  a  belt  and  attached  the  drum  to  it, 
stuck  the  drumsticks  in  her  waist,  and  went  to  the 
village  square,  shouting, — 

"  I  am  the  rural  guard.  Not  Farineux  —  I  have 
taken  his  place,  and  I  am  going  to  beat  the  drum 
and  announce  something  very  interesting  to  you ; 
open  your  ears." 

The  words  of  the  gardener's  girl,  the  drum  she 
wore  at  her  side,  attracted  the  peasants'  attention  ; 
and  when  she  beat  the  roll  on  her  drum  the  vil- 
lagers came  running  from  all  sides,  shouting, — 

"  Why,  Nanon's  beating  the  drum.  What  a 
comical  maid  it  is  !  " 

"  Nanon's  beating  a  roll  on  the  drum." 

"  Hold  your  tongue,  you  there  !  and  listen,  I'm 
going  to  proclaim.  Hum,  hum  !  wait  a  bit,  I  must 
try  to  remember  !  good  !  I  have  it  now.  f  We  beg 
to  state  (yes,  they  always  begin  like  that),  we  beg 
to  state  to  the  inhabitants  of  the  neighborhood 
that  men  are  now  women  —  no,  that's  not  it  — 
that  women  are  now  men  —  and  if  you  have  need 
of  anything,  no  matter  what  —  that  is  to  say,  of  one 
thing  or  another — they  will  lend  you  a  hand  at 
the  chateau,  and  they  charge  themselves  with  under- 
taking—  no  that's  not  it  —  oh,  yes !  they  will  un- 
dertake gratis  —  or — " 

Nanon  could  not  continue,  for  a  vigorous  hand 
took  her  by  the  ear.  It  was  Farineux,  the  rural 
guard,  who  said  as  he  pinched  her  hard, — 

"  What  are  you  doing  here,  Nanon  Flanquet, 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK       145 

with  that  drum  at  your  side  ?  and  what  are  you  say- 
ing to  them  all  here  ?  " 

"Ow!  Father  Farineux,  let  go  of  my  ear !  don't 
pinch  me  like  that  —  I'm  making  a  proclamation." 

"  A  proclamation  !  The  idea  !  I  should  like  to 
see  you  !  I  am  the  only  one  who  has  the  right  to 
make  proclamations  in  Bretigny  ;  understand  that, 
ducky  !  seeing  that  I  am  the  rural  guard." 

"  Why,  that  is  to  say,  you  were,  Father  Fari- 
neux, but  you  aren't  any  longer ;  I  have  replaced 
you  —  they've  given  your  place  to  me.  Ha  !  ha! 
that  astonishes  you  !  well,  so  it  did  me  ;  but  that's 
how  it  is,  all  the  same." 

All  the  villagers  began  to  laugh,  exclamations 
could  be  heard  from  all  sides. 

"  Ha,  ha !  Nanon  is  rural  guard." 

"  Why,  here's  a  maid  !  " 

"  Have  you  changed  your  < sect,'  Nanon  ? " 

"You  are  not  a  girl,  then  ?  " 

"  Yes,  yes,  I  am  still  a  girl ;  but  that  doesn't 
prevent  them  at  the  chateau  helping  you  free  of 
cost,  and  Madame  Pantalon  has  made  me  rural 
guard  instead  of  Farineux." 

"  Ha,  ha  !  Madame  Pantalon  !  " 

"  What  a  name !  " 

"  She  must  be  a  pretty  bold  woman." 

"  It's  the  lady  who  just  missed  crushing  little 
Badou  with  her  horse." 

"  Yes,  it's  the  captain's  niece,  and  she  has  made 
me  rural  guard." 

Vol.XXI 


146  MADAME  PANTALON 

"  She's  made  you  rural  guard  !  and  what  right 
has  she  to  do  that,  your  Madame  Pantalon  ? " 

"  Dang  it !  I  don't  know.  They  are  like  that 
at  the  chateau,  a  parcel  of  females  who  think  the 
world  is  upside  down,  and  they  wish  to  put  it  back 
in  its  place." 

"  Look  at  that  now !  The  world  is  upside  down ! 
That's  a  case  of  politics,  that  is." 

"  Well,  come  with  me  to  the  mayor  for  a  minute, 
Nanon,  and  we  will  see  if  he  wants  you  for  rural 
guard." 

Nanon  did  not  much  care  to  go  before  the 
mayor ;  but  Farineux  would  not  let  go  of  her,  so 
there  was  no  way  of  resisting. 

The  mayor  was  an  old  farmer  who  still  culti- 
vated his  lands  ;  he  was  a  man  of  sixty,  with  a  good 
face  and  a  rather  shrewd  glance ;  he  had  an  im- 
mense fund  of  good  sense,  which  is  the  most  pre- 
cious commodity  for  one  in  authority. 

"  M.  le  Maire/'  said  the  rural  guard,  pushing 
Nanon  before  him,  "  I  have  here  a  daughter  of 
Flanquet,  the  gardener  at  the  chateau ;  I  think 
she's  either  been  struck  on  the  head  with  a  ham- 
mer, or  else  she's  a  som  —  som  —  a  sleep  walker, 
I  mean ;  she  has  a  drum,  as  you  see ;  she's  been 
making  a  proclamation,  and  saying  all  sorts  of 
ridiculous  things  —  and,  last  but  not  least,  she  says 
they've  given  her  my  place." 

The  mayor  looked  at  Nanon  and  could  not  help 
smiling,  as  he  said, — 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK       147 

"Is  all  this  true,  little  one ?  What !  you  want 
to  take  Farineux's  place?" 

"  Goodness  !  why  not,  M.  le  Maire  ? " 

"  What,  you  want  to  be  rural  guard  ?  —  you  ? 
and  who  has  put  such  ideas  as  these  into  your  head? 
Look  here,  Nanon,  just  reflect  a  little.  If  you 
were  a  boy,  we  might  understand  that  you  could 
aspire  to  the  place  of  rural  guard  —  but  a  young 
girl  —  you  have  had  a  bad  dream,  my  child,  and 
you  are  not  yet  quite  awake." 

"  No,  it  is  a  fact,  M.  le  Maire,  I  haven't  been 
dreaming  at  all.  Besides,  I  should  never  have 
thought  of  it  myself;  it  was  Madame  Pantalon, 
our  master's  niece,  who  said  to  me,  c  Go  and  drum 
in  the  village  what  is  written  on  this  paper,'  and 
I  answered  her,  'It  is  the  rural  guard  who  makes 
the  proclamations.'  Then  she  said,  f  I  turn  him 
out  —  that  is  to  say,  I  give  you  his  place.' ' 

"  She  has  no  right  to  turn  me  out  —  has  she, 
M.  le  Maire  ?  " 

"No,  certainly  not;  perhaps  this  is  only  a  joke." 

"  I  don't  like  such  jokes  as  that —  I'm  going  to 
arrest  Nanon  —  shan't  I,  M.  le  Maire?" 

"One  minute,  Farineux.  Before  arresting  this 
little  girl,  it  will  be  better  to  have  an  explanation 
with  Madame  Puntalon,  M.  de  Vabeaupont's  niece. 
You  will  go  to  the  chateau,  you  will  ask  her  what  she 
wished  Nanon  to  do ;  why  she  allowed  her  to  go  out 
with  a  drum? — you  were  a  servant  at  the  chateau, 
weren't  you,  little  one  ?  Did  they  discharge  you  ? " 


148  MADAME  PANTALON 

"  Not  a  bit  of  it,  M.  le  Maire,  quite  the  con- 
trary, they  have  promoted  me  a  step,  since  they 
have  made  me  rural  guard." 

"  She  won't  give  it  up ;  did  one  ever  see  such 
a  mule  of  a  girl  ?  " 

"Go  to  the  chateau,  Farineux;  you  can  get  no 
explanation,  except  from  the  old  captain's  niece." 

"  Here  is  the  captain's  niece !  what  do  you  want 
of  her?  I  am  ready  to  answer  you." 

It  was  Cesarine,  who  was  pushing  through  the 
peasants  to  reach  the  mayor.  Curious  to  know  the 
result  of  the  proclamation,  to  see  the  effect  it  had 
produced  on  the  natives,  she  had  left  the  chateau 
a  short  time  after  the  gardener's  daughter,  and,  not 
finding  the  damsel  in  the  square,  had  learned  from 
an  old  woman  that  they  had  taken  the  drummer- 
girl  before  the  mayor. 

The  unexpected  arrival  of  the  captain's  niece 
made  a  sensation  at  the  mairie,  the  more  so  as  she 
assumed  a  very  arrogant  tone,  holding  her  riding 
crop  in  her  hand,  and  appearing  much  irritated. 

But  Nanon  uttered  an  exclamation  of  joy,  and 
ran  to  Cesarine. 

"Oh,  madame!"  she  cried,  "you  did  well  to 
come  —  they  don't  want  me  to  be  rural  guard,  and 
Farineux  wanted  to  put  me  in  prison." 

"Is  this  girl  telling  the  truth,  monsieur?  By 
what  right  do  you  arrest  my  people  ? " 

"  And  by  what  right  does  she  want  to  take  my 
place?" 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK       149 

"  Hold  your  tongue,  Farineux,  and  let  me  speak 
to  madame ;  but  first  of  all,  madame,  will  it  not 
please  you  to  be  seated." 

"  That  is  unnecessary,  monsieur,  I  am  in  a  hurry 
to  be  gone.  You  are  the  mayor  of  Bretigny  ?  " 

"  Yes,  madame,"  replied  the  mayor,  "  and,  as 
the  principal  authority  of  this  country  side,  I  ask 
you  what  this  joke  means,  for  I  cannot  think  that 
you  were  serious  in  styling  that  young  girl  a  rural 
guard." 

"  And  why  should  I  not  mean  it  seriously, 
monsieur  ? " 

"  Because  that  office  is  filled  by  a  man." 

"  My  friends  and  I,  authorized  by  my  uncle, 
are  going  to  change  all  that.  We  have  enough 
information,  talent,  strength,  courage,  to  fill  any 
employment  now  engaged  in  by  man." 

"  Madame,  I  do  not  doubt  your  talents  or  your 
skill.  You  can  do  anything  you  please  at  M.  de 
Vabeaupont's,  take  women  and  make  coachmen  or 
grooms  of  them  —  that  is  your  business  ;  but  you 
have  not  the  right  to  dismiss  a  rural  guard  or  to 
nominate  another." 

"  No  right !  is  not  my  uncle  lord  of  the  manor 
in  this  village  ?  " 

"  Good  heavens !  Madame,  since  you  are  so 
well-informed  you  ought  to  know  that  there  are  no 
lords  of  the  manor  now  ;  there  are  proprietors, 
some  of  whom  are  very  rich,  and  who  do  a  great 
deal  of  good  among  the  poor  of  the  country,  when 


150  MADAME  PANTALON 

they  are  charitable  ;  but  they  cannot  nominate  the 
rural  guards,  for  all  that.  In  towns  there  are  pre- 
fects and  sub-prefects ;  and  in  small  communities 
there  are  the  mayor  and  his  assistant  and  the  mem- 
bers of  the  municipal  council ;  it  is  they,  madame, 
who  appoint  to  all  vacant  offices." 

Cesarine  bit  her  lips,  she  felt  she  was  beaten 
by  the  village  authority  ;  but  she  presently  an- 
swered,— 

"  What !  my  uncle  owns  a  great  deal  of  prop- 
erty in  this  country ;  meadows,  vineyards  and 
fields,  and  cannot  he  have  them  guarded  by  who- 
ever he  wishes,  to  prevent  his  grapes  being  eaten 
or  his  vegetables  and  fruits  stolen  ?  " 

"  Pardon  me,  madame,  your  uncle  can,  if  he  so 
pleases,,  send  all  his  domestics  to  watch  over  his 
property,  but  that  will  not  prevent  Farineux,  the 
rural  guard,  from  having  an  eye  to  it  also." 

"  Yes,  yes,  I  shall  have  an  eye  to  it.  And  if 
madame  wants  any  proclamations  read  I  shall  make 
them  very  differently  to  Nanon,  who  says  very 
stupid  things.  But,  as  I  have  burst  my  drum, 
if  madame  likes,  Nanon  can  accompany  me  with 
hers." 

Cesarine  did  not  answer  the  rural  guard,  but  said 
to  the  mayor, — 

"  Monsieur,  is  it  also  forbidden  to  beat  a  drum 
in  the  village  ?  my  friends  and  I  are  having  a  uni- 
form made  —  " 

"  Do  you  wish  to  be  a  National  Guard,  madame  ? " 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK       151 

"  Not  yet,  monsieur ;  we  shall  see  about  that, 
later  on ;  meanwhile,  when  we  go  out  in  a  body, 
a  drum  at  our  head  would  be  very  nice." 

"  So  long  as  it  is  not  to  encroach  on  the  rights 
of  the  rural  guard,  but  to  merely  amuse  yourselves, 
beat  your  drum  as  much  as  you  please ;  they  will 
think  there  are  some  mountebanks  in  the  village  — 
that  is  all." 

Madame  Pantalon  bit  her  lips  again  ;  she  bowed 
to  the  mayor  and,  making  a  sign  to  Nanon  to  fol- 
low her,  returned  to  the  chateau. 

Nanon  followed  her  mistress,  saying  to  herself, — 

"  How  funny  that  mayor  is  to  want  that  there 
should  be  no  lords  now;  then  why  do  they  sing, — 

Yours  is  the  right  supreme 
As  lord  of  this  village  ? 

No  later  than  yesterday  I  heard  Mamzelle  Elvina 
singing  and  playing  that  on  her  piano." 

Some  days  passed  while  they  were  impatiently 
awaiting  Fouillac.  To  pass  the  time  they  drilled  ; 
Lundi-Gras  gave  the  ladies  lessons  in  fencing  and 
taught  them  to  fire  a  pistol  and  to  draw  a  sword  ; 
he  even  wanted  to  show  them  how  to  handle  a 
boarding  pike,  but  this  weapon  was  refused  by  the 
Independents,  who  had  not  as  yet  any  intention  of 
entering  the  naval  or  merchant  service. 

At  length  a  letter  from  Fouillac  announced  his 
return  on  the  following  day,  with  all  the  uniforms. 

He  begged  Cesarine  to  send  the  captain's  old 


152  MADAME  PANTALON 

chaise  to  Noyon  to  get  the  numerous  packages, 
which  were  to  come  by  rail  addressed  to  the  ladies 
at  the  chateau. 

The  ladies  uttered  joyful  exclamations.  They 
were  burning  for  the  morrow.  Lundi-Gras  was  to 
go  with  the  chaise  to  Noyon,  and  bring  back  the 
charming  Fouillac  and  the  much-desired  vestments. 

They  voted  a  compliment  to  the  person  who  had 
executed  their  commissions  so  well,  and  Paolina 
took  it  upon  herself  to  write  one  in  verse;  Madame 
Dutonneau  had  proposed  that  they  should  kiss 
him,  but  this  proposition  was  vetoed  by  the  ma- 
jority. The  scratches  of  which  he  bore  the  marks 
had  done  him  a  great  injury. 

The  day  came,  the  chaise  had  gone.  All  the 
ladies  had  risen  very  early,  although  they  did  not 
expect  Fouillac  till  towards  midday.  They  break- 
fasted hurriedly.  In  vain  the  captain  said  to  his 
guests, — 

"  Triple  portholes,  mesdames,  give  yourselves 
time  to  eat !  Your  uniforms  won't  get  here  any 
sooner  because  you  choke  yourselves." 

"  Oh,  captain,  we  are  so  curious  to  see  them." 

"  And  to  put  them  on." 

"  We  shall  put  them  on  as  soon  as  they  get 
here." 

"  And  we'll  all  come  before  the  captain  and  he 
shall  pass  us  in  review." 

"  And  I  shall  give  each  of  you  a  pretty  rifle  that 
I  have  had  purchased  on  purpose  to  offer  to  you." 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK      153 

"  Thank  you,  captain  !  " 

"  And  some  sabres  ?  " 

"  We  shall  see  later  on.  You  are  not  going  to 
war  immediately." 

Nanon  was  placed  on  picket  duty  on  the  road, 
to  watch  for  the  arrival  of  the  vehicle  ;  the  captain 
had  consented  to  let  her  take  his  speaking-trum- 
pet, into  which  she  was  to  shout,  "  Here  they  are." 
Cesarine  wanted  her  to  fire  a  gun,  but  the  young 
girl  refused  and  took  the  speaking-trumpet. 

The  moment  she  spied  the  chaise,  instead  of 
shouting,  "  Here  they  are !  "  as  she  had  been  in- 
structed, Nanon,  who  was  thinking  of  her  favorite 
repast,  bellowed  "  Sixteen  eggs !  "  but  this  passed 
unnoticed  except  by  a  peasant  on  the  road,  who 
remarked, — 

"  Begorra,  what  an  omelette  !  " 

All  the  ladies  came  running  to  receive  the  chaise. 
It  arrived  at  last,  bringing  the  trunks  and  Fouillac, 
who  was  overwhelmed  with  thanks  and  shakings 
of  the  hand;  then  Madame  £toile  advanced  and 
prepared  to  read  her  verses  to  him  ;  but  the  ladies 
threw  themselves  on  the  parcels,  each  one  seized 
the  one  addressed  to  her  and  bore  it  off,  saying, — 

"  We  are  going  to  dress." 

"  You  can  pay  your  compliment  later  on." 

"  Yes,  yes  ;  let's  go  and  dress  !  " 

Paolina  decided  to  do  as  did  the  others,  though 
she  muttered  rather  discontentedly, — 

"Hum,  how  fond  of  adornment  they  are,  how 


154  MADAME  PANTALON 

full  of  coquetry !  I  know  this  costume  will  become 
me  well." 

Fouillac,  who  had  no  desire  to  hear  Madame 
Etoile's  verses,  went  to  keep  the  captain  company, 
that  gentleman  being  still  at  the  table. 

At  the  end  of  an  hour,  for  these  ladies  took 
pains  with  their  toilets,  the  buzz  of  many  voices 
announced  their  approach  ;  they  all  came  in,  hur- 
rying to  let  the  captain  see  them,  who  made  them 
stand  in  rank  before  him  and  then  shouted  with 
laughter  and  exclaimed,  — 

"  So  that's  how  you  put  yourselves  into  uniform, 
is  it  ?  I  compliment  you." 

In  fact  no  two  of  these  ladies  were  dressed 
alike.  The  skirts,  in  the  first  place,  varied  in  color 
or  design  ;  the  jackets  were  blue,  but  one  of  them 
was  profusely  trimmed  with  passementerie,  another 
was  plainly  bound ;  one  had  four  rows  of  buttons, 
another  had  one ;  some  had  gilt  buttons,  some 
silver.  The  head  coverings  differed  as  greatly ; 
some  of  them  had  round  caps,  some  square  ;  police 
helmets,  busbies,  with  feathers,  aigrettes,  or  cords 
or  tassels ;  in  short,  the  costumes  were  very  nice  — 
but,  they  were  not  uniform. 

As  at  first  each  of  these  ladies  had  been  so  taken 
up  in  looking  at  herself  that  she  had  not  noticed 
anyone  else,  it  was  not  until  they  were  all  gathered 
together  that  they  perceived  the  trifling  resem- 
blance that  existed  between  their  new  costumes, 
Cesarine  scowled  and  said, — 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE   KOCK       155 

"  Confound  it,  mesdames  !  Is  this  how  you  have 
followed  my  instructions?" 

Madame  Grassouillet  answered,  in  a  very  de- 
cided tone, — 

"You  proclaimed  that  we  were  Independents! 
wherefore,  then,  should  we  not  do  as  we  please?" 

"  Madame  is  right,"  said  the  captain.  "It  is 
exactly  like  those  men  who  prate  about  liberty, 
and  who  want  to  compel  everybody  to  be  of  their 
opinion." 


CHAPTER  VII 

GREAT  WORKS.    THE  LADIES  ESTABLISH  A 
JOURNAL 

LET  us  leave  these  strong-minded  ladies  for  a 
short  time,  and  return  to  their  husbands  —  the 
poor,  deserted  husbands  !  What  was  I  going  to 
say  ?  I  was  absolutely  going  to  pity  them,  whereas 
commiseration  would  be  entirely  thrown  away  on 
these  gentlemen  ;  Adolphe  was  now  free  to  plead 
without  his  wife  meddling  with  his  cases  or  his 
clients  ;  M.  Etoile  was  no  longer  obliged  to  listen 
to  his  muse's  metrical  utterances — which  were  any- 
thing but  entertaining  to  him  ;  M.  Bouchetrou 
had  plenty  of  time  to  get  vaccinated,  and  could 
dress  as  his  fancy  dictated;  M.  Vespuce  could  take 
his  shirtmaker  out  walking  as  often  as  he  pleased ; 
M.  Grassouillet  was  no  longer  obliged  to  witness 
his  Amandine's  coquetries;  and,  lastly,  handsome 
Dutonneau  could  feast  as  many  grisettes  as  he 
pleased  at  the  restaurant.  So  you  see,  these  hus- 
bands were  by  no  means  to  be  pitied ;  and  it  is 
probably  the  same  with  many  others  whom  it  is 
needless,  and,  indeed,  would  be  out  of  place  for  me 
to  mention  here. 

Why  are   there   so  many   husbands   who  feel 

156 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK      157 

lighter,  more  cheerful,  more  disposed  to  amuse 
themselves  when  they  are  away  from  their  wives, 
whom  sometimes  they  love  very  fondly  ?  Is  it  not 
the  ladies'  fault,  in  that  they  assume  the  part  of 
preceptors  to  their  husbands,  and  scold  them  much 
as  the  former  scold  their  scholars  when  they  are 
wayward  and  do  not  know  their  lessons  ? 

It  would  be  so  easy  for  these  ladies  to  desist 
from  scolding ;  if  they  were  to  laugh,  if  they  were 
to  joke  with  their  husbands,  instead  of  being  ill- 
tempered  with  them,  the  latterwould  not  go  abroad 
to  seek  distraction  and  pleasure. 

What  I  now  say  to  you  is  not  new,  many  authors 
have  said  it  before,  and  these  ladies  have  no  more 
listened  to  them  than  they  will  listen  to  me.  But 
no  matter ;  the  truth  cannot  be  too  often  repeated. 

However,  Frederic  Duvassel  had  not  been  at 
all  surprised  to  learn  that  Madame  Pantalon  had 
separated  from  her  husband;  for,  from  the  very 
day  of  their  wedding,  he  had  foreseen  that  the  couple 
would  not  form  a  peaceable,  amicable  household. 
Frederic  was  incessantly  pursued  by  his  brother, 
who  was  still  in  love  with  Elvina,  and  insisted  on 
seeing  her. 

Adolphe  knew  that  his  wife  and  sister  were  in 
Bretigny,  at  M.  de  Vabeaupont's,  and  he  had  told 
his  friend.  Moreover,  as  all  the  abandoned  hus- 
bands knew  it  also,  these  gentleman  were  perfectly 
acquainted  with  their  wives'  plans,  and  consulted 
among  themselves  whether  they  should  allow  the 


158  MADAME  PANTALON 

ladies  to  work  them  out  or  whether  they  should 
oppose  them. 

Frederic,  who  was  admitted  to  the  husbands' 
meetings,  said  to  them, — 

"  Will  you  allow  me,  gentlemen,  to  give  you  my 
advice  ?  for,  although  I  am  a  bachelor,  I  beg  you 
to  believe  that  I  have  the  most  lively  interest  in 
married  men — in  fact  I  have  a  preference  for  hus- 
bands." 

"  Give  us  your  advice." 

"  Your  better  halves  —  I  think  that  word  very 
deceptive,  for  one  half  usually  resembles  the  other, 
and  in  the  household  it  is  quite  the  contrary  —  no 
matter,  the  word  is  consecrated  —  let  us  pass  on ; 
your  wives,  then,  are  very  exalted  in  their  ideas, 
and  they  have  been  carried  away  by  notions  which 
are  novel  to  them.  I  don't  think  it  is  necessary 
to  take  the  thing  seriously.  It  will  not  be  long  be- 
fore they  are  obliged  to  recognize  how  impossible 
of  realization  are  their  plans.  The  essential  thing 
is  to  make  them  feel  some  inconveniences ;  but  to 
do  that  we  must  not  laugh  at  them,  but  must,  on 
the  contrary,  appear  to  take  the  thing  seriously. 
Will  you  allow  me  to  act  for  you,  and  promise  me 
one  thing  only — to  second  me  when  I  have  need 
of  you." 

"Yes,  yes— " 

"  Act  for  us,  we  give  you  a  free  hand." 

"  Well,  then,  messieurs,  I  am  certain  that  before 
long  the  sheep  will  return  to  the  fold." 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK      159 

"You  needn't  hurry  yourself,  you  know." 

"  Give  yourself  time." 

"  Oh,  I  shall  act  prudently.  Tomorrow  I  shall 
go  and  establish  myself  in  the  village  of  Bretigny; 
I  think  I  shall  do  well  to  seek  a  lodging  at  some 
peasant's.  From  there  I  can  direct  my  batteries — 
and  I  shall  write  to  Adolphe  as  soon  as  I  have 
anything  of  interest  to  communicate  to  you." 

"That's  understood." 

"  But  act  only  little  by  little." 

"  Be  easy  as  to  that ;  I  am  perfectly  aware  that 
we  must  allow  tthese  ladies  the  time  to  get  bored 
because  of  their  separation  from  you,  if  it  only  be 
from  the  desire  to  torment  you." 

Young  Gustave  was  wild  with  delight  when  his 
brother  said  to  him, — 

"  We  are  going  to  Bretigny  tomorrow  ? " 

"  What  luck  !  to  the  captain's  chateau  ?  Shall 
we  be  with  the  ladies  ?  " 

"  That  would  be  very  clever.  We  should  be 
ill-received,  perhaps  shown  the  door.  We  must, 
on  the  contrary,  manage  so  that  no  one  in  the 
chateau  suspects  we  are  in  the  village.  Pay  strict 
attention  to  this,  Gustave,  I  will  only  take  you 
with  me  on  the  condition  that  you  obey  me  strictly ; 
that  you  do  not  seek  to  see  Mademoiselle  Elvina 
before  I  give  you  permission  ;  that  you  do,  in  fact, 
all  that  I  tell  you." 

"Yes,  brother,  I  promise.  But  then  I  shill  be 
near  her,  in  the  same  place  in  which  she  is  living." 


160  MADAME  PANTALON 

"  Adolphe  told  me  that  his  wife's  maid,  little 
Aglae,  did  not  share  her  mistress'  ideas.  I  must 
contrive  to  get  hold  of  that  young  woman." 

"  Yes,  and  we  must  attach  her  to  our  interest." 

"  That  concerns  me.  You  will  not  go  prowling 
about  the  chateau,  or  I'll  send  you  back  to  Paris." 

The  next  day  Frederic  arrived  in  Bretigny, 
accompanied  by  Gustave  and  his  valet,  named 
La  Brie,  a  very  intelligent  fellow  of  whom  he  hoped 
to  make  use  in  the  plan  he  had  conceived. 

It  was  not  difficult  for  the  traveller  to  find  a 
lodging  with  one  of  the  villagers,  above  all  as  he 
did  not  show  himself  exacting  and  was  willing  to 
pay  without  bargaining.  Frederic  gave  the  prefer- 
ence to  a  peasant  named  Matois,1  whose  physi- 
ognomy denoted  that  he  was  rightly  named. 

Hardly  was  he  installed  at  the  peasant's,  whose 
wife  seemed  very  fond  of  talking,  when  Frederic 
inquired  about  the  persons  living  at  the  chateau. 

"Ah,  they've  got  some  queer  people  there,  just 
now,"  said  the  woman. 

"  What  do  I  understand  you  to  say  ?  Does  the 
chateau  no  longer  belong  to  M.  de  Vabeaupont?" 

"Yes,  indeed.  But  what  I  wanted  to  say  was 
that  his  niece,  who  is  now  Madame  Pantalon,  has 
installed  herself  there  with  a  parcel  of  women  who 
have  had  it  drummed  about  that  if  any  one  has 
work  he  wants  done  in  the  neighborhood,  they  will 
undertake  to  do  it  for  nothing." 

1  Matois  :  Cunning,  sharp,  sly. 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK       161 

"  Indeed  !  Why,  it  seems  to  me  that  that  propo- 
sition should  not  be  distasteful  to  you." 

"  Pshaw  !  leave  them  alone  for  that ;  it  was  only 
to  make  game  of  us  that  they  had  that  proclama- 
tion made.  What  proves  it  to  be  a  farce,  they 
wanted  to  make  Nanon,  the  gardener's  daughter, 
their  rural  guard,  but  Farineux,  who  occupies  that 
place,  would  not  listen  to  it !  —  nor  the  mayor 
either." 

"  They  were  perhaps  wrong.  I  should  have  let 
them  do  it  to  see  how  it  would  turn  out." 

"Indeed!  I  should  have  been  well  protected 
against  pilferers  by  that  Nanon,  who's  as  greedy  as 
she  can  be,  and  can't  pass  a  currant  or  gooseberry 
bush  without  picking  some.  By  the  way,  Matois, 
there  is  still  a  breach  in  our  garden  wall  by  which 
any  one  that  likes  can  come  in  to  the  premises ; 
haven't  you  been  to  Giraud,  the  mason,  to  tell  him 
to  come  and  mend  it  for  us  ? " 

"  I  did  and  he  would  have  come,  he  even  sent 
his  tools  and  his  mortar ;  but  this  morning  he  got 
a  sprain  and  he  isn't  able  to  budge." 

"  If  that  is  the  case,  there  is  no  knowing  when 
we  shall  get  it  mended — that's  a  nice  thing,  that  is." 

"  Well,  Father  Matois,"  said  Frederic,  "it seems 
to  me  that  here  is  an  occasion  for  assuring  yourself 
of  the  good-will  and  talent  of  these  ladies  at  the 
chateau.  Go  there  and  ask  for  a  mason,  or  rather 
a  masoness,  to  mend  the  breach  in  your  wall. 
What  risk  do  you  run  —  since  they  will  do  it  for 

Vol.  XXI 


162  MADAME  PANTALON 

nothing  ?  If  they  don't  do  it  well,  you  won't  lose 
any  money." 

"  You  want  me  to  go  to  the  chateau  and  ask  for 
a  mason  in  petticoats  ?  Why,  the  idea  !  I  should 
never  dare,  monsieur,  they  would  send  me  off  with 
a  flea  in  my  ear." 

"  You  are  wrong  —  I  am  persuaded  that  so  far 
from  sending  you  away  Madame  Pantalon  and  her 
followers  will  be  delighted  to  see  that  their  proc- 
lamation has  taken  effect." 

"  These  gentlemen  are  right,"  said  Madame 
Matois ;  "  you  go  there,  my  man,  they  can't  eat 
you  —  and  mercy,  since  it  will  cost  us  nothing  we 
may  as  well  try  it." 

"  Well,  wife,  since  you  all  advise  me  to  do  so 
I  will  go  at  once." 

"Yes,  go,  Father  Matois,  but  don't  say  that 
you  have  Parisians  lodging  with  you  —  we  have 
our  reasons  for  not  wishing  them  to  know  it  at  the 
chateau." 

"  Enough  said,  monsieur ;  since  that  is  your 
wish  —  and,  then,  I  think  I  understand.  Ha,  ha, 
ha!  I'm  going  to  look  for  a  mason  in  petticoats." 

Father  Matois  was  gone.  The  young  men 
placed  themselves  in  a  room  of  which  the  window 
overlooked  the  highway  which  led  to  the  chateau. 
From  thence  they  could  see  if  their  host  brought 
back  anyone  with  him. 

"Suppose  Elvina  should  come!"  said  Gustave 
to  his  brother. 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK      163 

"  Do  you  think  she  will  ?  Do  you  suppose  that 
young  girl  has  any  liking  for  the  occupation  of  a 
mason  ?  I  feel  sure  no  one  will  come ;  but  I  am 
curious  to  know  what  they  will  say  to  Father 
Matois." 

When  the  peasant  reached  the  chateau,  he  found 
Lundi-Gras  in  the  courtyard  and  the  latter  asked 
the  old  man  what  he  wanted. 

"  Monsieur  Cabin-boy,"answered  Father  Matois 
(for  in  the  country  Lundi-Gras  had  never  been 
otherwise  named),  "  you  have  with  you  here  some 
ladies  who  are  willing  to  do  all  kinds  of  work  and 
charge  nothing  for  it." 

"There's  a  small  battalion  of  women  here;  I've 
shown  them  how  to  use  arms  and  mount  a  horse. 
Well?" 

"  Well,  I  have  a  wall  that  needs  mending  —  and 
I  come  to  ask  for  a  workwoman." 

"  Do  you  think  I've  taught  my  pupils  to  build 
houses  ? " 

"  Take  me  to  Madame  Pantalon.  I  came  be- 
cause of  her  proclamation.  It  is  her  I  have  to  do 
with." 

Lundi-Gras  shrugged  his  shoulders,  but  he  said 
to  the  peasant,  "  Follow  me !  " 

The  Independents  were  gathered  in  a  vast  hall 
which  they  had  taken  for  their  deliberations.  They 
were  engaged  in  establishing  the  rules  of  their 
society  and  had  not  yet  succeeded  in  adopting  a 
single  article,  when  Lundi-Gras  presented  himself, 


164  MADAME  PANTALON 

followed  by  Father  Matois,  and  addressed  himself 
to  Cesarine, — 

"  Captain,  here's  a  man  who  lives  in  the  village 
and  wants  something  of  you." 

"Speak,  honest  man,  what  do  you  want?" 
"  Madame,  pardon  me,  excuse  the  liberty  I  take 
— but  you  have  had  it  drummed  about  the  village 
that  you  will  undertake  —  free  of  charge  —  to  help 
us,  in  no  matter  what,  so  that  we  shall  have  no  need 
to  apply  to  men  for  their  services." 
"Certainly,  and  what  then  ?  " 
"  Madame,  I  have  a  wall  that  needs  mending, 
and  I  come  to  ask  of  the  one  among  you  who  is 
a  mason  if  she  will  come  to  work  at  my  place." 

All  the  ladies  looked  at  him ;  they  had  not  ex- 
pected to  be  required  for  that  kind  of  work ;  they 
could  already  be  heard  whispering  among  them- 
selves,— 

"  As  if  we  would  work  at  his  wall !  " 
"  A  pretty  thing  for  him  to  propose." 
"  This  peasant  must  be  making  game  of  us !  " 
Cesarine  herself  said  in  a  low  voice, — 
"  Devil  carry  him  away  with  his  wall !     It's  very 
vexatious,  though,  ladies,  to  be  obliged  to  reply 
with  a  refusal  to  the  very  first  demand  that  is  made 
upon  us." 

But  the  Widow  Flambart  suddenly  rose,  ex- 
claiming,— 

"  No,  mesdames,  you  are  mistaken,  this  peas- 
ant's request  will  not  be  refused.  It  is  not  a  very 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK       165 

difficult  thing  to  pile  Up  a  little  rubble,  or  plaster 
rubbish  and  stick  it  together  with  mortar.  I  will 
undertake  it." 

"  What,  Madame  Flambart !  you  think  you 
know  how  to  play  the  mason?" 

"  You  have  said  yourself  that  if  one  makes  up 
one's  mind  one  can  accomplish  anything.  A  breach 
in  a  wall  is  but  child's  play.  Peasant,  have  you 
any  plaster,  any  tools  ? " 

"  Oh,  yes,  madame,  I've  all  that  is  necessary ; 
hod,  trowel,  mortar  —  and  some  stones  for  the 
wall." 

"We'll  start  then.  Oh,  by  the  way,  I  must 
have  an  assistant,  a  mason  never  works  without 
an  assistant.  Who  will  come  with  me  ?  " 

Nobody  stirred ;  a  murmur  was  heard  from  all 
sides. 

"  Not  1 1  not  I !  not  I J  " 

Then  Cesarine  called  her  lady's  maid,  and  said 
to  her, — 

"  Aglae,  you  will  accompany  Madame  Flambart 
and  help  her  in  her  mason's  work." 

"You  are  going  to  be  the  hodman,  my  poor 
Aglae,"  said  Elvina  to  the  young  waiting-maid. 
The  latter  pouted  and  muttered, — 

"  But,  madame,  I  have  never  learned  how  —  " 

"  What  one  doesn't  know,  one  can  learn.  Go, 
Aglae,  and  don't  answer  me  back." 

"  But,  madame  " — 

"  Since    Madame    Flambart    gives    you    the 


1 66  MADAME  PANTALON 

example,  it  seems  to  me  you  ought  to  be  able  to 
imitate  her." 

Frederic  and  his  brother  were  at  the  window ;  the 
former  uttered  an  exclamation  of  surprise  when  he 
saw  Madame  Flambart  and  young  Aglae  appear. 

"It  isn't  Elvina,"  said  Gustave. 

"Thank  God  for  that,"  answered  Frederic,  "for 
I  should  never  have  forgiven  her  for  playing  the 
mason.  As  to  poor  Aglae,  by  the  face  she  is  mak- 
ing, it  is  easy  to  see  that  she  does  not  come  here 
to  please  herself.  Here  they  are,  we  mustn't  show 
ourselves.  La  Brie  is  in  the  garden,  but  they 
don't  know  him ;  he  is  a  clever  fellow,  he  has  put 
on  a  blouse  —  they'll  take  him  for  a  peasant." 

Madame  Flambart  walked  proudly  into  the 
house  saying, — 

"Where  is  this  wall?  Let  me  see  it,  and  I  will 
mend  it  for  you  in  two  seconds." 

"  Are  you  the  mason,  madame  ?  "  said  Mother 
Matois,  making  a  fine  curtsey. 

"  I  am  —  anything  I  please ;  I  know  how  to 
do  everything.  Let  us  see  your  breach." 

Father  Matois  took  the  lady  into  his  garden 
and  showed  her  the  space  that  needed  to  be  closed. 
The  stones  were  in  a  heap  quite  near,  and  the 
cement  and  all  the  tools  which  masons  use.  Aglae, 
instead  of  looking  at  these  things,  was  glancing  at 
La  Brie,  who  was  walking  about  a  little  farther  off. 

Madame  Flambart  took  off  her  jacket  and  hat, 
turned  up  her  cuffs,  and  said, — 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK       167 

"  We  must  have  some  water  —  where  is  the 
water  ? " 

"  Madame,  here  are  two  watering-pots  full,  to 
begin  with,  and  when  you  want  more  the  well  is 
not  two  steps  from  here." 

"  That's  all  right.  Now,  my  good  man,  be  off 
with  you !  I  don't  like  any  one  to  watch  me  work- 
ing, it  bothers  me.  If  I  need  you,  I  will  call  you." 

Father  Matois  bowed  and  went  off,  but  did  not 
go  out  of  sight  of  these  new  masons. 

The  Widow  Flambart  did  not  wish  any  one  to 
watch  her  while  she  was  working,  because  she  did 
not  know  where  to  begin  or  what  she  ought  to  do. 
She  examined  the  rubble,  and  said  to  Aglae, — 

"  Let  us  first  place  some  of  these  carefully  one 
on  the  other ;  then  we'll  stick  them  together  with 
mortar  ;  that's  the  way,  isn't  it,  Aglae  ?  " 

"I  think  so,  madame ;  but  I  don't  know  any- 
thing about  that  trade." 

"  Let's  see,  bother  take  it !  these  stones  are 
heavy  to  handle.  Ow  !  one  of  them  has  fallen  on 
my  foot." 

"  You  will  surely  hurt  yourself,  madame." 

"  Pshaw!  I  have  the  courage  of  a  man.  Come, 
Aglae,  bring  me  some  rubble." 

"  Here  you  are,  madame." 

"And  take  care  of  my  feet." 

"  If  I  had  a  wheelbarrow,  I  could  bring  more 
of  them  at  a  time." 

"  You  will  go  just  now  and  ask  for  one ;  but, 


1 68  MADAME  PANTALON 

first  of  all,  we  must  make  some  mortar  to  stick  it 
all  together." 

"  Here  is  the  hod,  madame." 

"  What  must  we  put  in  it  first? " 

"  The  water,  I  think,  madame." 

"  No,  it  must  be  the  plaster — the  cement.  Bring 
a  bag  of  it  here." 

"  Oh,  how  heavy  it  is." 

"Pour  quite  a  lot  in;  this  is  very  interesting — 
this  mason  work.  I  like  it." 

"  So  much  the  better  for  you,  madame." 

"  But  I've  noticed  that  masons  always  sing  at 
their  work." 

"  That  is  true,  madame." 

"  Let  us  sing,  then.  Aglae,  do  you  know  a 
round?" 

"  Mercy  !  no,  madame  !  " 

"Oh,  I  remember,  at  the  Opera-Comique  in  the 
piece  entitled, '  The  Mason.'  Yes,  this  is  it  —  the 
tune  comes  back  to  me, — 

Let  us  hurry,  let  us  work  ! 
And  earn  our  money  well ; 
Workman,  you  must  never  shirk, — 
Let  us  hurry,  let  us  work  ! ' ' 

Well,  Aglae,  are  you  going  to  leave  me  to  sing 
all  alone  ?  " 

"  I  don't  know  that  tune,  madame  !  " 

"  Then  pour  me  some  water." 

"  Here  it  is." 

"Some  cement." 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK       169 

"  Here  it  is,  madame." 

"  Some  more  water." 

"  Here  you  are,  madame." 

"  Now,  some  more  plaster,  I  have  watered  it 
well,  but  it  doesn't  stick." 

"  Oh,  madame,  cement  doesn't  stick  at  once,  it 
takes  time ;  you  must  let  it  be  for  a  while." 

"  I  understand;  I  am  too  quick.  But  I  have 
seen  masons  move  it  about  with  their  hands." 

"With  the  trowel,  madame." 

"  Yes,  but  this  one  is  broken.  Go  and  ask  for 
another." 

Aglae  ran  towards  the  house;  Madame  Flam- 
bart  looked  at  her  cement  for  some  time,  then  she 
began  to  knead  it  with  her  hands. 

"  Plaster  whitens  the  skin,"  she  said,  "  I  am 
not  sorry  to  have  an  occasion  for  trying  it,  it  will 
take  away  the  freckles  I  have  on  my  hands  ;  I 
shall  put  both  of  them  into  it." 

And  Madame  Flambart  left  both  her  hands  in 
the  mortar  and  forgot  to  stir  it.  But  the  cement, 
which  had  received  very  little  water,  suddenly  be- 
came stiff,  and  the  mason,  leaning  over  the  hod, 
said  to  herself, — 

"  Why,  how  funny,  it's  squeezing  my  fingers. 
Why,  it's  squeezing  my  whole  hand.  Good  heav- 
ens !  I  can't  take  them  out,  my  hands  are  im- 
mured. Hallo,  Aglae,  peasant !  Somebody  come 
and  release  me,  quick  !  both  my  hands  are  stuck 
in  this  hod." 


i yo  MADAME  PANTALON 

Nobody  came,  because  Frederic  of  set  purpose 
held  back  the  peasant  and  his  wife,  and  La  Brie 
was  talking  to  Aglae,  who  was  in  no  hurry  to  return 
to  the  mason  work.  Madame  Flambart's  situation 
was  very  disagreeable.  She  was  obliged  to  remain 
as  she  was  before  the  hod,  which  she  could  not 
raise  because  it  was  too  heavy ;  besides,  she  was 
afraid  of  hurting  herself  if  she  tried  to  raise  it.  As 
time  passed  the  cement  became  harder.  She  called, 
she  shouted  and  remained  in  this  plight  for  nearly 
five  minutes. 

At  last  Father  Matois  arrived,  then  Aglae. 

"  This  is  horrible,  monsieur,  for  you  to  leave 
me  with  my  hands  caught  in  this  hod  —  I  called 
—  I  shouted,  and  no  one  answered  me." 

"  Pardon  me,  madame,  but  I  could  not  sus- 
pect—" 

"  Take  me  out  of  this,  monsieur ;  take  me  out 
of  it  quickly  !  " 

"  Dang  it !  that  isn't  an  easy  matter ;  if  I  pull 
you  out,  I  shall  break  your  hands." 

"  Do  you  think  I  can  stay  glued  to  this  hod  ? 
A  hammer,  monsieur,  a  hammer  quick !  so  you 
may  break  the  cement  that  binds  my  hands." 

But  Aglae  had  already  gone  to  ask  for  one.  She 
presently  brought  another  trowel,  with  which  they 
managed  to  break  the  mortar  and  deliver  the 
Widow  Flambart  from  the  disagreeable  gloves  she 
had  given  herself. 

Directly  she  was  free,  this  lady  kicked  the  hod 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK         171 

over,  put  on  her  hat  again  and  her  jacket,  pulled 
down  her  cuffs,  and  exclaimed, — 

"  Come,  Aglae,  follow  me,  let  us  go — " 

"  What,  madame,  you  are  going  ?  "  said  Father 
Matois,  "  and  what  about  my  wall  ?  " 

"  Don't  bother  me  about  your  wall —  I've  had 
enough  of  the  mason's  trade ;  to  get  my  hands 
stuck  like  that !  They  won't  catch  me  playing  the 
mason  again  —  and  working  in  cement." 

Madame  Flambart  returned  to  the  chateau, 
where  she  related  her  misadventure,  which  made 
the  younger  women  laugh  very  heartily ;  they  made 
fun  of  her  instead  of  pitying  her. 

But  the  next  day  two  other  peasants,  schooled 
by  Frederic,  presented  themselves  at  the  chateau, 
one  in  search  of  a  locksmith,  the  other  of  a  wheel- 
wright ;  this  time  the  villagers  were  rather  sum- 
marily refused.  Cesarine  said  to  them, — 

"  We  leave  rough,  heavy  work  to  men,  they 
are  suited  for  that.  But  of  us  must  be  asked  only 
those  things  which  require  wit,  shrewdness,  talent, 
skill,  tact,  and  imagination." 

"  Then,  why  did  you  have  it  drummed  about 
that  you  would  do  for  nothing  everything  we  were 
in  the  habit  of  getting  done  by  men." 

"  Why  were  you  stupid  enough  to  believe 
everything  that  they  drummed  ?  " 

This  adventure  had  rather  cooled  the  enthusi- 
asm of  the  I  ndependents.  After  having  boasted  that 
they  could  replace  men  successfully,  they  felt  vexed 


172  MADAME  PANTALON 

to  find  that  there  were  a  good  many  things  which 
they  were  unable  to  do,  and  they  said  among  them- 
selves, "  After  all,  it  is  due  to  the  education  they 
gave  us  ;  if  they  had  made  us,  when  quite  young, 
practice  gymnastics  and  learn  to  climb  ladders,  we 
should  now  be  capable  of  acting  as  firemen." 

While  waiting  until  they  could  agree  upon  the 
basis  of  their  corporation,  Madame  Etoile  said 
one  morning  to  the  Independents, — 

"  Mesdames,  instead  of  working  incessantly  at 
framing  rules,  which  is  no  easy  matter,  it  is  a  great 
deal  more  urgent  that  we  should  occupy  ourselves 
in  writing  a  journal,  in  which  we  could  develop  our 
new  ideas  concerning  the  position  of  woman ;  in 
it  we  could  invite  all  those  sharing  our  ideas  to 
affiliate  themselves  with  us,  either  by  correspon- 
dence or  by  an  ambassador.  This  journal  would 
make  us  known  all  over  Europe  —  perhaps  even 
farther  than  that,  no  one  knows  —  and  I  feel  quite 
certain  that  we  should  soon  have  a  great  number 
of  subscribers,  which  would  bring  us  in  some 
money,  of  which  in  all  new  enterprises  one  can 
never  have  too  much  —  too  often  one  has  not 
enough." 

This  proposition  was  received  with  great  ap- 
plause. 

"Yes,  yes,  we  must  establish  a  journal,"  came 
from  all  parts  of  the  room. 

"  That  idea  came  to  me  several  days  ago,"  said 
Madame  Pantalon. 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK       173 

"  I  have  thought  of  it  fora  long  time  past,"  said 
Madame  Bouchetrou. 

"  I  was  going  to  propose  it  to  you  yesterday  and 
then  it  slipped  from  my  mind." 

"  I  have  wanted  to  mention  it  to  you  twenty 
times." 

"And  I,  too." 

"  I  also." 

"  Very  good,  ladies,"  said  Paolina,  sardonically. 
"You  all  have  the  same  ideas  as  I  have;  I  am 
really  delighted  to  have  met  with  you.  You  re- 
mind me  of  that  individual  who,  on  hearing  Vol- 
taire's works  praised,  said, f  A  fine  trick  that !  your 
Voltaire  has  written  all  my  ideas.' ' 

"  No  sharp  words,"  said  Cesarine.  "  Paolina, 
you  were  the  first  to  propose  to  establish  a  journal; 
so  all  the  honor  is  due  to  you.  Let  us  occupy 
ourselves  immediately  in  putting  the  idea  into 
execution.  Let  us  see,  mesdames,  it  is  quite  under- 
stood in  the  first  place  that  we  shall  all  work  on  it?" 

"  Yes,  yes,  all  of  us." 

"  It  will  be  a  pleasure,  besides." 

"  Will  the  journal  appear  daily  ?  " 

"  Oh,  no,  that  would  involve  too  much  work  for 
us  —  it  will  be  hebdomadal." 

"What  does  that  mean,  pray?"  demanded 
Madame  Boulard. 

"That  means  that  it  will  appear  once  a  week." 

"  Very  well." 

"  Is  it  not  necessary  that  each  one  of  us  should 


174  MADAME  PANTALON 

say  what  subject  she  wishes  to  treat  of,  in  order  not 
to  have  several  articles  of  a  similar  nature  ?  " 

"  That  is  correct." 

"  Each  one  must  choose  a  subject." 

"  We  can  write  on  everything,  can't  we  ?  " 

"  Why,  very  nearly  everything.  Let  us  see, 
Madame  Flambart,  what  subject  will  you  treat?" 

"  I  shall  write  on  political  subjects." 

"  Impossible,  we  cannot  mention  politics,  or  we 
shall  have  to  give  security,  and  that  costs  too  much." 

"  Deuce  take  it !  that  is  a  pity ;  and  I  had  so 
many  good  ideas  that  I  could  have  given  to  several 
governments  !  " 

"  You  can  reserve  them  for  another  occasion, 
they  will  keep." 

"If  you  forbid  me  politics,  I  shall  write  on 
marine  subjects,  I  shall  treat  of  fishing." 

"  And  I  shall  write  on  hunting." 

"  I  don't  see  what  connection  all  that  has  with 
the  society  we  wish  to  found.  But  no  matter! 
Let  us  go  on.  How  about  you,  Madame  Gras- 
souillet  ? " 

"  I  shall  write  fashion  articles." 

"  But  there  are  already  several  fashion  journals 
edited  by  women  —  that  will  only  be  a  repetition." 

"  You  are  joking !  one  can  never  have  too  much 
of  fashions  to  please  women ;  in  fact,  they  are  in- 
dispensable." 

"  So  be  it ;  let  us  pass  to  the  next.  And  how 
about  you,  Madame  Vespuce  ? " 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK       175 

"  I  shall  write  a  novel  after  the  English  style." 

"  Very  good  !    And  Madame  Dutonneau  ?  " 

"  I  shall  write  on  corpulence  and  how  advan- 
tageous it  is  for  a  woman  to  become  plump  as  she 
grows  older." 

"  That  is  very  questionable,  madame,"  said  the 
wiry  Olympiade.  "I  assert, on  the  contrary,  that  a 
woman  preserves  her  youth  longer  when  she  is  thin 
and  genteel  than  when  she  grows  so  round  that 
her  waist  is  entirely  obliterated." 

"  I  have  often  heard  my  husband  say  that  flesh 
was  preferable  to  bone,  madame." 

"  A  fig  for  your  husband's  opinion,  madame  ! 
It  seems  to  me  it  is  very  much  out  of  place  to  cite 
those  gentlemen's  opinions  here." 

"  Enough,  mesdames,  enough,"  cried  Cesarine. 
"  Don't  discuss  the  question  further.  One  praises 
stoutness,  the  other  thinness.  Let  us  pass  on." 

Then  each  one  of  the  Independents  chose  her 
specialty.  4 

"  I  shall  treat  of  music." 

"  And  I  of  painting." 

"  And  I,"  said  Madame  Boulard,  "  of  the  great 
progress  which  the  hairdressers  have  made  for  some 
time  past  in  the  art  of  curling  hair." 

"Those  things  are  all  very  futile,  mesdames, and 
scarcely  have  any  connection  with  the  new  ideas 
that  we  wish  to  put  forth  touching  the  capacities 
of  our  sex." 

"  We  shall  arrive  there  by  a  detour." 


1 76  MADAME  PANTALON 

"  Let  us  hope  so." 

"  As  for  me,  I  can  make  the  most  superlative 
jams,  and  I  shall  give  the  recipes  for  them." 

"  My  dear,  let  me  beg  you  not  to  speak  of  jam, 
that  is  altogether  too  far  from  the  question." 

"  I  shall  discuss  the  ridiculousness  of  those  men 
who  wear  corsets." 

"  Very  good  that !  " 

"  They  would  answer  that  you  wear  — " 

"And  if  we  do  wear  —  unmentionable  garments, 
we  do  so  for  modesty  and  decency's  sake ;  while 
the  men  who  put  on  corsets  do  it  out  of  pure  van- 
ity and  to  try  to  make  their  waistcoats  flatter." 

"They  say  there  are  some  men  who  wear  rouge." 

"  Impossible  !  where  could  they  wear  it  ?  " 

"  Not  on  their  noses,  I  presume,  but  on  their 
cheeks,  to  give  them  a  fresh  color." 

"  Why  don't  they  put  on  patches  like  the  mar- 
quises of  former  times  ?  " 

"  Mesdames,  that  seems  to  me  apocryphal ;  I 
have  seen  men  who  had  fine  colors  and  they  would 
have  preferred  to  be  pale,  as  being  more  distin- 
guished ;  besides,  men  do  not  care  about  having 
fresh  complexions." 

"  Before  going  further  permit  me  to  say  to  our 
honorable  commander  that  we  ought  to  reflect 
what  title  we  shall  give  our  journal ;  that  is  a  very 
important  matter." 

"  Yes,  for  the  success  of  a  publication  often  de- 
pends upon  the  title." 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK       177 

"  Don't  be  alarmed,  ladies,  one  will  not  be  lack- 
ing to  us." 

"  But  yet  we  must  choose  one  which  corresponds 
with  our  object." 

"  That  is  true  ;  I  am  of  the  opinion  that  we 
should  decide  on  a  title  forthwith." 

"  Yes,  let  us  try  to  find  one  that  is  both  attrac- 
tive and  witty." 

"You  need  not  look  far,"  said  Widow  Flam- 
bart,  "we  must  call  it,  *  The  Independents'  Jour- 
nal.' " 

"  Hum  —  that  is  very  dry,  and  will  give  rise  to 
many  conjectures.  I  should  like  something  else 
better." 

"  Let  us  call  it  (  The  Feminine,'  that's  very 
pleasing." 

"  Yes,  but  it  does  not  say  enough." 

"'The  New  Crusade.'" 

"  People  will  think  it  is  a  religious  journal." 

"  «  The  Journal  of  the  Fair  Sex  ? '  " 

"  In  a  title  one  must  avoid  speaking  of  sex." 

"  But,  in  the  first  place,  what  color  shall  the 
cover  of  this  journal  be  ?  " 

"  That  is  a  very  important  matter  ;  one  attracts 
people  first  by  means  of  the  eye,  we  must  give  our 
journal  a  pleasing  and  attractive  cover." 

"  Mesdames,  we  must  have  a  yellow  cover." 

"What  are  you  thinking  of?  these  gentlemen 
would  take  that  for  a  confession." 

"  What  about  red  ?  " 

Vol.  XXI 


1 78  MADAME  PANTALON 

"  Oh,  you  see  that  everywhere,  it's  like  musk 
roses." 

"  Blue,  then  ?  " 

"  There  are  some  blue  ones  already. 

"  Chocolate  ?  " 

"  That  is  too  sober." 

"  Lemon,  then,  that's  brilliant,  that  is  ?  " 

"  Yes,  not  bad ;  a  lemon  cover  is  perhaps  agree- 
able to  the  eye  —  it's  rather  dainty.  It  verges  a 
little  on  the  yellow,  but,  after  all,  it  isn't  bad. 
Ladies,  the  lemon  cover  is  adopted." 

"  Yes,  yes,  vote  for  the  lemon." 

"  As  for  me,"  said  Madame  Grassouillet,  "  I 
should  have  preferred  apricot." 

"  No,  lemon  is  much  better." 

"  Adopted.     Lemon  is  adopted." 

"Well,  that's  one  thing  settled;  now,  the  only 
thing  we  haven't  got  is  a  title.  But  it  will  per- 
haps be  better  to  think  of  that  at  our  leisure  and 
to  give  ourselves  time,  in  order  that  we  may  fix 
upon  a  good  one.  As  that  will  not  prevent  our 
writing  the  articles  that  we  intend  for  our  journal, 
I  propose  to  adjourn  the  meeting,  that  we  may  get 
to  work  upon  them." 

"Allow  me  to  remark,  Madame  Pantalon,  that 
in  articles  written  for  a  journal  one  often  has  occa- 
sion to  quote  the  title  of  the  periodical,  and,  con- 
sequently, it  will  be  inconvenient  not  to  know  it." 

"  That  is  correct,  the  last  speaker  is  right ;  and 
then  a  title  helps  one  sometimes  to  know  what  one 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK       179 

ought  to  write,  one  can  turn  and  twist  it  and  often 
get  some  very  taking  expressions." 

"  Then,  mesdames,  let  us  fix  on  a  title,  let  us 
try  to  decide." 

"  What  if  we  were  to  call  it  simply,  the  ( Lemon 
Journal'?" 

"  Oh,  no,  perhaps  they  would  say  people  could 
only  read  it  with  oysters." 

"  Let  us  call  it  the  c  Regenerator.'  " 

"  It  sounds  like  the  name  of  a  cosmetic." 

"  Let  us  give  it  a  comic  title,  let  us  call  it  *  The 
Blunder.' " 

"  That  title  might  suit  a  good  many  journals,  it 
must  not  be  ours ;  we  should  turn  ourselves  into 
ridicule." 

"  Mesdames,"  said  Paolina,  "  I  have  one  that 
will  suit  you,  an  original,  striking  title — one  which 
promises  a  good  deal  and  is  not  at  all  deceptive." 

"  Let  us  hear  this  marvellous  title." 

"The4  Ear-Piercer.'" 

The  ladies  looked  at  each  other,  shook  their 
heads,  then  murmured, — 

"That's  droll  enough." 

"  We  could  find  something  better  than  that." 

"  That  is  no  great  thing." 

"  Why,  yes,  on  the  contrary  it  is  very  promising." 

"  Yes,  the  title  is  original ;  that  is  the  principal 
thing." 

"  Why  not  the  <  Ear-Pincher,'  rather  than  the 
<  Ear-Piercer '  ?  " 


i8o  MADAME  PANTALON 

"  No,  pierce  is  much  the  better ;  we  don't  wish 
to  pinch  anyone,  but  we  do  want  to  pierce  them, 
and  we  will  pierce  them.  Believe  me,  and  settle 
on  this  title.  People  will  criticise  it,  so  much  the 
better.  Mesdames,  it  is  adopted  and  that  is  done 
with;  our  journal  will  be  called  the  '  Ear-  Piercer,' 
and  now  we  will  go  to  work.  When  do  you  wish 
we  should  have  a  meeting  to  bring  our  articles  ? " 

"  We  must  leave  ourselves  time  to  think  them 
out  first." 

"In  three  days,  is  that  too  soon  ? " 

"  As  for  me,  I  shall  write  my  article  tomorrow," 
said  Paolina. 

"  Oh,  well,  it  is  your  vocation  to  write,  you  are 
the  tenth  muse,"  said  Amandine  mockingly. 
"  Everybody  has  not  your  facility.  Three  days  is 
not  any  too  much." 

"  Shall  we  have  a  committee  to  judge  of  the 
articles  ? " 

"  No,"  said  Cesarine,  "  it  is  I  who  will  judge, 
who  will  decide.  You  may  be  quite  assured,  ladies, 
that  I  shall  be  perfectly  impartial.  Besides,  in  case 
I  am  undecided,  I  shall  consult  everybody  and  the 
majority  of  voices  will  decide." 

The  ladies  then  separated  and  ardently  went  to 
work  on  their  future  journal,  for  when  a  new  plan 
dawns  upon  a  woman  she  always  sets  out  towards 
her  end  with  ardor  and  eagerness,  but  are  these 
lasting  ?  That  is  indeed  rare,  it  takes  so  little  to 
distract  a  woman's  thought,  and  one  idea  drives 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK      181 

away  another  as  a  new  love  causes  the  old  one  to 
be  forgotten. 

Elvina  was  the  only  one  who  declared  that  she 
had  no  intention  of  working  on  the  lemon  journal. 

"And  why  will  you  not  write  an  article?"  said 
Cesarine.  "  Big  or  little,  it  is  all  the  same,  in  fact, 
the  shortest  are  often  the  best,  and  have  the  most 
chance  of  being  read  through.  Why  will  you  not 
bring  your  stone  to  the  edifice  we  are  constructing?" 

"  Why,  sister,  I  feel  that  I  have  not  the  talent 
to  write  anything  that  will  be  worth  the  trouble  of 
printing,  and  in  order  to  write  for  a  journal,  it  seems 
to  me,  one  must  have  a  great  deal,  oh,  an  immense 
amount  of  wit." 

"  My  dearest,  you  exaggerate ;  wit  certainly 
never  comes  amiss ;  but  it  is  not  absolutely  in- 
dispensable, and  I  could  cite  a  certain  great  jour- 
nalist who  never  puts  any  in  his  articles,  probably 
because  he  is  afraid  of  using  it.  However,  do  as 
you  please.  When  you  see  the  '  Ear-Piercer*  in 
everybody's  hands,  when  you  hear  its  articles 
praised,  I  venture  to  wager  that  you  will  wish  that  it 
contained  some  of  your  prose  or  verse." 

"  Are  you  going  to  have  verses  in  it  ? " 

"  Of  course,  everything  that  other  journals 
have." 

For  three  days  the  Independents  appeared  to 
be  deeply  occupied,  and  consulted  much  among 
themselves.  The  captain  was  greatly  perplexed  ; 
he  scarcely  saw  the  ladies  except  at  mealtimes,  and 


1 82  MADAME  PANTALON 

even  then  they  were  much  less  talkative.  The 
old  sailor  did  not  approve  this,  and  he  said  to  his 
niece, — 

"  What  the  devil  are  you  thinking  of — you  and 
your  friends  ?  You  don't  talk  or  laugh  or  dispute 
as  you  used.  You  seem  to  have  something  on  your 
minds  that  I  am  not  aware  of.  What  has  hap- 
pened to  you  ?  Women  who  don't  talk  —  why  the 
thing  is  quite  unnatural.  There's  something  ex- 
traordinary under  all  this." 

"  Well,  uncle,  the  reason  of  our  preoccupation 
is  that  we  are  about  to  issue  a  journal." 

"  A  journal !  What  for  ?  aren't  there  enough 
of  them  already  ?  " 

"  We  are  going  to  publish  a  journal  to  spread 
abroad  our  ideas,  propagate  our  principles  ;  in  fact, 
to  give  light  to  the  women  who  are  still  blind." 

"  If  you  make  a  journal  for  blind  women,  they 
won't  be  able  to  read  it." 

"  A  figure  of  speech,  uncle !  When  we  say  show 
light  to  anyone,  we  mean  open  their  minds." 

"  But  when  they  have  no  minds,  what  can  you 
open  then  ? " 

"  One  can  enlarge  their  ideas  and  clear  their 
understanding.  Tomorrow  each  one  will  bring  her 
article.  I  shall  put  them  together  and  have  the 
f  Ear- Piercer '  printed  at  Noyon,  where  it  will  cost 
less  than  at  Paris  ;  later  on,  M.  Fouillac  will  un- 
dertake to  find  some  one  in  Paris  who  will  sell  it 
and  circulate  it  everywhere." 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK       183 

"  What  are  you  going  to  call  your  periodical  ?  " 
inquired  the  captain. 

"  The  <  Ear-Piercer.'  " 

"  Are  you  going  to  give  premiums  ?  " 

"  Oh,  no,  uncle,  they  give  them  so  much  now, 
it  has  become  too  common  —  we  shall  promise 
them,  but  we  shall  not  give  them,  that  will  show 
a  great  deal  more  wit." 

Upon  the  day  fixed  for  the  editing  of  the  jour- 
nal, the  ladies  assembled  at  noon  in  the  large  hall 
which  they  had  adopted  for  their  deliberations. 
Cesarine  placed  herself  at  a  long  table  loaded  with 
the  necessary  writing  materials;  then,  when  all 
were  seated,  she  rang  a  bell,  upon  which  an  omi- 
nous silence  ensued,  and  she  began, — 

"  Madame  Etoile,  as  you  were  the  first  to  sug- 
gest the  establishment  of  the  journal,  it  is  for  you 
to  begin.  Will  you  have  the  goodness  to  read  your 
article  to  us  ? " 

"Oh,  I'm  not  in  any  hurry,"  answered  Paolina. 
"  Besides,  as  head  of  the  Independents,  I  really 
think  it  is  you  who  are  entitled  to  the  honors, 
Madame  Pantalon." 

"  Me  ?  I  don't  see  the  necessity  of  reading  to 
you  what  I  have  written,  mesdames,"  answered 
Cesarine  coldly ;  "  in  the  first  place  it  is  rather 
long,  and  in  the  second,  even  if  my  article  should 
not  please  you  I  am  fully  determined  not  to  change 
it ;  consequently,  if  you  read  it  in  print  that  will 
be  quite  sufficient  for  all  intents  and  purposes." 


1 84  MADAME  PANTALON 

"  Yes,  yes  !  " 

"  And  we  shall  have  a  pleasurable  surprise." 

"  Since  Madame  Etoile  wishes  to  keep  the  best 
things  for  the  last,"  said  a  young  woman,  "  I  will 
read  mine  —  here  is  what  I  have  written.  Don't 
be  uneasy,  it's  not  very  long." 

"  Why,  it  would  be  much  better  if  it  were  long. 
But  no  matter,  read  it." 

The  young  tyro  rose,  coughed  a  little,  then  read 
from  a  sheet  of  paper  which  she  held  in  her  hand, — 

"  One  of  the  friends  of  my  infancy,  I  will  simply  call  her 

Madame  X ,  is  very  well-known  among  artists  ;    she  plays 

beautifully  on  the  piano,  but  she  is  a  great  flirt  and  makes  eyes 
at  all  the  men  ;  she  tries  to  make  herself  pleasing  to  my  husband. 
The  latter  is  a  wretch,  who  does  not  deserve  that  I  should  be 

jealous,  but  Madame  X says  everywhere  that  I  have  villan- 

ously  bad  teeth,  that  I  have  false  ones  even  ;  this  is  not  true. 
I  know  various  things  about  her  which  make  her  company  any- 
thing but  agreeable,  and  if  she  dares  to  say  a  word  about  my  teeth 
again,  I  warn  her  that  I  shall  divulge  all  her  infirmities  and  the 
list  will  be  long. 

"There!" 

"And  is  that  what  you  want  to  put  in  our  jour- 
nal ? "  asked  Cesarine. 

"  Of  course  it  is  !  I  shall  sign  it ;  and  the  friend 
of  my  childhood  will  easily  recognize  it." 

"  But  what  does  it  matter  to  the  public  that 

Madame  X says  that  your  teeth  are  bad  and 

that  she  has  herself  some  personal  secrets  ?  Do 
you  think  that  will  interest  our  readers  ?  " 

"  Mercy  !    I  see  by  the  papers  every  day  that 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK       185 

the  men  who  write  in  them  dispute  with  others 
whom  we  don't  know.  It  doesn't  interest  me  at 
all,  but,  all  the  same,  there  it  is !  " 

"  My  dear  friend,  there  is  one  of  Boileau's 
verses  which  says  that  when  any  one  wishes  to 
model  himself  on  other  people,  he  should  try  to 
resemble  them  on  their  good  side." 

"It  was  not  Boileau  who  said  that,  it  was 
Moliere." 

"  Boileau  or  Moliere  !  what  does  it  matter  ? 
Your  article  has  not  the  slightest  sympathy  with 
the  spirit  of  our  journal.  No  matter,  I  will  put  it 
in.  Now,  some  one  else." 

Madame  Dutonneau  read  a  long  article  on  the 
advantages  enjoyed  by  stout  women,  and  on  the 
charm  that  an  abundance  of  flesh  lends  to  the  whole 
person.  She  ended  by  giving  a  diet  which  could 
not  fail  to  fatten  those  who  followed  it  strictly. 

After  this  lady,  Olympiade,  tall  and  slender,  has- 
tened to  take  the  word,  and  read  an  article  in  which 
she  vaunted  the  advantages  of  a  slim,  slender 
figure,  light  and  free  in  its  movements,  unincum- 
bered  by  mounds  of  flesh  —  always  inconvenient 
and  ungraceful,  and  which  prematurely  ages  those 
who  are  unfortunate  enough  to  possess  a  too- 
abundant  rotundity  of  abdomen  and  several  chins. 

Finally,  Madame  Bouchetrou  sought  to  prove 
that  thinness  was  the  most  agreeable  state  for  a 
woman,  and  ended  by  giving  a  receipt  to  prevent 
those  who  followed  it  from  getting  fat. 


1 86  MADAME  PANTALON 

After  the  reading  of  these  two  articles  their 
authors  looked  at  each  other  like  two  china  dogs. 

Dainty  Madame  Vespuce  took  a  manuscript 
out  of  her  bag,  and  rose  and  said,  in  a  voice  that 
was  full  of  feeling, — 

"  Mesdames,  I  have  written  my  romance,  and  it 
will  be  very  agreeable  to  me  if  you  will  consent  to 
hear  me  read  it." 

"  What  do  you  mean  by  that  ?  Why,  nothing 
will  please  us  better.  But  will  it  not  tire  you  to 
read  it?" 

"  On  the  contrary,  it  will  afford  me  pleasure,  for 
I  shall  then  see  the  impression  my  work  produces 
upon  you,  and  afterwards  your  criticism  will  be  wel- 
come —  I  only  ask  that  you  be  quite  sincere. 
Don't  spare  me  !  be  frank  —  your  precious  coun- 
sels shall  guide  me." 

"  Read,  my  dear  madame,  we  will  listen  to  you 
with  the  greatest  attention,  and  will  be  careful  not 
to  interrupt  you.  You  hear,  ladies,  interruptions 
are  forbidden." 

"  We  will  be  careful  to  obey." 


CHAPTER  VIII 

MADAME  VESPUCE'S  NOVEL  AND  How  SHE 
READ  IT  WITHOUT  INTERRUPTION 

THE  new  literary  woman  unrolled  her  manu- 
script with  a  little  flourish ;  she  turned  over  the 
leaves,  and  looked  at  it  with  something  of  the  love 
of  a  tender  father  lost  in  admiration  of  his  child. 
Beside  her  was  the  traditional  glass  of  sugared 
water  with  which  she  was  to  moisten  her  lips. 
There  are  authors  who  prefer  a  glass  of  Bordeaux 
wine.  I  even  knew  one  who  would  never  read 
without  having  near  him  a  bottle  of  champagne  of 
which  he  often  drank  the  entire  contents,  sometimes 
it  did  not  suffice  him  and  he  would  even  demand 
a  second.  They  gave  him  all  he  asked  for,  because 
he  had  a  great  deal  of  talent,  and  his  work  nearly 
always  obtained  a  great  success. 

But  let  us  return  to  Madame  Vespuce,  who, 
before  reading  her  romance,  thought  fit  to  formu- 
late a  short  preface,  and  said  in  a  very  earnest 
voice, — 

"  Mesdames,  I  claim  your  kindest  indulgence  in 
advance.  I  am  but  a  novice  in  this  career.  I  am 
not,  like  Madame  Etoile,  accustomed  to  writing; 
I  merely  followed  my  inspiration,  and  I  believe 


188  MADAME  PANTALON 

that  I  ought  to  tell  you  beforehand  that  my  novel 
is  all  heart,  all  feeling,  all  passion." 

"  We  shall  easily  see,  as  Alceste  said,"  answered 
Cesarine,  smiling.  "Calm  your  emotion,  dear  In- 
dependent, you  are  before  your  peers.  We  listen 
to  the  reading  of  your  novel,  not  to  judge  it  —  but 
because  you  desire  that  we  should  do  so." 

"  Yes,  I  do  wish  it ;  I  shall  welcome  your  ad- 
vice, your  opinions,  I  shall  be  happy  to  follow 
them." 

"Will  she  not  soon  have  done  her  foreword?" 
said  Madame  Grassouillet  in  a  low  tone  to  one  of 
her  neighbors. 

"  She  wishes  to  prepare  us  gently  for  what  is 
coming ;  it  seems  that  what  she  is  going  to  read 
to  us  will  move  us  greatly." 

"  We  must  be  on  our  guard,  then." 

"  Madame,  I  begin.  My  novel  will  have  for 
its  title,  'The  deceptions  of  a  too  sensitive  heart, 
or  the  fatal  effect  of  jealousy  when  this  feeling  is 
carried  to  the  last  extreme  ! ' 

"  Bravo !  a  splendid  title !  "  said  Madame 
Etoile. 

"  Why,  I  think  it  is  a  little  long,"  said  Madame 
Dutonneau. 

"  That  will  be  more  effective  on  the  cover  of  a 
book." 

"  There  would  not  be  room  for  it  on  the  cover 
of  a  book,  unless  it  was  printed  in  very  small 
characters." 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK      189 

During  this  discussion,  Madame  Vespuce  had 
melted  the  lump  of  sugar  in  her  glass  of  water. 

When  the  conversation  ended,  she  looked  around 
her  to  see  if  they  were  listening  and,  instead  of 
reading,  began  another  preamble. 

"  My  heroine  is  a  young  princess  who  had  been 
carefully  reared  by  an  old  peasant  who,  as  her  sole 
fortune,  possessed  but  one  cow,  who  had  never 
known  her  parents  —  " 

"  Excuse  me,  but  was  it  the  cow  or  the  princess 
who  had  never  known  her  parents  ? " 

"Ah,  Madame  Flambart,  can  you  put  such  a 
question  as  that  to  me?  It  is  quite  evident  that 
the  princess  is  in  question." 

"  Why,  no,  your  sentences  are  so  involved  ;  and 
I  like  to  be  sure  about  my  personages." 

"  My  heroine  is  called  Fleur-d' Acacia,  and  my 
hero  Coquelicot-Bleu." 

"  Very  pretty,  excessively  pretty  !  " 

"  Delightful  names  !  " 

"  Everybody  should  call  their  children  by  such 
names  as  those." 

"  Of  course  they  should ;  instead  of  Marie- 
Adele  or  Theodore,  which  are  exceedingly  com- 
mon names.  It  would  be  a  hundred  times  more 
agreeable  to  say,  'Come  and  kiss  me,  Fleur-d' Aca- 
cia.1 Have  you  thoroughly  learned  your  lesson, 
Coquelicot-Bleu  ? 2  Have  you  a  pain  in  your  stom- 
ach, Bouton  de  Rose?3'  and  so  forth  and  so  on." 

1  Acacia- Flower.  a  Blue  corn  poppy.  3  Rosebud. 


i9o  MADAME  PANTALON 

"There  are  so  many  plants  that  could  be  per- 
sonified." 

"  The  whole  calendar  would  have  to  be  revised." 

"  We  will  occupy  ourselves  with  that  later  on." 

"  Very  well ;  but,  when  we  are  about  the  calen- 
dar, we  must  not  forget  to  lengthen  the  months, 
that  is  very  important." 

"  Olympiade  is  right ;  months  of  thirty  days  are 
not  long  enough." 

"  No,  we  must  have  a  month  of  forty  days,  at 
least." 

"  Yes,  at  least ;  and  we  must  have  fifteen  of 
them  in  the  year." 

"  Fifteen  in  the  year;  that  is  not  enough — put 
it  at  eighteen.  You  see,  at  that  rate  one  would 
grow  old  much  less  quickly." 

"  Naturally,  a  woman  who  is  thirty  today  would 
then  be  only  twenty." 

"  That  is  quite  correct ;  this  reform  will  be  one 
of  the  first  to  be  registered  in  our  new  social  code." 

"  A  thousand  pardons,  dear  Madame  Vespuce, 
it  was  the  pretty  names  of  your  hero  and  heroine 
that  made  us  interrupt  you.  We  will  say  nothing 
more." 

"  We  will  try  not  to,  at  least." 

«  Go  on." 

"  For  my  villain  I  could  think  of  nothing  better 
than  Raoul  Barbarousse  de  Croquamort." 

"  Croquamort  is  more  than  pleasing,"  said  Ma- 
dame Etoile. 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK      191 

"  It's  a  difficult  name  to  pronounce;  I  am  afraid 
it  will  oftener  be  read  Croquemort." 

"  So  much  the  worse  for  those  who  do  not  know 
how  to  read.  We  must  not  bother  ourselves  about 
these  little  details.  Thus,  I  once  heard  some  one 
read  in  company  a  story  entitled  cle  merle  Blanc.' l 
The  heroine  brought  up  this  bird,  which  she  loved 
dearly,  she  addressed  him  in  the  tenderest  words, 
and  kept  saying  to  him,  '  Come  to  me,  pretty 
merle,  merle,  merle.'  Well,  the  reader's  pronun- 
ciation was  so  bad  that  when  she  said  c  merle,  merle, 
merle,'  it  sounded  quite  like  something  else  and 
produced  a  very  disagreeable  effect ;  but,  do  you 
think  that  the  author  should  change  the  expres- 
sions he  uses  in  writing  on  that  account  ?  Not  at 
all,  one  would  never  have  done  if  it  were  necessary 
to  consult  the  taste  of  each  one  and  fear  that  some- 
one may  mispronounce  the  names  of  one's  charac- 
ters." 

"  A  thousand  excuses  again,  Madame  Vespuce ! 
This  time  it  is  quite  understood  that  we  must  not 
interrupt  you  again." 

"  Then,  mesdames,  I  will  begin, — 

It  was  midnight,  and  everything  was  sleeping  in  the  virgin 
forest,  which  extended  from  the  Alps  as  far  as  Mont  Cenis  — ' ' 

"  Excuse  me  —  a  simple  observation  ;  I  don't 
think  that  the  Alps  extend  so  far  as  that —  " 
"  And  then  it  is  not  a  virgin  forest ;  for  a  long 

•  The  white  crow. 


192  MADAME  PANTALON 

time  past,  people  have  crossed  the  Alps.  Travellers 
are  often  met  there,  and  sometimes  bears." 

"  Good  heavens !  mesdames,  are  you  going  to 
cavil  about  such  a  little  thing  as  that  ?  How  do 
you  think  I  can  give  my  romance  color,  make  it 
poetical  ?  We  say  virgin  forest  because  that  sounds 
well  in  a  description.  As  for  that,  I  made  a  mis- 
take in  my  manuscript,  we  are  not  in  the  Alps, 
but  in  a  dense  forest  in  Hungary,  in  the  neighbor- 
hood of  Mongatz.  My  story  begins  in  the  time 
of  the  famous  Count  Tekeli,  who  fought  against 
the  troops  of  the  Emperor  of  Germany.  You 
know  that  now,  in  order  that  a  theatre  may  be 
successful,  it  must  have  music;  without  it,  indeed, 
there  is  no  hope  of  success  ;  while  with  an  orches- 
tra, singing,  noise  —  in  fact  music,  or  anything  that 
resembles  it,  you  may  commit  the  greatest  blunders 
in  your  staging  of  the  play,  and  put  the  stupidest 
speeches  into  the  mouths  of  your  actors.  Every- 
thing will  pass  muster,  if  you  only  have  an  accom- 
paniment. You  may  choose  the  very  strangest  of 
subjects,  mingle  princes  with  bakers' journeymen, 
personages  of  the  time  of  Louis  XIII  with  the 
cocottes  and  roystering  blades  of  today ;  have  a 
love  scene  between  the  Due  de  Richelieu  and 
Asphasia ;  put  Francois  I  at  the  feet  of  Sophie 
Arnould,  and  it  will  all  pass  if  all  these  people  are 
singing,  shouting,  trilling  and  quavering,  espe- 
cially, if  they  finish  their  final  chorus  by  dancing 
the  cancan." 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK      193 

"  Oh,  that  romantic,  extravagant  dance  which 
always  delights  and  rouses  the  public.  Can  you 
not  imagine,  mesdames,  with  what  impatience  the 
good  public,  the  literate  public,  awaited  that  dance 
of  which  it  never  fails  to  demand  a  repetition  ;  that 
dance  which  enraptures  them,  delights  them,  upsets 
them,  and  makes  them  shake  and  tremble  in  unison 
with  its  measure,  on  the  benches  of  the  orchestra 
and  pit  ?  On  the  first  day  —  people  are  awaiting 
it,  in  fact  —  the  public,  yielding  to  its  entrance- 
ment,  its  enthusiasm,  is  unable  to  contain  itself; 
the  people  jump  on  the  stage,  invade  the  boards, 
and,  mingling  with  the  actors,  finish  with  them  the 
bacchanalian  dance  which  terminates  the  act.  Ah, 
that  will  be  a  very  proud  day  for  dramatic  art,  and 
men  of  letters  expect  it  with  the  keenest  im- 
patience!" 

"  Have  you  done,  Madame  Etoile  ?  " 

"I  have  done  if  you  wish  it,  for  I  have  still  many 
things  to  say  on  the  changes  that  are  taking  place 
in  the  theatre,  and  I  am  planning  a  very  striking 
work  on  that  subject;  I  shall  entitle  it:  'The  in- 
fluence of  the  pipe,  beer  and  absinthe,  and  the 
cafes-concerts  on  the  spectators  at  spectacles,  and 
of  more  — ' ' 

"  Should  we  not  listen  to  Madame  Vespuce's 
novel,  first  of  all  ?  " 

Little  Madame  Vespuce  had  drunk  the  glass  of 
sweetened  water  while  Madame  Etoile  was  peror- 
ating, and  was  on  the  point  of  deciding  to  prepare 

Vol.  XXI 


194  MADAME  PANTALON 

a  second  one.     But  they  were  silent,  and  she  re- 
sumed her  manuscript. 

"  Everything  was  sleeping  in  the  virgin  forest  which  extended 
as  far  as  the  Alps  — 

"  No,  I  meant  to  say  Hungary.  I  was  thinking 
that  perhaps  I  had  better  put  my  thick  forest  in 
Bohemia." 

"Pray  continue;  the  country  matters  little  pro- 
vided the  forest  be  dense  enough." 

"  Listen  to  this  description, — 

There  were  venerable  trees,  the  branches  of  which,  closely 
interlaced,  formed  a  dome  that  was  impenetrable  by  the  rays  of 
the  sun.  These  vigorous  trees  were  sometimes  so  close  one  to 
the  other  that  it  was  impossible  to  take  two  steps  without  bump- 
ing the  nose  or  some  other  part  of  the  person.  The  earth  was 
covered  with  moss  and  ground-ivy,  and  with  dead  leaves,  which 
formed  a  natural  carpet.  When  the  wind  blew  hard  under  these 
old  half-dead  trees  — " 

"  Pardon,  my  dear  lady,  but  you  said  just  now 
that  these  trees  were  vigorous,  so  they  could  not 
have  been  half  dead." 

"It  occurs  to  me,  madame,  that  in  a  dense  for- 
est there  might  very  well  be  both  vigorous  and 
half-dead  trees." 

"  Madame  Vespuce  is  perfectly  right.  As  for 
that,  it  is  the  same  with  people  as  it  is  in  the  for- 
est: the  latter  contain  healthy  trees,  decaying  trees 
and  dead  ones  —  and  so  it  is  in  society." 

"  Allow  me  to  say,  Madame  Pantalon,  that  in 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK       195 

society  we  do  assuredly  sometimes  meet  people 
who  are  not  well,  who  in  fact  are  far  from  it,  but  I 
don't  think  I  have  ever  played  whist  or  boston  with 
one  who  no  longer  existed." 

"  As  for  me,"  said  Madame  Dutonneau  laugh- 
ing, "  I  have  often  played  whist  with  a  dummy." 

"Why,  that's  a  pun1  —  Madame  Dutonneau  has 
made  a  play  on  words." 

"  Ha,  ha,  ha !  a  very  good  pun  too." 

"  I  also  have  often  played  whist  with  a  dummy, 
and  it  is  infinitely  more  amusing  than  to  play  it 
with  four  people." 

"  Do  you  think  so  ? " 

"  Oh,  there  is  no  comparison." 

"  I,"  said  Madame  Flambart,  "  once  played 
whist  with  a  Scotchman,  who  was  said  to  be  a  very 
fine  player." 

"  Was  he  a  Scotch  mountaineer  ? " 

"Yes,  for  he  was  a  Highlander,  which  means  an 
inhabitant  of  the  mountains  —  " 

"  Did  he  wear  the  national  costume  of  his 
country  ? " 

"  My  faith,  I  did  not  notice  !  " 

"  However  the  Scotch  national  costume  is  so 
striking  as  to  be  noticed  immediately." 

"Yes,  yes,  he  did  wear  it,  as  I  now  remember, 
it  quite  shocked  me  when  I  first  saw  him  before 
we  sat  down  to  play.  But  this  Highlander  had  a 
singular  manner  of  playing  whist,  he  cut  in  one 

1  The  word  mort,  dead,  is  also  used  for  our  word  dummy. 


196  MADAME  PANTALON 

color,  and  a  few  minutes  afterward  we  perceived 
that  he  had  cards  of  the  color  he  had  cut." 

"  Ah,  then  he  was  not  a  Scotchman,  he  was  noth- 
ing but  a  card  sharper  —  a  blackleg." 

"  All  I  know  is,  that  they  put  him  out  of  the  draw- 
ing-room, into  which  he  had  introduced  himself." 

"  It  seems  to  me,  ladies,  to  be  high  time  that  we 
should  return  to  the  dense  forest  which  Madame 
Vespuce  has  so  admirably  described." 

"Oh,  yes,  please,  Madame  Vespuce,  do  continue 
the  reading  of  your  delightful  romance ;  it  has 
given  us  so  much  pleasure." 

"  It  has  given  them  so  much  pleasure,"  said 
Cesarine,  in  a  low  tone,  leaning  towards  her  neigh- 
bor ;  "  and  they  have  not  listened  to  it.  Fortu- 
nately poor  little  Vespuce  is  possessed  of  much 
patience.  In  her  place  I  should  long  ago  have 
thrust  my  manuscript  into  my  pocket." 

Madame  Vespuce  resumed, — 

"  Where  the  wind  blows  hard  under  the  old  trees  of  the 
forest  it  snaps  off  branches,  overturns  and  uproots  the  tallest 
poplars.  It  was  such  a  moment  as  this  that  the  gloomy  and 
stern  Raoul  Barbarousse  de  Croquamort  chose  for  his  walk. 
This  caitiff  nobleman  was  of  gigantic  height  —  six  feet  and  sev- 
eral inches,  and  he  was  frightfully  thin.  His  hollow,  livid 
cheeks,  his  bald  and  glistening  forehead,  his  teeth,  long  and 
sharp  as  those  of  a  wild  boar,  gave  him  a  repulsive  appearance. 
His  long,  thin  nose  resembled  the  point  of  a  lance ;  his  peaked 
chin  threatened  his  nose  ;  his  mouth  was  a  gulf  which,  when  he 
opened  it,  extended  to  his  ears  ;  finally,  his  sea-green  eyes  added 
the  finishing  touch  to  his  frightful  countenance. 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK       197 

Croquamort,  after  taking  several  steps  in  the  forest,  suddenly 
stopped,  muttering  in  a  dull  voice  ;  '  The  confusion  of  nature 
tallies  well  with  that  in  my  breast.'  Then,  striking  his  fore- 
head as  though  some  sudden  idea  had  cleared  his  memory,  he 
resumed  his  walk,  thrusting  aside  with  his  long  sword  the  obsta- 
cles in  his  pathway,  and  at  length  reached  the  entrance  to  a 
grotto,  into  which  he  immediately  penetrated. 

It  was  an  immense  grotto,  formed  by  rocks,  or  which,  rather, 
was  the  result  of  some  trembling  of  the  earth,  of  some  cataclysm 
which  in  overturning  this  part  of  the  globe  had  put  beneath  those 
things  which  had  formerly  been  above.  Thus,  in  the  interstices 
of  the  rocks  which  formed  the  ceilings  of  these  gloomy  caverns, 
flowers  were  peeping  forth,  now  of  a  beautiful  green,  now  puny 
and  stunted.  Who  would  have  thought  that  in  the  anfractures 
of  the  rocks,  in  nooks  where  the  sun  had  never  penetrated,  one 
would  find  rhododendrons,  heath,  mimosas,  crocuses,  jasmine, 
Chinese  primroses,  and  laurel-thyme  ? ' ' 

"  Good  heavens !  Madame  Vespuce,  you  must 
have  taken  a  course  in  botany." 

"  No,  madame,  I  read  that  somewhere  in  an  old 
book,  and  I  said  to  myself,  l  It  seems  to  me  that 
will  do  very  well  for  my  grotto,'  and  I  made  use  of 
it.  Is  that  kind  of  work  not  allowable,  madame  ? " 

"  Pardon  me,  my  dear  madame,  not  only  is  it  per- 
missible to  quote  from  an  old  book,  but  there  are 
some  writers  who  boldly  dare  to  pilfer  from  the 
works  of  their  living  contemporaries,  and  without 
deigning  to  say  from  what  source  they  have  taken 
the  material  they  use.  Will  you  not  resume  your 
reading,  which  we  will  be  careful  not  to  interrupt?" 

"  In  this  grotto  one  walked  on  ferns  and  an  infinitude  of  other 
plants,  which  I  cannot  enumerate  to  you  by  name  at  this  moment. 


i98  MADAME  PANTALON 

Raoul  Barbarousse  de  Croquamort,  after  looking  about  him 
for  some  time,  directed  his  steps  towards  an  opening  which 
he  perceived  at  the  end  of  the  grotto  and  which  served  as  the 
entrance  to  another  cavern,  much  larger  and  more  extensive  than 
the  first,  but  dark,  cold  and  gloomy.  This  second  grotto,  far 
from  being  carpeted  with  verdure,  was  the  haunt  of  owls  and 
bats  and  of  monstrous  spiders. ' ' 

"  Good  heavens !  is  she  never  going  to  come 
out  of  her  grottoes  ?  "  said  Amandine,  in  a  low 
voice,  "  I  am  beginning  to  experience  an  uneasi- 
ness in  my  legs." 

"  I  can't  refrain  from  yawning  ;  but,  really,  this 
lady  abuses  our  patience  with  her  grottoes." 

"  Hush !  why  don't  you,  down  there  ?  "  said 
Cesarine, "  what  is  the  matter  with  you,  mesdames, 
that  you  must  whisper  like  that  ? " 

"  Madame  was  telling  me  that  she  had  seen  a 
grotto  at  Ermenonville,  near  Jean-Jacques  Rous- 
seau's Hermitage,  but  that  it  was  not  at  all  like 
those  in  Madame  Vespuce's  romance." 

"  Oh,  have  you  been  to  Ermenonville,  ma- 
dame  ?  Is  it  not  a  delightful  place  ?  Jean-Jacques 
chose  his  retreat  well." 

"  He  did,  indeed  ;  but  what  astonished  me  was 
that  he  should  have  had  the  idea  of  taking  his 
life." 

"  What  are  you  talking  about  ?  Why,  Jean- 
Jacques  Rousseau  did  not  kill  himself;  he  died  of 
apoplexy." 

"  Undeceive  yourself,  madame  ;  the  great  phil- 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK       199 

osopher  was  not,  it  would  seem,  sufficiently  philo- 
sophical to  be  able  to  support  a  misfortune  which 
so  many  husbands  accept  without  a  murmur. 
Jean-Jacques  Rousseau,  having  acquired  proof 
that  Therese,  the  woman  he  had  raised  to  his 
level,  had  been  faithless  to  him  with  one,  I  dare 
not  say  whom  ;  in  fact,  the  man  of  nature  who 
ought,  more  than  any  one  else,  to  have  closed  his 
eyes  to  the  frailties  of  humanity,  could  not  sup- 
port the  thought  of  being  —  what  you  know  well. 
His  brain  became  crazed  in  that  little  cottage  in 
which  he  dwelt,  and  which  may  still  be  seen  not 
far  from  the  He  des  Peupliers,  where  his  tomb  now 
is.  This,  at  least,  is  what  I  was  told  by  one  who 
asserted  that  he  was  quite  certain  of  what  he 
advanced." 

"  No,  madame,  I  cannot  accept  that  version ; 
I  do  not  wish  to  believe  that  the  man  who  has 
written  such  admirable  things  finished  his  career 
so  badly.  Incessantly  surrounded  by  enemies,  he 
imagined  that  they  wanted  to  kill  him,  so  he  fled 
from  the  world  and  withdrew  from  all  observation. 
But,  for  all  that,  jealousy  of  his  wife  was  far  from 
his  thought,  and  to  commit  suicide  because  'his 
better  half!  —  you  are  mistaken.  Would  Jean- 
Jacques  have  forgotten,  do  you  suppose,  that 
Lucullus,  Caesar,  Pompey,  Antony,  Cato,  and  many 
other  great  men  were  perfectly  aware  of  their  be- 
trayal without  making  any  noise  about  it?  There 
was  but  one  fool,  Lepidus,  who  died  of  despair. 


200  MADAME  PANTALON 

Frankly  speaking,  Jean-Jacques  could  not  have 
wished  to  resemble  Lepidus." 

All  the  Independents  applauded,  shouting, — 

"  Hurrah  for  Madame  Pantalon  !  " 

Madame  Vespuce  profited  by  this  interruption 
to  attack  her  second  glass  of  sugared  water. 

"  Pardon,  my  dear  lady,"  resumed  Cesarine, 
"  the  remembrance  of  Jean- Jacques  made  us  forget 
you  for  a  moment,  but  you  will  forgive  us  ;  there 
are  so  few  great  men  now  that  it  is  necessary  to 
fall  back  on  those  who  are  no  more." 

"  I  was,  I  think,  in  the  second  grotto." 

"  No,  no,  you  had  done  with  that." 

"  Then  I  was  where  my  charming  shepherd, 
Coquelicot-Bleu,  in  his  turn,  reached  the  forest." 

"  He  was  a  shepherd,  then  ?  " 

"  Yes,  yes,  a  shepherd  after  the  genius  of  Apollo 
when  he  led  the  flocks  of  Admetus,  King  of  Thes- 
saly,  to  pasture." 

"  On  Mount  Hymettus." 

"  No,  on  Mount  Ida." 

"  I  beg  your  pardon,  it  was  on  Mount  Hymet- 
tus." 

"  You  are  mistaken,  madame ;  Mount  Hymettus 
is  a  mountain  in  Attica,  which  is  celebrated  for  the 
quantity  and  excellence  of  the  honey  which  is 
gathered  there." 

"  Madame,  no  one  ever  guarded  flocks  on  Mount 
Ida." 

"  Good  Lord,  mesdames,  what  does  it  matter  to 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK       201 

us  whetherit  be  on  Mount  Hymettus  or  on  Mount 
Ida  that  Apollo  kept  sheep  ?  If  it  were  to  Mont- 
martre  that  this  seductive  god  led  Admetus'  flocks, 
would  that  help  your  romance  along  ? " 

"  Not  in  the  slightest !  " 

"  Well  then,  don't  let  us  occupy  ourselves  any 
longer  with  Apollo." 

"  Tell  us  about  Coquelicot-Bleu  ?  " 

"  He  was  a  fine  young  man  of  twenty-five  and  wore  a  kind 
of  short  breeches  made  of  buffalo  skin,  which  left  his  legs  un- 
covered— " 

"  Like  bathing  tights." 
"  Exactly  — 

His  body  was  enveloped  in  a  sheep  or  lamb's  skin,  under 
which  he  hid  his  cross  and  the  foreign  orders  with  which  he  was 
decorated." 

"  What !  your  shepherd  was  decorated  ? " 
"  He  was  only  disguised  as  a  shepherd  — 

His  mantle,  which  he  wore  simply  attached  to  his  left  shoulder, 
was  the  skin  of  a  tiger  he  had  vanquished." 

"  He  was  covered  with  skins,  then,  this  shep- 
herd?" 

"  Probably  he  had  gloves  also  —  of  rabbit  skin." 
"  No,  he  had  no  gloves,  but  he  had  a  fine  po- 
niard with  a  Toledo  blade  — 

Coquelicot  had  a  pretty  figure,  was  well-made,  his  face  was 
noble  and  attractive,  his  mouth  disclosed  forty  teeth,  perfectly 
even,  and  so  white  that  they  looked  like  china." 

"  Forty  teeth  !  but  people  don't  usually  have  so 
many  ;  I  thought  thirty-two  was  the  maximum  !  " 


202  MADAME  PANTALON 

"  Madame,  in  a  story  a  person  may  give  her  hero 
a  few  more  teeth  than  ordinary  people  possess." 
"  Oh,  certainly,  it  was  simply  a  remark  I  made." 

"  Coquelicot  had  hair  as  black  as  ebony  and  he  wore  a  queue, 
that  he  might  bring  them  back  into  fashion.  This  charming 
young  man  had  a  noble  forehead  and  a  nose  slightly  turned  up  at 
the  end." 

"  Oh,  madame,  what  a  pity  !  Do,  please,  change 
that." 

"Change  what?" 

"  Don't  give  your  lover  a  turned-up  nose.  That 
is  impossible.  In  the  first  place,  a  man  with  a 
turned-up  nose  never  inspires  love,  passion,  senti- 
ment. The  turned-up  nose  has  something  comical 
about  it.  Something  that  invites  jeers  and  badin- 
age and  laughter ;  but  it  does  not  make  you  sigh. 
The  men  with  Greek  noses,  straight  noses,  are  the 
passionate  men  ;  aquiline  noses  are  capable  of  love 
also,  but  with  them  it  is  mingled  with  reflection, 
meditation,  they  are  crafty,  and  one  should  rarely 
trust  what  they  say." 

"It  seems  to  me,  madame,  that  you  have  stud- 
ied the  nose  profoundly." 

"  As  a  matter  of  fact,  madame,  when  I  first  cast 
my  eyes  on  a  snub-nosed  man,  or  one  who  has  his 
nose  turned  up  at  the  end,  I  cannot  help  recalling 
the  explanation  which  Rabelais  gave  on  this  part 
of  the  face." 

"  Have  you  read  Rabelais,  madame  ?  I  thought 
ladies  could  not  read  that  author." 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK      203 

"  An  error,  madam  e,  a  great  error." 

"  And  what  did  Rabelais  say  on  the  subject  of 

turned-up  noses  ?  " 

"  He  said,  madame,  that  the  person  whose  nose 

was  of  this  description  had  nursed  from  a  fount 

that  was  hard  and  firm,  and  that  those  with  straight, 

long  noses  had  drawn  their  nourishment  from  a 

soft  and  tender  breast." 

"  That  is  a  definition  quite  worthy  of  Rabelais." 
"  Well,  since  Coquelicot-Bleu's  nose  displeases 

you  so  much,  I  will  give  him  an  aquiline  nose." 
"  Your  novel   will  gain  a    hundred  per  cent 

thereby." 

"  The  handsome  Coquelicot-Bleu  took  his  way  towards  the 
grotto  ;  but,  before  entering,  he  stopped  for  a  long  time  to  look 
about  him,  for  he  hoped  to  find  her  for  whom  he  would  give  his 
life,  the  young  and  candid  Fleur-d' Acacia  ;  but  she  was  not 
there,  and  the  savage  Croquamort,  hid  in  the  second  grotto, 
could  watch  and  spy  on  everything  that  his  rival  did,  with  the 
utmost  ease. — 

"  I  don't  think  I  have  told  you  that  this  caitiff 
lord  was  also  in  love  with  Fleur-d' Acacia,  and  that, 
consequently,  he  was  Coquelicot-Bleu's  rival,  and 
had  sworn  mortal  hatred  to  the  latter,  but  I  pre- 
sume you  have  guessed  it. — 

Presently,  they  heard  the  sweet  and  harmonious  sounds  of  a 
tambourine  ;  it  was  Fleur-d 'Acacia  who  came,  singing  and 
dancing.  She  had  barely  entered  the  grotto  when  Coquelicot- 
Bleu  was  at  her  feet,  gazing  lovingly  at  her.  The  young  girl 
was  well  worth  contemplating ;  she  was  thin,  slim,  light,  her 
waist  could  have  been  confined  in  the  bounds  of  a  curtain  ring. 


204  MADAME  PANTALON 

Her  eyes  were  blue,  her  hair  like  silk ;  she  had  such  a  tiny, 
tiny  mouth,  that  it  was  as  much  as  she  could  do  to  put  her  fin- 
ger in  it." 

"  Then  how  did  she  manage  about  her  fork  ?  " 
"Your  question  is  too  realistic,     Should  the 
heroine  of  a  romance  be  submitted  to  such  de- 
tails ?    Has  she  any  need  of  a  fork  ?  does  she  live 
like  everybody  else  ?  does  she  think  of  eating  ? 

Coquelicot-Bleu  was  at  the  feet  of  the  beautiful  young  girl 
declaring  to  her  that  he  loved  her,  and  swearing  that  he  should 
never  change.  Fleur-d' Acacia  was  greatly  moved  ;  but  Cro- 
quamort,  who  had  seen  all  this  from  the  place  where  he  was 
hidden,  immediately  took  from  his  belt  a  revolver  with  eight 
chambers,  four  of  which  he  discharged  at  Coquelicot-Bleu,  who, 
at  the  first  shot,  rolled  into  the  dust." 

"  Oh,  what  a  pity  !  Coquelicot-Bleu  is  killed." 

"  How  badly  it  ends." 

"  Why,  wait,  ladies,  wait !  it  is  not  ended  yet. 

Fleur-d' Acacia  fell  fainting  on  her  lover's  body  ;  Croquamort 
ran  and  took  her  up,  carried  her  in  his  arms,  left  the  grotto, 
regained  his  horse,  and  started  off  at  a  swift  gallop. 

Croquamort  reached  his  chateau.  He  ordered  his  people  to 
prepare  a  feast,  and  gave  Fleur-d'Acacia  into  the  care  of  an  old 
cook.  The  old  woman  sprinkled  the  young  girl  with  lavender 
water.  Fleur-d'Acacia  came  to  herself  and  cried,  '  Give  me 
death  !  '  To  which  the  old  woman  responded,  '  No,  I  will 
give  you  an  omelette  and  bacon,  and  that  is  all  I  can  do  towards 
the  feast  that  monseigneur  has  ordered  me  to  prepare ;  but  as 
soon  as  it's  light,  I  will  put  on  the  pot-au-feu.'  It  is  needless 
to  teH  you  that  Fleur-d'Acacia  wished  for  nothing.  The  next 
day  Croquamort  came  to  her  and  said, — 

'I  will  give  you  three  days  to  consent  to  marry  me,'  and 
rhe  young  girl  answered  him, — 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK 


205 


'  If  you  should  give  me  three  years,  it  would  be  exactly  the 
same  thing  —  I  should  refuse  you. ' 

'  That  will  make  no  difference  to  me ;  but  I  will  give  you 
three  days.' 

At  the  end  of  the  three  days,  Croquamort,  who  had  put  on  a 
costume  that  was  glittering  with  false  jewels,  came  to  Fleur- 
d'Acacia  and  said  to  her, — 

'  Will  you  follow  me  to  the  chapel  ? ' 

«  What  for? ' 

*  To  become  my  wife.' 

«  But  if  I  don't  wish  to  ? ' 

«  Come,  all  the  same ;  you  may  change  your  mind  on  the 
road ;  that  is  often  seen.  More  than  one  young  girl  who  had 
consented  to  marry  has  said  no,  instead  of  yes,  when  she  was 
before  the  mayor.  Why  should  not  you  do  the  contrary  ?  One 
can  never  be  sure  of  anything  with  women.' 

They  started  towards  the  chapel,  but,  just  as  they  were  going 
in,  a  masked  man  hurled  himself  in  front  of  Croquamort,  and 
trod  on  his  toes. 

'  I  have  trod  on  your  toes ! '  cried  he,  «  and  if  you  are  not  a 
coward,  you  will  demand  satisfaction  of  me  and  we  will  fight  to 
the  death  ! ' 

Croquamort  answered, — 

*  I  am  not  a  coward,  but  I  never  fight  except  with  people 
who  have  no  desire  to  do  so.     You  do  desire  to  fight,  therefore 
I  will  not  fight  with  you !   but  I  will  have  you  thrown  to  the 
bottom  of  one  of  my  dungeons.      First,  however,  I  must  know 
who  you  are.' 

He  snatched  off  the  mask  which  covered  the  face  of  the  un- 
known, and  recognized  Coquelicot-Bleu." 

"  But  he  had  been  killed  in  the  grotto." 
"  Probably  he  had  not  been  killed. — 

Fleur-d' Acacia  uttered  a  cry  of  joy,  Croquamort  one  of  fury 
and  Coquelicot-Bleu  one  of  gladness.      The  latter  took  Fleur 


206  MADAME  PANTALON 

d' Acacia  in  his  arms  and  disappeared  with  her  down  a  long  gal- 
lery, with  a  door  at  the  end  ;  he  opened  the  door  and  saw  before 
him  a  long,  narrow,  straight  corridor,  into  which  he  plunged 
without  reflection.  The  corridor  led  to  a  staircase  ;  he  went 
down,  counting  the  steps  as  he  did  so,  and  found  there  were 
seventy-two. ' ' 

"  And  he  still  held  his  mistress  in  his  arms  ? " 
"  Naturally." 

"  He  must  have  been  strong,  but,  all  the  same, 
it  must  have  been  difficult  for  him." 

"  At  the  foot  of  the  staircase  he  found  himself  in  front  of 
another  door  ;  he  opened  it  —  " 

"  The  key  was  in  the  door  then  ?  " 
"  Good  heavens,  madame  !    as  if  any  one  can 
notice  such  details  as  those  ! 

He  opened  the  door,  and  perceived  another  staircase;  he 
must  go  up  this  time;  he  went  up." 

"  Poor  fellow  !  an  Auvergnat  would  not  want  to 
do  that." 

"  He  went  up  eighty  stairs,  then  the  fresh  air  struck  his  face 
and  he  found  himself  on  the  banks  of  a  river.  A  boat  with  oars  was 
there,  our  friends  jumped  into  it,  and  rowed  to  a  lonely  place  — 
they  landed  and  Coquelicot-Bleu,  drunk  with  love,  was  about  to 
throw  himself  again  at  his  mistress'  feet  when  Croquamort,  com- 
ing suddenly  from  behind  a  gooseberry  bush,  drew  his  long 
sword  and  passed  it  through  his  rival's  body." 

"  Good  heavens  !    Coquelicot-Bleu  is  certainly 
dead  this  time.     What  a  pity  !  " 
"Wait  a  bit  — 

Raoul  Barbarousse  de  Croquamort  again  took  Fleur-d'Acacia 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK      207 

off  with  him ;  but  this  time,  instead  of  taking  her  to  the  chapel  of 
his  chateau,  he  took  her  to  Italy,  to  the  top  of  Mount  Vesuvius, 
where  he  wished  to  marry  her." 

"  What  an  idea  —  on  Mount  Vesuvius !  but  can 
any  one  be  married  on  Mount  Vesuvius?" 

"  People  can  do  anything  they  wish  there  ;  one 
of  our  most  witty  and  inimitable  romancers  is  said 
to  have  dined  there  on  the  grass  while  the  fiery 
lava  rolled  at  a  few  steps  from  him. 

Croquamort  then,  arrived  at  the  foot  of  Mount  Vesuvius  with 
Fleur-d' Acacia,  and  by  a  refinement  of  cruelty  he  wished  that 
the  young  girl  should  be  dressed  in  the  wedding  finery  of  a  young 
bride.  The  pair  climbed  the  mountain  ;  but,  when  they  were 
nearing  the  crater,  they  saw  before  them  a  pilgrim,  with  a  beard 
so  thick  that  it  quite  hid  his  face.  He  stopped  in  front  of  Cro- 
quamort again  and  trod  on  his  toes. 

'  You  will  fight  this  time,  won't  you  ? '  he  remarked,  then 
pulled  off  his  beard,  and  they  recognized  Coquelicot." 

"He  was  not  killed  then  ? " 
"  Not  a  bit  of  it ! 

When  he  saw  him  the  traitorous  Croquamort  shuddered,  he 
fumbled  at  his  belt  in  search  of  a  weapon,  but  Coquelicot  did 
not  leave  him  time,  he  seized  him,  lifted  him,  and  precipitated 
him  into  the  smoking  mouth  of  the  volcano." 

Madame  Vespuce  had  at  last  finished  reading  her 
romance,  which  all  the  ladies  praised  and  applauded, 
though  they  said  in  low  tones  to  each  other, — 
"  How  delightful  to  think  it  is  finished  !  " 
"  Oh,  but  there  is  more  to  follow,"  said  Zenobie, 
"  that  is  only  the  first  part." 


208  MADAME  PANTALON 

"  More  to  follow,"  said  Cesarine, "  why,  it  seems 
to  me  that  is  a  difficult  matter,  Your  romance  is 
quite  finished,  since  you  have  cast  your  villain  into 
the  crater  of  Vesuvius." 

"  On  the  contrary,  that  is  what  gives  me  a  chance 
to  begin  again.  In  an  eruption,  the  volcano  may 
eject  Croquamort  on  to  the  earth  ;  then,  he  will 
again  attack  the  two  lovers." 

"  Ah,  I  did  not  think  of  that ;  in  fact,  it  is  very 
ingenious." 


CHAPTER   IX 

A  CHALLENGE.     AN  INVALID.     A  MILITARY 
PROMENADE 

AFTER  the  lengthy  reading  of  Madame  Ves- 
puce's  thrilling  romance,  Madame  Boulard  gave 
utterance  to  her  article  on  the  progress  that  had 
been  made  in  ladies'  hairdressing;  she  set  forth  all 
the  advantages  of  the  chignon,  and  above  all  of  the 
false  chignon,  which  could  be  worn  as  large  as  one 
wished,  and  which  might,  in  more  than  one  circum- 
stance, provide  for  the  safety  of  those  who  wore  it. 
The  author  had  seen  in  the  street  a  lady  struck  on 
the  head  by  a  falling  chimney  and  who  had  not  been 
hurt,  thanks  to  her  chignon,  which  had  completely 
protected  her. 

Madame  Grassouillet  had  written  a  fashion  ar- 
ticle in  which  she  said  that  the  small  bonnets  worn 
by  the  ladies  were  still  too  large.  She  asserted  that 
woman  would  not  be  modishly  dressed  until  she 
could  thrust  her  bonnet  into  her  corset,  with 
another  to  change ;  in  this  way  the  bonnets  would 
have  a  double  use;  when  one  wished  to  remain 
with  the  head  bare,  they  could  be  left  in  that  con- 
venient receptacle,  the  corset. 

Later  on  they  heard  articles  on  music,  on  paint- 

Vol.  XXI       309 


210  MADAME  PANTALON 

ing,  on  song.  The  Widow  Flambart  treated  of 
fishing  and  fish ;  she  announced  that  she  should 
pass  them  all  in  review  from  the  gudgeon  to  the 
whale.  But  Cesarine  stopped  her  at  the  lobster, 
saying,— 

"  That  is  very  good,  but  we  have  not  time  now 
to  occupy  ourselves  with  the  rest." 

"I  intend  to  write  a  book,"  cried  a  young  wom- 
an, "  I  don't  know  yet  upon  what  subject,  nor 
what  title  I  shall  give  it,  nor  whether  it  will  be  gay 
or  sad,  historical  or  purely  fanciful ;  but  it  is  all  the 
same ;  only,  I  want  it  talked  about  and  announced 
beforehand,  in  order  that  no  one  may  steal  my 
plot." 

"  We  will  announce  it  when  you  know  what  you 
are  going  to  write.  Madame  fetoile,  everybody 
has  given  her  work,  except  this  lady  who  does  not 
know  yet  what  she  is  going  to  do.  It  is  your  turn 
now,  and  we  are  impatient  to  hear  you." 

Paolina  drew  a  manuscript  from  her  travelling 
bag,  spread  it  out,  placed  herself  and  said,  before 
beginning  to  read, — 

"  I  had  our  journal  in  mind,  mesdames,  and,  con- 
sequently, I  have  written  for  our  journal.  I  could 
have  treated,  like  you,  of  a  great  many  other  sub- 
jects—  it  would  even  have  been  very  agreeable  to 
me  to  embrace  them ;  but  that  would  have  been 
diverging  from  the  aim  of  our  association,  and  I 
therefore  sacrificed  my  taste  to  my  duty  ! " 

"  What  a  prologue  !  " 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK       211 

"  What  a  preface  !  " 

"  Is  she  never  going  to  finish?  "  said  several  of 
tlie  ladies,  among  themselves. 

At  length  the  tenth  muse  took  her  manuscript 
and  read, — 

* '  For  a  long  time  past,  the  need  of  a  journal  — 

"  No,  I  have  made  a  mistake,  forgive  me,  it  was 
stupid  of  me  to  say  that —  I  will  begin  again, — 

For  a  long  time  past,  the  need  of  a  lemon  journal  has  been  felt 
in  the  literary  world ;  rejoice,  amiable  readers  of  the  feminine 
gender,  to  whom  we  offer  this  new  publication,  that  this  deficiency 
is  about  to  be  repaired.  The  lemon  journal  you  so  greatly  de- 
sired—  this  lemon! —  being  here,  have  it  always  in  your  hands, 
on  your  settee,  and  on  your  bedside  table ;  carry  it  to  the  play, 
even,  you  need  not  be  ashamed  of  it.  So  that  everywhere,  in 
all  places  people  may  see  the  lemon  journal,  that  its  brilliant 
color  may  strike  the  eye,  that  people  may  say  to  each  other, 
'Are  you  a  subscriber  to  the  lemon  journal?  if  you  are  not  —  to 
the  lemon  —  to  the  "  Ear-Piercer,"  '  say  I ;  *  why  that  is  the 
lemon  journal  —  which  —  which — '  5 

Madame  Etoile  paused,  shouts  of  laughter  in- 
terrupted her  reading ;  it  was  Madame  Grassouillet 
who  had  given  the  signal  for  this  fit  of  gayety. 

The  tenth  muse  put  down  her  manuscript  and 
glared  at  the  pretty  Amandine  in  a  way  that  was 
anything  but  sweet,  and  said, — 

"  Will  you  kindly  inform  me,  madame,  what  has 
provoked  this  gayety,  which  is,  to  say  the  least, 
ill-timed?" 

"  Good  heavens  !  madame,  it  was  you  and  your 


212  MADAME  PANTALON 

lemons !  To  speak  frankly,  they  cropped  out  so 
often  in  your  article  that  they  set  my  teeth  on  edge, 
and  I  should  have  had  a  nervous  attack  had  I  not 
preferred  to  laugh." 

"  Indeed,  madame,  I  can  easily  understand  that 
your  teeth  would  be  set  on  edge  on  hearing  sensi- 
ble matters  read,  serious  matters,  which  are  allied 
to  common  sense,  in  fact ;  I  did  not  laugh  at  your 
article  on  little  bonnets  that  you  want  to  thrust 
into  your  corsets — but  it  excited  my  compassion 
for  you." 

"  I  am  deeply  distressed,  madame,  that  my  ar- 
ticle should  have  awakened  your  compassion ;  how- 
ever, it  ought  to  please  you,  more  than  anyone  I 
know  of,  to  have  something  that  you  could  put 
in  your  corset." 

"  Madame,  you  are  an  impertinent — " 

"It  was  you,  madame,  who  insulted  me  by  say- 
ing that  I  understood  nothing  that  was  common 
sense." 

"  Yes,  madame,  and  I  repeat  it ;  you  are  good 
for  nothing  but  to  talk  about  finery." 

"  That  is  much  better  than  to  weary  everybody 
with  pretentious  phrases,  with  bathos,  in  fact." 

"  Bathos  —  bathos  !  that  is  too  much  !  you  shall 
give  me  satisfaction  for  this  insult." 

"You  weary  me  —  you  are  so  dreadfully  dull." 

"  Mesdames,  pray  collect  yourselves." 

"  No,  no,  this  cannot  be  passed  over  thus ;  I 
demand  reparation." 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK      213 

"  The  fact  is,  you  are  greatly  in  need  of  repairs." 

"  Hold  your  tongue,  you  prudish  humbug." 

"You  are  not  a  prude,  but  you  are  a  magpie, 
which  is  much  worse." 

"What  a  horrid  woman!  You  shall  give  me 
satisfaction  for  that." 

Madame  Pantalon  rose  and  went  to  place  her- 
self between  the  two  antagonists,  who  were  begin- 
ning to  look  at  each  other  too  closely,  and  said  to 
them,  in  a  severe  tone, — 

"  No  abuse,  mesdames,  that  is  no  way  for  peo- 
ple of  good  birth,  courageous  women,  to  decide  a 
quarrel.  Since  we  are  by  way  of  showing  that  we 
are  as  good  as  men,  why  should  we  not  fight  duels 
like  them  ?  Paolina,  Amandine,  each  of  you  choose 
your  seconds,  and  they  will  settle  between  them 
the  conditions  of  the  combat  and  the  choice  of 
weapons,  and  tomorrow  morning  at  eight  o'clock 
you  will  meet  in  the  little  wood  which  adjoins  the 
garden.  I  have  spoken !  The  meeting  is  ad- 
journed." 

Cesarine's  words  had  quite  calmed  the  anger  of 
the  heroines.  However,  Madame  Grassouillet 
signed  to  Mesdames  Vespuce  and  Boulard  to  fol- 
low her  ;  while  Madame  £toile  led  off  the  Widow 
Flambart  and  Madame  Dutonneau. 

"  Do  you  really  want  to  fight  ? "  said  the  frail 
Zenobie  to  Amandine,  while  Madame  Boulard  felt 
her  chignon  to  see  that  it  was  in  place. 

"  Why,  I'm  not  absolutely  set  on  it,"  answered 


214  MADAME  PANTALON 

the  pretty  woman.  "  For  the  matter  of  that,  if 
they  oblige  me  to  do  so,  I  declare  to  you  I  shall 
fight  with  pistols  only,  I  shall  fire  at  five  paces,  and 
I  shall  fire  first." 

"  But  suppose  that  your  adversary  chooses  the 
sword  ? " 

"  It  is  all  the  same  to  me  ;  let  her  take  the  sword 
if  she  likes  it  better ;  as  for  me,  I  have  told  you  my 
conditions  and  I  shall  not  change  them;  I  shall 
have  a  pistol —  no,  a  revolver  with  six  shots —  I 
shall  fire  my  shots  one  after  the  other,  and  then  it 
will  be  her  turn." 

While  one  side  was  thus  discussing,  on  the  other, 
Madame  Flambart  said  to  Paolina, — 

"  What  weapon  shall  you  fight  with  ?  " 

"  The  sword  and  no  other,  it  is  the  gentleman's 
weapon.  If  they  still  used  the  lance  I  should  have 
preferred  that." 

"  But  suppose  your  adversary  wishes  to  fight; 
with  the  pistol  ? " 

"  She  has  not  the  choice  of  arms,  that  belongs 
to  me." 

"Still  — if  she  should?" 

"  I  repeat  to  you  I  will  fight  only  with  the  sword 
or  lance,  and  I  shan't  go  back  from  that.  But  if 
she  will  make  an  apology,  I  will  accept  it,  because  I 
have  had  time  for  reflection.  That  soldiers  should 
fight  with  swords  is  right,  that  is  their  profession ; 
that  the  bourgeois  should  fight  with  sticks,  hair- 
dressers with  combs,  boxers  with  their  fists,  cats 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK       215 

with  their  claws,  is  very  right;  but  writers  should 
fight  with  their  pens  only.  Everyone  must  do 
according  to  his  profession." 

The  seconds  met,  and  as  it  was  impossible  to 
come  to  an  understanding,  in  order  to  regulate  the 
combat,  they  went  in  search  of  Madame  Pantalon 
and  begged  her  to  help  them  out  of  their  embar- 
rassment. Cesarine,  after  listening  to  both  parties, 
said  to  them, — 

"  I  think  neither  of  these  ladies  desires  to  fight. 
Tell  them  both,  that  they  have  confessed  that  they 
were  wrong,  and  that  the  affair  is  settled." 

Fouillac  had  helped  Cesarine  to  put  in  order  the 
articles  which  were  to  compose  the  journal  these 
ladies  were  about  to  launch  upon  the  public. 

The  article  written  by  Madame  Pantalon  of  it- 
self filled  half  the  "  Ear-Piercer,"  and  should  have 
assured  its  success,  at  least  so  thought  the  captain's 
niece,  and  Fouillac  was  entirely  of  her  opinion. 
This  gentleman  later  charged  himself  with  the  duty 
of  going  to  get  the  journal  printed  at  Noyon,  then 
he  was  to  repair  to  Paris  to  insert  notices  in  the 
different  newspapers  of  the  approaching  appear- 
ance of  the  "  Ear-Piercer,"  a  yellow  journal  edited 
by  ladies  who  wished  to  enlighten  their  fellow 
citizenesses. 

M.  Fouillac  warned  the  literary  ladies  in  ad- 
vance, that  all  this  would  cost  a  good  deal  of  money, 
because  announcements  in  the  journals  were  very 
dear,  above  all  if  they  wished  to  have  as  good  ones 


2i6  MADAME  PANTALON 

as  those  of  the  novelty  shops,  which  often  took  an 
entire  page  of  the  paper. 

"Yes,  we  certainly  must  be  well  announced," 
said  Cesarine.  "What  does  it  matter  that  it  is 
costly,  since  we  must  have  publicity  and  that  will 
give  us  subscriptions.  It  will  be  money  well  in- 
vested, and  will  bring  us  in  a  good  deal  more.  As 
for  me,  M.  Fouillac,  I  put  my  cash-box  at  your 
disposal." 

"  And  I  too,"  said  Madame  Flambart,  "  I  am 
not  rich  like  Madame  Pantalon,  but  I  have  some 
bank  notes  at  the  service  of  the  journal." 

"  And  you,  mesdames  ?  " 

The  other  Independents  declared  that  they  were 
out  of  funds  at  that  moment. 

"  But  as  our  receipts  will  be  large,  you  can  keep 
back  the  portion  which  we  should  have  given  for 
expenses." 

Fouillac  left,  furnished  with  bank  notes,  for  the 
purpose  of  establishing  and  setting  afoot  this  im- 
portant matter  in  Paris. 

Madame  Pantalon  invited  her  followers  to  set  to 
work  seriously  on  the  second  number  of  the  jour- 
nal, while  their  canvasser  and  agent  —  for  that  was 
the  relation  in  which  M.  Fouillac  stood  to  them  — 
was  engaged  in  puffing  the  first. 

Now  Frederic,  while  all  this  was  going  on, 
having  been  successful  in  the  affair  of  the  mason, 
was  looking  about  to  find  something  else  to  give 
Madame  Pantalon  occupation,  for  he  had  not 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK      217 

established  himself  in  Bretigny  to  remain  inactive. 
One  morning  when  all  the  company  was  breakfast- 
ing, Nanon  came  to  inform  the  captain's  niece  that 
a  man  wanted  to  speak  with  her. 

"  A  man  ?  "  said  Cesarine,  "  and  what  kind  of 
a  man  ? " 

"  Why,  madame,  I  think  he  is  the  same  kind  as 
the  others." 

"  But  does  he  come  from  the  village  ?  Is  he 
one  of  the  peasants  ?  " 

"  He  doesn't  belong  to  the  village,  or  I  should 
have  recognized  him.  He's  not  quite  a  peasant 
and  yet  he's  not  a  gentleman." 

"  If  he  comes  in  search  of  a  carpenter  or  a  mason 
send  him  off,  we  don't  do  that  kind  of  business." 

"  Oh,  no,  madame,  he  doesn't  want  a  workman 
—  only,  he's  holding  his  hand  to  his  stomach." 

"  He's  holding  his  stomach  ?  " 

"  Yes,  madame,  I  noticed  when  I  was  speaking 
to  him  that  he  was  holding  his  corporation." 

"  Well,  what  has  that  to  do  with  us  ?  " 

"  Mercy  !  he's  asking  for  the  chateau  doctor." 

"  Then  he  is  ill  and  has  come  to  consult  us." 

"  Yes,  madame,  that  is  it —  he  is  ill." 

"  I  must  speak  to  him  at  once,  then.  Make  him 
go  into  our  assembly  hall ;  I  will  be  there  in  a 
moment." 

"  Are  you  taking  upon  yourself  to  cure  sick  peo- 
ple,  niece  ?  "  demanded  M.  de  Vabeaupont. 

<c  Why  not,  uncle  ?  I  have  studied  herbs,  I  have 


2i 8  MADAME  PANTALON 

read  a  good  many  medical  books  ;  I  answer  for  it, 
I  can  do  as  well  as  any  doctor.  And  if  there  are 
any  among  you,  mesdames,  who  have  the  slightest 
acquaintance  with  the  healing  art,  they  can  come 
with  me.  That  will  be  a  regular  consultation." 

"  I  understand  about  taking  care  of  sick  people," 
said  the  Widow  Flambart. 

"  And  I,"  added  Olympiade,  "  have  cured  my 
maid  of  an  obstinate  cold." 

"  And  I,"  said  Madame  Dutonneau,"  saved  my 
dog's  life  when  he  was  very  low." 

"  Well,  then,  mesdames,  come  with  me.  You 
will  examine  the  invalid,  and  each  one  of  you  will 
give  her  opinion  ;  it  is  impossible  that  we  shall  not 
by  that  means  arrive  at  a  remedy  which  will  cure 
him." 

These  three  ladies  followed  Cesarine,  but  the 
others  did  not  seem  curious  to  see  this  man  who 
was  holding  his  waistcoat. 

The  supposed  invalid  appeared  to  be  about  forty 
years  of  age,  his  mouth  was  crooked,  and  his  red 
hair  came  over  his  shoulders  and  almost  covered 
his  eyes,  which  did  not  make  him  at  all  attractive  ; 
add  to  this  a  very  pronounced  Picardy  accent,  and 
you  will  have  some  idea  of  this  personage.  When 
he  saw  the  ladies,  the  newcomer  took  off  his  hat 
and  bowed  to  the  floor,  but  still  kept  his  hand  on 
his  abdomen. 

"  You  belong  to  this  village,  monsieur  ? "  said 
Cesarine  seating  herself,  as  did  her  friends  also. 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK      219 

"  Yes,  madame,  that  is  to  say  I  do  and  I  do  not. 
I  formerly  lived  in  Bretigny,  but  I  left  it,  for  busi- 
ness reasons.  I  have  been  away  for  eight  years. 
But  I  came  back  to  settle ;  I'm  staying  with  my 
friend,  Father  Matois,  and  as  I  enjoy  very  poor 
health,  Matois  said  to  me,  f  Why  don't  you  go  to 
the  chateau  and  consult  the  ladies  there  ?  some  of 
them  are  doctors  and  they'll  give  you  remedies 
gratis ;  in  other  words,  it  will  cost  you  nothing.' 
That  last  reason  determined  me,  and  here  I  am." 

"  You  have  done  well,  monsieur.  What  is  your 
malady?" 

"  Why,  madame,  it's  not  only  one ;  I  have 
several  —  I  don't  lack  them,  I  can  tell  you." 

"  But  where  do  you  suffer  particularly  ? " 

"Jingo  !  I've  a  pain  in  my  stomach,  saving  your 
presence,  I'm  bilious,  and  I  am  frightfully  thin,  I 
who  had  such  fine  calves  !  but  there's  nothing  left 
of  them.  Would  you  like  to  see  them  ? " 

"  No,  monsieur,  no,  it  is  quite  unnecessary  for 
me  to  see  your  calves.  Well,  what  else  ? " 

"  I  bloat  terribly  sometimes,  my  stomach  gets 
like  a  drum  —  but  it  is  only  —  it  passes  off." 

Here  Olympiade  judged  it  prudent  to  pass  out 
also ;  she  left. 

"  Is  that  all,  monsieur  ?  " 

"  Oh,  no,  I  have  three  decayed  teeth  which  cause 
me  a  great  deal  of  trouble  ;  my  jaw  gets  inflamed, 
and  that  makes  my  breath  smell.  Would  you  like 
to  see  them,  madame  ? " 


220  MADAME  PANTALON 

"  No,  no,  we  are  not  dentists  ;  we  can  believe 
you  from  a  distance." 

However,  the  invalid  approached  Madame  Du- 
tonneau,  opening  his  great  mouth,  and  Armide 
thought  it  wise  to  make  her  retreat  as  did  Madame 
Bouchetrou. 

"  I  will  give  you  something  to  put  on  your  tooth," 
said  Cesarine.  "  That  is  all,  I  believe." 

"  Oh,  no,  madame,  I  have  not  yet  told  you  of 
the  worst  of  my  troubles  —  I  kept  that  for  the  end. 
Look  you,  madame,  I  have  a  very  sore  affliction  — 
I  don't  know  how  to  tell  you  that — it  is  very 
delicate  to  explain  —  I'm  afraid  I  shall  make  you 
blush." 

"  Come,  explain  yourself ;  to  a  doctor  one  can 
tell  everything — ought  to  tell  everything — unless 
you  do  that,  how  can  you  expect  to  be  cured  ? " 

"  You  are  right !  but  then  you  are  not  like  other 
doctors." 

"  What  does  that  matter,  provided  I  can  cure 
you  ? " 

"  Certainly,  if  you  can  cure  me  I  shan't  ask  any- 
thing else.  Then,  that  is  settled  —  as  I  may  tell 
everything  I'll  go  straight  to  the  point — and  you 
engage  to  cure  me  ?  " 

"  Pray  finish,  monsieur." 

"  I'll  do  so.  Well,  then,  madame,  I've  a  lump 
on  me,  oh,  a  famous  big  lump,  I  think  they  call 
it  a  boil." 

"A  boil  !  why,  good  heavens!  there's  nothing 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK      221 

very  bad  about  a  boil;  everybody  knows  what  a 
boil  is.     And  where  is  yours?  " 

"  Why,  that's  the  deuce  of  it  —  it's  —  it's,  well, 
it's  so  bad  that  I  cannot  sit  down." 

"  I  will  give  you  something  to  make  a  poultice, 
which  you  will  place  on  the  boil." 

"  Will  you  not  have  the  kindness  to  apply  it, 
madame  ? " 

"  No,  indeed,  I  cannot  charge  myself  with  that 
duty.  Why,  nothing  is  easier  than  to  place  a  poul- 
tice. Your  friend  Matois  or  his  wife  would  ren- 
der you  this  service." 

"  Oh,  madame,  'tis  an  enormous  boil,  it  is  not 
like  any  other  boil,"  and  the  gentleman  appearing 
desirous  of  giving  ocular  evidence  of  the  truth  of 
his  statement,  Madame  Flambart  disappeared  in 
her  turn,  exclaiming, — 

"  What  a  horrid  man  !  " 

But  Cesarine  said  to  him  in  a  severe  tone, — 

"  Well,  what  are  you  going  to  do  now  ?  I  will 
give  you  some  simples  for  your  colic,  and  some 
herbs  for  your  poultice,  you  can  put  it  where  you 
like." 

"  Do  you  mean  to  say  anyone  can  quite  cure  a 
sore  without  seeing  it?" 

"  Enough  !  By  Jove,  you  draw  my  patience  to 
an  end!" 

"  What  a  doctor !  who  swears !  oh,  well,  if  that's 
the  way  you  care  for  sick  people,  thank  you,  it's 
hardly  worth  the  trouble  of  putting  one's  self  out 


222  MADAME  PANTALON 

to  come  and  see  you  !  Keep  your  drugs  and  your 
herbs,  I  don't  want  them  !  I'll  go  and  get  cured 
by  some  one  less  delicate  than  you.  Catch  me 
putting  any  faith  in  your  stories !  you're  only  hum- 
bugging us  with  your  remedies  ;  I'll  wager  they'd 
give  me  the  jaundice." 

So  saying,  the  supposed  invalid  took  his  stick, 
drew  his  hat  down  over  his  head,  and  departed. 

"  I  shan't  trouble  to  oblige  these  people,"  said 
Cesarine  to  herself,  "  if  this  is  the  way  they  thank 
me.  After  all,  the  man  was  disgusting,  and  I  am 
not  sorry  he  has  gone." 

When  Madame  Pantalon  returned  to  the  din- 
ing-room, they  asked  news  of  her  invalid. 

"  He's  an  insolent  wretch,"  said  Cesarine,  "  he 
abused  me  because  I  would  not  look  at  his  dis- 
gusting boil." 

"You  should  have  called  Lundi-Gras,"  said  the 
captain, "  and  I'll  answer  for  it  he  would  have  made 
short  work  of  the  gentleman  and  his  boil  too.  But 
these  peasants  will  give  you  plenty  of  business  if 
you  undertake  to  cure  them.  They'll  ask  you  for 
remedies  which  they  won't  take.  Have  you  made 
any  cures  since  you  have  been  here  ? " 

"I  don't  know,  but  I  have  several  times  sent 
prescriptions  to  sick  people  by  Nanon." 

"  They  didn't  cure  them  at  all,  madame,"  said 
Nanon,  who  came  in  at  that  moment, "  and  Jean- 
Pierre's  wife  is  below,  she  has  come  to  ask  if  you 
can  lend  her  a  syringe  for  her  husband,  who  is  not 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK      223 

well ;  or,  if  you  like,  he  can  come  and  take  the 
remedy  here." 

"  Give  him  all  the  syringes  in  the  chateau  and 
let  him  leave  us  in  peace." 

"Mesdames,"  said  the  Widow  Flambart,"  these 
peasants  do  not  respect  us  enough  because  they 
have  not  seen  us  in  our  military  costumes,  and  all 
together,  forming  a  little  troop." 

"  That  is  true,"  said  Amandine  ;  "  we  have  long 
talked  of  a  march  through  the  country  with  our 
rifles  and  our  jackets,  which  are  nearly  all  alike 
except  a  few  buttons  and  some  soutache  more  or 
less  —  but  it  is  a  uniform,  all  the  same  —  and  this 
march  has  never  been  accomplished." 

"  Well,  mesdames,  we  must  make  it ;  you  are 
right,  it  will  impress  these  peasants.  It's  necessary 
to  throw  a  little  dust  in  the  eyes  of  the  populace." 

"  The  weather  is  fine  ;  I  propose  that  we  make 
this  promenade  today." 

"  Today,  so  be  it." 

"  Shall  we  have  a  drum  with  us  ?  " 

"Certainly, it  is  really  indispensable.  Without 
a  drum  we  might  go  all  over  the  village  and  the 
neighborhood  without  attracting  anybody's  atten- 
tion, and  perhaps  we  should  only  be  seen  by  three 
or  four  ploughmen ;  but  the  drum  will  be  heard 
from  afar  and  every  one  will  come  running  to  learn 
what  it  is." 

"Unfortunately,  we  have  no  one  to  beat  the 
drum  but  Nanon,  and  she  does  it  very  badly." 


224  MADAME  PANTALON 

"  Why,  mercy  !  I  only  know  how  to  beat  the 
roll." 

"  If  they  only  hear  the  rolling  of  the  drum,  they 
will  think  it  is  a  military  funeral  that  is  passing. 
Suppose  we  take  Lundi-Gras  with  us  ?  he  knows 
how  to  beat  the  drum." 

"  Oh,  mesdames,  no  men  with  us !  that  would 
ruin  the  effect  we  ought  to  produce." 

"  Oh,  I  know  some  one  who  beats  the  drum 
very  well,"  said  Nanon,  "and  who  knows  how  to 
do  something  else  beside  rolling." 

"Who  is  that?" 

"  Hang  it,  it's  Martine,  the  cook  ;  she  made  fun 
of  me  more  than  once  when  I  was  learning  the 
drum,  and  she  took  it  and  played  some  pieces  on 
it  that  were  magnificent.  She  beats  the  rural  guard 
at  it  easily." 

"  Really,  Martine  knows  how  to  beat  the  drum  ! 
Nanon  go  and  fetch  her  quickly,  and  bring  also 
the  drum  and  drumsticks." 

The  cook  came,  followed  by  Nanon,  who  held 
the  drum. 

"  Martine,"  said  Madame  Pantalon,  "  Nanon 
asserts  that  you  know  how  to  beat  the  drum  very 
well ;  is  that  true  ? " 

"Yes,  madame,  I'm  a  little  rusty  perhaps ;  but 
formerly  I  took  lessons  from  one  of  my  cousins 
who  was  a  drummer  in  the  rifles  and,  dang  it,  it 
went  finely." 

"  Do  you  know  anything  else  beside  the  roll  ?  " 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK      225 

"  I  believe  you  !  I  know  some  marches,  some 
retreats,  some  quicksteps." 

"  Let  us  see,  Martine,  take  the  drum  and  give 
us  a  sample  of  your  talent." 

The  cook  took  the  drum  and  drumsticks  in  a 
very  offhand  manner,  and  executed  some  rub-a- 
dubs  in  a  way  that  delighted  the  ladies  ;  there  was 
one  quickstep  that  almost  made  them  jump  out  of 
their  chairs.  They  were  in  transports,  applauded 
her  vigorously,  and  Cesarine  cried, — 

"  Bravo,  Martine  !  you  have  a  delightful  talent 
for  it,  I  did  not  suspect  that  I  had  a  cook  who  was 
so  good  on  the  parchment.  Was  Lundi-Gras  your 
professor?  " 

Martine  shrugged  her  shoulders  as  she  said, — 

"Why,  the  idea!  Thank  God  I  had  better 
instruction  than  his.  Do  you  think  I  should  ever 
have  learned  anything  from  that  old  cabin  boy  ? 
Why,  my  cousin  was  very  nice  and  the  drum  was 
his  element." 

"  Martine,  you  will  come  out  marching  with  us. 
I  have  an  extra  jacket  that  will  fit  you,  and  a  law- 
yer's cap  on  which  I  will  put  a  pompon  ;  you  will 
walk  at  our  head,  beating  the  drum  ;  and  you  must 
play  that  quickstep  that  raised  us  all  off  our  chairs 
just  now." 

"  I  should  like  nothing  better  than  to  go  with 
you,  madame;  but,  if  I  do  so,  who  will  get  the 
dinner  ready?  Nanon  does  not  know  how  to  peel 
an  onion." 


Vol.  XXI 


226  MADAME  PANTALON 

"  Dinner?  Why  Lundi-Gras  will  undertake  the 
dinner.  You  are  willing  Lundi-Gras  should  get 
the  dinner  today,  uncle,  are  you  not  ? " 

"  Well,  my  dear,  I've  never  tried  him  at  it,  and 
I  confess  I  shall  be  curious  to  know  how  he  will 
succeed." 

"  Then  it  is  settled  that  Lundi-Gras  shall  get 
the  dinner.  Mesdames,  we'll  go  and  dress  our- 
selves, and  I  will  undertake  to  supply  Martine 
with  a  drummer's  costume." 


CHAPTER   X 

LUNDI-GRAS  AS  COOK.    A  CASE  TO  DEFEND 

PRECEDED  by  the  doughty  Martine,  whose  cos- 
tume and  bearing  were  distinctly  military,  and  who 
beat  the  drum  as  if  she  had  served  in  the  Old 
Guard,  the  little  feminine  troop  left  the  chateau  an 
hour  later.  The  captain  was  at  his  window,  with 
his  cabin  boy  behind  him,  watching  the  departure 
of  the  Amazons. 

"They  look  very  nice,"  he  remarked.  "  I  think, 
thousand  portholes  !  that  they  are  really  marching 
in  step." 

"  Are  those  ladies  going  to  fight,  captain?  " 

"  I  should  hope  not." 

"  They  have  rifles." 

"That  is  to  let  people  see  that  they  are  in  a 
state  to  defend  us  if  anybody  should  attack  us," 
answered  the  captain. 

"Is  any  one  going  to  besiege  the  chateau, 
then?" 

"  Hold  your  tongue,  if  you  can't  say  anything 
more  sensible  than  that.  Go  and  busy  yourself 
with  your  cooking,  and  try  to  give  us  something 
good  —  well-flavored  ;  you  know  I  don't  like  in- 
sipid ragouts." 

227 


228  MADAME  PANTALON 

"Yes,  captain,  you  like  dishes  that  make  you 
thirsty.  But  who  is  going  to  help  me  ?  I  can't 
peel  the  vegetables,  put  the  fowls  on  the  spit,  and 
stir  the  sauces  all  at  once." 

"  Take  the  gardener  and  Nanon  with  you." 

"  I'll  take  the  gardener,  but  not  Nanon,  she 
would  be  dipping  her  fingers  in  all  the  sauces." 

Lundi-Gras  went  in  search  of  the  gardener,  to 
whom  he  said, — 

"  Father  Flanquet,  you  must  be  my  assistant ; 
I've  got  to  do  the  cooking,  and  you  must  help 
me." 

"  Help  you  to  do  the  cooking  ?  but  I'm  the 
gardener  ;  I'm  not  a  scullion." 

"  Well,  and  me  ?  Am  I  a  cook  ?  But  when  the 
captain  tells  me  to  get  the  dinner,  why,  I'm  going 
to  get  it ;  because  I  must,  above  everything,  obey 
my  captain,  and  if  he  should  say  to  me,  *  Bring  me 
a  porpoise,'  I  should  go  off  at  once  in  search  of 
one  ;  I  don't  know  where  I  should  find  it,  by  the 
way,  but  I  should  go,  all  the  same." 

"  Is  it  not  enough  that  my  daughter  Nanon 
should  help  you  ?  " 

"  I  don't  want  your  daughter,  she  does  not  listen 
to  me ;  I  tried  to  teach  her  to  beat  the  drum,  but 
she  never  learned  how  to  beat  anything  but  the  roll, 
and  that  badly.  They  gave  me  authority  to  ask 
you  to  help  me ;  come,  Father  Flanquet,  bring 
me  the  best  vegetables  you  have.  I'm  going  down 
to  the  poultry  yard  to  wring  the  necks  of  two  or 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK       229 

three  pullets ;  there  are  some  eels  and  carp  in 
the  fish  pond.  Jingo,  I'll  get  them  up  a  feast  fit 
for  Belshazzar  ! " 

Lundi-Gras  killed  several  fowls  and  brought 
them  into  the  kitchen,  where  he  looked  admiringly 
on  a  long  row  of  saucepans  of  all  sizes,  and  so  well 
burnished  and  glittering  that  one  could  see  one's 
self  in  their  copper  sides.  He  walked  up  to  the 
ovens,  which  were  numerous ;  then  he  stopped  at 
the  great  chimney,  in  front  of  which  several  roasts 
could  easily  be  cooked  at  the  same  time ;  for  it 
must  be  confessed  our  ancestors  understood  how 
to  do  those  things  better  than  ourselves  ;  they  had 
fine  kitchens,  spacious  and  convenient,  and  im- 
mense chimneys  where  the  spits  would  hold  several 
pieces  of  game  at  once,  and  pastry  ovens  in  which 
they  might  have  cooked  bread  for  a  battalion. 
I  fear  that  we  have  degenerated  ;  we  are  more 
dainty,  perhaps,  more  choice  in  our  dishes,  than 
our  fathers  ;  but,  surely,  we  eat  less. 

Lundi-Gras  enveloped  himself  in  an  apron,  put 
a  big  knife  in  his  belt,  then  he  suddenly  shouted, — 

"A  nightcap  —  I  haven't  a  nightcap,  a  cook 
without  a  nightcap  is  like  a  gendarme  without 
belts;  I  must  run  and  get  one.  Father  Flanquet 
always  wears  them,  he  must  have  a  change  —  one 
that  he's  not  wearing." 

Lundi-Gras  made  the  gardener  lend  him  one  of 
his  nightcaps,  and  then  ordered  that  worthy  to 
take  off  his  own  and  to  put  on  his  head  in  its  place 


230  MADAME  PANTALON 

a  cap  which  he,  Lundi-Gras,  had  covered  with  white 
paper,  because  a  chief  cook  does  not  wish  his 
assistant  to  be  capped  like  himself.  They  pro- 
ceeded to  the  kitchen.  Lundi-Gras  graciously 
permitted  Nanon  to  come  and  light  the  fires  for 
the  ovens,  and  to  make  a  big  one  in  the  fireplace. 
While  the  ovens  were  heating  and  Father  Flan- 
quet  was  peeling  the  vegetables,  the  new  cook  was 
walking  about  the  kitchen  cogitating. 

"  Where  am  I  going  to  begin  ?  I  have  so  much 
to  do  that  I  don't  know  what  to  do  first.  In  the 
first  place,  how  many  dishes  shall  I  make  them  ? 
Three  roasts,  a  goose  and  two  ducks ;  a  stewed 
rabbit  and  a  carp  and  eel  stew ;  vegetables  of  the 
season,  asparagus  and  little  peas.  For  dessert  a 
custard  flavored  with  onions,  that's  good,  that  is  ! 
Father  Flanquet,  have  you  any  fruit  ?  " 

"  The  cherries  are  beginning  to  yield,  and  the 
strawberries." 

"  You  must  give  me  some  of  both.  Have  you 
any  cream  cheese  ? " 

"  Nanon  has  some  milk,  and  it's  famous  too  !  it 
is  from  our  cow." 

"  Very  well,  we'll  make  it  into  cream." 
"  How  can  you  do  that  ?  it's  too  thin." 
"  We'll  put  some  flour  in  it,  to  make  it  thick." 
"  Must  we  pluck  the  goose  and  the  ducks  ?  " 
"  What  a  question  !  Have  you  ever  seen  a  goose 
eaten  with  its  feathers  on  ?    You  might  as  well  ask 
me  if  we  must  strip  a  rabbit  of  its  skin." 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK      231 

"  I  thought  the  goose's  feathers  would  burn  off 
the  creature  when  roasting." 

"  It  is  quite  certain  that  at  the  fire  the  feathers 
would  disappear.  In  fact,  I  believe  you  are  right. 
That's  quite  an  idea,  that  is.  And  it's  not  worth 
while  to  pluck  these  fowls.  We'll  put  them  on  the 
spit  just  as  they  are.  We  will  turn  them  often,  and 
naturally  the  feathers  will  soon  be  burned.  That 
will  spare  us  some  unnecessary  work.  And  to  say 
that  Martine  hadn't  thought  of  that !  These  fa- 
mous cooks  never  think  at  all.  Well,  I'll  tell  her 
about  it,  and  in  future  I  bet  she  won't  pluck  her 
fowls.  Dash  it,  I  was  forgetting  the  soup.  What 
soup  shall  I  give  them  ? " 

"  Some  good  cabbage,"  said  the  gardener ; 
"  that's  the  stuff." 

"  No,  the  captain  doesn't  like  it." 
"  Well,  some  onion  soup,  that's  dainty." 
"  No,  Madame  Pantalon  dislikes  it.    Oh,  some 
Julienne  ;  they  put  all  sorts  of  things  in  that,  don't 
they?" 

"  Yes,  all  sorts  of  vegetables." 
"  They  must  put  something  else  in  —  at  Mar- 
seilles I've  eaten  fish  soup  and  it  was  pretty  good." 
"  Bah  —  fish  in  soup  —  were  they  fried  P " 
"  No,  they  were  cooked  in  the  sauce,  we  have 
some  gudgeon  in  the  pond." 

"  There's  some  whitebait,  and  some  soles." 
"  I  don't  care  what  they  are.     Go  and  fish,  and 
bring  me  some  good  ones.    Let  me  see  in  this 


232  MADAME  PANTALON 

cupboard  if  Martine  has  everything  that  is  neces- 
sary to  season  the  stews.  This  is  ordinary  wine ; 
hum  !  that  smells  good,  that's  madeira.  This  is 
—  brandy  ;  but  that  is  not  enough.  I  must  have 
some  kirsch,  some  rum,  some  rack,  I  don't  want 
to  do  insipid  cooking,  I  want  it  to  have  some  taste, 
some  spice.  I  want  to  outdo  Martine.  The  cook 
has  made  a  good  deal  of  trouble  for  me,  and  I'm 
going  to  make  her  lower  her  tone.  Let's  go  to  the 
cellar,  and  I  shan't  spare  the  captain's  spirits." 

While  Lundi-Gras  was  busied  with  the  dinner, 
the  little  feminine  troop  was  walking  through  the 
village  and  its  neighborhood,  announced  by  the 
drum,  on  which  Martine  beat  different  marches. 
The  sound  of  this  instrument  awoke  the  attention 
of  the  villagers,  they  came  running  to  see  what 
troops  were  passing  through  their  countryside,  and 
uttered  shouts  of  astonishment  on  seeing  this  little 
detachment  of  Amazons,  of  whom  some  were 
pretty,  while  others,  not  so  favored  by  nature,  had 
a  very  awkward  air,  with  their  guns  which  fatigued 
them  and  which  they  did  not  know  how  to  hold. 
As  they  went  along,  the  Independents  heard  such 
expressions  as  these, — 

"  Why,  here's  a  masquerade  !  " 
"  No,  these  are  jugglers,  conjurors." 
"  Yes,  and  they  are  beating  the  drum  to  an- 
nounce their  spectacle." 

"  Why,  no,  don't  you  recognize  that  lady,  who 
lives  at  the  chateau,  the  captain's  niece  ? " 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK      233 

"  Oh,  yes,  it  is  Madame  Pantalon  who  is  cor- 
poral." 

"  Does  she  still  want  to  nominate  the  rural 
guard  ? " 

"Why,  no,  there's  Father  Farineux  following 
behind ;  he  belongs  to  the  troop." 

"  Oh,  what  a  good  farce !  just  look  at  the  silly 
things  !  " 

"  It's  a  new  National  Guard." 

The  rural  guard  had  met  the  Amazons,  and 
instead  of  being  angry,  had  taken  to  march  with 
them,  shouting  as  he  did  so, — 

"  Mesdames,  it  is  my  duty  to  protect  you.  The 
mayor  told  me  to  accompany  you,  for  fear  you 
should  be  insulted,  because  the  villagers  might 
take  you  for  Cossacks." 

They  had  been  obliged,  perforce,  to  endure  the 
company  of  the  rural  guard,  which  had  greatly 
vexed  the  little  troop.  But  presently  Father  Fari- 
neux was  joined  by  all  the  urchins,  all  the  children 
of  the  village  who  were  able  to  walk ;  some  of 
whom  sang  to  accompany  the  drum,  while  the 
others  whistled  or  imitated  the  cries  of  animals. 
Then  Madame  Pantalon  had  ordered  the  retreat, 
which  was  not  easily  accomplished,  because  the 
Amazons  were  preceded  and  surrounded  by  such 
a  swarm  of  brats  that  the  drummer,  Martine,  was 
often  obliged  to  distribute  slaps  and  kicks  before 
she  could  advance. 

"  It  seems  to  me  that  we  don't  make  a  very  good 


234  MADAME  PANTALON 

impression  on  the  natives  of  the  country,"  said 
Elvina,  who  walked  in  the  second  rank  between 
Madame  Boulard  and  Madame  Flambart. 

"  It's  because  we  don't  keep  in  step,"  said  the 
latter.  "  Madame  Boulard,  pay  attention  ;  you  ad- 
vance the  right  foot  when  you  ought  to  advance 
the  left." 

"  Oh,  madame,  it's  not  a  question  of  my  foot, 
it's  my  chignon  which  is  coining  off,  I  can  feel  that 
it  is  unfastened  under  my  cap  ;  I  must  pin  it  on." 

"  Madame,  when  one  is  under  arms,  one  does 
not  bother  with  one's  chignon." 

"  I  think  you're  joking  with  your  c  under  arms' ! 
Who  will  lend  me  a  hairpin  ?  Martine,  have  you 
one?" 

"  Madame  Boulard,  will  you  leave  our  drum- 
mer alone  ?  You'll  put  her  out  of  tune." 

"  A  hairpin,  in  the  name  of  all  that  you  hold 
most  dear !  all  my  costume  for  a  hairpin  !  " 

"  Ah,  good,  here  are  some  urchins  singing  as 
they  march  behind  us, — 

Malbrouck  s'en  va-t-en  guerre, 
Mironton,  ton-ton,  mirontaine." 

"  Are  they  singing  that  for  us  ? "  demanded 
Madame  Grassouillet. 

"  Why,  it  really  looks  so  to  me." 

"  There  they  are  whistling  it,  now !  the  little 
brats." 

"  I  think  we  should  do  well  to  turn  back  now." 

"  In  step,  mesdames,  in  step,  now  !  " 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK      235 

"I'm  not  out  of  step." 

"  My  chignon's  coming  off." 

"  Good  heavens,  take  it  off  at  once  and  it  will 
be  done  with." 

"  By  the  left  flank,  march  !  " 

"  Oh,  if  she  talks  to  us  about  the  flank  I  don't 
come  out  again  at  all." 

The  ladies  re-entered  the  chateau  fatigued,  wor- 
ried, and  in  a  very  bad  humor,  because  they  had 
heard  certain  remarks. 

"These  peasants  are  not  yet  well-informed 
enough  to  understand  us,"  said  Cesarine. 

"No,"  said  Madame  Etoile,  "it  is  necessary 
first  to  speak  to  the  mind,  it  is  by  writings  that  one 
enlightens  the  masses  !  it  is  our  journal  which  will 
open  the  way  to  our  success." 

"  We  will  go  and  have  some  dinner  while  wait- 
ing, ladies,  for  we  have  great  need  of  resting  our 
energies,  and  the  captain's  speaking-trumpet  is  call- 
ing us." 

"  Oh,  yes,  don't  let  us  keep  him  waiting  —  " 

The  Amazons  went  into  the  dining-room.  The 
captain  was  in  his  place. 

"  Come,  my  young  warriors,"  he  said,  "  I've 
called  you  twice  already.  I'm  very  curious  to  try 
Lundi-Gras'  cooking.  Are  you  pleased  with  your 
walk?" 

"  Not  altogether,  uncle ;  all  the  children  in  the 
village  wanted  to  accompany  us,  as  well  as  the 
rural  guard." 


236  MADAME  PANTALON 

"  That  was  an  honor  they  rendered  you." 

"  We  could  have  dispensed  with  it." 

"  My  dear,  processions  of  any  kind  always  pro- 
duce an  effect  upon  the  men,  and  infinitely  amuse 
the  children." 

"  The  best  of  our  walk  is  that  it  has  given  us 
tremendous  appetites." 

"So  much  the  better!  Here  is  the  soup,  atten- 
tion." 

Lundi-Gras,  in  his  cook's  costume,  placed  the 
soup  on  the  table,  then  he  remained  behind  his 
master  to  see  the  effect  it  produced.  After  swal- 
lowing a  spoonful,  all  the  ladies  exclaimed, — 

"  Good  heavens !  what  is  the  matter  with  the 
soup  ? " 

"  What  a  singular  taste  !  " 

"It  smells  of  rum!" 

"And  what  do  I  find  among  these  vegetables? — 
a  little  fish  !  " 

"  I've  found  a  sausage." 

"  And  I  a  gherkin." 

"  Look  here,  cabin  boy,  what  soup  have  you 
served  us  ? " 

"  It's  a  Julienne  a  la  Marseillaise." 

"  But  nothing  is  put  in  Julienne  but  the  vege- 
tables." 

"  Excuse  me,  captain,  I  put  everything,  it  makes 
it  more  varied." 

"  But  whence  comes  this  taste  of  rum  which 
accompanies  it  ? " 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK      237 

"  I  know  you  like  rum,  captain,  and  so  I  put 
a  little  drop  of  it  in  the  soup  so  it  wouldn't  be 
insipid." 

The  captain  said  nothing  more,  but  none  of  the 
ladies  could  swallow  this  new  kind  of  Julienne. 
Lundi-Gras  replaced  the  soup  with  an  immense 
dish  of  stewed  fish  which  flamed  like  a  snapdragon. 

"  There,"  said  he,  "  I  hope  that  will  please  all 
the  company.  I've  set  it  on  fire  —  it's  a  real  sea 
dish." 

They  extinguished  the  fire,  then  the  stew  was 
served.  Hardly  had  they  carried  a  morsel  of  it  to 
their  lips  than  the  ladies  uttered  a  new  exclamation. 

"  What  is  it  now  ? "  said  the  captain,  who  had 
not  tasted  it ;  "  have  you  burned  yourselves  ?  " 

"  No,  captain,  it  is  not  that ;  but  no  one  can  eat 
this ;  it  fairly  takes  one's  breath  away." 

"  Taste  it,  uncle ;  I'll  wager  that  you  yourself 
cannot  swallow  it." 

The  captain  took  a  little  of  the  sauce  and  made 
a  terrible  grimace  ;  however  he  forced  himself  to 
swallow  it  all,  saying, — 

"  What  did  you  put  in  this,  Lundi-Gras  ?  " 

"  Why,  captain,  fish ;  it's  pure  eel  and  pure 
carp." 

"  Yes,  but  what  did  you  season  it  with  ? " 

"Why,  captain,  I  put  onions,  pepper,  cayenne, 
wine ;  then  some  brandy  and  kirsch  and  rack  — 
and  confound  it,  if  that  isn't  good,  you  are  hard 
to  please." 


238  MADAME  PANTALON 

"  Why,  you  idiot !  you  put  too  much  in,  alto- 
gether ;  I  might  manage  to  do  with  it,  but  for  these 
ladies  it  is  impossible." 

"  Heavens  !  I  swallowed  a  little  of  it,  and  my 
palate  is  spoiled." 

"  The  cayenne  predominates  a  little,  perhaps," 
said  Lundi-Gras,  "  but  that  is  very  good  for  the 
stomach." 

"  Take  away  your  stew,"  said  the  captain,  "  since 
these  ladies  cannot  eat  it.  I  confess,  myself,  that 
it  needs  a  mouth  well-seasoned  to  hot  things  to 
manage  that  gravy.  See,  you  devil's  cook,  bring 
in  your  roasts  ;  we  must  hope  you  haven't  stuffed 
them  with  cayenne." 

"  Don't  be  alarmed  about  that,  captain,  I  have 
not  put  the  slightest  thing  in  them.  I  serve  them 
to  you  just  as  they  came  into  the  world." 

The  goose  and  the  pair  of  ducks  were  placed 
on  the  table.  The  ladies,  who  had  grown  suspi- 
cious of  Lundi-Gras'  cooking,  looked  at  his  roasts, 
and  thought  them  rather  dark  in  color  with  a  great 
many  little  black  spots  which  are  not  usually  seen 
on  fowl. 

"  Your  roasts  are  surely  burned,"  said  Cesarine, 
"  they've  had  more  than  a  peep  at  the  fire !  " 

"  I  assure  you,  captain,  that  these  beasts  are  not 
burned  at  all." 

"  Well,  they  have  been  very  badly  plucked,  they 
are  covered  with  stalks  of  feathers." 

"Ah,  captain,  it's  because  I've  invented  a  new 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK      239 

method.  We  don't  pluck  fowls  now,  we  roast 
them  in  their  plumage  which  naturally  drops  off 
itself,  and  it's  the  sooner  ready." 

"  That's  a  manner  of  roasting  that  I  never  heard 
of  before,"  said  Madame  Flambart,  "but  I  doubt 
if  it  gives  a  good  taste  to  the  roast." 

"  We'll  see,"  said  the  captain,  "  let  us  cut  them 
up." 

And  the  captain,  who  was  a  good  carver,  dis- 
membered the  goose  and  the  ducks.  The  ladies, 
who  had  eaten  nothing  yet,  attacked  the  poultry 
vigorously,  hoping  at  last  to  be  able  to  satisfy  their 
appetites  ;  but  presently  they  made  sundry  gri- 
maces and  rejected  the  morsels  on  their  forks,  as 
they  exclaimed, — 

"  Ugh,  how  peculiar  it  smells  !  " 

"  It  is  bitter,  bitter  !  " 

"What  is  the  matter  with  these  unfortunate 
fowls  ? " 

"  I  swear  to  you,  captain,  that  I  haven't  stuffed 
them." 

"  No,"  said  Cesarine, "  and  I  wager  you  have  not 
drawn  them." 

"  Drawn  !  what  do  you  mean  by  drawn  ?  " 

"  What  a  question  to  ask !  as  if  we  could  eat 
fowls  prepared  thus." 

"  Why,  I  thought  they'd  be  good  as  they  were, 
and  I  was  very  careful  not  to  meddle  with  them." 

"  Take  them  away,  and  give  us  some  vegetables. 
God  be  thanked,  they  don't  need  to  be  drawn. 


24o  MADAME  PANTALON 

Come,  mesdames,  we  shall  have  an  anchorite's  fare, 

that  is  all." 

"  Yes,  but  it  is  not  very  satisfying." 

They  brought  the  young  peas  and  asparagus ; 

but,  instead  of  white  sauce,  it  was  a  brown  sauce 

which  Lundi-Gras  had  poured  over  the  asparagus. 
"  What  have  you  put  in  that  sauce  ?  "  demanded 

the  captain,  "it  ought  to  be  white  and  it's  ex- 
tremely brown." 

"  It's  none  the  worse  for  that,  captain.    I  know 

you  like  chocolate,  so  I  melted  a  few  cakes  in  that." 
"Asparagus  and  chocolate  !  What  a  mixture  !  " 
"  Bring  us  oil  and  vinegar  quickly,  and  these 

young  peas,  let's  see  how  they  are." 
"  Oh,  they're  cooked  with  brandy  !  " 
"  I  only  put  five  little  glasses  in  to  give  them 

some  flavor." 

"  You've  given  them  a  fine  bouquet." 

"  Lundi-Gras,  you  shan't  do  the  cooking  again." 

"As  you  like,  captain;  after  all,  I'd  rather  eat 

food  than  cook  it." 

The  custard  with  onions  and  the  cream  made 

with  flour  put  the  last  touch  to  the  ladies'  disgust. 

Cesarine  called  Martine  and  said  to  her, — 

"You  must  cook  us  some  supper,  and  hereafter 

we  won't  take  you  away  from  your  ovens." 

"  My  word  !  "  said  the  cook,  "  I'd  much  rather 

cook  than  beat  the  drum  —  each  one  to  his  trade. 

They  didn't  teach  me  cooking  that  I  might  beat 

the  drum." 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK      241 

When  Cesarine  had  a  moment  to  spare  she  went 
to  see  her  daughter,  to  kiss  her  little  Georgette. 
More  than  once  she  had  thought  of  taking  the  lit- 
tle one  to  the  chateau  with  her ;  but  the  child  was 
only  fifteen  months  old,  she  was  very  comfortable 
with  her  nurse,  who  took  great  care  of  her,  and  who, 
besides,  could  easily  come  and  warn  the  mother 
if  the  slightest  thing  happened  to  her  nursling. 

Elvina  nearly  always  accompanied  her  sister-in- 
law  when  the  latter  went  to  see  little  Georgette ; 
but  El  vina  was  no  longer  cheerful,  lively  and  prone 
to  laughter  as  she  used  to  be ;  life  at  the  chateau 
seemed  very  monotonous  to  her ;  she  did  not  wish 
to  work  on  the  journal ;  she  was  not  punctual 
in  her  attendance  at  the  conferences  of  the  Inde- 
pendents, and  while  the  latter  were  laboring  on 
their  acts  and  constitution,  which  they  never  fin- 
ished, Elvina  would  make  a  sign  to  the  young 
lady's  maid,  and  accompanied  by  her  go  to  walk 
about  in  the  neighborhood  of  the  chateau. 

The  young  girl  did  not  suspect  that  there  was 
some  one  in  the  country  who  watched  her,  who 
was  consumed  by  the  desire  to  accost  her,  to  speak 
to  her,  but  who  dared  not,  because  his  brother  had 
forbidden  him.  However,  once  Gustave  was  un- 
able to  obey.  He  was  saying  to  himself,  "  I 
will  not  speak  to  her ;  besides  if  I  were  to  speak 
to  her,  I  should  remember  what  Frederic  has  ad- 
vised me —  I  should  pretend  to  be  no  longer  in 
love  with  her,"  when  at  a  turn  of  a  path  he  found 

Vol.  XXI 


242  MADAME  PANTALON 

himself  face  to  face  with  Elvina  and  her  servant. 
Adolphe's  sister  uttered  an  exclamation,  which> 
however,  was  not  one  of  fear.  She  smiled  at  Gus- 
tave  and  said, — 

"  Why  is  that  you,  M.  Gustave  ?  here  in  this 
part  of  the  country  ?  By  what  chance  is  it  ?  Did 
you  come  to  see  us  ? " 

"  Oh,  no,  mademoiselle,"  answered  Gustave, 
affecting  coldness  and  reserve,  "  I  shall  be  very 
careful  not  to  present  myself  at  Madame  Panta- 
lon's  —  seeing  that  she  has  left  her  husband,  and 
is  surrounded  by  ladies  who  have  done  the  same 
as  she.  I  know  that  men  are  viewed  in  a  very  ill 
light  by  those  ladies,  that  your  sister-in-law  has 
always  been  unamiable  to  my  brother,  and  I  my- 
self am  not  in  her  good  graces ;  every  time  I  tried 
to  talk  with  you  she  would  hasten  to  place  some 
obstacle  in  the  way.  You  see  that  I  could  not 
dream  of  presenting  myself  at  the  chateau." 

"  But  then  —  what  did  you  come  to  Bretigny 
for?" 

"  My  brother  has  some  acquaintances  near  here, 
and  I  came  with  him." 

"  Your  brother  is  with  you,  then  ? " 

"  Yes,  mademoiselle." 

"  Does  he  often  see  Adolphe  ?  " 

"  Yes,  mademoiselle." 

"  And  is  my  brother  happier  since  his  wife  left 
him  ? " 

"  I  don't  know  if  he  is  happier,  but  he  certainly 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK       243 

is  more  peaceful.  Ah,  mademoiselle,  had  you  but 
remained  with  your  brother,  it  would  have  been 
so  sweet  to  me  to  have  gone  to  see  you,  to  have 
some  music  with  you, —  to  tell  you  all  that  I  then 
thought." 

"  Do  you  not  think  the  same  now  ? " 

"  What  use  would  there  be  in  my  loving  a  girl 
who  is  taught  to  look  upon  us  as  tyrants,  slaves, 
or  as  idiots — it  comes  to  the  same  thing;  for  a  man 
must  be  an  idiot  to  consent  to  be  a  slave." 

"  But,  monsieur,  they  don't  teach  me  that." 

"  Why,  very  nearly  so,  mademoiselle.  Madame 
Pantalon  believes  herself  capable  of  doing  every- 
thing, of  filling  every  position  ;  but,  even  if  nature 
had  endowed  her  with  every  capacity,  is  that  a 
reason  why  she  should  treat  her  husband  as  she 
has  done  ?  why  she  should  seek  to  humiliate  him  ? 
Mademoiselle,  women  do  not  suspect  how  much 
of  charm  they  lose  when  they  try  to  play  the  role 
of  man.  And  how  do  you  pass  your  time  at  the 
chateau,  mademoiselle  ?  " 

"  I  am  learning  to  ride  on  horseback,  to  use 
weapons,  and  I  practice  gymnastics.  The  ladies 
are  writing,  they  are  establishing  a  journal.  The 
first  number  is  being  printed." 

"  And  do  you  also  write  for  this  journal,  made- 
moiselle ?  " 

"  No,  monsieur,  I  feel  that  I  have  not  the  talent 
to  write.  Is  your  brother  still  a  doctor  ?  " 

"Yes,   mademoiselle,  when   occasion  requires. 


244  MADAME  PANTALON 

According  to  what  they  tell  me  in  the  village, 
Madame  Pantalon  practices  medicine  also." 

"  Yes,  Cesarine  asserts  that  she  is  as  learned  as 
a  doctor." 

"  And  you  have  had  a  military  march  about  the 
country  ?" 

"  You  are  aware  of  that  also  ?  " 

"  They  say  enough  about  it  in  the  village." 

"  And  what  do  they  say  about  it  ? " 

"  Pray  excuse  me  from  telling  you  that,  made- 
moiselle." 

"  No,  no,  on  the  contrary,  I  want  to  know  — 
I  beg  of  you  tell  me,  M.  Gustave." 

"  Well,  they  think  you  very  ridiculous  —  more 
than  ridiculous  even." 

"  Ah,  I  suspected  it ;  I  did  not  want  to  be  in 
that  procession,  but  my  sister  insisted  on  it." 

Elvina  lowered  her  eyes,  quite  red  and  wholly 
confused,  as  she  listened  to  Gustave's  reply, — 

"  You  see  whither  her  counsels  lead  you.  Ridi- 
cule is  the  thing  most  to  be  feared  in  France  ;  you 
would  never  have  known  that  at  your  brother's, 
where  you  occupied  yourself  with  music,  embroid- 
ery, all  those  charming  talents  in  which  women 
excel,  and  which  render  them  still  more  seductive 
in  our  eyes." 

"  What,  really,  monsieur,  you  like  a  woman  who 
embroiders  and  does  wool-work  better  than  a  wom- 
an who  uses  weapons  and  rides  a  horse  ?  " 

"  Oh,  yes,  mademoiselle ;  not  that  I  absolutely 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK      245 

proscribe  to  a  lady  those  exercises  which  amuse  her 
and  are  agreeable  to  her  ;  a  person  of  your  sex 
may  engage  in  equestrianism,  sometimes,  or  indeed 
fire  at  some  puppets  to  show  her  skill.  But  if  she 
makes  a  habit  of  it,  if  for  masculine  sports  she 
neglects  the  delicate  and  dainty  little  occupations 
which  belong  to  her  sex,  then,  mademoiselle,  that 
which  she  gains  in  strength  and  courage  she  loses 
in  grace  and  charm ;  all  that  which  makes  her 
more  like  a  man  detracts  from  the  woman." 

"  You  are  going  to  leave  me,  monsieur  ?  " 

"  I  must,  really." 

"  And  you  have  nothing  more  to  say  to  me  ? " 

"  I  can  say  nothing  more  to  her  who  has  pre- 
ferred Madame  Pantalon  to  her  brother ;  for  that 
has  proved  to  me  that  she  would  not  listen  to  me." 

And  making  an  effort  to  restrain  himself,  Gustave 
quickly  departed,  for  if  he  had  stayed  he  felt  sure 
he  should  have  thrown  himself  at  Elvina's  feet  and 
sworn  to  her  an  eternal  love.  But  his  brother  had 
made  him  understand  that  that  would  not  be  the 
way  to  correct  her. 

Elvina  remained  alone,  sad  and  thoughtful; 
she  watched  Gustave  as  he  left  her ;  she  hoped 
he  would  turn  and  come  back,  but  he  continued  on 
his  road  and  disappeared.  Then  she  decided  to 
return  to  the  chateau. 

"  That  is  a  very  nice  young  man,"  said  Aglae, 
as  she  followed  her  mistress, "  I  recognize  him  well, 
he  used  to  come  to  your  brother's  in  Paris." 


246  MADAME  PANTALON 

"Yes,  it  is  M.  Gustave  Duvassel;  but  listen, 
Aglae,  you  need  not  mention  this  meeting  at  the 
chateau  —  to  anybody,  do  you  hear  ?  because  — 
because  it  is  unnecessary  to  speak  of  it.  They  may 
prevent  me  from  going  out  if  they  know  this  young 
man  is  in  the  country." 

"  Be  easy,  mademoiselle,  I  know  how  to  hold 
my  tongue  when  necessary  ;  and,  frankly  speaking, 
there's  so  little  that  is  amusing  at  the  chateau,  that 
one  must  catch  at  the  slightest  distraction." 

Fouillac  returned  from  Paris  carrying  copies  of 
the  famous  journal.  The  "  Ear-Piercer  "  was  well 
printed  on  fine  paper ;  the  lemon-colored  cover 
was  satiny,  and  the  lettering  showed  up  well  on  it ; 
it  could  be  seen  from  a  distance.  The  lady  jour- 
nalists were  delighted ;  each  one  of  them  seized  a 
copy  and  hastily  ran  it  over  to  find  the  article  of 
which  she  was  the  author  and  which  seemed  to  her 
of  the  utmost  importance  since  it  was  printed. 

They  thanked  Fouillac,  and  congratulated  him 
on  the  care  he  had  given  to  the  affair.  He  put  an 
end  to  their  thanks  by  drawing  from  his  pocket 
the  memorandum  of  what  he  had  paid  for  the 
paper,  the  press  work,  the  composition,  the  trans- 
portation, the  notices  and  announcements  in  the 
newspapers  ;  all  of  which  amounted  to  the  sum  of 
four  thousand,  six  hundred  and  fifty  francs.  The 
delight  of  these  ladies  being  abated  somewhat 
thereby. 

"  Why,  ladies,  what  matters  this  outlay  to  us  ?  " 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK      247 

exclaimed  Cesarine ;  "  it  is  money  well  spent,  since 
it  will  bring  us  in  four  times,  ah,  ten  times  as  much. 
My  dear  Fouillac,  how  many  '  Ear-Piercers '  have 
you  had  printed  ?  " 

"Three  thousand." 

"  Three  thousand  !  why  that  isn't  enough  !  we 
must  have  ten  —  fifteen  thousand  to  distribute 
everywhere,  in  Paris  and  in  the  provinces.  It  will 
even  be  necessary  to  give  some  away  free." 

"  Not  only  is  it  necessary,  but  it  is  indispensa- 
ble." 

"  Well,  then,  dear  M.  Fouillac,  you  must  go  as 
far  as  Noyon  to  order  a  new  impression  of  the 
*  Ear- Piercer '  —  and  much  larger  than  the  first." 

"  That's  easy  enough  !  I  shall  take  the  chaise, 
and  I  will  go  after  breakfast." 

"  We  abuse  your  willingness  to  oblige,  I  am 
afraid,  M.  Fouillac." 

"  I  have  told  you  that  I  am  at  your  orders.  I 
know  no  more  agreeable  occupation  than  to  be  the 
slave  of  fair  ladies." 

"  Ah,  if  all  the  men  did  but  resemble  you.  But 
you  are  perhaps  the  only  one  of  your  kind." 

The  sight  of  their  printed  articles  inflamed  the 
ladies  with  great  zeal ;  each  one  wanted  to  write 
now,  and  those  who  in  the  first  number  had  had 
only  short  articles,  now  wished  to  revenge  them- 
selves by  filling  several  columns  of  the  "  Ear- 
Piercer." 

Some  days  after  Fouillac's  return,  Aglae  came 


248  MADAME  PANTALON 

to  tell  Madame  Pantalon  that  a  villager  asked  to 
speak  to  her. 

"  Is  it  an  invalid  again  ?  "  exclaimed  Cesarine  ; 
"  if  he  has  a  boil,  I  will  not  receive  him." 

"  No,  madame,  he  is  not  ill ;  and  he  doesn't 
look  as  if  he  was  in  trouble.  He  says  he  wants  to 
consult  you  about  a  lawsuit." 

"A  lawsuit !  ah,  that's  a  very  different  matter, 
tell  him  to  come  in,  quick  !  a  case  to  defend  !  why 
that  is  what  I  have  been  eagerly  longing  for  this 
long  time  past,  and  for  that  I  do  not  need  the 
advice  of  my  committee,"  said  Madame  Pantalon. 
"  Go  and  bring  the  client  in.  I  wish  to  see  him 
in  my  study." 

Aglae  presently  led  in  an  old  peasant  with  a 
sneaky  and  cunning  expression,  whose  back  was 
bent  to  make  believe  that  he  was  hunchbacked. 
He  supported  himself  on  an  old  hazlewood  stick, 
although  he  appeared  still  quite  vigorous ;  but  he 
dragged  his  speech  as  he  did  his  steps.  Cesarine 
pointed  him  to  a  chair,  saying, — 

"  Be  seated,  monsieur." 

"  Madame  is  very  kind,"  said  the  peasant.  "It 
is  not  worth  the  trouble ;  I  can  speak  as  well 
standing  up." 

"  Why,  no ;  I  don't  wish  you  to  remain  stand- 
ing ;  sit  down,  I  tell  you,"  said  Cesarine  authori- 
tatively. 

"  I  should  never  dare  to  sit  myself  down  before 
you,  madame  —  " 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK      249 

"  Why,  confound  you  !  sit  down  or  I'll  have 
you  put  out." 

The  peasant  sat  down,  holding  his  stick  between 
his  legs,  his  hat  on  his  knees,  and  looking  up  at 
the  ceiling. 

"  First  of  all,  what  is  your  name  ?  " 

"  Crapoussier,  at  your  service." 

"  You  belong  to  Bretigny  ?  " 

"  I  am  from  Noyon,  but  I  have  come  to  live  at 
Bretigny  since  I  have  bought  some  bits  of  land." 

"  And  you  have  a  lawsuit  ?  " 

"  Good  God,  yes  !  I  don't  like  it,  however ;  but 
there  are  some  people  who  are  so  unreasonable." 

"  Well,  let  us  see;  explain  your  case  to  me." 

"  I'm  going  to  tell  you  all  about  it,  for  you  are 
an  advocate,  are  you  not  ?  " 

"  Be  easy,  I  will  plead  your  cause  quite  as  well 
and  better  than  many  advocates." 

"  And  gratis  ?  they  told  me  you  would  do  it  for 
nothing.  A  gentleman  from  Paris,  whom  I  met 
at  Father  Matois',  said  to  me,  f  Why  don't  you  go 
to  the  chateau  and  consult  Madame  Pantalon  ;  she 
will  plead  your  cause  without  asking  an  honora- 
rium.' Then  I  came  at  once." 

"  Oh,  it  was  a  gentleman  from  Paris  who  said 
that ;  it  must  be  M.  Fouillac." 

"  I  don't  know  his  name." 

"  No  matter,  he  told  you  rightly  ;  I  do  not  ask 
any  pay  for  my  services.  But  explain  to  me  your 
business." 


250  MADAME  PANTALON 

"  Well,  here  goes  :  we'll  say  that  I  have  some 
ground  right  beside  that  of  Father  Lupot,  a  farmer 
who  is  much  richer  than  I,  seeing  that  I'm  not  rich 
at  all,  and  it  is  ugly  of  him  to  go  to  law  with  a  poor 
man  who  is  alone  in  the  world  save  for  his  servant 
and  his  cows  ;  while  he  has  seven  children,  to  say 
nothing  of  his  wife,  and  his  dogs  and  his  relations  — " 

"  Well,  come  to  your  lawsuit." 

"  I'm  getting  there,  slow  but  sure.  You  see,  it 
dates  from  a  long  time  back ;  because  you  mustn't 
think  that  this  lawsuit  came  of  itself,  quite  natu- 
rally !  oh,  no,  indeed,  that's  been  brewing  for  a  long 
time  in  advance,  and  I  am  quite  sure  that  Fran- 
9015  Lupot  has  said  to  himself  these  years  back, 
1 1  must  bring  a  lawsuit  against  Father  Crapoussier 
—  that  will  delight  me.' ' 

"  Why  should  you  think  that  ?  had  this  Fran- 
9ois  Lupot  any  cause  to  hate  you  ?  " 

"  Perhaps  so,  no  one  knows.  First  of  all,  I  lent 
him  my  horse,  and  he  returned  him  lame ;  you 
must  know  I  went  to  law  with  him  about  that,  and 
he  was  condemned  to  pay  me  ten  crowns.  Another 
time  he  had  a  tree  that  hung  over  my  wall,  and 
which  he  did  not  have  vermiculated ;  that  would 
stock  my  garden  with  caterpillars,  so  I  had  him 
summoned  before  the  mayor  for  that.  Another 
time,  in  passing  in  front  of  my  house,  his  cart  broke 
and  a  wheel  crushed  two  of  my  turkeys  which  were 
walking  about  there.  Oh,  I  had  him  summoned 
again,  to  pay  me  for  my  turkeys." 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK      251 

"It  seems  to  me,  it  was  always  you  who  had  a 
suit  against  your  neighbor." 

"  Yes,  but  he  gave  me  cause ;  he  made  things 
unpleasant  for  me.  Oh,  he's  a  sly  boots,  a  fox ! 
But  this  time  it  was  him  that  began,  the  sneak ! 
and  you'll  see  how  bad  a  part  he  played  !  " 

"  I'm  waiting  for  you  to  come  to  the  cause  of 
your  quarrel." 

The  peasant  continued, — 

"  My  land  was  only  separated  from  Lupot's  by 
a  narrow  path,  where  he  grew  nothing  —  I  planted 
some  potatoes  at  the  side  of  it  —  on  my  side,  only 
the  potatoes  spread  as  they  grew  and  one  could  no 
longer  see  the  path,  that  wasn't  my  fault.  But 
Fran9ois  Lupot  had  already  begun  to  say  that  I 
was  encroaching  on  his  land.  It  is  not  true  ;  in  the 
first  place,  the  lane  was  no  more  his  than  mine.  As 
my  potatoes  were  still  growing  I  set  the  path  a  lit- 
tle farther  on ;  but  this  wrangler  of  a  Lupot  said 
I  made  a  path  on  his  land,  and  that  that  gave  him 
the  right  to  eat  my  potatoes.  But  I  don't  see  it 
that  way  ;  if  he  touches  my  vegetables  he  is  a  thief, 
and  touch  them  he  did ;  I  have  seen  his  children 
taking  them  out  of  the  ground  right  under  my 
very  eyes,  and  he  would  not  pay  me  for  them,  but 
you  may  well  imagine  it  couldn't  go  on  like  that. 
I  said  to  him,  *  Pay  me  for  my  potatoes  ! '  and  he 
had  the  face  to  say  to  me, {  Give  me  back  my  land.' 
So  I  told  him  that  this  land  was  the  lane  and  I 
would  give  back  nothing  at  all.  This  is  the  whole 


252  MADAME  PANTALON 

matter.  We've  already  received  summonses  on 
stamped  paper,  for  he  has  been  to  Noyon  to  make 
a  complaint,  and  the  justice  of  the  peace,  or  the 
clerk  or  the  chief  of  police,  has  sent  me  this  paper, 
from  which  it  seems  I  must  go  to  defend  my  case 
in  two  days  —  and  I  should  very  much  like  you 
to  go  in  my  place.  Wait,  here  are  all  the  papers 
we  have  already  interchanged ;  they  will  explain  to 
you  that  I  am  innocent,  and  that  it  is  Lupot  who 
is  wrong.  Did  you  understand  me  ?  " 

"  Yes,  yes,  I  quite  comprehend  ;  I  am  not  sure, 
however,  that  you  have  acted  within  your  right." 

"  Oh,  if  you  aren't  sure,  you  don't  understand. 
I  tell  you  the  path  doesn't  belong  to  Lupot ! " 

"  Oh,  if  we  can  prove  that !  " 

"  Why,  of  course  we  can  prove  it ;  because  my 
cows  have  used  it  for  a  walk  and  Lupot  has  never 
breathed  a  word,  which  proves  that  my  cows  were 
in  their  right." 

"  Very  well,  give  me  all  these  papers,  and  I'll 
see  that  you  win  your  case." 

"  There  they  are,  and  you'll  get  me  damages  for 
the  potatoes  they've  stolen  from  me  ? " 

"  I  hope  so.  Is  the  path  that  has  caused  this 
difference  long  ?  " 

"  Hum !  not  very  long,  not  very  short,  either. 
It  might  be  eighty  to  a  hundred  feet  long." 

"  Devil  take  it !  that's  quite  a  distance  !  " 

"  And  you  will  go  to  Noyon  tomorrow,  instead 
of  me?" 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK       253 

"  I  will  go.  You  can  count  on  me.  I  will  use 
all  my  eloquence,  and  you  will  win  your  case,  I  am 
assured." 

"  Why,  dang  it !  I  shall  give  you  a  good  squeeze 
of  my  fist,  then  !  Good-by,  advocate.  The  case 
will  be  tried  at  noon  ;  I'll  come  here  the  day  after 
tomorrow ;  you  will  have  come  back  by  then." 

"Oh,  before  that.  By  the  way,  where  is  your 
land?  I  should  like  to  see  your  lane  and  your 
potatoes ! " 

"  You  have  only  to  inquire  at  the  first  house  in 
the  village,  and  they'll  point  out  to  you  where 
Father  Crapoussier's  land  or  house  is.  That  will 
be  free  too,  will  it  not,  madame  ?  " 

"  Why,  yes,  I  haven't  asked  you  to  pay  any- 
thing, have  I  ? " 

The  villager  departed  backwards,  bowing  to  the 
ground.  Cesarinewas  delighted  to  have  a  case  to 
defend ;  she  was  going  to  do  what  her  husband 
did  ;  she  was  going  to  exercise  the  profession  of  an 
advocate.  She  set  to  work  immediately  to  look 
over  the  papers  which  the  peasant  had  left,  she  con- 
sulted the  code,  which  she  explained  in  a  manner 
favorable  to  her  cause,  and  in  that  she  imitated  the 
conduct  of  advocates  generally.  During  these  days 
the  work  on  the  "  Ear-Piercer  "  was  entirely  aban- 
doned. Madame  Pantalon,  not  being  quite  certain 
that  she  knew  how  to  improvise,  wrote  at  first  a 
rough  draft  of  her  plea  in  favor  of  Crapoussier, 
whose  potatoes  had  been  stolen  so  shamelessly. 


254  MADAME  PANTALON 

Then  she  read  to  her  followers  this  eloquent 
speech,  in  which  she  quoted  Cato,  Aristotle,  Cicero 
and  even  Seneca !  And  all  that  in  regard  to  potatoes 
which  these  great  men  had  not  the  privilege  of 
knowing. 

But  Cesarine  had  really  an  aptitude  for  being  a 
lawyer ;  she  had  wanted  to  go  back  as  far  as  the 
deluge  ;  to  speak  of  Noah  and  the  sacred  ark,  but 
she  had  restrained  herself,  saying,  "  For  the  first 
time  I  must  moderate  my  eloquence  ;  I  must  keep 
something  for  a  second  cause." 

The  Independents  thought  her  plea  magnificent, 
and  were  certain  that  her  client  would  win  his  case. 

The  next  day  Madame  Pantalon  visited  her 
client's  land,  and  Father  Crapoussier  showed  her 
the  lane,  in  which  it  was  impossible  for  two  people 
to  walk  together.  But  he  explained  that  this  was 
because  of  the  potatoes,  which  had  encroached  with- 
out his  perceiving  it.  Cesarine,  who  did  not  care 
to  walk  among  the  vegetables,  contented  herself 
with  this  explanation  and  left  the  peasant,  promis- 
ing that  she  would  win  his  cause  for  him. 

The  day  following,  at  noon,  the  female  advocate 
was  at  Noyon,  accompanied  by  Mesdames  Etoile 
and  Flambart,  who  had  wanted  to  witness  her  tri- 
umph. The  judges  seemed  greatly  astonished  to 
sec  a  lady  present  herself  to  defend  Father  Cra- 
poussier's  cause.  However,they  courteously  granted 
her  leave  to  speak,  and  Madame  Pantalon  availed 
herself  of  the  privilege ;  she  spoke  for  more  than 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK       255 

an  hour.  No  one  interrupted  her,  they  seemed 
curious  to  hear  her.  When  at  length  she  had  done, 
Fra^ois  Lupot  advanced.  The  latter  had  no  law- 
yer, and  appeared  in  his  own  defense.  So  he  ex- 
plained his  cause  in  a  few  plain  words  ;  he  did  not 
quote  Cicero  nor  Cato,  but  he  brought  a  plan  of  his 
land,  which  was  verified  by  and  certified  to  by  the 
experts  of  the  town  ;  they  could  see  there  what  was 
formerly  the  path  and  where  it  now  was,  this  being 
the  important  point  in  the  case.  On  receiving  this 
plan,  the  president  of  the  tribunal  said, — 

"  We  must  examine  this  carefully.  We  shall  not 
give  judgment  until  tomorrow." 

Then  Cesarine  returned  to  the  chateau  with  her 
two  companions,  who  said  to  her, — 

"  It  is  disagreeable  that  judgment  should  not  be 
rendered  immediately.  But  you  can  be  certain  that 
your  cause  is  won." 

"  You  think  so,  mesdames  ?  " 

"  There  is  no  doubt  of  it !  "  resumed  Madame 
Flambart ;  "  if  you  could  have  seen  the  air  of  sur- 
prise, astonishment  evinced  by  the  judges  as  they 
listened  to  you.  It  was  really  a  sight  to  be  seen. 
Why,  you  were  magnificent !  You  spoke  for  fifty- 
two  minutes  without  stopping." 

"  Fifty-seven,  madame,  I  had  my  watch,  and  I 
counted  them." 

"  You  couldn't  find  many  men  who  could  do  as 
much." 

"  There  are  some,  but  they  are  rare." 


256  MADAME  PANTALON 

"  When  it  is  a  question  of  speaking  for  a  long 
time,  and  without  a  pause,  the  women  always  have 
the  advantage." 

The  captain  said  to  his  niece, — 

"  Since  you  are  an  advocate,  it  is  necessary  that 
you  should  have  a  robe  made  such  as  they  wear." 

"  No,  uncle,  I  shall  be  most  careful  not  to  do 
anything  of  the  sort,"  cried  Cesarine.  "  I  want 
to  be  an  advocate  without  the  robe,  I  wish  to  re- 
semble these  gentlemen  in  nothing." 

During  the  whole  evening  Madame  Pantalon 
received  the  congratulations  of  her  friends,  and 
Fouillac,  who  had  been  to  inform  Father  Crapous- 
sier  that  the  judgment  would  not  be  rendered  until 
the  next  day,  but  that  he  might  be  quite  easy  as 
to  the  issue  of  his  suit,  returned  to  tell  Cesarine 
that  the  peasant  "  expected  to  come  in  person  to 
offer  his  thanks  as  soon  as  he  returned  from  the 
town,  where  he  must  first  go  to  be  instructed  as  to 
the  tenor  of  the  judgment  and  as  to  the  damages 
which  Francis  Lupot  would  be  condemned  to  pay 
for  having  eaten  his  potatoes." 

They  awaited  the  next  day  impatiently.  On 
the  stroke  of  two  in  the  afternoon  Cesarine  said, — 

"  The  judgment  was  to  have  been  rendered  at 
one  o'clock,  and  no  doubt  it  won't  be  long  before 
we  see  Father  Crapoussier." 

In  fact,  a  quarter  of  an  hour  later  the  villager 
entered  the  chateau, —  but  not  like  the  evening 
before  with  his  back  bent  as  he  bowed  to  every- 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK      257 

body.  This  time  he  saluted  no  one,  but  came  on 
to  the  porch  and  entered  the  groundfloor,  with 
his  hat  on  his  head  and  striking  the  floor  with  his 
thick  stick,  as  he  shouted  furiously, — 

"  Where  is  she,  this  Madame  Pantalon  ?  this 
twopenny-halfpenny  lawyer,  who  assures  you  that 
she  will  win  your  lawsuit  for  you,  and  who,  instead 
of  that,  plunges  you  in  such  hot  water  that  you 
don't  know  how  you'll  ever  get  out  of  it.  Where 
is  she,  that  I  may  tell  her  what  she  has  done. 
She  has  no  business  to  take  people  in  like  that. 
She's  nice,  she  is,  with  her  gratis!  I  should  have 
done  much  better  to  have  paid  an  advocate  for  the 
job  who  would  have  won  my  case,  than  to  put  it 
into  the  hands  of  some  one  who  didn't  know  how 
to  plead." 

Cesarine  came  in  with  several  of  her  friends,  and 
on  perceiving  Father  Crapoussier  said  to  him, — 

"Well,  are  you  satisfied?" 

"  Satisfied  !  satisfied  !  Dang  it !  are  you  making 
game  of  me,  Madame  Twaddler?  It's  not  enough 
to  have  made  me  lose  my  case,  but  you  must  chaff 
me  too ! " 

"  Lost  your  lawsuit !  you  have  lost  your  law- 
suit?" 

"Yes,  yes  —  lost  it !  Jingo,  it  seems  you  talked 
for  an  hour  without  stopping  and  they  got  tired  of 
it,  the  judges  did,  and  no  wonder,  for  you  said  a 
whole  lot  of  stupid  things  that  had  no  connection 
with  my  affair." 

Vol.  XXI 


258  MADAME  PANTALON 

"  Peasant!  you  are  a  fool ;  be  more  polite  or — " 

At  Cesarine's  apostrophe  our  peasant  drew  him- 
self up. 

"  A  fool !  Yes,  so  I  was,  to  trust  myself  to  you, 
to  think  that  a  woman  could  understand  anything 
of  law  matters.  Lupot  wasn't  so  stupid,  not  he ! 
he  defended  himself  all  alone.  And  do  you  know 
what  the  cursed  judgment  means  ?  It  condemns 
me  to  pay  a  hundred  crowns  damages  for  having 
planted  on  land  that  did  not  belong  to  me.  A 
hundred  crowns  !  it's  frightful !  and  more  than  that, 
I  must  take  up  my  potatoes  for  two  metres,  so 
they  say,  that  the  path  may  be  where  it  was  before. 
And  my  potatoes  will  never  grow  after  they  are 
transplanted.  I  know  it  well.  This  judgment  has 
ruined  me  ! " 

"  Ruined  you  !  Come  now,  they  tell  me  you  are 
the  richest  man  in  the  village." 

"  Those  who  told  you  that  lied.  To  move  my 
potatoes  and  pay  a  hundred  crowns  to  Lupot,  and 
then  the  expenses  of  the  suit  —  it'll  give  me  the 
cholera  morbus.  And  you,  you  wretched  advo- 
cate !  are  the  cause  of  all  this.  When  people  don't 
know  how  to  gain  cases  they  shouldn't  undertake 
them.  Lupot  told  me  you  spoke  of  M.  Cicero  and 
M.  Seneca,  as  if  I  knew  those  people?  and  as  if 
they  could  know  anything  about  my  potatoes. 
You  said  lots  of  stupid  things.  You'd  do  much 
better  to  look  after  your  pot-au-feu,  than  to  play 
the  advocate." 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK       259 

"You  are  insolent  —  go  away  at  once. 

"Insolent!  Come,  no  big  words,  for  I  won't 
stand  them." 

"  Lundi-Gras  !   Lundi-Gras  ! " 

"  Here  I  am,  captain." 

"  Put  this  man  out  immediately ;  if  he  resists, 
thrash  him." 

"Yes,  captain.     Come,  get  out!  quick  march!" 

"What's  this!  They  want  to  fight  me  now. 
This  is  the  last  straw!  They  tell  you  they'll  serve 
you  *  gratis,'  and  then  they  thrash  you." 

The  peasant  tried  to  resist,  he  made  a  motion 
as  if  to  raise  his  stick,  but  Lundi-Gras  was  still  able 
for  him.  He  snatched  the  villager's  stick  and, 
pushing  the  man  in  front  of  him,  he  put  him  out 
of  the  chateau;  then  he  threw  his  stick  at  his  feet 
and  said  to  him,  "  Don't  let  me  see  you  here 
again,  or  I'll  flog  you  with  your  own  stick." 

While  Father  Crapoussier  went  off  swearing  and 
vociferating  against  Madame  Pantalon,  the  latter 
retired  to  her  chamber,  very  much  vexed  at  the 
result  of  the  first  cause  she  had  had  to  defend. 


CHAPTER   XI 

A  WATER  PARTY.    FOUILLAC  AS  A  SPECULATOR. 
A  WILD  BOAR  HUNT 

A  CERTAIN  amount  of  gloom  was  cast  upon  the 
company  at  the  chateau  by  this  episode  of  the 
lawsuit;  but  Madame  Grassouillet,  who  loved  ex- 
citement and  movement,  wished  before  all  things 
to  procure  some  amusement  for  herself,  and  said 
the  next  day, — 

"Mesdames,  we  will  work  at  our  journal,  that's 
all  very  well ;  but  we  must  not  be  always  working. 
We  were  promised  a  great  many  diversions,  such 
as  fishing  and  hunting ;  to  fish  is  a  very  quiet  pleas- 
ure, it  is  not  yet  the  season  for  hunting ;  but  there 
is  a  fine  piece  of  water  at  the  end  of  the  garden, 
it  is  quite  extensive,  and  in  some  places  bordered 
by  little  rocks  and  grottoes  ;  it  is  very  picturesque. 
Well,  we  haven't  yet  thought  of  boating  and  I 
propose  we  shall  go  on  the  water  after  dinner." 

"  That's  a  charming  idea  !  " 

"  Oh,  I  never  go  on  the  water,"  said  Madame 
Vespuce, "  I  don't  know  how  to  swim,  and  I  might 
be  drowned." 

"Could  anyone  really  be  drowned  there?  Is 
your  piece  of  water  deep,  Cesarine  ?  " 

•fe 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK       261 

"  Why,  no,  only  about  four  feet.  There  is  no 
danger." 

"  Thank  you  !  four  feet,  I  should  be  over  the 
nose  in  it,"  said  Zenobie.  "  I  shan't  go." 

"  Good  heavens !  mesdames,  you  need  not  be 
uneasy ;  we  must  first  of  all  find  out  if  there  are 
enough  boats  to  carry  us  all.  Aglae,  tell  Lundi- 
Gras  to  come  here." 

"  Lundi-Gras,  how  many  boats  are  there  on  the 
lake  ? " 

"  Three,  captain." 

"  How  many  persons  will  they  hold?" 

"  Eight  apiece." 

"  They  will  more  than  accommodate  us  then ; 
and  are  they  all  in  good  condition  ? " 

"  No,  captain  ;  the  green  is  sunk,  the  blue  has 
one  side  damaged,  but  the  red  is  in  perfect  order." 

"Confound  it!  why  didn't  you  tell  us  at  once 
that  there  was  only  one  fit  for  use  ?  —  and  that  will 
only  hold  eight." 

"  Or  nine  or  ten,  by  squeezing  a  little." 

"  That's  all  right ;  those  who  don't  go  the  first 
time,  will  go  the  second." 

"I,"  said  Madame  Dutonneau,  "I  claim  the 
place  of  boatman;  I  row  perfectly  well.  I  have 
often  led  the  boats.  I  will  make  this  one  go,  I 
promise  you." 

"  Very  well,  that  is  understood,  you  will  be  our 
boatman.  Lundi-Gras,  you  will  see  that  the  boat 
is  in  good  condition?" 


262  MADAME  PANTALON 

"  Be  easy  about  that,  captain." 

After  dinner  the  ladies,  who  had  all  changed 
their  gowns  for  yachting  costumes,  resorted  to  the 
piece  of  water.  Lundi-Gras  was  awaiting  them 
there,  and  kept  near  the  boat  to  help  the  company 
to  get  into  it.  He  had  placed  a  plank  which 
served  as  a  bridge,  in  order  that  they  might  reach 
the  boat  without  getting  their  feet  damp.  As  for 
himself  he  stood  with  the  water  up  to  his  shoulders 
that  he  might  guard  the  passage  of  the  ladies.  But 
water  was  his  element,  he  would  rather  be  in  it 
than  out  of  it. 

The  boatman,  handsome  Madame  Dutonneau, 
jumped  into  the  boat.  After  her  stepped  Cesar- 
ine,  Madame  Etoile,  Madame  Boulard,  Madame 
Bouchetrou,  Madame  Grassouillet,  the  Widow 
Flambart  and  two  damsels  of  mature  age,  who 
asserted  that  they  could  swim  like  carp.  This  made 
nine  persons,  and  Lundi-Gras  was  careful  to  say 
to  them, — 

"  Always  keep  in  the  middle  of  the  boat,  don't 
all  lean  to  the  same  side  unless  you  want  to  cap- 
size it.  In  any  case  don't  be  afraid ;  if  you  fall 
into  the  water,  I'll  fish  you  out  again." 

But  as  these  ladies  greatly  preferred  not  to  have 
to  be  fished  out,  they  kept  very  quiet  on  the 
benches  placed  across  the  boat;  Madame  Duton- 
neau had  taken  the  oars,  she  used  them  very  skil- 
fully, she  cut  the  water,  she  passed  through  the 
narrowest  places,  and  turned  around  the  little  isles 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK       263 

which  made  the  lake  look  so  pretty.  The  com- 
pany was  delighted,  they  cried, — 

"  Honor  to  our  boatman." 

"  Long  live  the  woman  who  knows  how  to  steer 
her  boat !  " 

"  Madame  Dutonneau  would  be  worthy  of  the 
galleys." 

"  What !  the  galleys  ?  " 

"  I  meant  by  that  that  she  rows  better  than  a 
galley  slave." 

"  Oh,  what  a  pretty  scene." 

"  I  would  willingly  pass  my  life  on  the  water." 

"And  those  cowardly  things  who  were  afraid!" 

"  Oh,  how  we  shall  mock  at  them  on  our  return." 

However,  proud  of  the  eulogies  she  received, 
Madame  Dutonneau,  to  show  her  skill,  wanted  to 
turn  quickly  in  front  of  a  little  rock  which  at  this 
place  bordered  the  stream,  but  whether  she  did 
not  take  a  wide  enough  turn,  or  whether  the  rock 
lay  farther  out  under  the  water,  the  little  bark 
touched  violently  against  the  reef;  no  harm  would 
have  resulted  therefrom  had  the  persons  in  the 
boat  kept  quiet;  but  at  the  shock  which  made  it- 
self felt  they  were  frightened  and  all  precipitated 
themselves  to  the  other  side  of  the  boat ;  then  that 
which  Lundi-Gras  had  foreseen  happened;  the 
weight  of  the  ladies  Capsized  the  light  boat  and  they 
all  fell  into  the  water. 

At  the  loud  cries  they  uttered,  Lundi-Gras,  who 
from  the  bank  had  not  lost  sight  of  the  boat,  had 


264  MADAME  PANTALON 

immediately  thrown  himself  into  the  water  and 
came  to  help  those  who  could  not  swim.  Cesarine 
and  her  friends  were  already,  without  the  help  of 
the  old  cabin  boy,  on  terra  firma;  but  the  elderly 
maidens  who  had  pretended  to  be  able  to  swim 
like  carp  were  shrieking  loudly  and  calling  for  help. 
Lundi-Gras  soon  seized  them;  he  put  one  of  them 
on  his  back,  pushed  the  other  before  him,  and 
presently  these  false  carp  were  out  of  danger. 

Cesarine  then  looked  around  her,  saying, — 

"  Let's  see,  is  every  one  fished  out  ?  It  seems 
to  me  they  are  —  " 

"  And  Madame  Boulard  ?  "  cried  Paolina,  "  I 
don't  see  her." 

"  Good  heavens !  you  are  right,  poor  Madame 
Boulard  is  still  in  the  water.  Lundi-Gras !  " 

"  Hallo,  Lundi-Gras  !  " 

"  Good  heavens  !  has  he  taken  a  header  ?  " 

"  Lundi-Gras,  where  are  you  ?  " 

"Here  I  am,  captain." 

"  Quick  !  quick  !  you  must  get  Madame  Bou- 
lard out." 

"  Be  easy,  captain,  I  see  something  waving  over 
there,  it's  a  hand  which  rises  from  the  water ;  that 
must  be  the  missing  lady  —  I'll  go  and  bring  her 
to  you." 

Lundi-Gras  threw  himself  into  the  water  and 
soon  arrived  at  the  place  where  he  had  seen  the 
arm ;  it  was  in  fact  Madame  Bou lard's  ;  the  poor 
woman,  whose  head  was  only  half  above  water,  had 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK       265 

begun  to  lose  her  breath.  The  cabin  boy  managed 
to  raise  her  in  such  a  way  that  she  could  get  the 
water  out  of  her  mouth.  He  wanted  to  reach  the 
bank  with  his  burden,  but  Madame  Boulard  ex- 
claimed,— 

"  No,  no,  not  yet,  and  my  chignon !  I've  lost  my 
chignon  in  the  water;  I  must  find  it — look  for 
my  chignon  in  the  water." 

"  Why,  madame,  how  do  you  suppose  I  can  find 
your  hair  in  the  water  ?  The  fishes  will  have  swal- 
lowed it." 

"  No,  no,  I  want  my  chignon,  I'll  place  myself 
astride  your  shoulders,  you  will  swim,  and  I  will 
look  for  my  fine  chignon,  it  cost  me  forty  francs  and 
it  is  worth  a  hundred.  Swim,  sailor,  swim  !  that 
is  your  trade,  you  can  swim  perfectly,  I  am  very 
comfortable  on  your  back." 

On  the  bank  they  were  astonished  that  Lundi- 
Gras  and  Madame  Boulard  did  not  come  towards 
them.  However,  they  had  no  more  fears  for  that 
lady,  for  they  saw  her  in  the  water  astride  the  old 
cabin  boy's  back;  from  afar  she  produced  the  effect 
of  a  siren.  It  was  altogether  original. 

"What  does  this  mean?"  said  Cesarine.  "Does 
she  want  to  learn  to  swim  ?  Why  she  will  completely 
exhaust  poor  Lundi-Gras  ;  and  then  we  can't  wait 
here  for  her  any  longer,  we  must  go  and  change  our 
clothes." 

"  We  are  dripping  wet,  so  much  the  worse  for 
us,  and  we  must  go  and  change." 


266  MADAME  PANTALON 

"  Lundi-Gras  !  Lundi-Gras — will  you  soon 
have  done  carrying  Madame  Boulard  about  in  the 
water.  Come  here,  I  order  you !  Does  Madame 
Boulard  take  you  for  a  dolphin  ?  " 

The  old  cabin  boy  had  never  disobeyed  the  voice 
of  her  whom  he  called  his  captain  ;  so  he  turned 
towards  the  bank,  despite  Madame  Boulard's  en- 
treaties, who  exclaimed, — 

"  I  think  I  see  it.    An  eel  is  playing  with  it." 

"I  am  very  sorry,  madame, but  my  captain  has 
called  me  and  I  am  at  her  orders;  besides,  it  is 
getting  dark  and  it  will  be  impossible  to  find  your 
chignon." 

Madame  Boulard  returned  to  terra  firma  in  the 
depths  of  despair ;  she  explained  to  the  company 
what  she  was  doing  in  the  water,  but  instead  of 
pitying  her  and  sharing  her  grief,  the  ladies  allowed 
themselves  to  laugh  at  the  event,  and  pretty  Aman- 
dine said  to  her,  smiling, — 

"  Really,  madame,  you  are  very  unlucky  with 
your  chignons.  In  your  place  I  should  do  away 
with  that  style  of  hair  dressing." 

"  Do  away  with  my  chignon  !  give  up  my  chig- 
non," cried  the  fat  little  woman,  in  a  voice  shrill 
with  anger.  "  I  would  sooner  go  without  my  garters. 
Tell  the  men  to  do  away  with  their  false  wigs,  and 
you  would  see  how  they  would  answer  you." 

The  day  after  this  boating  excursion  Madame 
Boulard  left  the  chateau  without  saying  good-by 
to  any  one. 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK      267 

"  Good  riddance  !  "  said  Cesarine,  "  I  don't  re- 
gret the  lady  very  much,  she  never  thinks  of  any- 
thing but  her  chignon,  and  we  shall  not  regenerate 
ourselves  in  the  eyes  of  the  world  with  such  futile 
ideas  as  those." 

A  more  important  thing,  besides,  was  affording 
occupation  to  the  Independents.  The  second  num- 
ber of  their  journal  was  printed.  They  had  had 
twelve  thousand  impressions  taken,  which  they  ad- 
dressed to  their  agent ;  then  Fouillac  undertook 
to  go  again  to  Paris  to  inform  himself  as  to  the  sale 
of  the  first  number. 

"  Must  we  have  fresh  notices  and  announce- 
ments for  the  second  number  of  the c  Ear- Piercer '  ? " 
asked  the  officious  Fouillac  of  Madame  Pantalon. 

"  Yes,  yes,  we  need  a  little  more  publicity  ;  why, 
to  cover  this  new  expense  you  will  have  the  prod- 
ucts of  the  sale  of  the  first  edition,  also  the  money 
for  the  subscriptions  which  will  have  been  taken." 

Fouillac  made  a  slight  grimace,  as  he  answered, — 

"  Suppose  that  is  not  sufficient,  however." 

"What  are  you  thinking  of?  —  that  is  impos- 
sible. As  for  that,  my  dear  Fouillac,  you  will  not 
be  short  of  money,  for  I  was  going  to  ask  you  to 
take  from  a  notary's  hands  fifty  thousand  francs, 
a  part  of  my  dowry  that  my  husband  had  placed 
there.  It  is  very  badly  invested,  it  only  brings  me 
in  five  per  cent,  and  I  can  do  infinitely  better  than 
that.  If  you  hear  of  a  good  investment,  let  me 
know  ;  I  want  to  increase  my  money." 


268  MADAME  PANTALON 

"That's  an  excellent  idea — besides,  it  is  only 
with  money  that  one  makes  money  ;  water  always 
runs  towards  the  river,  'who  risks  nothing  gains 
nothing/  I  could  quote  as  much  in  regard  to  this 
as  Sancho ;  but  instead  of  proverbs  I  want  to  em- 
ploy myself  in  making  you  a  millionnaire.  What 
one  can't  do  for  one's  self,  one  is  sometimes  suc- 
cessful in  doing  for  others." 

Madame  Flambart,  who  had  heard  this  conver- 
sation, said  in  her  turn  to  Fouillac, — 

"  I  am  not  very  rich,  I  have  only  five  thousand 
francs  income,  which  is  little  for  a  woman  who  be- 
lieves in  keeping  up  with  the  fashions.  I  have,  at 
a  banker's,  thirty  thousand  francs,  which  brings  me 
in  hardly  fourteen  hundred  francs ;  I'm  going  to 
give  you  power  of  attorney  and  you  will  draw  out 
this  thirty  thousand  francs  and,  while  you  are  look- 
ing for  a  good  investment  for  Madame  Pantalon, 
if  you  find  one  for  me  you  can  let  me  know." 

"  With  great  pleasure,  my  dear  widow,  it  is  even 
possible  that  I  can  invest  your  money  and  Ma- 
dame Pantalon's  in  the  same  affair.  I  will  tell  you 
as  to  that  on  my  return." 

So  Fouillac  went  to  Paris,  furnished  with  power 
of  attorney  of  these  ladies  and  the  instructions  he 
must  follow  to  push  the  sale  of  the  "  Ear- Piercer  " 
and  give  it  great  publicity. 

During  the  absence  of  their  agent,  these  ladies 
made  plans  for  the  employment  of  the  profits  which 
would  come  to  them  from  the  lemon  journal. 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK      269 

"  We  must  put  all  these  profits  together,"  said 
Cesarine,  "  and  when  they  amount  to  a  good  round 
sum,  buy  a  pretty  estate  large  enough  to  lodge  all 
those  of  us  who  wish  to  live  as  a  community.  We 
will  choose  a  pretty  site  in  a  place  where  the  air  is 
good  —  that  will  be  an  agreeable  retreat,  and  we'll 
send  there  all  those  who  are  sick." 

"  Yes,  the  consumptives  only  ?  " 

"Why  consumptives  only  ?  " 

"  Because  if  they  care  for  all  the  sick  there,  our 
pretty  retreat  will  become  a  hospital." 

"  Mesdames,  permit  me,"  said  pretty  Amandine, 
"  you  don't  wish  anyone  to  touch  the  profits,  that 
seems  to  me  rather  arbitrary.  As  for  me,  I  need 
money,  I  want  to  buy  several  things.  I  demand 
all  that  is  coming  to  me." 

"  Madame  Grassouillet,  allow  me  to  say  that  at 
first  it  will  be  only  right  to  reimburse  those  who 
made  the  advances — as  I  and  Madame  Flambart 
have  done  ;  for  it  was  we  two  only  who  backed  the 
publication  of  the  *  Ear-Piercer.' ' 

"  Reimburse  you  for  your  advances,  that's  well 
enough  ;  but  I  wish  to  have  my  share  of  what 
remains." 

"  I,"  said  Madame  Vespuce, "  have  a  big  enough 
bill  at  my  dressmaker's,  I  shall  not  be  sorry  to  set- 
tle with  him." 

"That's  enough,  mesdames,  we  will  settle  all  that 
when  M.  Fouillac  returns." 

"  Ah,  I  wish  he  was  back  now !  " 


270  MADAME  PANTALON 

"  And  me  too." 

"  Oh,  that  cursed  money,  so  often  maligned,  yet 
one  always  comes  back  to  it." 

Fouillac  was  five  days  absent.  The  ladies  wasted 
their  time,  for  they  could  think  of  nothing,  dream 
of  nothing  but  the  profits  which  they  hoped  to 
receive,  the  greater  number  having  refused  to  leave 
their  money  in  fund  to  buy  a  villa. 

At  last  their  man  of  business  came  back.  His 
countenance  was  grave,  almost  gloomy,  which  was 
not  usual  with  him  ;  he  began  by  handing  a  pocket- 
book  to  Cesarine  and  another  to  Madame  Flam- 
bart,  saying, — 

"  I  have  received  your  funds." 

"  Very  well,  dear  M.  Fouillac.  Oh,  we  were 
quite  easy  as  to  that  matter.  But  the  journal, 
please  give  us,  before  you  do  anything  else,  an 
account  of  its  activity  and  its  passivity.  We  are 
burning  to  know  how  we  stand  with  the  s  Ear- 
Piercer.'  " 

Fouillac  pulled  a  long  envelope  from  his  pocket, 
and  took  a  paper  therefrom,  saying, — 

"  It  is  with  regret,  mesdames,  that  I  am  obliged 
to  tell  you  that  the  { passive  '  surpasses  the f  active  ' 
by  a  great  deal !  but  you  must  not  let  that  fright- 
en you  ;  in  the  inception  of  any  enterprise  it  is 
almost  always  thus.  It  is  a  good  sign,  for,  as  the 
proverb  says,  *  Who  wins  at  first  gets  but  smoke ; 
but  who  wins  at  the  second  time,  gets  good  ! ' 

"In  fact,  M.  Fouillac,  we  are  not  asking  for 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK       271 

proverbs,  but  for  the  account  of  the  sale  of  the  first 
number  of  the  '  Ear- Piercer.' ' 

"  I'm  coming  to  it,  mesdames  ;  but  please  don't 
be  impatient ;  when  it  is  a  question  of  accounts  it 
is  necessary  to  take  time,  or  else  one  risks  errors  ! 
Here  it  is  !  The  first  expense  of  the { Ear- Piercer ' 
was  four  thousand  six  hundred  and  fifty  francs." 

"  We  know  that !  Go  on." 

"  Allow  me ;  I  wish  to  clearly  define  the  ac- 
count ;  I  had  twelve  thousand  extra  copies  of  the 
first  number  printed,  as  you  wished,  that  cost  me 
six  hundred  francs." 

"That's  right.  But  all  these  expenses  have 
been  paid." 

"Well,  I  don't  ask  you  to  pay  them  over  again; 
I'm  merely  defining  the  account  of  the  expenses. 
This  time,  to  push  the  sale  of  the  second  number 
—  I  have  paid,  for  notices  and  announcements,  two 
thousand  three  hundred  and  twenty  francs." 

"  And  after  ?     What  about  the  sale  ?" 

"They've  placed  six  thousand  four  hundred 
copies  of  the  first  number." 

"  Oh,  that  is  very  good  indeed,  for  a  beginning." 

"Yes,  but  of  this  number,  six  thousand  three 
hundred  and  ninety-one  were  distributed  free  — 
they  have  sold  only  nine  copies." 

"  Only  nine !  And  what  about  the  subscrip- 
tions ? " 

"  They  have  not  got  a  single  subscription  ;  the 
nine  numbers  have  been  sold  at  fifty  centimes 


272  MADAME  PANTALON 

apiece,  the  price  marked ;  total,  four  francs,  ten 
sous,  from  which  we  must  deduct  half  for  the  com- 
mission on  the  sales." 

"  Half  for  commission !  why  that  is  monstrous ! " 

"He  asserts,  on  the  contrary,  that  it  is  not 
enough,  that  he  usually  gets  at  least  two-thirds." 

"  Why  doesn't  he  ask  for  the  whole  ?  " 

"  You  will  have  to  give  him  all,  if  he  should 
ask  for  another  commission.  In  fact,  I  have  re- 
ceived forty-five  sous  profit ;  then  from  that  we 
must  deduct  some  two  thousand  three  hundred 
francs  of  additional  expenses ;  and  there  remains 
to  be  paid  two  thousand  three  hundred  and  seven- 
teen francs,  seventy-five  centimes,  that  I  have  taken 
from  the  sum  I  brought  to  Madame  Pantalon. 
Here  is  the  exact  account  of  the  little  yellow  jour- 
nal, for  which  you  have  up  to  the  present  disbursed 
in  all  seven  thousand  five  hundred  and  sixty-seven 
francs  and  seventy-five  centimes." 

The  brows  grew  dark,  faces  lengthened  and 
several  voices  were  raised  to  say, — 

"It  was  hardly  worth  while  to  work  as  if  we 
were  paid  for  it." 

"A  nice  success  is  the  *  Ear- Piercer'!" 

"  They  will  perhaps  ask  us  to  pay  our  share  of 
the  expenses." 

"  Catch  me  giving  anything  ! " 

"  So  much  the  worse  for  them ;  those  who  had 
the  idea  of  establishing  a  journal  ought  to  bear  the 
consequences." 


CHARLES  PAUL   DE  KOCK      273 

These  ladies,  at  this  moment,  forgot  that  they 
had  all  conceived  the  idea  when  Madame  Etoile  had 
brought  the  subject  on  to  the  carpet. 

The  day  after  Fouillac's  return  Madame  Gras- 
souillet  and  Madame  Vespuce  left,  like  the  lady  of 
the  chignon,  without  saying  good-by  to  anyone. 

"Those  two  ladies  think  of  nothing  but  dress," 
said  Cesarine,  "let  them  join  Madame  Boulard, 
I  regret  them  little.  They  thought,  perhaps,  that  I 
should  make  them  reimburse  their  shares  of  the 
money  I  have  advanced.  They  little  know  me. 
I  can  support  this  loss  without  distressing  myself. 
However,  I  should  like  to  make  a  good  deal  of 
money,  to  realize  the  plan  I  have  conceived  of  a 
retreat  for  women  who  have  cause  to  complain  of 
their  husbands." 

"Ah,  my  dear,  you  will  need  an  immense 
house,"  said  the  Widow  Flambart. 

"  I  hope  that  Fouillac  can  find  us  an  advanta- 
geous investment.  He  told  me  yesterday  evening 
that  he  would  come  this  morning  to  talk  business 
with  me.  I'm  expecting  him  now." 

"I,  like  you,  have  every  confidence  in  this 
honest,  obliging  Fouillac ;  he  is  not  a  man,  he  is  a 
spaniel,  and  if  it  is  allowable  to  believe  in  met- 
empsychosis, I  am  quite  sure  that  Fouillac  was  for- 
merly a  dog,  and  it  was  to  recompense  his  fidelity 
that  he  was  changed  into  a  man." 

"  Poor  fellow !  it  would  have  been  much  better 
to  have  left  him  a  dog.  But  I  am  expecting  this 

Vol.  XXI 


274  MADAME  PANTALON 

dear  Fouillac ;  stay  with  me,  what  he  has  to  say 
will  interest  you  equally." 

Fouillac  presented  himself  with  an  almost  mys- 
terious air ;  he  closed  the  door  behind  him,  mur- 
muring,— 

"Mesdames,  I  think  it  needless  that  all  the 
people  who  are  here  should  know  what  I  have  to 
say  to  you,  for  when  money  is  concerned  I  have 
noticed  that  one  is  more  successful  if  one  keeps 
one's  plans  secret.  If  you  tell  everybody  what 
you  want  to  do,  they'll  seize  your  idea  and  pr — 
it  is  let  out." 

"Your  reasoning  is  correct ;  what  you  are  go- 
ing to  say  shall  remain  between  us  three.  We  are 
ready  to  hear  you,  my  dear  Fouillac." 

"  Mesdames,  under  every  circumstance,  see  that 
you  follow  my  reasoning,  in  business,  above  all. 
To  be  successful,  to  make  money,  to  make  a  for- 
tune even,  what  is  necessary  ?  Find  something 
new  that  will  be  useful,  or  economical,  or  agreeable. 
Sometimes  the  most  simple  thing,  to  which  one 
has  perhaps  never  given  a  thought,  will  obtain  an 
enormous  success  and  becomes  the  rage,  then  you 
exploit  this  discovery  and  your  fortune  is  made. 
You  understand  that,  do  you  not  ?  " 

"  One  would  have  to  be  an  idiot  not  to  under- 
stand. But  all  this  does  not  give  us  any  informa- 
tion." 

"  Wait  a  bit,  follow  my  reasoning  still.  The 
only  question  is,  in  order  to  make  a  fortune,  to  find 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK       275 

some  invention,  an  entirely  new  discovery.  You 
will  tell  me  that  is  difficult,  but  chance  will  often 
serve  you,  put  you  in  the  way  to  find  that  vein 
which  should  lead  us  to  a  mine  of  gold  —  " 

"Good  heavens!  M.  Fouillac,  if  you  have 
found  this  vein,  tell  us  all  about  it ;  we  are  pining 
to  know." 

"  I  have  not  found  it  personally,  but  it  comes  to 
the  same  thing ;  that  is  what  I  am  going  to  tell 
you.  I  have  no  need  to  recall  to  you,  mesdames, 
the  success  which  for  a  long  time  past  tobacco 
has  obtained  in  France,  and  year  after  year  this  trade 
is  augmented  so  greatly  that  there  are  times  when 
the  tobacco  merchants  are  short  or  the  cigars  are 
faulty,  the  good  ones,  that  is  ;  one  can  always  find 
enough  bad  ones.'* 

"  But  what  has  tobacco  to  do  with  our  funds  ?  " 

•*  Patience,  we  are  coming  to  it  —  there  is  a  for- 
tune, do  you  hear,  an  immense  fortune  for  anyone 
who  can  manufacture  good  cigars  to  sell  at  a  low 
price !  at  a  low  price  —  that  is  everything.  Well, 
I  have  discovered  a  man,  a  foreigner  from  Baden, 
who  has  found  the  secret.  He  mixes  with  his 
tobacco  the  leaves  of  the  horse-chestnut,  and  they 
render  the  cigar  delicious.  He  has  experimented 
with  it  on  a  small  scale,  and  those  to  whom  he  has 
sold  his  cigars  have  been  delighted  and  asked  him 
vociferously  for  more.  But  our  inventor  lacks 
funds.  Here,  madame,  is  the  thing  for  you  to  take 
up  —  but  on  a  large  scale — a  very  large  scale !  We 


276  MADAME  PANTALON 

must  have  a  great  many  workmen,  we  must  estab- 
lish a  factory,  shops  !  we  must  send  these  cigars  to 
the  four  quarters  of  the  globe,  we  must  oblige  the 
whole  universe  to  smoke.  Glorious !  what  a  fortune 
you  will  make.  Will  you  go  into  it  ?" 

"  Why  not  ?  "  said  Cesarine,  "  if  you  think  it  is 
a  good  thing." 

"  I  will  answer  for  it,  as  if  it  were  my  own." 

"  I'll  put  my  thirty  thousand  francs  into  it,"  said 
Madame  Flambart,  "besides,  I  shan't  be  sorry  to 
make  these  gentlemen  smoke  horse-chestnuts.  Ah, 
how  I  shall  make  game  of  them  later  on." 

"That  is  settled,  M.  Fouillac,  I  return  you  the 
fifty  thousand  francs,  which  I  have  made  up  to  the 
full  amount.  Later  on  we  intend  that  you  shall 
have  your  share  of  the  profits  for  this." 

"  Please,  mesdames,  don't  trouble  yourselves 
about  me.  I  am  only  too  happy  to  occupy  my- 
self for  you." 

"  Do  you  know  where  to  find  your  inventor?" 

"  Yes,  he  has  returned  to  his  country,  but  he  has 
given  me  his  address  and  is  impatiently  expecting 
me  —  for  I  told  him  I  was  going  to  find  him  some 
money.  In  the  morning  I  shall  start  for  Germany. 
Take  my  advice  and  guard  this  secret  carefully, 
even  from  the  captain.  When  I  shall  bring  you 
back  a  million  of  money  you  will  be  free  to  speak." 

"  You  are  right,  we  will  say  nothing.  We  shall 
wait  until  the  business  is  going  well  and  is  bring- 
ing us  profits  before  we  mention  it." 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK      277 

"Start  with  all  speed,  my  dear  Fouillac,  and 
pursue  the  matter  as  if  it  were  your  own." 

The  next  day  Fouillac  left  Bretigny  again,  tak- 
ing with  him  Madame  Pantalon's  fifty  thousand 
francs,  and  the  Widow  Flambart's  thirty  thousand. 

The  "  Ear- Piercer"  being  so  unsatisfactory  from 
a  business  point  of  view,  these  ladies  had  entirely 
renounced  the  trade  of  journalism.  The  life  at  the 
chateau  would  have  appeared  monotonous,  per- 
haps, had  it  not  been  animated  from  time  to  time 
by  differences,  quarrels,  little  coolnesses  which 
arose  between  the  ladies.  Not  a  day  passed  but 
it  was  necessary  for  Madame  Pantalon  to  intervene 
to  establish  peace  among  the  Independents,  none 
of  these  ladies  being  willing  to  yield  to  another  in 
the  slightest  discussion  ;  nor  did  they  admit  Cesar- 
ine's  supreme  power  without  murmuring. 

But  an  unexpected  event  occurred  one  day  which 
afforded  occupation  for  these  ladies.  Aglae,  who 
went  very  often  for  long  country  walks  early  in  the 
morning,  and  who  on  these  occasions  often  met 
Frederic  and  Gustave,  with  whom  she  had  conver- 
sations which  she  was  careful  not  to  report  at  the 
chateau  —  Aglae  came  running  to  the  company 
assembled  for  breakfast,  exclaiming, — 

"  Oh,  mesdames  !  great  news  !  they  are  talking 
of  nothing  else  in  the  village." 

"  What  is  it,  Aglae,  that  they  are  talking  of? " 

"  Of  the  wild  boar." 

"  The  wild  boar  ?  what  wild  boar  ?  " 


278  MADAME  PANTALON 

"  The  one  which  is  in  the  neighboring  wood, 
where  he's  ravaging  everything,  frightening  every- 
one, so  that  nobody  dare  venture  into  the  wood." 

The  captain  drew  himself  up  in  his  armchair 
saying,— 

"  A  wild  boar  in  the  neighboring  wood  —  that 
seems  very  extraordinary  to  me  —  I  have  never 
seen  or  heard  of  a  wild  boar  in  this  neighborhood. 
Where  the  devil  can  this  one  have  come  from  ? " 

"  Why,  the  forest  of  Compiegne,  which  is  not 
very  far  from  here  ?  " 

"  Then  the  wild  boar  must  have  travelled  from 
Compiegne  as  far  as  here  without  having  met  any 
obstacles  or  hindrances  on  the  way.  That  seems 
impossible  of  belief  to  me.  Send  Lundi-Grashere." 

The  former  cabin  boy  arrived,  planted  himself 
before  the  captain,  and  waited. 

"  Lundi-Gras,  have  you  heard  tell  of  a  wild 
boar  which  is  straying  in  the  neighboring  wood  ?  " 

*•  Yes,  captain ;  that  is  to  say,  only  this  moment 
little  Nanon  said  to  her  father, c  Papa,  don't  go  in 
the  wood ;  there's  a  wild  boar  there,  who  will 
attack  you  and  devour  you.' ' 

"  Did  Nanon  say  that  ?  Go  and  bring  her  here." 

Little  Nanon  came,  her  mouth  full  as  usual,  and 
hiding  some  pace  eggs  under  her  apron,  the  cap- 
tain questioned  her, — 

"  Nanon,  you  told  your  father  there  was  a  wild 
boar  in  the  wood  ?  " 

"  Yes,  monsieur  le  capitain." 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK      279 

"  How  did  you  know  that  ?  Have  you  seen  the 
wild  boar?  " 

"  Oh,  no,  I  haven't  seen  him,  but  Madame  Ma- 
tois,  Matois' wife,  said  to  me  this  morning,  she  said, 
'  Little  one,  don't  you  go  idling  in  the  wood,  for  you 
may  be  eaten  by  a  wild  boar  I've  seen  there.  It 
was  an  enormous  beast,  with  a  head  like  an  ele- 
phant's, I  barely  had  time  to  take  to  my  heels  and 
get  away.' ' 

"  The  woman  saw  him  ? " 

"  Yes,  yes,  saw  him,  since  I  tell  you  she  described 
him  to  me,  and  then  later  on  several  of  the  village 
children  came  running  quite  scared  out  of  their 
wits,  saying,  *  There  a  big  beast  in  the  wood  ;  it's 
not  a  wolf,  but  it's  nearly  as  big  as  a  bear.' ' 

"  There,  mesdames,"  said  the  captain, "  it  seems 
you  really  may  hunt  some  big  game.  Ah,  if  I 
could  but  walk  I  would  not  let  such  an  occasion 
of  hunting  something  besides  larks  pass  by." 

"  Rest  assured,  uncle,  we  shall  seize  this  occa- 
sion. A  wild  boar  hunt !  Do  you  hear,  ladies, 
what  a  pleasure  is  offered  you  ?  For  it  pleases  me 
to  think  that  you  won't  refuse  to  come  with  me 
to  hunt  this  wild  boar.  Here  is  an  opportunity 
for  displaying  our  skill,  our  courage.  Come,  mes- 
dames, to  arms,  we  must  get  our  rifles  and  load 
them  with  buckshot.  We  must  use  that,  mustn't 
we,  uncle,  to  kill  a  wild  boar  ?  " 

"  That  is  ordinarily  used  to  shoot  hares  ;  but  I 
think  it  will  be  quite  sufficient  to  fight  your  wild 


280  MADAME  PANTALON 

boar,  which  is  perhaps  only  a  big  dog  that's  got 
lost." 

*•  Oh,  no,  indeed,  master,"  cried  Nanon,  "  Ma- 
dame Matois  said  to  me,  c  It's  a  wild  boar  of  the 
fiercest  kind,  he  has  hair  all  over  him  —  bristles  — 
and  tusks.' ' 

"  So  much  the  better !  we  shall  find  him  good 
eating." 

The  Independents  did  not  appear  as  delighted 
as  was  Cesarine  at  the  hunting  party  that  was  pro- 
posed to  them. 

"I  shall  not  go  with  you,"  said  Elvina;  "I  should 
be  too  much  afraid  of  the  beast  coming  towards  me. 
I  should  be  more  likely  to  fire  into  the  air  than  to 
fire  at  him." 

"  I  don't  think  a  boar  hunt  poetical  enough," 
said  Madame  Etoile.  "  Oh,  if  it  was  a  question  of 
a  roe,  that  would  be  all  well  enough.  A  roe  is  inter- 
esting, a  deer  weeps  when  it  sees  it  is  about  to  be 
taken ;  but  a  wild  boar,  fie !  the  very  odor  of  it  is 
enough." 

"  Well,  I,"  said  Madame  Flambart,  "  I  intend 
to  kill  the  animal  and  bring  his  head  to  the  cap- 
tain !  Captain,  you  hear,  I  promise  you  the  head." 

"  We  will  eat  it  together,  hang  it !  " 

The  other  ladies  also  decided  to  take  part  in  the 
hunt. 

"  Let  us  go  and  get  ready,  mesdames,"  said 
Cesarine.  "  Let  us  see  that  our  weapons  are  well 
loaded,  and  that  we  have  plenty  of  ammunition. 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK       281 

Oh,  I  must  take  my  hunting  horn  with  me.  This 
is  the  time,  if  ever,  to  use  it." 

"And  what  about  dogs  ?"  said  Madame  Duton- 
neau.  "  Are  we  not  to  have  any  dogs  ?  " 

"Faith,  mesdames,"  said  the  captain,  "I  haven't 
hunted  for  a  long  time  past.  I  have  still  two  dogs 
which  were  formerly  very  good;  I  am  afraid  that 
now  they  will  be  rusty.  No  matter.  Lundi-Gras, 
you  will  let  Minos  and  Courtand  loose  to  accom- 
pany these  ladies." 

"  Yes,  captain." 

They  dressed  themselves.  They  put  on  the  cos- 
tume which  was  supposed  to  be  a  uniform ;  each 
one  of  them  took  her  rifle  and  put  in  her  belt  a 
short  poniard-shaped  knife,  which  was  not  a  Toledo 
blade  by  any  means.  Thus  equipped,  the  ladies 
reassembled  in  the  courtyard,  and  the  captain  placed 
himself  in  his  window  that  he  might  review  them. 
Cesarine  had,  in  addition,  a  big  hunting-horn  slung 
to  a  strap  which  passed  over  her  shoulder,  and  an 
old  sabre  of  her  uncle's  hung  at  her  side. 

Lundi-Gras  led  the  two  dogs,  which  had  for- 
merly been  hunters,  but  which  seemed  to  have 
totally  forgotten  their  former  occupation.  One  of 
them,  Minos,  would  not  go  on,  he  had  to  be  pushed 
or  pulled  along,  but  he  lay  down  when  he  had 
taken  a  few  steps.  Courtand  was  more  wakeful, 
he  was  always  frisking;  but  having  been  accustomed 
by  his  master  to  "  look  handsome "  and  stand 
on  his  hind  legs  for  a  piece  of  sugar,  after  capering 


282  MADAME  PANTALON 

about,  he  came  and  placed  himself  in  that  manner 
before  the  huntresses. 

"  Come,  Courtand,  this  is  no  question  of c  look- 
ing handsome  '  to  get  something,"  said  Cesarine, 
"if  you  do  that  before  this  wild  boar  he  won't  give 
you  sugar,  but  he'll  pin  you  with  his  tusks.  Come, 
confound  it !  remember  your  old  trade.  Tally- 
ho  !  tally-ho." 

Courtand  pricked  his  ears  but  still  remained  on 
his  hind  legs.  They  were  obliged  to  give  him  a 
few  strokes  of  the  whip  to  make  him  drop  on  his 
four  feet. 

"  Do  you  want  Lundi-Gras  to  go  with  you  ?  " 
asked  the  captain. 

"No,  uncle,  we  don't  need  him  —  they  would 
only  say  afterwards  that  it  was  he  and  not  us  who 
had  killed  the  wild  boar.  No  man  —  he  would 
spoil  everything ;  we  now  have  an  opportunity  of 
showing  what  we  are  capable  of,  and  we  wish  to 
profit  by  it." 

The  little  troop  set  out  on  its  march  proudly, 
with  heads  in  the  air,  as  though  they  were  march- 
ing to  the  conquest  of  the  world.  The  villagers 
whom  they  met  on  their  way  shouted, — 

"  They  are  going  to  kill  the  wild  boar — bravo  ! " 

"  And  where  is  the  animal  that  you  take  for  a 
wild  boar  about  here  ?  " 

"  It  is,  perhaps,  nothing  but  a  wolf." 

"  Wolf  or  wild  boar,  these  ladies  must  have  a 
good  deal  of  courage." 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK      283 

"  Bah  !  leave  them  alone  for  that,  they  want  to 
see  the  wolf." 

However,  when  they  reached  the  entrance  to  the 
wood,  in  which  the  wild  boar  ought  to  be,  the  ardor 
of  the  Amazons  seemed  somewhat  abated ;  they 
walked  less  quickly  and  after  taking  a  few  steps 
under  the  trees,  Madame  Dutonneau  stopped,  say- 
ing;— 

"  Now,  must  we  not  settle  what  we  are  going  to 

do  ? " 

"  Why,  that  is  all  settled,"  said  Cesarine  ;  "  we 
must  look  for  the  wild  boar.  As  soon  as  we  see 
him  we  must  fire  on  him." 

"  Pardon,  madame,"  said  a  mature  damsel,  "  but 
at  what  part  must  we  aim  to  kill  the  animal  ? " 

"  At  the  head,  of  course." 

"At  the  head,  do  you  think  so?  I  should  have 
thought  at  the  tail." 

"  No,  don't  aim  at  that,  it  would  be  lead  wasted." 

"  But  in  firing  at  the  head,  if  one  were  to  miss, 
he  would  be  furious." 

"And  if  you  shoot  at  his  tail  do  you  suppose  that 
will  please  him  any  more?" 

"  Mesdames,"  said  the  Widow  Flambart,  "shoot 
where  you  like,  the  principal  thing  is  to  hit  him." 

"  Yes,  it  really  matters  little  whether  he's  killed 
by  the  head  or  by  the  tail,  provided  he  be  killed, 
that  is  the  essential  thing." 

Madame  Bouchetrou  started  with  fright  and  re- 
coiled suddenly,  uttering  a  cry;  the  greater  part  of 


284  MADAME  PANTALON 

the  ladies  immediately  got  away  from  her  as  fast  as 
they  could. 

"  What  is  the  matter  with  them,  now,"  de- 
manded Cesarine,  who  had  remained  in  her  place, 
as  well  as  Madame  Flambart. 

"  There  he  is !  there  he  is  —  I  thought  I  saw 
him  moving  in  that  thicket  to  the  left  and  I  im- 
agined I  had  the  wild  boar  on  my  back." 

"If  you  run  away  as  soon  as  you  see  him,  it 
promises  well  for  our  success." 

"  I  shall  not  run  away  when  I  see  him  at  a  dis- 
tance —  a  long  distance  —  but  if  I  perceive  him 
near  me,  do  you  suppose  I  shall  stay  in  my  place 
and  try  to  coax  and  wheedle  ? " 

"  Let  us  advance ;  a  wild  boar  doesn't  keep  in 
the  border  of  a  wood." 

"Walk  carefully,  then  —  " 

"  I  cannot  get  on,  Courtand  keeps  stopping  in 
front  of  me  to  '  look  handsome.'  ' 

"  Kick  him,  why  don't  you  ?  " 

"Oh,  that  would  be  too  bad,  poor  dog !  he  is 
so  nice." 

"And  this  wretched  Minos  doesn't  seem  in- 
clined even  to  walk." 

"  I  have  a  great  mind  to  sound  the  horn,  that 
would  wake  him  up." 

"  Yes,  but  that  might  waken  the  wild  boar  also, 
and  we  want  to  surprise  him  in  his  lair." 

"  Yes,  I  think  we  must  kill  him  only  when  he 
is  asleep." 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK       285 

"  Much  glory  we  should  get  then !  to  kill  an 
animal  while  he  is  sleeping.  Why,  mesdames,  you 
don't  understand  the  pleasures  of  the  chase;  it  is 
the  danger  which  doubles  them,  increases  their 
value." 

"  I  care  much  less  for  glory  than  for  my  face ; 
wild  boars  have  enormous  tusks,  and  I  shouldn't 
care  to  get  them  in  my  face.  I  beg  of  you,  no 
hunting  horn." 

They  walked  for  some  time  in  the  wood  with- 
out perceiving  the  smallest  beast.  Cesarine,  who 
was  tired  of  finding  nothing,  detached  her  horn 
from  her  shoulder,  saying, — 

"  I'm  sorry  to  do  it,  but  I  came  here  to  find  a 
wild  boar,  and  I  wish  to  know  if  some  one  is  mak- 
ing sport  of  me." 

Putting  her  instrument  to  her  mouth,  she  drew 
from  it  piercing  sounds,  which  were  repeated  by 
all  the  echoes  round.  Minos  immediately  began 
to  bark,  Courtand  to  frisk,  then  in  another  moment 
a  very  large  animal  passed,  running  not  twenty  feet 
from  the  company. 

"There  he  is !  there  he  is !  I  have  roused  him  at 
last.  Come,  mesdames,  imitate  me,  we  must  run 
after  him.  Tally-ho!  tally  ho!  Come,  mesdames, 
forward  ! " 

Instead  of  imitating  Madame  Pantalon,  several 
ladies  took  another  way  and  escaped,  saying, — 

"She  did  a  great  thing  in  sounding  her  con- 
founded horn,  she  has  rendered  the  animal  furious." 


286  MADAME  PANTALON 

"  I  have  no  desire  to  get  near  it." 
"  Nor  I,  I  am  too  much  afraid  of  it." 
"  I  should  like  very  much  to  go  in  pursuit  of  it 
and  I've  tried  in  vain  to  make  this  cowardly  Minos 
go  on,  but  he  won't  budge,  and  I  can't  hunt  with- 
out a  dog,  that  will  never  do — it  isn't  good  form." 
But  the  courageous  ladies  had  followed  Cesarine. 
Only,  one  went  one  way,  the  other  another  way. 
Presently  they  heard  shots  from  a  gun  and  ran 
off  uttering  loud   cries,  the  gunshots  frightened 
them.    The  animal  they  were  hunting  passed  quite 
near  them.    Then  when  they  tried  to  run  fast  one 
caught  herself  in  the  brambles  and  fell,  another 
tried  to  climb  a  tree ;  but  the  shots  came  nearer, 
then  there  were  moans  and  groans. 

Olympiade  came  along  holding  her  chin,  she 
had  received  a  buckshot  in  her  face,  while  Madame 
Dutonneau  had  received  one  in  another  place ; 
Madame  Flambart  had  barked  her  nose  on  the 
branch  of  an  oak,  but  Cesarine  sounded  a  fanfare 
and  from  all  sides  they  heard, — 
«  He  is  killed  !  he  is  killed  !  " 
"  We  must  go  and  see  the  wild  boar !" 
"It  was  the  lady  called  Pantalon  who  killed  it." 
Some  peasants  and  children  who  had  been  at- 
tracted to  the  wood  by  the  sound  of  the  horn 
hastened  to  the  place  where  the  animal  which  had 
been  killed  was  lying,  and  beside  which  Madame! 
Pantalon  was  still  standing  as  she  sounded  a  blast. 
Everyone  tried  to  get  nearest  to  the  dead  beast ; 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK      287 

but  soon  shouts  of  laughter  arose  and  the  villagers 
shouted, — 

"  That  a  wild  boar  !  " 

"I  dare  say  !  it's  a  pig." 

"  Why,  yes,  wait —  I  recognize  it  because  he  was 
such  a  fine  one,  it's  Matthieu-Jerome's  fat  porker. 
He  sold  it  a  fortnight  ago  to  a  gentleman  from 
Paris." 

"  The  latter  didn't  take  care  of  it,  I  suppose ; 
he  must  have  lost  it  on  the  way." 

"Yes,  yes,  it  is  Matthieu-Jerome's  pig!" 

"  Oh,  what  a  good  joke  !  " 

"  Yes,  I  should  say  so  !  But  how  came  it  to  be 
said  that  a  wild  boar  was  about  here.  This  is  not 
the  place  for  one." 

Cesarine  said  nothing,  but  she  heard  all  this, 
looked  at  the  animal  she  had  killed  out  of  the 
corner  of  her  eye,  and  was  not  long  in  convincing 
herself  that  the  peasants  had  spoken  correctly. 
The  so-called  wild  boar  was,  in  fact,  nothing  but 
a  very  fat  pig.  She  told  the  peasants  to  make  a 
kind  of  handbarrow  out  of  the  branches,  and  to 
carry  the  spoils  of  the  chase  to  the  chateau.  Later 
she  again  sounded  her  instrument  to  rally  the 
hunters,  or  huntresses  if  you  like  that  better;  as 
for  me  I  like  neither  one  nor  the  other. 

The  return  from  the  hunt  hardly  resembled  the 
departure  ;  nearly  all  the  ladies  were  complaining ; 
one  had  scorched  her  hand  with  her  gun,  another 
had  bumped  her  head  against  a  tree.  The  mature 


288  MADAME  PANTALON 

young  ladies  had  hurt  themselves  with  the  branches 
and  brambles.  Madame  Bouchetrou's  chin  was 
damaged — and  Madame  Dutonneau  had  received 
some  buckshot,  I  need  not  say  where. 

The  captain  laughed  heartily  on  hearing  that  the 
wild  boar  was  nothing  more  nor  less  than  a  big 
pig.  But  Madame  Dutonneau  did  not  laugh. 

"That  horrid  hunt!  that  wretched  hunt!  It  was 
well  worth  our  while  to  put  ourselves  out  like  that 
to  kill  a  pig.  And  then  it  is  very  unfortunate  to 
go  hunting  with  people  who  can't  see  clearly  or 
don't  know  what  they  are  doing.  Someone  fired 
at  me,  and  yet  I  am  not  aware  that  I  look  like  a 
wild  boar.  I  am  wounded,  and  what  will  Chou- 
chou  say  when  he  finds  they  have  damaged  me  ? 
That  will  teach  me  to  leave  a  husband  whose  only 
fault  is  that  he  is  too  handsome.  Tomorrow,  I 
shall  go  back  to  him." 

"  As  you  please,  my  dear  madame,"  said  Cesarine. 
"Everyone  is  free  here." 

"  I  shall  go  also,"  said  Olympiade,  "  I  have  a 
part  of  my  chin  all  bruised,  a  little  more  and  it 
would  have  carried  off  my  jaw.  What  should  I 
have  said  to  Bouchetrou  when  he  asked  me, 
'What  have  you  done  with  your  jaw?'  Poor  dear 
pock-marked  fellow ;  and  I  reproached  him  with 
getting  vaccinated.  Madame  Pantalon,  I  hand  in 
my  resignation  from  the  Independents.  People 
run  too  great  risks  in  your  association." 

"  As  you  like,  madame.     Women  who  change 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK       289 

their  sentiments  because  of  a  mere  scratch  are  not 
worthy  to  be  members." 

The  next  day,  with  Mesdames  Dutonneau  and 
Bouchetrou,  departed  also  the  two  mature  young 
ladies  and  four  others.  There  remained  with 
Madame  Pantalon,  of  her  little  troop  of  Inde- 
pendents, only  her  faithful  Flambart,  the  poetic 
Paolina  and  young  Elvina. 

The  latter,  much  as  she  would  have  liked  to 
leave  the  chateau,  dared  not  say  so ;  she  could  only 
await  her  opportunity;  but  she  did  not  meet  Gus- 
tave  again,  and  feared  he  had  forgotten  her. 

Aglae  said  each  day  to  her  young  mistress, — 

"  Do  you  see,  mademoiselle,  everybody  is  going 
little  by  little.  I  was  quite  sure  that  a  society  com- 
posed only  of  women  would  not  last  long.  You 
must  have  seen  that  those  who  were  here  passed 
nearly  all  their  time  in  bickering  among  themselves. 
Believe,  me,  it  must  soon  be  our  turn  to  go." 

"  Good  heavens !  I  confess  it  would  give  me 
great  pleasure  to  leave  the  chateau ;  but  I  dare  not 
tell  my  sister-in-law  that  I  wish  to  leave  her." 

"  Say  nothing,  but  just  take  yourself  off." 

"  It  is  all  right  for  these  ladies  to  do  that ;  but  it  is 
necessary  that  I  should  have  a  reason,  a  pretext." 

"  Let  us  hope,  mademoiselle,  that  one  will  pre- 
sent itself." 


Vol.  XXI 


CHAPTER  XII 

NEWS  OF  FOUILLAC.     WHERE  WOMAN  ALWAYS 
RETURNS  TO  HER  TRUE  NATURE. 

CESARINE  resolutely  consoled  herself  for  the  fre- 
quent desertions  from  her  little  troop  by  saying  tc 
herself, — 

"  Before  long  I  shall  have  money,  a  good  deal 
of  money.  I  shall  then  put  into  execution  the 
plan  I  have  long  conceived ;  I  shall  buy  a  delight- 
ful estate,  where  all  oppressed  women  may  find 
protection  and  shelter.  Then,  I  need  not  fear  de- 
sertion, I  shall  have  a  crowd  of  followers  flocking 
about  me  —  and  I  shall  make  a  choice  among 
these  new  adherents  to  form  my  administration." 

Madame  Flambart  shared  Madame  Pantalon's 
hopes ;  she  also  spoke  her  word,  rubbing  her  hands 
as  she  did  so, — 

"  Patience !  they  have  left  us,  but  soon  they  will 
be  coming  to  seek  us.  Fortune  always  brings 
friends,  these  ladies  have  left  us  because  we  have 
experienced  a  check  in  our  literary  occupation ; 
they  will  come  running  when  they  learn  that  com- 
merce is  more  favorable  to  us." 

And  as  Paolina  had  not  followed  the  example 
of  the  others,  as  she  had  remained  faithful  to  her 

ago 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK       291 

engagements,  they  did  not  think  it  their  duty  to 
keep  the  tobacco  business  a  secret  from  her.  They 
informed  her  of  the  object  of  Fouillac's  journey, 
what  he  had  gone  to  do  in  Germany,  and  the  im- 
mense fortune  they  could  not  fail  to  realize  from 
manufacturing  cigars  from  horse-chestnut  leaves 
which  would  be  smoked  in  the  four  corners  of  the 
world. 

Madame  Etoile  learned  with  delight  of  the  dis- 
covery of  this  new  kind  of  cigars;  she  immediately 
took  her  pen  in  hand,  she  felt  inspired  and  she 
improvised  the  following  quatrain, — 

Since  succulent  chicory,  that  is  allowed, 
Is  mingled  with  coffee  without  much  ado  ; 

Why  should  not  tobacco  be  frankly  admixed 
With  the  leaves  of  the  horse-chestnut  too  ? 

However,  a  fortnight  passed,  and  they  received 
no  news  of  Fouillac. 

"I  know  very  well,"  said  Cesarine,  "that  he 
cannot  as  yet  have  had  any  results ;  for  before  the 
business  can  be  put  into  operation  he  must  choose 
a  building  in  which  to  establish  the  manipulation 
of  our  new  cigars.  He  must  find  and  engage 
workmen ;  and  all  that  takes  time." 

"  No  doubt,"  responded  the  Widow  Flambart, 
"  but  dear  Fouillac  should,  at  least,  have  written 
to  you,  to  let  you  know  that  he  had  found  his  in- 
ventor and  if  the  matter  was  put  in  train." 

"  Perhaps  he  has  not  had  time  to  write.  To 
set  all  that  going  must  have  afforded  him  ample 


292  MADAME  PANTALON 

occupation.  While  waiting,  mesdames,  do  you 
know  how  I  have  been  employing  myself? " 

"  I  haven't  the  slightest  idea." 

"  Well,  you  know  I  don't  like  to  smoke,  but  to 
get  myself  accustomed  to  cigars,  I've  smoked  two 
or  three  every  morning.  It  makes  me  cough  a 
little,  but  I  shall  end  by  smoking  like  Lundi- 
Gras." 

"And  why  are  you  doing  that,  my  dear?" 

"  Why  in  the  interest  of  our  enterprise.  You 
know,  when  the  business  is  set  going  it  will  be 
necessary  to  give  an  example  by  smoking  our  new 
cigars  and  saying  they  are  perfect." 

"In  fact,  that  is  the  way  to  make  the  value  of 
our  goods  known.  But,  between  ourselves,  what 
if  cigars  made  of  horse-chestnut  leaves  should  be 
bad?" 

"We  will  smoke  others,  true  havanas;  but  we 
will  always  say  they  are  ours,  and  as  they  will  look 
exactly  the  same,  people  will  be  deceived." 

"  Very  well  conceived.  We  will  do  like  you, 
and  smoke  every  day. 

Twelve  days  rolled  by.  They  began  to  be  less 
tranquil :  the  ladies  all  had  sore  throats  from  smok- 
ing so  much.  They  found  the  expense  of  cigars 
to  pass  the  time  considerable.  Cesarine  went  often 
to  caress  her  babe ;  little  Georgette  was  charming, 
and,  although  she  was  only  seventeen  months  old, 
began  to  stammer  the  name  mamma.  Every  time 
the  young  mother  saw  her  daughter  she  was  tempted 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK      293 

to  bring  her  with  her  to  the  chateau,  but  the  nurse 
begged  her  to  leave  the  little  girl  for  a  while  longer, 
saying  to  her, — 

"  You  see,  madame,  how  well  she  is  doing  with 
us ;  and  as  she  is  just  beginning  to  cut  her  double 
teeth,  this  is  hardly  the  time  to  take  her  away. 
Leave  her  to  us  a  little  longer." 

Cesarine  yielded  to  the  nurse's  entreaties,  how- 
ever, she  thought  in  advance  of  the  happiness  that 
would  be  hers  when  her  child  should  be  with  her. 

At  length  a  letter  reached  the  chateau.  They 
ran  towards  Lundi-Gras,  who  held  in  his  hand  the 
missive  the  postman  had  just  brought. 

"  Give  it  me!  give  it  me,  quick!"  said  Cesarine, 
to  the  old  cabin  boy. 

"  Pardon  me,  captain,  but  it's  not  for  you ;  it  is 
for  Mademoiselle  Elvina  Pantalon." 

"  For  my  sister !  and  who  has  dared  to  write  to 
her?" 

So  saying,  Cesarine  snatched  the  missive,  but 
almost  immediately  she  recognized  her  husband's 
handwriting.  Then  she  went  in  search  of  Elvina 
and  gave  her  the  letter,  saying, — 

"Your  brother  has  written  to  you,  see  what  it 
is  he  wants.  I  can't  imagine  what  this  gentleman 
can  have  written." 

Elvina  hurriedly  opened  the  letter  and  read 
aloud, — 

MY  DEAR  LITTLE  SISTER:  —  I  have  been  ill  for  some  days, 
and  obliged  to  keep  my  bed.  It  would  be  very  pleasant  to  me 


294  MADAME  PANTALON 

to  have  near  me  a  friendly  face,  surrounded  as  I  am  by  hirelings 
only.  Is  it  not  possible  for  you  to  come  and  bear  me  company 
for  a  little  while  ?  Is  your  brother  no  longer  your  first  and  best 
friend  ?  I  like  to  think  that  it  is  not  thus,  and  that  you  allow 
yourielf  to  remember  that  you  are  my  sister.  I  shall  expect 

ADOLPHE  PANTALON. 

Elvina  was  quite  moved  on  reading  this  letter. 
She  looked  at  Cesarine,  and  said  in  a  low  tone, — 

"  My  brother  is  ill  —  he  expects  me  —  " 

"  Well,  what  are  you  intending  to  do  ?  " 

"  Why,  I  intend  to  go  to  him,  to  take  care  of 
him.  Will  you  not  accompany  me,  Cesarine  ? 
for,  after  all,  he  is  your  husband.  You  are  will- 
ing to  care  for  strangers,  will  you  not  also  care  for 
him  ? " 

"  Oh,  he  would  never  allow  himself  to  be  tended 
by  me.  He  does  not  believe  me  capable  of  curing 
him.  Besides,  as  you  see,  he  doesn't  mention  me 
in  his  letter.  It's  not  me  he  wants." 

"  He  can't  ask  for  you,  since  you  left  him  of 
your  own  volition.  Well,  will  you  not  come  with 
me,  Cesarine  ? " 

The  young  woman  hesitated  for  a  moment,  then 
she  answered, — 

"  No,  I  shall  not  go." 

"  You  will  not  go  ?  you  will  not  go  and  offer 
to  care  for  your  husband,  who  is  suffering  ? " 

"  My  husband  was  delighted  to  see  me  leave ; 
he  has  said  nothing,  done  nothing,  to  try  to  get  me 
to  go  back." 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK      295 

"  Do  you  want  him  to  crave  your  pardon,  then, 
when  you  quarrelled  with  him  every  day  ? " 

"It  seems  to  me,  little  sister,  that  you  allow 
yourself  to  say  rather  unamiable  things  to  me  ! " 

"  I  tell  you  just  what  I  think.  Would  you  have 
me  flatter  you  ?  lie  to  you  ?  Was  I  not  a  witness 
of  your  tempers,  your  fits  of  anger  ?  and  it  was 
always  when  my  brother  was  right  that  you  tried 
to  quarrel  with  him." 

"  Little  girl,  this  borders  on  impertinence.  I 
forgive  you,  for  you  are  only  a  child,  and  you  do 
not  understand  the  scenes  that  take  place  in  mar- 
ried life,  or  else  you  would  know  that  when  a 
woman  is  in  the  wrong  she  must  shout  the  loudest, 
and  try  to  quarrel  with  her  husband.  All  women 
understand  these  tactics,  and  never  fail  to  use 
them." 

"  I  don't  wish  to  vex  you,  madame.  You  are 
right,  I  am  still  only  a  young  girl,  I  understand 
nothing  of  the  conduct  of  a  married  woman.  All 
I  know  is,  that  when  one  is  wrong  it  is  very  ridicu- 
lous to  wish  to  be  in  the  right.  For  the  last  time, 
will  you  come  back  to  Adolphe  ? " 

"  No,  I  will  not." 

"In  that  case  I  shall  go  without  you.  May  I 
take  Aglae  ? " 

"No,  I  cannot  get  on  without  my  maid;  but 
Lundi-Gras  can  take  you  as  far  as  the  station. 
Then  the  journey  isn't  long,  you  will  soon  be  in 
Paris.  You  will  return  later,  I  hope  ? " 


296  MADAME  PANTALON 

"  When  my  brother  is  quite  well  again,  when  my 
presence  is  no  longer  necessary  to  him,  I  shall 
come  back,  if  he  does  not  ask  me  to  stay  with  him." 

"Just  as  you  please  !  a  pleasant  journey  to  you." 

Elvina  hurriedly  made  the  preparations  for  her 
departure,  and  later  went  to  say  good-by  to  the 
captain,  who  said  to  her, — 

"  Go,  my  dear  little  girl,  return  to  your  brother; 
I  begin  to  think  that  all  my  niece's  fine  plans  are 
soap  bubbles,  which  at  a  breath  will  dissolve  and 
vanish.  To  wish  to  change  the  world  is  like  try- 
ing to  wash  a  negro  white.  One  may  change  man- 
ners, customs,  and  language,  but  there  will  always 
be  the  same  passions,  the  same  vices,  the  same 
foibles  —  we  must,  therefore,  resign  ourselves  to 
take  it  as  it  is." 

Aglae  was  in  despair  at  seeing  Elvina  leave  with- 
out her  ;  she  absolutely  insisted  on  accompanying 
her;  but  Elvina  reminded  her  that  she  was  in 
Madame  Pantalon's  service.  The  young  lady's 
maid  could  only  find  consolation  in  saying, — 

"  When  all  these  ladies  are  gone,  and  there  are 
but  two  who  are  inclined  to  stay,  I  hope  that  mis- 
tress will  not  remain  alone  with  the  captain  and  the 
old  cabin  boy.  A  chateau,  mademoiselle,  is  nice 
when  there  are  a  good  many  people  in  it;  but  when 
they  are  scarce,  I'd  rather  be  in  the  Passage  des 
Panoramas  in  Paris." 

Young  Elvina's  departure  contributed  not  a  little 
to  the  melancholy  of  the  life  within  the  chateau. 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK      297 

Madame  fitoile,  who  was  incessantly  buried  in  her 
poetry,  went  to  dream  alone  under  the  trees  ;  the 
captain  was  suffering  with  his  gout;  Lundi-Gras 
was  getting  tipsy ;  the  gardener  was  sleeping;  Nanon 
was  stuffing  herself  with  nourishment ;  the  cook 
was  getting  rusty;  andCesarineand  Madame  Flam- 
bart,  unable  to  comprehend  Fouillac's  silence,  be- 
gan to  fear  for  their  money  and  to  smoke  fewer 
cigars.  Cesarine,  unable  to  contain  herself  longer, 
went  one  morning  to  her  uncle  and  said  to  him, — 

"My  dear  uncle,  I  am  in  great  trouble  about 
M.  Fouillac." 

"  But  why  are  you  in  trouble  about  him  ?  A 
bachelor  like  Fouillac  can't  pass  all  his  time  here. 
He's  gone  to  Paris,  he's  amusing  himself!  " 

"  But  you  are  not  aware  that  I  entrusted  some 
money  to  him  —  a  large  amount  of  money,  and 
Madame  Flambart,  also." 

"  You  confided  money  to  Fouillac  ?  What  for  ?  " 

"  For  an  enterprise  that  will  bring  us  in  millions. 
An  individual  has  found  a  way  to  make  excellent 
cigars  with  horse-chestnut  leaves." 

"  Tobacco  with  horse-chestnut  leaves,  what  kind 
of  rigmarole  are  you  telling  me  now  ?  " 

"  I  repeat  to  you  what  M.  Fouillac  told  me  ; 
the  cigars  have  had  a  great  success ;  there  is  an 
immense  demand  for  them,  because  they  can  sell 
them  at  a  low  price.  It  is  a  discovery  which  must 
enrich  those  who  know  how  to  exploit  it  properly." 

"  And  you  believed  that,  did  you  ?  " 


298  MADAME  PANTALON 

"  So  firmly  did  I  believe  it,  that  I  entrusted 
Fouillacwith  fifty  thousand  francs;  Madame  Flam- 
bart  confided  thirty  thousand  to  him  to  set  the 
thing  going." 

"  If  you  had  consulted  me,  you  would  not  have 
given  Fouillac  a  sou." 

"  How  is  that,  uncle  ?  Do  you  doubt  his  probity  ? " 

"  His  probity  —  not  altogether,  but  Fouillac  is 
a  gambler." 

"  He  hasn't  played  for  a  long  time  now." 

"  Because  he  was  entirely  without  money.  But, 
having  this  large  sum  in  his  hands,  don't  you  sup- 
pose he  has  succumbed  to  temptation  ?  Have  you 
his  address  ? " 

"  No,  he  was  to  have  written  to  us." 

"Well,  that's  clever!  Then,  you  must  wait ;  but 
I  have  no  confidence  in  your  cigars  made  of  horse- 
chestnut  leaves.  I  repeat  to  you,  I  am  very  much 
afraid  you  are  done." 

Four  days  after  this  conversation  a  letter  dated 
from  Baden  reached  the  chateau.  It  was  addressed 
to  Madame  Pantalon,  who  quickly  looked  at  the 
signature  and  exclaimed, — 

"  It  is  from  Fouillac  !  " 

"  At  last,"  said  Madame  Flambart,  "  the  dear 
fellow !  I  am  quite  sure  we  were  wrong  to  make  our- 
selves uneasy.  Read  it  quick !  we  are  listening." 

"  I  feel  afraid  to  read  it,"  said  Cesarine. 

"  The  idea !  you  who  are  so  courageous,  so  strong- 
minded  !  " 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK      299 

"It  has  passed  now —  it  was  but  a  momentary 
feeling  —  listen, — 

DEAR  AND  HONORED  MADAME  PANTALON: — lam  very  tardy 
in  sending  you  news  of  myself,  am  I  not  ?  and  you  are  perhaps 
already  accusing  me  of  negligence  —  no,  I  have  not  been  negli- 
gent ;  but  it  is  because  I  have  nothing  very  agreeable  to  tell  you, 
that  I  said  to  myself,  « These  ladies  will  know  it  soon  enough. '  ' ' 

"  What  does  that  mean  ? " 
"  Why  this  long  preamble  ?  " 
"  The  horse-chestnut  leaves  have  not  been  a 
success."  > 

"  Hush,  mesdames,  let  me  continue  — 

will  know  it  soon  enough.'  More  than  once  it  has  occurred  to 
me  never  to  send  you  any  word  of  myself;  but,  I  thought,  '  They 
will  keep  on  expecting  to  hear  and  that  will  be  very  unpleasant 
for  them.'" 

"  Good  heavens,  what  is  he  going  to  say  ?  " 
"  Silence,  Madame  Flambart,  let  me  go  on— 

You  must  know,  then,  mesdames,  that  the  story  of  the  horse- 
chestnut  leaves  was  entirely  of  my  own  invention. 

"  Why  the  rascal !  the  scoundrel ! 

When  I  found  myself  in  possession  of  the  eighty  thousand  francs 
which  you  had  ordered  me  to  draw,  I  was  tempted,  not  to  appro- 
priate them,  of  that  I  am  incapable,  but  to  double  them,  to  triple 
them  even,  with  a  combination  that  I  had  invented  a  short  time 
before,  but  which  I  could  not  put  into  execution  for  lack  of  funds." 

"  He's  gambled  with  our  money,  the  wretch  !  " 
"  Let  me  finish  — 

for  lack  of  funds.  I  said  to  myself,  '  How  sweet  it  will  be  to 
win  a  large  sum  for  these  ladies  who  have  been  so  good  to  me  ! ' 


300  MADAME  PANTALON 

But  if  I  had  said  to  you,  '  Entrust  your  money  to  me,  that  I  may 
play  my  martingale,'  you  would  probably  have  refused  me;  that 
is  why  I  invented  this  little  history  of  artificial  tobacco  that  you 
were  kind  enough  to  believe.  Alas,  mesdames,  something  never 
seen  before  —  twenty-two  rouges  in  succession  - —  that  is  what 
upset  all  my  calculations.  I  have  lost  your  eighty  thousand  francs, 
and  just  see  my  luck  !  if  I  had  had  twenty  thousand  francs  more 
the  luck  would  have  turned,  and  I  should  have  won  it  all  back 
—  I  remain  at  Baden,  awaiting  your  answer ;  if  you  wish  to  send 
me  new  funds,  I  am  positively  certain  we  shall  take  a  fine  revenge. 
Yours  very  devotedly, 

FOUILLAC." 

This  letter  fell  from  Cesarine's  hands,  she  was 
silent,  overwhelmed  by  what  she  had  learned.  It 
was  different  with  the  Widow  Flamhart,  who  broke 
forth  into  complaints,  reproaches,  vociferations. 
She  stalked  about  the  drawing-room  exclaiming, — 

"  It's  shocking !  This  man  has  robbed  me  ! — 
robbed  is  the  only  name  for  it — of  thirty  thousand 
francs !  the  fourth  of  my  modest  competence. 
What  shall  I  do  now  with  four  thousand  francs 
less  of  income?  Can  I  have  fresh  bonnets  on  that? 
Madame  Pantalon,  you  are  the  cause  of  my  ruin, 
of  the  loss  I  experience  at  this  moment!" 

"  I,  madame,  and  how  am  I  the  cause  of  it  ? 
Why,  did  I  advise  you  to  confide  your  money 
to  M.  Fouillac?" 

"  No,  you  did  not  advise  me,  but  you  confided 
fifty  thousand  francs  to  him  yourself.  That  was 
as  good  as  saying  to  me, f  That  is  an  honest  man.' 
Then  I  naturally  followed  your  example  and  now 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK       301 

I've  lost  it.  You  can  laugh  at  it,  can't  you  ?  Your 
uncle  is  very  rich  and  will  indemnify  you  for  this 
loss.  But  I  have  no  uncle  to  give  me  back  my 
poor  money.  Ah,  why  did  I  follow  you  to  this 
cursed  chateau,  where  they  do  nothing  but  foolish- 
ness? " 

"  Madame,  spare  your  expressions  !  " 

"No,  I  shan't  spare  them ;  I  repeat  what  I  said 
before.  They  do  nothing  here  but  foolishness, 
your  uniform,  your  journal,  your  cooking,  your 
boat,  your  wild  boar  that  was  only  a  pig,  on  ac- 
count of  which  I  still  have  a  grazed  nose,  are  all 
foolishness,  blunders,  gross  blunders.  But  the  last 
is  too  much,  it  fills  the  measure  to  overflowing  — 
thirty  thousand  francs  lost !  that  is  to  say,  I  have 
been  swindled  out  of  it — no,  robbed  of  it !  Good- 
by,  Madame  Pantalon,  I  leave  you  and  your 
chateau,  with  the  most  profound  regret  that  I  ever 
accompanied  you  to  it!" 

Madame  Flambart  departed  with  flying  colors, 
and  Cesarine  went  to  show  her  uncle  the  letter  she 
had  received  from  Fouillac.  The  captain,  when 
he  had  read  it,  said,  — 

"  I  expected  it  would  be  thus.  My  darling,  the 
proverbs  are  always  right,  c  He  who  has  drunk, 
will  drink ;  he  who  has  gambled,  will  gamble.' 
But  never  mind,  I  have  some  savings,  I  will  repair 
the  misfortune  that  has  overtaken  you.  That  fool 
of  a  Fouillac !  instead  of  searching  for  a  martin- 
gale, that  he  might  win  at  roulette,  he  had  much 


302  MADAME  PANTALON 

better  have  sought  a  remedy  for  the  gout.  That 
would  have  brought  him  in  a  fortune,  that  would." 

Madame  Etoile,  on  learning  the  disastrous  out- 
come of  the  tobacco  affair,  put  her  quatrain  back 
in  her  portfolio,  saying, — 

"  No  one  knows ;  what  fails  today  may  be  suc- 
cessful later  on.  Steam  was  not  appreciated  all 
at  once ;  I  have  great  confidence  in  the  horse- 
chestnut  leaves  myself.  I  shall  dry  some  of  them 
and  roll  them  and  make  cigars  of  them,  which  I 
shall  try  to  get  my  husband  to  smoke.  For,  in 
fact,  as  there  is  no  one  but  Madame  Pantalon  here 
to  listen  to  my  verses — and  she  is  a  very  bad 
listener,  I  shall  go  back  to  Etoile,  who,  no  doubt, 
is  dying  to  see  me!" 

The  next  day  Paolina  had  followed  Madame 
Flambart,  and  Cesarine  was  abandoned  by  all  the 
Independents. 

To  console  herself  and  forget  the  successive 
defeats  that  had  overtaken  her,  Cesarine  went  every 
day  to  kiss  her  daughter, whom  she  loved  tenderly; 
for  it  is  quite  necessary  to  a  woman  to  love  some- 
thing, and  usually  it  is  her  children  who  stand 
before  all. 

But  the  captain  had  had  an  access  of  gout  more 
pronounced  than  any  of  the  preceding  ones,  and 
for  two  days  Cesarine  had  not  left  her  uncle,  whose 
sufferings  she  tried  to  soften,  and  for  whom  she 
was  incessantly  inventing  new  remedies  which  did 
not  help  him  at  all. 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK       303 

Three  days  later  one  of  the  nurse's  children 
came  to  the  chateau  to  say  to  Madame  Pantalon, — 

"  Madame,  mamma  begs  you  will  come  and  see 
your  little  Georgette,  who  is  rather  poorly." 

"  My  child  is  ill ! "  cried  Cesarine,  "  and  how 
long  has  she  been  so  ?  " 

"  Since  the  day  before  yesterday." 

"  And  why  did  you  not  come  immediately  and 
tell  me  ? " 

"  Oh,  madame,  mamma  thought  it  was  nothing 
much,  just  a  cold — a  heavy  cold." 

"  No  matter,  she  should  have  sent  to  me.  I 
will  follow  you,  little  one.  Go,  I  shall  be  at  your 
mother's  immediately,  perhaps  even  before  you." 

In  fact,  Cesarine  had  her  horse  saddled. 

"  Do  you  wish  me  to  follow  you,  madame?" 
asked  Aglae,  who  sought  every  occasion  to  go  out; 
"  I  can  ride  on  horseback  very  well  now,  and  I  am 
so  sure  of  my  seat  that  I  can  gallop  like  madame." 

"  Well,  come ;  if  it  is  necessary  to  get  some 
medicine  at  the  town  I  can  send  you  there." 

"  I  should  like  nothing  better,  madame ;  I  can 
go  now  at  a  gallop  or  at  a  fast  trot;  I'm  no  longer 
afraid  of  falling." 

"Who,  then,  has  taught  you  to  sit  your  horse  so 
well?" 

"  Madame,  it  was  watching  you." 

They  started  at  a  gallop,  and  were  soon  at  the 
nurse's.  Cesarine  entered  quickly;  she  perceived 
her  daughter,  whom  the  nurse  was  teaching  to 


304  MADAME  PANTALON 

walk.  Little  Georgette,  who  already  knew  her 
mother  quite  well,  smiled  at  her  and  held  out  her 
arms. 

"  She  is  up,  she's  walking ;  why,  this  is  nothing," 
said  Cesarine,  taking  the  child  on  her  knees. 

"  Of  course,  it  is  nothing,  madame,"  said  the 
nurse,  "that  is  why  I  did  not  want  to  disturb  you; 
she  is  hoarse,  that  is  all.  But  there  are  some  peo- 
ple who  get  hoarse  for  a  mere  nothing ;  for  in- 
stance, my  man  is  always  hoarse  in  the  evening 
when  he  comes  home,  but  it  is  true  that  then  he 
has  always  drunk  a  drop  too  much." 

"Speak  to  me,  Georgette;  do  you  love  me?" 

The  child  said,  "  Yes,  mamma,"  but  it  was  not 
in  her  usual  voice,  it  was  a  raucous,  cavernous  sound 
which  was  not  pleasant  to  hear.  Cesarine  was 
seized  with  consternation. 

"My  God!  what  a  voice,"  she  cried.  "Is  my 
daughter  going  to  have  the  croup  ?  " 

"  The  croup !  the  idea  ?  there's  no  danger  of 
that!  If  she  had  the  croup  she'd  be  dead  now. 
You  know  very  well,  madame,  that  that  is  a  disease 
which  carries  one  off  in  twenty-four  hours." 

"Can  she  eat?  does  she  swallow  easily?" 

"  I  can  answer  for  it  she  does  ;  she  has  just  swal- 
lowed a  good  bowl  of  pap  with  sugar  in  it  without 
making  a  grimace.  And,  then,  see  how  merry  she 
is ;  she's  playing  just  as  usual." 

"  In  fact,  you  reassure  me  ?  What  if  I  should 
take  her  with  me?" 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK      305 

"  Oh,  madame,  be  careful !  The  change  of  air 
—  she  has  a  trifle  of  fever.  You  know  how  much 
care  we  take  of  her.  We  will  not  leave  her,  and 
she  loves  to  play  with  my  children." 

"  Yes,  yes,  that  is  right.  I'll  leave  her  with  you 
still.  Besides,  I  shall  come  and  see  her  every  day. 
Wait,  nurse,  here  are  some  herbs  that  I  have 
brought;  make  a  tea  with  those  and  give  my 
daughter  some  to  drink,  quite  warm." 

"You  may  be  quite  easy,  madame.  Your 
daughter  is  better  cared  for  than  if  she  was  one  of 
my  own." 

Cesarine  passed  more  than  an  hour  with  little 
Georgette ;  she  left  her  quite  reassured,  because  the 
child  coughed  little  and  did  not  seem  to  suffer. 

Mademoiselle  Aglae,  while  trotting  behind  her 
mistress,  kept  looking  from  right  to  left,  in  the 
hope  of  seeing  one  of  the  gentlemen  from  Paris 
whom  she  often  met  in  the  country,  but  she  saw 
neither  of  them,  and  said  to  herself, — 

"  Good  heavens  !  have  they  also  gone ;  but  that 
is  impossible.  M.  La  Brie  still  had  a  great  many 
things  to  say  to  me.  He  is  witty,  this  M.  La  Brie, 
and  he  can  change  himself,  disguise  himself  so  that 
one  would  not  recognize  him.  If  he  had  not  told 
me,  I  should  never  have  guessed  that  it  was  he 
who  came  to  the  chateau  disguised  as  a  sick  man." 

Three  days  elapsed,  and  Cesarine  had  not  al- 
lowed one  to  pass  without  going  to  the  nurse's. 
Little  Georgette  still  played  about  and  swallowed 

Vol.  XXI 


306  MADAME  PANTALON 

without  difficulty  ;  she  was  not  depressed ;  how- 
ever, her  voice  did  not  come  back ;  it  was  raucous, 
hoarse,  no  longer  the  voice  of  a  child.  Madame 
Pantalon  had  changed  her  prescription,  she  also 
tried  many  pectoral  lozenges ;  but  there  was  no 
change,  except  that  the  voice  became  more  hollow. 

On  the  fourth  day  Cesarine,  who  on  the  even- 
ing before  had  thought  her  baby  more  uneasy,  went 
to  the  nurse's  very  early  in  the  morning.  She 
found  the  good  woman  in  tears,  the  whole  house 
in  grief,  for  little  Georgette  was  very  ill.  She 
breathed  with  difficulty,  her  little  heart  beat  fast, 
she  could  only  just  speak,  but  she  smiled  when  she 
saw  her  mother  and  the  latter  took  the  child  in 
her  arms,  exclaiming, — 

"  Good  God !  what  has  happened  to  her  ?  " 

"  Nothing  has  happened,  madame,  but  in  the 
night  the  poor  little  thing  turned  like  this." 

"  Why,  she  looks  as  if  she  were  going  to  die. 
Dear  child,  where  have  you  any  pain  ? " 

The  little  girl  pointed  to  her  throat.  "  That  is 
what  frightens  me,"  said  the  nurse,  "because  a 
neighbor  tells  me  that  there  is  a  kind  of  croup  that 
lasts  longer  than  twenty -four  hours  —  which  is 
sometimes  a  week  in  forming." 

"  Oh,  good  God !  why,  my  daughter  is  lost,  then. 
A  doctor !  where  is  there  a  doctor  ?  " 

"At  Noyon.  Doctor  Durand.  I  don't  know 
of  any  others." 

"Aglae,  run,  take  my  horse,  with  yours,  and 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK      307 

bring  a  doctor.  Go ;  don't  spare  the  horses,  but 
hurry  !  my  child  seems  very  ill." 

Aglae  left.  Cesarine  held  her  daughter  in  her 
arms  and  saw  with  terror  that  the  child's  breathing 
became  more  difficult,  more  oppressed.  An  hour 
and  a  half  passed  ;  the  time  seemed  eternal  to  the 
poor  mother.  At  last  Aglae  returned,  but  she  was 
alone. 

"  And  the  doctor  ?  "  cried  Cesarine. 

"  He  has  gone  to  Compeigne." 

"  But  are  there  no  others  ?  " 

"  It  was  impossible  for  me  to  bring  a  single  one. 
They  had  not  breakfasted  or  could  not  ride  a 
horse." 

"  Good  heavens  !  but  my  child  will  die  without 
help.  I  will  run,  throw  myself  at  their  feet  if  it  is 
necessary." 

At  this  moment  the  room  door  opened  and 
Frederic  Duvassel  appeared.  He  at  once  went  up 
to  Cesarine,  and  said  to  her, — 

"  Madame,  I  learned  just  this  moment  that  your 
little  girl  is  ill  —  very  ill ;  will  you  allow  me  to 
treat  her?" 

"Oh,  monsieur,  heaven  has  sent  you  !  If  you 
save  my  child  I  shall  owe  you  more  than  life.  But 
she  is  very  ill.  Look !  here  she  is,  the  darling 
child." 

Frederic  examined  little  Georgette  and  said 
immediately, — 

"  This  is  croup  —  a  latent  croup  which  takes  a 


308  MADAME  PANTALON 

week  to  develop  unless  it  is  arrested  at  its  incep- 
tion." 

"  She  is  lost,  then,  monsieur  ? " 

"  Not  yet,  but  it  was  time  something  should  be 
done;  this  evening  it  would  have  been  too  late. 
Trust  to  me,  madame,  in  my  travels  I  have  studied 
this  horrible  malady.  Have  confidence,  and  let  me 
act —  I  hope  still  to  save  your  child." 

Cesarine  lacked  strength  to  speak.  Frederic 
seized  the  child,  placed  it  on  a  bed,  then  took  out 
the  instruments  from  his  pockets.  The  poor  mother 
uttered  an  exclamation. 

"  Fear  nothing,  madame,  I  shall  not  hurt  her," 
said  Frederic ;  "besides,  it  is  necessary  in  order  to 
save  her." 

With  a  surgeon's  practised  hand  he  cut  the  child's 
tonsils,  then  he  introduced  into  the  throat  a  long 
instrument  with  which  he  detached  and  drew  away 
the  whitish  membranes  which  intercepted  the  breath 
of  the  sick  child.  Little  Georgette  bore  this  opera- 
tion perfectly.  They  saw  her,  after  a  moment, 
breathe  freely,  strongly. 

Then  Frederic  called  the  mother  back  and  said 
to  her, — 

"  Your  daughter  is  saved,  I  will  answer  for  her 
now." 

This  time  Cesarine  could  contain  herself  no 
longer,  she  took  Frederic  in  her  arms,  and  with 
tears  flowing  down  her  cheeks,  said  to  him, — 

"  You  have  restored  my  daughter  to  me,  mon- 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK       309 

sieur;  I  owe  you  more  than  life  itself.  And  I  have 
always  been  so  unjust  towards  you;  how  can  I  ever 
return  what  you  have  done  for  me  ?  " 

"  What  can  you  give  me  in  return  ?  "  said  Fred- 
eric smiling.  "  Well,  I  will  tell  you,  and  it  will  be 
extremely  easy  for  you  to  do." 

"  My  poor  little  Georgette,  you  are  saved ! " 

"  Yes,  but  she  must  be  kept  very  quiet  today, 
I  have  still  some  remnants  of  the  membranes  to 
take  from  her  throat,  but  that  will  be  nothing." 

"And  it  will  not  re-form,  monsieur?" 

"  No,  you  need  have  no  fear  on  that  score ; 
besides,  I  shall  stay  here  by  your  child,  and  in  three 
days  at  the  latest  I  want  you  to  take  her  with  you." 

"  Oh,  monsieur,  how  good  you  are.  You  con- 
sent to  stay  in  the  village  until  my  child  is  com- 
pletely cured  ? " 

"  I  promise  to  do  so." 

"  What  do  I  not  owe  you  ?  and  how  I  have  mis- 
understood you,  monsieur,  for  which  you  must 
detest  me ;  I  have  always  been  so  unamiable  to 
you." 

"  Pretty  women  are  sometimes  capricious,  and 
take  antipathies  ;  I  assure  you  I  do  not  detest  you 
for  that.  Besides,  you  are  my  best  friend's  wife, 
and  it  would  have  been  sweet  to  me  to  obtain  your 
friendship  also." 

"  I  don't  wish  to  leave  my  child  today  ;  you  will 
permit  me  to  stay,  will  you  not  ? " 

"  You  have  the  right  to  do  so,  madame ;  a  mother's 


3 io  MADAME  PANTALON 

place  is  always  beside  her  child's  cradle.  Only,  do 
not  kiss  her  too  much,  let  her  sleep.  You  will  see 
that  now  her  chest  is  not  oppressed  her  sleep  will 
be  sweet." 

"Aglae,  run  to  the  chateau,  tell  my  uncle  that 
my  daughter  is  saved,  thanks  to  M.  Frederic  Du- 
vassel." 

"  I  think  the  captain  will  hardly  remember  me." 

"  But  I  sincerely  hope  that  you  will  not  leave 
without  coming  to  see  my  uncle." 

"  Be  easy  as  to  that,  madame,  I  have  not  yet 
finished  that  which  brought  me  to  the  country." 

Frederic  kept  his  promise ;  at  the  end  of  three 
days  little  Georgette  was  about  again,  and  the  dread- 
ful voice  had  disappeared ;  the  sweet  flute-like 
tones  of  the  child  charmed  the  mother's  ear  anew. 
This  time  Cesarine  carried  her  daughter  to  the 
chateau ;  she  would  be  separated  from  her  no 
longer. 

She  begged  Frederic  to  accompany  her  ;  the  lat- 
ter consented  and  went  to  shake  hands  with  the  old 
captain,  who  said  to  him, — 

"  Why,  I  recognize  you.  You  were  at  my  niece's 
wedding  ball." 

"Yes,  captain,  it  was  I  who  prevented  the  groom 
from  waltzing  with  Madame  Boulard." 

Cesarine  smiled  and  said, — 

"  Let  us  forget  that,  doctor  !  but  what  I  shall 
not  learn  to  forget  is  that  I  owe  my  daughter's 
existence  to  you.  You  told  me  that  it  would  be 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK      311 

easy  for  me  to  prove  my  gratitude  to  you.  Pray 
tell  me  how  I  may  do  so." 

"  Can  you  not  guess,  madame  ?  " 

Cesarine  hesitated,  reddened,  and  at  last  an- 
swered,— 

"I  may  be  mistaken,  doctor,  I  prefer  that  you 
should  tell  me  yourself  in  what  manner  I  can  recog- 
nize what  you  have  done." 

"  Well,  it  is  that  you  will  let  me  take  you  to 
Paris,  to  your  husband,  whose  arms  will  be  open 
to  receive  you.  I  assure  you,  he  will  be  pleased 
to  see  you.  His  health  is  re-established,  your  pres- 
ence will  further  renew  it.  Your  separation  was 
not  serious,  it  was  a  freak  on  one  side  and  vexa- 
tion on  the  other.  Come  and  restore  a  child  to  its 
father,  a  wife  to  her  husband  ;  hereafter,  I  have  no 
doubt,  you  will  all  be  happy." 

Cesarine  held  out  her  hand  to  Frederic,  saying 
to  him, — 

"  You  have  acquired  the  right  to  make  me  do 
all  that  you  wish." 

"  Believe  me,  you  will  not  repent  it." 

"  Uncle,  monsieur  begs  me  to  return  to  my 
husband." 

"  He  is  right,  and  you  will  do  well  to  do  so,  my 
niece.  The  comedies  always  end  like  that.  After 
all,  you  have  nogravewrongs  with  which  to  reproach 
yourself;  there  was  nothing  there  but  incompati- 
bility of  temper.  Well,  directly  the  tempers  change 
there  is  no  longer  any  incompatibility." 


312  MADAME  PANTALON 

However,  Cesarine  drew  near  to  Frederic  and 
said  to  him,  no  longer  in  the  hard  overbearing 
tone  she  had  formerly  affected,  but  in  those  soft, 
insinuating  accents  which  accorded  so  well  with 
her  sex, — 

"You  would  like  to  take  me  to  my  husband? " 

"Yes,  and  you  have  consented  to  that.  Are 
you  repenting  already?" 

"Oh,  no,  it  is  a  happiness  for  me  to  be  able  to 
prove  my  gratitude  to  you,  by  doing  what  you  ask 
of  me;  only  —  " 

"Only?  Finish—" 

"You  think  that  my  husband  will  receive  me 
well;  but  you  may  be  mistaken — for  I  confess  I 
have  behaved  wickedly  to  him." 

"  The  moment  you  confess  it,  the  wrong  will  be 
annulled." 

"  Really  ?  All  the  same  I  am  not  persuaded  that 
my  husband  will  be  delighted  to  see  me." 

"  And  I  can  assure  you  that  he  will ;  I  know 
Adolphe,  he  has  an  excellent  heart,  you  confess 
you  have  been  wrong,  he  is  incapable  of  bearing 
rancor." 

"Oh,  wait!  M.  Duvassel,  there  is  something 
painful  to  my  self-love  in  thus  going  back  to  my 
home,  especially  if  my  husband  is  forewarned;  if 
he  should  not  come  to  meet  me,  I  could  not  go 
in.  We  must  find  a  way  —  nothing  must  be  said 
to  him  beforehand — do  you  understand." 

"  Perfectly.    Leave  it  to  me !   I  shall  act  accord- 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK      313 

ingly,  for  I  have  means  of  knowing  what  goes  on 
there ;  but  let  us  start  as  quickly  as  possible ;  I  am 
in  haste  to  finish  my  work." 

Cesarine  employed  herself  in  preparing  for  her 
departure,  asking  only  one  day  in  order  to  pack  all 
her  belongings.  Frederic  agreed  to  this  and  passed 
the  night  at  the  chateau.  The  captain  was  very 
pleased  with  him,  because  he  drank  stoutly  and 
did  not  forbid  his  host  to  do  the  same. 

"Is  that  how  you  treat  the  gout  ?  "  said  the  old 
seaman.  "  Good  enough !  I  shall  take  you  for  my 
doctor." 

"Captain,  you  must  go  to  excess  in  nothing, 
that  is  my  only  prescription  for  that  obstinate 
malady.  Why,  as  for  that,  live  as  you  ordinarily 
do,  deprive  yourself  of  nothing  that  pleases  you ; 
for  I  have  noticed  one  thing,  the  gout  is  never  put 
to  flight  by  any  privation.  Purge  yourself,  drink 
herb  tea,  stay  in  a  corner  of  your  fireside,  and  the 
gout  will  come  and  find  you  there ;  it  cannot  do 
worse  when  you  go  your  own  gait." 

The  next  day  Cesarine  said  good-by  to  her 
uncle,  who  said  to  her, — 

"I  hope  to  see  you  back  here  shortly,  with  your 
husband;  I  will  not  receive  you  again  without 
him ;  for  with  all  those  conventions,  those  secret 
meetings  of  women,  you  have  made  a  good  deal 
of  noise  and  done  some  mighty  poor  business ;  in 
fact,  you  made  me  eat  Lundi-Gras'  cooking,  and  I 
won't  let  you  try  to  make  a  cook  of  him  again." 


3i4  MADAME  PANTALON 

They  reached  Paris.  Cesarine,  with  her  baby 
and  her  maid,  went  to  Frederic  Duvassel's,  where 
they  were  to  wait  his  choice  of  a  propitious  mo- 
ment to  bring  the  wandering  sheep  to  her  fold. 
The  doctor  was  not  long  absent,  and  came  back  to 
say  to  the  young  mother, — 

"  Come,  the  moment  is  favorable ;  your  hus- 
band is  at  the  Palais,  his  servant  has  gone  on  some 
errands,  and  Adolphe's  sister  is  alone.  I  have  an- 
nounced your  return  to  her,  at  which  she  evinced 
the  greatest  delight ;  for  she  knows  well  that  your 
presence  will  further  establish  her  brother's  health 
and  bring  back  happiness  to  the  household.  Yes, 
come,  your  room  is  ready  ;  go  and  instal  yourself 
there  with  your  little  Georgette,  and  when  he  comes 
home  and  finds  his  wife  there,  your  husband  will 
not  believe  that  she  has  ever  left  him." 

Cesarine  did  all  Frederic  told  her ;  a  carriage 
took  her  to  her  home,  and  her  heart  beat  quickly 
as  she  saw  her  house ;  her  emotion  was  keen  when 
she  found  herself  in  her  apartment;  but  Elvina 
embraced  her  several  times. 

"Oh,  I  knew  well  that  you  would  come  back," 
she  said;  "I  knew  well  that  you  could  not  always 
live  far  from  us." 

Cesarine  settled  herself  in  her  room,  placed  her 
child's  cradle  beside  her  bed,  put  on  one  of  the 
simple  gowns  she  had  been  in  the  habit  of  wearing 
before  her  departure,  then  she  took  up  some 
tapestry  work  and  seated  herself  beside  little 


CHARLES  PAUL  DE  KOCK      315 

Georgette,  who  was  asleep,  and  waited,  saying  to 
Frederic, — 

"  Now,  he  may  come.  I  wish  he  could  believe 
that  what  has  passed  is  a  dream,  arid  that  I  never 
abandoned  him." 

"  Be  easy,  he  will  believe  it." 

Frederic  was  able  to  affirm  this  to  Cesarine,  for 
the  evening  before  he  had  warned  Adolphe  of  his 
wife's  return,  telling  him  at  the  same  time  of  her 
desire  that  he  should  not  reproach  her  for  her  fol- 
lies; but  Adolphe  felt  too  happy  to  wish  to  recur 
to  the  past ;  besides,  what  good  does  it  do  to  go 
back  over  the  past?  What  is  done,  is  done ! 

When  at  length  Adolphe  came  home,  young 
Elvina,  trembling  and  blushing  with  pleasure,  said 
to  her  brother, — 

"Go  into  your  wife's  room  ;  there,  you  will  find 
some  one  you  are  always  wishing  for,  and  little 
Georgette  whom  you  will  be  so  pleased  to  kiss." 

But  Adolphe  was  not  listening  to  his  sister,  al- 
ready he  was  in  his  wife's  room.  He  could  not 
restrain  an  exclamation  of  joy  at  seeing  her,  and  she 
could  not  keep  back  the  tears,  when  her  husband 
covered  his  child  with  kisses.  These  were  the  first 
tears  of  joy  she  had  shed,  and  she  was  quite  sur- 
prised to  feel  that  sometimes  one  is  happier  when 
weeping  than  when  laughing. 

Then  the  young  couple  threw  themselves  into 
each  other's  arms.  But  not  a  word  passed,  not  a 
reproach,  not  a  sentence  which  could  recall  the  past. 


316  MADAME  PANTALON 

They  were  reconciled ;  and,  where  peace  is  made, 
of  what  use  is  it  to  talk  of  the  war  ? 

But  when  Frederic  came  to  see  the  married 
couple,  Cesarine  took  him  by  the  hand  and  pre- 
sented him  to  her  husband,  saying  to  the  latter, — 

"  My  dear,  this  is  he  who  saved  your  daughter's 
life  ;  but  for  him,  we  should  have  lost  her !  " 

Adolphe  took  Frederic's  hand. 

"  I  owe  you  my  daughter,"  said  he,  "  I  owe  you 
my  wife  also;  in  fact,  I  owe  you  so  much  that  I 
can  never  hope  to  repay  you." 

Some  months  later  Gustave  and  Elvina  were 
married  ;  and  the  latter  was  always  contented  to  be 
just  a  woman  in  her  household. 

As  to  the  other  ladies  who  had  played  the  parts 
of  men  in  the  Pantalon  fraternity,  do  they  fill  them 
still  ?  I  think  not.  Women  have  too  many  attrac- 
tions, charms,  grace,  tact,  and  mischief  to  wish  to 
abdicate  the  throne  of  women  merely  that  they  may 
resemble  the  masculine  sex. 


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